A
male
age
41-50,
*eakslad
writes:I am a 34 year old male who has just begun dating a 19 year old female. I love being with her and adore her greatly, she is mature for her years , fun, serious when neccessary and has all the qualities of my ideal woman! However, I am concerned about the age gap and in particular peoples reactions - pathetic as that may be. Does anyone have any advice for me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2008): I do agree with sappygirl girl since I have the same case, I was 19 when married my husband was 34!
well love is very beautiful, it’s an amazing feeling but I hope marriage was only love then that would be the time when this beauty would had lasts for ever, easy answer1.I thing of marriage of a practical contract between man & woman, like a business!, when they both have to be winners, because after marriage other issues will come up like when to have a child?, your wife’s carrier & much more, that's when the problem starts, 2. after marriage automatically behavior’s changes we start thinking more of our wants & expectations, she is too young to decides & judge,3.since you are 15 years older than her the effects of your x relationships automatically reflects on her. it’s not about people at all, it’s us being practical with our self’s, from my point of view I thing the age difference really maters, well there can be happy couple with big age gape but you got to give a lot to get that love, it's a very personal design, maybe my opinion upset’s you, but it’s the mater of for ever being with it, I wish you good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I just turned 19, personally I wouldn't date a man that was over 30 as the age diffrence would effect the relationship and people your own age are on your level more and you can grow together
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A
female
reader, babyyybre  +, writes (2 September 2008):
be happy with what you have all that really matters is how u 2 feel, its not like shes under 18 then there wuld be a problem but theres not who cares what everyone else thinks all that matters is your guys happiness.
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A
female
reader, Befuddled1 +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Good luck to you I say....You've as much chance as anyone else of making it work.....we're all just making it up as we go along too!I hope you are very happy and lets face it...you fellas never grow up and are big kids forever right?x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): Love and be happy..You are not on trial..age difference...when you are 90 and she is 75ish who gives a toss...you dont want to be 90 looking back thinking what if! and let love pass you by. wouldnt it be also sad that the peolpe who you sacrificed love for are now old or pushing up daisy's. Stuff everyone else...solong as nobody is getting hurt. live your life how you see fit, not for others. I wish you both well, there is 17 years difference between my partner and I.
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A
male
reader, peakslad +, writes (1 September 2008):
peakslad is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou so much guys and gals for taking the time out to reply, it means so much to me! Never been on a site like this before and certainly not confronted an agony aunt! ha.
Your replies, although different in their response, were interesting and perhaps just what i was looking for. Honest, candid and making me face up to the reality of the situation. I don't wanna take this girls formative adult years away from her and i don't want her to miss out on anything that young adulthood has to offer but it seems we have fallen. It's early days and I agree that we have not seen all sides of each other yet. I just can't understand why I am so bothered about peoples reactions , perhaps that says more about me than the relationship eh?
Once again thanks guys and if there is ever an issue I can help with don't hesitate to ask! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): No,people's reactions shouldn't matter.Do you really feel
like you can be totally comfortable being with her?Because
this bothers you enough to ask us.Age is just a number and
shouldn't matter.If the relationship is good and is getting
better,then the thought will just slide right out of your head eventually.Don't focus on this matter so much,because
it's really not that important as much as the relationship
is.So try to get the thought and other people's opinions out
of your head!I hope I helped in some way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): Age doesnt matter in the name of love. If you're really serious on her and have clean intentions even though she's far more younger than you it is not a hindrance. Ive been in a relationship recently with a mature guy which is 13 years older than me. I like mature guys because they are more advance in outlook in life and even more understanding. Hope i address your concern.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (1 September 2008):
 When 15 year olds ask this, people advise - wait until you're 16/18, see how you feel and green for go!
This girl is 19 and people are still referring to her as a teenager. 18 is legally an adult.
Age is just a number. If you connect - go for it. If people have a beef with that... who cares? They're not a third party in the relationship are they?
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Nothing wrong with it if you're not looking forever.
Its legal afterall!
But if you've only just started dating, you wont of seen the real side of each other yet i reakon.
When we are teens we rarely deal with certain situations that innevitably crop up in relationships very well, disagreements especially, simply because we learn to with experience.
Older quite often means wiser.
So if you have a lot of patience go for it. You will do anyway ey.
As for other people though, dont worry about it. I personally wonder what blokes mid thirties upwards see in women as young as mid twenties even, let alone 19! apart from the obvious of course! But it doesn't bother you me saying that does it?
So there yo go
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Age differences don't matter...but the person who you're seeing now is still a teenager, and people have funny feelings about things like that.
That's not to say it won't, or can't work.
In a year when you're 35 she will be 20 which is really classed as an "adult" age so people probably won't bat much of an eyelid; but just be weary of people reactions while she is still a teen.
If she loves you as much as you seem to love her then I don't see a problem.
Take care
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Age should not matter but ultimately you are going to take away some of the best years of her life. This is the time where she finds who she is and grow into a woman. She really doesn't know what she wants. It's all about maturity, wanting the same things in life.Not the age. That is what going to make a relationship last. So go for it if you guys are on the same page. It's normal to see older guys with younger females.
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