A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guysI am a lady of 35 and dating a 23 yr old MAN. my friends have a serious problem with this and keep on telling me that he is just going on a ride with me. What they do not know is the fact that I am HAPPY. I was married to a 37 year old man and he was so messed up for all the years we have been together. We have a beautiful daughter aged 9, my MAN is currently staying with us and we seem to be doing so well and getting on with life.IS he using me? will he change as he gets older and seek a younger chic? what are the challenges of 12 year gap relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (4 September 2008):
 Maybe your friends are a little jealous that you are not stuck in a rut but are enjoying a new life with a younger man. I personally think each relationship is individual, I know of a bloke who married his mother's best friend when he was 23 and she was already over 40 (cant remember her exact age). 20 plus years later they are still very happily married, yet to us (I was around 17 at the time) we thought it was strange and wouldnt last. 35 isnt exactly ancient and you probably dont feel much different to how you felt at 25. I was 35 when I met my husband and he thought I was 28 bless him (he was 32).
There are no guarantees with any relationship, an older man is just as likely to look for a younger model when his wife ages as a younger man is, so I would enjoy what you have together. Tell your friends that although you appreciate their concern you are big enough to live your own life whether its a mistake or not. True friends will appreciate this. x
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 September 2008):
 He probably isn't using you at all, and certainly wont be thinking he will go off with someone else younger in the future. Trouble is, its rare for a guy of 23 to have done all his living by that age. So i wouldn't see it as long term. I was 31 when i dated a 22 yr old for 2 yrs. What a fab time! But i was aware that he will one day move on, and we split after 2 yrs and boy oh boy has that guy partied since we split! But we still say hi on facebook every now n then. He hadn't had children, and at the time he loved playing happy families with a ready made one. But no one saw us as forever, and looking back now, i shouldn't of. But it depends what you want now or in the future or both!
C xxxx
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