A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on how to deal with my boyfriend seeing his ex-girlfriend on a regular basis. Some background information.. Me and the boyfriend have been going out for a year. He dated this girl right before me, the girl broke up with him and he got together with me while he wasn't yet completely over that girl. My boyfriend is the flirty, outgoing and social type who meets new girls all the time. I have always had severe jealousy issues over his vast dating history and his way with girls. Now I found out that he still sees that ex-girlfriend on a regular basis. I completely blew up because I was convinced that he was still interested in her. Right now I'm not sure whether I should let this issue go, trust him that they're friends, or break up with him and end this once and for all because being as jealous as I am, this is simply something that I cannot accept. My bf repeatedly reassures me that I am the only one and that he and that girl are nothing more than friends. To me however this does not mean that he is not interested in her or still has feelings for her. Do you guys agree that feelings for an ex are complicated and don't completely go away even when the relationship ends? And that whatever attracted you to that person in the first place would still be attractive to you now? Is my concern valid? Or am I just blowing things out of proportion?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (4 September 2008):
 Well i would say it varies. No break up is the same quite obviously.
But i dont think EVERY ex still has a special place in a persons heart. I mean i have split from someone i still loved at the time before, i dont think i could of dated anyone else for a while even if i wanted to, but i wouldn't ever go back to that person now. I have been single again since we split yrs ago, and could of bought him back to mine when we saw each other when out one night last yr, but didn't want to. We still speak now n then on facebook, and friends is all it will ever be.
Some people are well aware that what didn't work before possibly will mean it wont work again. But i guess it depends on the reason they split in the first place. We normally dont actually fancy an ex after a while though do we?
C xxxxx
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