A
female
age
36-40,
*eganstar
writes:I am actually a kind of person that loves to share. I don't normally do it with everyone but only to ones that are close to me. I talk quite a bit about my family, past, friends etc with my boy friend. He does talk to me about these too but very little while I talk to him about every little thing. He is the first person I share it with. I want him to also do the same. He says he also likes to share his problems with me and says we need to talk but when we actually get there he just doesn't talk at all. He loves me a lot and I'm kind of an emotional person. so I have been thinking maybe he doesn't wanna upset me by talking serious stuffs. But I want him to talk. I want to know everything about him. This has been my problem with almost every guy. Is the problem with me? Or is that how men are that they talk very less? How do I get him to talk? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008): the problem is you... why don't you just have fun and leave your problems behind. guy's don't like girls with ALOT OF DRAMA... if i were you i would be thinking of having the best time of my life with my special someone.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 You sound just like me!
I'm also very very upfront, and i even used to tell my ex about stupid little mundane things in my day, that probably bored him to tears, but he said he liked it. But he was the opposite, and i never managed to get him to open up more.
Sometimes i would hear him on the phone to a mate telling them something, and i would think thats weird, he never told me that, he would be the first person i would tell that to etc. I wouldn't say it caused rows because it didn't, but i never got my head around it.
I personally dont think there is anything wrong with us, its just the way we are, but they are just the way they are too.
And i'm hoping in the future i will meet someone like me on that score.
But as for how you get your guy to open up more, i dont know, because as i said, i never managed it!
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, cthulhuhugs +, writes (26 August 2008):
 I totally understand what you're going through. I'm the same way. The "problem" (though I wouldn't call it that) is with you. You can't expect everyone to be as open as you are. Some people just have a hard time discussing things. I don't believe it's necessarily a gender thing. Some people are apprehensive about discussing their feelings due to cultural stigmas, the way they were raised, fears of rejection or letting people in.
Part of having a healthy and happy relationship is accepting the parts of our significant others that we dislike.
That being said, I suggest that you try to get him to open up casually, rather than making a big thing of it. Instead of saying "We need to talk," try casually asking him a question about his past while you're enjoying an activity alone. For example, while eating a meal together you could say something like "What is one of your favourite childhood memories?" That way it feels less confrontational and pressuring, and more spontaineous and laid back.
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