| Latest articles: Bus girl blues update!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2009: Continuing the Harry Potter update thought I'd let you know I had a first date tonight with my bus girl. It went really well and she sent me a text saying as much too. Catch is, I look so much younger than I actually am she was pretty shocked w...
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At what point should you give up?
Q. Everyone goes through heart breaks-it's part of life. Many recover and move on and each takes their own time and healing process. OK that's the theory but in real life, with each heart break comes another layer of protection. Any new relatio...
A. 14 August 2009: thanks for all the responses. This was really supposed to be an article rather than a question-not sure how it ended up here! I think it's inevitable that you do build up layers of protection-I suppose it's how you deal with it that counts. And... (read in full...)
Bus girl blues update!
Q. Continuing the Harry Potter update thought I'd let you know I had a first date tonight with my bus girl. It went really well and she sent me a text saying as much too. Catch is, I look so much younger than I actually am she was pretty shocked w...
A. 13 August 2009: So we had lunch today with one of her friends-when I got back to work, there was already an email waiting for me asking if I liked her friend because she's single too!
Needless to say, I got the hint!
Have to admire the way she let me down gent... (read in full...)
Went out on my first date after 6 years!
Q. I went out on my first date after 6 years after a divorce (married for 13 years- I came home from work and my X had left- found out later that he had an affair with a woman that frequently visited the church...there's no life in that story)... On to ...
A. 13 August 2009: well I'm dying to hear how this goes-please keep us updated!
... (read in full...)
Friendship or Relationship?
Q. Friendship or Relationship? Things are never simple there is always complications in life, working through those complications is the hard part, you could risk everything for a moment of happiness. What do you do if you have to pick a friendshi...
A. 13 August 2009: I know not the answer but here's my thoughts, for what they're worth.
I've had strong feelings for friends in the past that may have grown into a relationship but never have. Right now, I'm going through this situation again.
What always h... (read in full...)
We need a flat from the housing association, are there age restrictions?
Q. Hello there, Me and my partner are expecting a baby in April and basically we can not stay at my parents place or her's. Simple question because I'm not too sure. What age have you got to be to have a single flat for the housing associatio...
A. 29 July 2009: I'm certain that you'll be able to apply as a couple.
Having been through the process, I'd highly recommend you speak to citizens advice - they can help you fill out the application to make sure you get the best chance-especially if you are appl... (read in full...)
Squishing menacing creatures.
Q. I posted this before: different screen name though. Instead of telling you how it relates to relationships this time, i'd really like to see who all can figure it out. I may get more insite on is relativity than i ever did think of myself. Apri...
A. 28 July 2009: I'm more than a bit disappointed a potato peeler was not your weapon of choice.
:-(... (read in full...)
What would you do if you found your 40 husband in bed with a girl age 18-21? Help me
Q. What would you do if you found your husband who's 40 in bed with a girl between the ages of 18-21? The girls blonde, young everything he would like and i even found texts on his phone where he told her she was hotter than me, and would prefer h...
A. 28 July 2009: Potato peeler!
That is truly inspired! ... (read in full...)
He goes too quick and sometimes I just want sex!
Q. So my boyfriend cannot last during sex at all. I can tell if he kept going for like a good 15 minutes I would probably be able to finish and be satisfied, but he can only last about 30 seconds! He doesn't finish after 30 seconds, but we have to stop ...
A. 28 July 2009: One 'trick' I used to use was to sort myself out an hour or so before sex. Made me last longer.
Or bring him off first, then spend 30 mins or so of him 'obliging' you, then try again when he's ready-should last longer the 2nd time.
Or try ... (read in full...)
I fear my husband isn't attracted to me anymore and is having an affair! Is anyone like me?
Q. I'm a housewife since our son was born 5 years ago. Taking meds to get preg for 2nd baby.I'm tired most of the time(due to medicines i think)I'm overweight and I know my husband is not attracted to me though we have sex twice a week. I'm scared o...
A. 27 July 2009: I know a couple married for 32 years-he's active, does sports, she stays at home, does housework, cleaning and actually is famed for her love of doing the washing! He's fit, she's not but they accept each other for who they are and are still in ... (read in full...)
I want to give him a chance but he punches me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend over 2 years and we're madly in love. However on a number of occassions he has punched etc.He has not beat me up and never badly hurt me. I used to blame myself but not anymore . After warning him never to touch me ...
A. 27 July 2009: Let me start by saying that in my personal opinion, any man that hits a woman for any reason is the lowest of the low. My gut reaction is to walk away.
But it does seem like he genuinely wants to deal with this and if you feel you can, maybe y... (read in full...)
How will I know when it's right to move on?
Q. I've been with a girl for 5 years and for the past few months we haven't been happy together,we both wanted different things in life so we decided to end our relationship. It is two weeks since we broke up, soon after we broke up i was talking to a ...
A. 27 July 2009: I can understand why she would think you're on the rebound and maybe you seem just a bit too keen to her. It's clear that you like this girl so maybe you should take it a bit more slowly, take your time with her, respect her feelings that yo... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive when I expect my boyfriend of one year to invite me to family events?
Q. Am I being too sensitive when I expect my boyfriend of one year to invite me to family events? I have met some family members and he has met some of mine, so I don't understand why he does not invite me to cookouts, dinners, etc when he is with his ...
A. 27 July 2009: There may be a good reason why he won't take you along. Only by asking him why will you find out if that is the case so that, I think should be your starting point. It may be for example that he doesn't want you to go because he's insecure about h... (read in full...)
Bus girl blues update!
Q. Continuing the Harry Potter update thought I'd let you know I had a first date tonight with my bus girl. It went really well and she sent me a text saying as much too. Catch is, I look so much younger than I actually am she was pretty shocked w...
A. 27 July 2009: thanks for your response. I could only guess at her age when I first asked her out-for all I knew she could have been 30 plus-honestly had no idea. And it wouldn't have mattered-i didn't ask her out guessing she was younger-I simply asked her out ... (read in full...)
How can I strike up a conversation with the girl I like?
Q. i live a couple of houses away from a girl that i really like. i am the same age as her and she is a presenter on a news show. she doesn't have a boyfriend and i really do like her i would like to ask her out but what should i say? because i am not ...
A. 26 July 2009: good advice from the aunts-just go for it-start with small talk and take it from there-maybe the third or fourth time, if you feel it's going ok, ask her out for coffee or something -not a full blown 'date' - that approach worked for me at least!... (read in full...)
For the Guys: At "that" moment, what do you want us to do?
Q. Guys - when you are cumming, do you want the motion to continue or stop? e.g. when a girl is giving you head do you want her to continue while you cum or stop?...
A. 26 July 2009: oh and slow down at the end too!... (read in full...)
For the Guys: At "that" moment, what do you want us to do?
Q. Guys - when you are cumming, do you want the motion to continue or stop? e.g. when a girl is giving you head do you want her to continue while you cum or stop?...
A. 26 July 2009: Don't stop right away-keep going - he'll generally pull away or ask you to stop when he's ready. You'll generally get to know how long to go on with your partner the longer you are with them.
... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll regret it if I don't act on this feeling,,,!
Q. If I don't act on my physical attraction w/my husbands friend how on earth will I get over the overwhelming aching attraction? Should I live my life always wondering what it would have been? I am talking about 1 night not a relationship. And yes he ...
A. 26 July 2009: Putting it another way, will you live to regret your one night with this man? Will you be able to live with that? Are you prepared to risk your marriage? Think about those things as objectively as you can. Having been in your s... (read in full...)
Do you think, despite the age difference, our love is too good to be true?
Q. I met this guy, I knew I was in love with him right from the beginning, but thought he would never fall for me. I'm 14 and he's 16, however I didn't complain because we became really good friends and have a lot in common such as our hobbies. Against ...
A. 25 July 2009: I can't say how others would judge you or if his feelings are true of course!
But your mum sounds very sensible and as a dad I'd say the same.
So as long as he respects your boundaries (and you his), and you're safe, I'd say go for it.
A ... (read in full...)
Aunts and uncles: Do you feel defeated? Your answers seem to reflect this!
Q. A lot of advice I see given here counsels the person to just cut their losses when the going gets even a little rough. Its sad and pathetic. Is everyone on this site defeated in one way or another? It seems that way from some of the topics, and ...
A. 24 July 2009: Defeatist, no. Realist, yes. ... (read in full...)
Went out on my first date after 6 years!
Q. I went out on my first date after 6 years after a divorce (married for 13 years- I came home from work and my X had left- found out later that he had an affair with a woman that frequently visited the church...there's no life in that story)... On to ...
A. 23 July 2009: Good to hear your story! I've just been out for a first date after 12 years after a damaging marriage. What will come out of it, I don't know-we're both extremely cautious from past experiences. We're taking it very slow too. Thing about lov... (read in full...)
Am I heartless for even thinking about this?
Q. I'm engaged to a lovely girl. We've been together for over 5 years, but ever since we bought a house together she's become very distant. She still chooses to live with her mother rather than at our house, and openly admits that she doesn't know if ...
A. 21 July 2009: been in the same position before-my ex stayed in bed all day, wouldn't even bother to look for a job and made me her emotional crutch when she should have been getting professional help. God help me I tried to keep it together but eventually ... (read in full...)
Masturbating to an ex's picture?
Q. So I was going through some old photos and I found one of my ex gf that is pretty provocative. I ended up masturbating to her picture. It felt really good, but at the same time, I felt vaguely guilty. My question is, how bad should I feel he...
A. 19 July 2009: How bad should you feel? No one can tell you that!
Men and women fantasise often when masturbating. Whether it's a movie star or an ex perhaps there's no real difference - both are invariably unavailable.
So not odd or weird but remember to... (read in full...)
Lost out on friendliest girl I ever met due to shyness, how do I fix it, can it be fixed?
Q. I had a bad accident about three years ago, I got really thin and weak after it and lost all my self confidence. I've only just recovered from it in the last few months. A couple of months after the accident I saw this girl on the bus but I was too ...
A. 19 July 2009: I've recently had a similar situation - check my article for more. Sorry to say I think you've blown it - something that I managed to avoid by actually doing something about it. I think she was interested in you but you gave off all the wrong si... (read in full...)
Believing in fate....The biggest LIE
Q. Do you know what the biggest lie is? The lie that people believe that our lives are shaped by fate thas the biggest lie. Everything we do is the careful path that God set us up to make our personal legends. What is our personal legend you ask? It ...
A. 19 July 2009: There is a theory that everything that has happened and will happen in the universe is completely pre-ordained by the very stuff that makes up everything from the tiniest particle to the most massive stars. Not pre-ordained by God, but by the ... (read in full...)
What's the biggest reason why you divorced?
Q. I want ask people , who are already divorced, What was the biggest reason to do it? And if they had regret after all? I really want to divore, as my marriage can't be saved anymore, Tried all possible ways for several years I have nobody else,and ...
A. 19 July 2009: There were many reasons why I'm getting a divorce. The main one was that I simply couldn't see any sort of future for our marriage.
Ultimately, I knew that if it went on, we'd end up destroying each other and being in a place neither of us wante... (read in full...)
Being yourself :)
Q. I only wrote an article a little while ago but I like sharing little bits of life so here we go with another one! And by the way, I'm talking about men but obviously the same applies with women :) I often ask my male friends for advice. Every so...
A. 18 July 2009: I always thought men were relatively uncomplicated creatures! Good to hear a different perspective!
Pretty much agree with what you say - you can't generalise and pigeon hole men and women - everyone's individual and has their own needs.
... (read in full...)
What do us quiet people do?
Q. Thankyou for reading this, just needed to write.. hope someone will read this and try to listen. Those of us who are on the quieter side tend to value our friends a lot, sometimes we dont have lot of them. I'm queiter and have few friends, a ...
A. 18 July 2009: On the friends aspect, I only have one or two good friends too-and they happen to be family members!
Not sure why, but I only seem to be able to have good platonic friendships with women. They tell me I'm a nice guy and a good listener so I oft... (read in full...)
Why is love so complicated?
Q. Why is it that love is so complicated? We read all the fairy tales when we are younger, how everyone lives happily ever after. Of course, at some point or another, we all think we have found our happily ever after. But, when we see the true ...
A. 18 July 2009: You know what-it's not that complicated!
It's just finding someone who realises that too and working through the hard bits.
I'm still looking - and KNOW I'll find it!!! ... (read in full...)
Getting over the past... how can I help the man I love deal with mine?
Q. My boyfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up. Four years ago was the darkest time in my life. I met my current boyfriend and his best friend and ended up sleeping with both of them when my current boyfriend was helping me out of a horribl...
A. 18 July 2009: Let me put it like this.
Would I ever get over a girl who had slept with a friend? -no.
Would I be able to reconcile that with a lady I was totally head over heels in love with? -no.
I'm sorry -it's something you probably don't want to h... (read in full...)
What do us quiet people do?
Q. Thankyou for reading this, just needed to write.. hope someone will read this and try to listen. Those of us who are on the quieter side tend to value our friends a lot, sometimes we dont have lot of them. I'm queiter and have few friends, a ...
A. 18 July 2009: First of all, it's not a 'problem' -it's who we are!
Pretending to be someone else will never work.
Love happens when you are being yourself and when you least expect it.
People like us tend to have long term relationships that are m... (read in full...)
A week of the ex-factor. The more I learn about men, the more I hate them!
Q. i have had the worst week of my life it started at 10 am last thursday i got a call from a friend of mine saying that my ex had just been arrested and is in jail on 4 felonies and a misdeminor. first of all this was my bestfriend i was fucking for a ...
A. 17 July 2009: I think you need a serious break from any sort of guy relationship right now. You really don't need this hassle just now and need time to step back and get things into perspective.
Take some time out-can you get away for a few days somewher... (read in full...)
Is it just human nature to cheat?
Q. Does anyone have a straight-forward, happy, long-lasting relationship these days? My Mum and Dad divorced when I was a teenager, and my bf has recently cheated on me (nothing physical, but exchanging flirty texts and phone calls with a girl from ...
A. 17 July 2009: totally agree with all that's been said before.
It's a convenient excuse used by some cowards to be unfaithful cos everyone else is.
But There's no excuse really-tis a choice.... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or were his hurtful words as bad as it seems?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months and well it has so far been great! im 17 now, but when i was 11 i was raped twice by the same guy. this horrified me, and i havnt told anyone since! apart from my boyfriend, i didnt want to be rushed into sex, ...
A. 17 July 2009: The only 'dick' in this story is your boyfriend who was completely disrespectful to you.
As the previous answer says, he's a jerk-have nothing more to do with him-when you're ready, you'll find someone who will treat you with the respect you dese... (read in full...)
Her mom died and now she wont make love
Q. My wife's mom died a month ago and she didn't want to anything sexual, she wouldn't even let me see her naked. Anyway one night I was really horny.and my wife was washing dishes. Well I went behind her and grabbed her breasts (she usually hates me ...
A. 17 July 2009: I'm amazed you find it such an issue.
Put yourself in her shoes-the very last thing on her mind right now is sorting out your horniness.
If you're that desperate, sort yourself out then give her the support and love she needs from you right n... (read in full...)
I feel so lonely, I want to have more confidence and friends, please help!
Q. hi i need help. i feel so lonely all the time ive just come out of a very bad relationship and my self esteem is zilch-to be honest ive never had much im always so hard on myself , negative critical. i have only 1 good friend-that sounds terrib...
A. 17 July 2009: Hey there!
I've been where you are now and have two bits of advice really:
1 Make the effort to go out more -after work for a drink maybe or just start talking to people more-join a club etc -it's the usual stuff vodka.
2 You're feeling sorr... (read in full...)
He said he has a 'lust' problem and looks at other naked girls. He wants me to help him, should I believe it?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. While we were on a walk at the park when i found pictures of girls (not models) posing nude. We argued about this for hours. He told me that he has a problem with lust and sometimes likes to look. ...
A. 17 July 2009: Just sounds like a very lame excuse to me. Sorry but I think he's just been caught and is trying to deflect the embarrassment.
Think he needs to grow up a bit - and no, if he truly does have a problem, it's not for you to help him sort it out-he c... (read in full...)
Update: Thanks for all the advice and she said "yes" to my proposal!
Q. I just wanted to update what I wrote in here last week. I don't know how many of you will recognize this, but I'm the guy who wanted to propose to his girlfriend "Harry Potter-style". I took her to the HP Expo in Chicago Tuesday night and right ...
A. 17 July 2009: Brilliant to hear some good news for a change!
Nice one!... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man keeps going back to his manipulative ex?
Q. Dear Cupid, What does it mean when a man keeps getting back together with his ex even though they have a very strained relationship. She is very manipulative and makes him feel guilty for leaving her and bad because she says she has no one else ...
A. 17 July 2009: Exactly the same as my ex-tries to manipulate by feeding on the guilt. And believe me, she could easily achieve a Phd on the subject!
Let's make one thing clear-no-one can make anyone else feel 'guilty' - it is the person themselves who feel the... (read in full...)
Talking to my ex is making it hard, should I stop talking to him?
Q. Heyyy all :) My boyfriend and I split up just over 2 weeks ago now and at the time i was on holiday, it was a long distance relationship and we finished over the distance. At the time i was a bit sad but i just continued with my holiday. However...
A. 17 July 2009: My experience of talking to an ex after a break up is that it just prolongs the point where you can move on I'm afraid.
I've found it impossible to be friends after a break up - it brings up feelings that one or both simply don't want anymore.... (read in full...)
Should I get out now or wait until the whole family is imprisoned?
Q. For the last 6 months I have been in love with a wonderful man who I had every intention of marrying. Recently his past relationships have come to the fore a lot esp regarding his young son who is always getting into trouble. This child has recently ...
A. 16 July 2009: I think you know what you should do. Everyone has baggage that they bring to a relationship but some baggage is heavier!
It sounds like you can't accept the issues that this man's family is causing and I totally understand why - and I think th... (read in full...)
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