| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 6 February 2013: Real people dont play games. Only fakes do that. ... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 30 January 2013: I think maybe you'd need to have been on a real bad first date, in order to get some perspective. So I will share with you that one date I was on, the man didn't speak to me at all. He sat in silence. Didn't utter a word. Granted, it was a blind ... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 30 January 2013: In my opinion, farting is something you do in private at the toilet, and not in front of others. No matter how long you've been married/living together. But some people have bad habits, some people have upset stomachs, some people just ate something ... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 30 January 2013: In my opinion, farting is something you do in private at the toilet, and not in front of others. No matter how long you've been married/living together. But some people have bad habits, some people have upset stomachs, some people just ate something ... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 29 January 2013: "And I noticed he had small hands - could this mean a small penis??!"
You're too old to be buying into that "small hands, small feet, small penis" theory. No... the size of hands and feet say absolutely nothing about the size of the penis. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't talk to me and threatens to leave me if I don't stop nagging him!
Q. Hi My bf of 3 years always ignores me, he doesn't even talk for 10 minutes with me but has time for his friends and for watching TV and playing games. Whenever I ask he says I'm nagging him and if this continues he is gonna leave me. He doesn't eve...
A. 28 January 2013: Help you with what? Realizing that this isn't what makes you happy? Give you a kick in the butt to get out of this relationship?
Your man isn't going to suddenly wake up one morning and have a different personality. If you want a man who talks to... (read in full...)
My best friend who is like a brother to me admitted that he's gay and attracted to me. I am now avoiding him because I don't know how to handle this
Q. I’m a man in my early thirties and right now I have a complicated situation in my life. My best friend confessed to me that he’s gay. We know each other for almost 25 years and he’s like a brother to me. We grew up together, we went in the same ...
A. 28 January 2013: "Is it ok to feel a bit confused about this whole thing?" Yes! But it's not really a complicated situation. Imagine he was a girl, who has been your friend for years. And although you really enjoyed her company, you just don't see her as girlfr... (read in full...)
I was wondering if there was any sort of vitamins or remedies I can take or use, to help boost my ever so low libido.
Q. So I'm here for some advice about my sex drive/low libido whatever you want to name it. I'm 20 years old been with my boyfriend for 10 months. I'm a virgin he isn't. So our sex life isn't brilliant but our relationship is great except for the s...
A. 28 January 2013: You do have a sex drive, you're just a virgin that's all. You're not feeling ready for sex.
When my boyfriend was a virgin he'd go for months at a time without even thinking about sex, or craving it, or feeling a need for it. He spent a year and... (read in full...)
I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?
Q. I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...
A. 28 January 2013: ", glances at swimsuit editions when I'm not there allowed. "
... Do you even realize how many times a day you yourself look at men in their underwear? How do you intend to stop looking at commercials for boxers, or fitness commercials, or TV-sh... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have to pay board to their parents?
Q. Hi, just a quick question! I am 20 years old, and have just moved back home. My parents have asked me to contribute $100 a week, for rent/bills/food. I work full-time, making about $600 (aus) a week. I also have my phone bill to pay, as well as ...
A. 27 January 2013: A lot of people point out that if you work full time you'd be expected to pay, so I wanted to point out that I was studying full time (finishing high school), and I STILL paid rent.
Where did I get the money? I got my child care money from my ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have to pay board to their parents?
Q. Hi, just a quick question! I am 20 years old, and have just moved back home. My parents have asked me to contribute $100 a week, for rent/bills/food. I work full-time, making about $600 (aus) a week. I also have my phone bill to pay, as well as ...
A. 27 January 2013: Pardon me but how spoiled are the kids in your neighborhood? Yes, everyone I know who is above 18 and is still living with their parents pay rent, and usually a lot more than what you're currently paying. When I first moved out of home at 16 I had ... (read in full...)
I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?
Q. I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...
A. 27 January 2013: "little female friends"
What does the number of female friends mean though? I fail to see how that is in any way relevant. The way he treats his female friends is far more relevant. If he is respectful to his female friends and has 20 of them, th... (read in full...)
I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?
Q. I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...
A. 27 January 2013: Headline question: yes, these men exist.
However.. what are you on about? " Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) " Looking at other women is NOT cheating... (read in full...)
A virgin dating a player. I'm scared about having sex with him!
Q. Hey everyone, I'm dating a well known business man of my city,and even before I knew him I'd read about how he's a player and is not really looking for a relationship,I never ever thought for the life of me I'd date him some day!so when I got into...
A. 26 January 2013: If hes a player, then hes got other women on the side. How long have you been in a relationship, one where you had the talk about being exclusive and officially a couple? Seeing him for 9months doesnt mean you have been exclusive for 9 months.... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my guy friend for sleeping with my then girlfriend?
Q. I am not completely sure how forgiveness works. I don't know when to let go of something, or to hold onto it -- I either do or I don't, and that is that. I have a question about forgiving and forgetting. To ask it, I feel I should give the story ...
A. 25 January 2013: Or actually.. in time you should forgive it in your heart so that you can move on. But don't forget. Forgiving doesn't mean you will be friends again, it just mean you will no longer carry hatred towards them. Forgiving does not mean you erase the ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my guy friend for sleeping with my then girlfriend?
Q. I am not completely sure how forgiveness works. I don't know when to let go of something, or to hold onto it -- I either do or I don't, and that is that. I have a question about forgiving and forgetting. To ask it, I feel I should give the story ...
A. 25 January 2013: "I don't know why, but, I have not forgiven him."
Of course not, because he's committed the worst sin anyone can really do: betrayal.
He betrayed you, in several ways, and on many occasions. He lied to you on several occasions, right... (read in full...)
How can I convince my Boyfriend that his smoking weed is a deal breaker for me?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. When we first met i didnt know he smoked weed, but as time went on he seemed to smoke more and more to the point where i said it was bothering me. His personality has changed and the smell drives me ...
A. 25 January 2013: Headline question: How can you convince him it's a deal breaker? By leaving.
"but he would always come up with some sort of excuse" He's an addict, addicts defend their addiction. You need to start treating this for what it is, this isn't ca... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to know if he can go to a party where his ex will be. What do I say?
Q. My bf met up with his ex behind my back 2 years ago. He lied about it but the truth eventually came out. Not only that he'd saved semi naked (recent) photos on his computer from her facebook. We had a massive argument and had a break but I ...
A. 25 January 2013: Why are you freaking out? Aren't you over what happened two years ago? Have you been freaked out by the thought of her for two whole years? That doesn't sound well, now does it? If it bothers you so much, maybe you shouldn't be in this relationship ... (read in full...)
A virgin dating a player. I'm scared about having sex with him!
Q. Hey everyone, I'm dating a well known business man of my city,and even before I knew him I'd read about how he's a player and is not really looking for a relationship,I never ever thought for the life of me I'd date him some day!so when I got into...
A. 24 January 2013: Uhm.. what makes you think that if he loves you he will judge you by your "skill in bed"? If he loves you he'll love being with you, and everything will be fine. If anything he should be the one who is embarrassed that he's been playing women and ... (read in full...)
My fiance admitted that he was sexually assaulted as a child. He has been with a man twice. Can I trust him?
Q. i have been dating a man for 9 months now and became engaged a month ago, i found out he has been with a man once or twice and was currently talking sex stuff to multiple people women and men. i adressed him with this and he said he has stopped. i ...
A. 23 January 2013: There's no need to go thinking you can't have a relationship. But he needs to get to therapy. You can be supportive, but you can't help him with all of this, it is too much. You can't be his therapist. He needs to see someone he can talk to who is ... (read in full...)
Why does my guy keep on his shirt and boxers during sex?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and we have always been sexually compatible. However he always wears his shirt and boxers while we have sex. He will take his shirt off if I do it for Him, but it is never something he does on ...
A. 23 January 2013: Oh yeah, my man is embarrassed about wearing shorts. He wears long pants at the beach even, with swimwear underneath. He's got perfectly fine legs, but you know, it's all in the head. A persons insecurity is all in their head. With encouragement ... (read in full...)
I regret my transsexual surgery. What to do?
Q. Hello everyone, Im having some troubles now. I went through a transsexual surgery some time ago and turned from a male into a female. However, recently I start to see some identity crisis in myself. The main objective of the surgery was so t...
A. 23 January 2013: "The main objective of the surgery was so that I could be a female openly and date the man I love. That was so till I met this woman from work. She was absolutely charming, and I found myself starting to fall for her."
Sp your first objectiv... (read in full...)
Why does my guy keep on his shirt and boxers during sex?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and we have always been sexually compatible. However he always wears his shirt and boxers while we have sex. He will take his shirt off if I do it for Him, but it is never something he does on ...
A. 23 January 2013: He's embarassed about something. Is there a reason why you haven't just asked him?
My guess is he sweats a lot during sex. Guys tend to do that. And maybe he's self counscious about it. If I'm on top and my man is down under, there will be a nic... (read in full...)
Women--how would you feel if your male partner turned you down for sex?
Q. I haven't had any experience with this kind of thing myself but I'm just curious to hear opinions. You sometimes hear from men that their partners are always too tired for sex or are stressed etc. I know that obviously some men are going to get...
A. 23 January 2013: "I guess it happens a lot less because you don't really hear of many men turning sex down."
No, it happens frequantly, and just as often as women turning men down for sex. Men and women are, in fact, exactly the same when it comes to sex. But soci... (read in full...)
His asexuality doesn't match my high sex drive! Can it possibly work?
Q. Hi everyone! I am currently dealing with an issue I need some advice on. I have been in a relationship for several years and and my partner and I had always had an active sex life. I was always satisfied, though he could never reach orgasm. I ...
A. 22 January 2013: Yes, you are right. He was all you dreamed of... Otherwise. But now, knowing this, he is no longer the man of dreams. Thats just how things are sometimes.... (read in full...)
An affair that I never wanted to begin ended badly. I am shocked to the core at how he could do this to me!
Q. I understand that I will be judged for what I am about to ask, but please understand that nothing that can be said is comparable to the guilt and pain I am putting myself through. I had a male friend for about 2 years with whom I went to school. ...
A. 21 January 2013: " When I asked him why it had taken him the whole day to tell me, he admitted that he had hoped to just delete me off of Facebook and phase me out of his life without having to talk in person."
This got to be the most ridiculous man I've ever hea... (read in full...)
His asexuality doesn't match my high sex drive! Can it possibly work?
Q. Hi everyone! I am currently dealing with an issue I need some advice on. I have been in a relationship for several years and and my partner and I had always had an active sex life. I was always satisfied, though he could never reach orgasm. I ...
A. 21 January 2013: To answer the headline question: NO. There is no way it can work. "Of course, I felt a lot of different emotions. I felt hurt that he wasn't truly attracted to me sexually" It's not that he doesn't find you sexual, he doesn't find anything... (read in full...)
"time apart" means break? or break up?
Q. If your boyfriend says we need time apart, no contact for a bit is it okay to clarify if this is a "break" or "breakup" or should I just give up...
A. 20 January 2013: You need to discuss with him what he means by that. Define the parameters. Is this a break? Are you allowed to go on dates with others? Are you allowed to kiss/have sex with others?
In my experience, a break/time apart ALWAYS means a break up... (read in full...)
More than 6 years together, he's still putting off marriage and now its making me bitter and unhappy.
Q. Sorry for the length, I feel the information is necessary to get a good reply. THANKS to anyone who reads and replies! I am 24(female), my boyfriend is 33. We have been together for over 6 years and living together for just about 6 years. No majo...
A. 20 January 2013: " yesterday he pulled me aside to measure my ring finger and asked me if I liked a certain style of ring he'd been looking at"
Procrastination. If he is serious about ring shoping he'd take you with him to look at rings. Or show you pictures... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm going to ruin my internship because I'm so tired all the time!
Q. This is not really a relationship question, but about job performance (or lack thereof, in my case.) Since most of you have jobs or had one, I would really appreciate your advice on this. Right now I'm finishing up my studies at uni through an i...
A. 20 January 2013: " 'Hey you're the one living so far away from here, so if you don't like it: move.'"
Alternatively, they were the ones who chose to hire you, obviously you were the best one for the position in their eyes. If they want to KEEP you, then maybe th... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm going to ruin my internship because I'm so tired all the time!
Q. This is not really a relationship question, but about job performance (or lack thereof, in my case.) Since most of you have jobs or had one, I would really appreciate your advice on this. Right now I'm finishing up my studies at uni through an i...
A. 17 January 2013: Take the bus, carpool, find someone close to work whos couch to sleep on. Take fewer classes, fulltime work AND studies cant be done without taking its toll. Or maybe the internship isnt worth this?? Not if it interferes with your studies. You can ... (read in full...)
More than 6 years together, he's still putting off marriage and now its making me bitter and unhappy.
Q. Sorry for the length, I feel the information is necessary to get a good reply. THANKS to anyone who reads and replies! I am 24(female), my boyfriend is 33. We have been together for over 6 years and living together for just about 6 years. No majo...
A. 16 January 2013: Just want to say one thing: Never give up your dreams for a man. Never. If you want marriage and children, and he doesnt, then it is not enough. You will regret it for the rest of your life. And if he leaves you, then what? Were the years you spent ... (read in full...)
I love my friend and want to stay friends with him despite him having a girlfriend. Why won't he open up to me?
Q. im friends with a guy and last summer we grew close as in a few kisses nothing else. hes been with his girlfriend 5 years. he says shes domineering and threatens suicide. i fell deeply in love with him but he said due to what was going on he couldnt ...
A. 13 January 2013: Hes not a friend of yours, be honest with yourself here. You want more than friendship, and like it or not but he doesnt feel the same about you. Sure he says hes unhappy, he probably is. But not all the time, not so unhappy that he wants to leave ... (read in full...)
How would you define the differences between FWB versus FB relationships?
Q. I'm curious about FWB and FB relationships. What exactly are they? I know what the terms stand for just need to know the differences. In a FWB relationship is there really friendship? In a FB relationship is it just do the deed and leave? ...
A. 4 January 2013: They are basically the same. There is no real friendship in fwb, as friends as platonic. If the friendship is not platonic, then it isnt really a friendship... Besides, once you mix sex into it, whatever friendship you started with will be gone. ... (read in full...)
Why did my husband not include me on the pregnancy email?
Q. I recently entered my second trimester in my pregnancy. My husband and I are both very excited about having a baby. He recently sent a mass email to his co-workers and our friends announcing our pregnancy, but he didn't include me on the email. I ...
A. 3 January 2013: He just told you why! He thought it would bother you to deal with all the responses. If that was incorrect, all you should do is tell him it is no bother and you would like to see the responses. Your man can not read your mind, and he just did not ... (read in full...)
Why swallow? whats the pleasure?
Q. dear readers, i would like to ask the men out there and possibly the women why men like a girl to swallow their semen? why is it attractive to men to see there girlfriend swalllowing the product of their energy? some women say it tastes awfu...
A. 28 December 2012: I don't think men care either way. As long as you don't throw up because of the taste, or make weird faces because of the taste, then who cares. It would hurt your feelings too if a man goes down on you and then makes faces and says "eww, it tastes ... (read in full...)
Is there absolutely anyway I'll be able to get over my ex and move past what she did to me? What am I supposed to do with my life now?
Q. So I dated a girl for 3 years, invested everything I had into the relationship: my time, my money (albeit we started dating when I was only 15 years of age) and she absolutely drove me into the ground. I found out halfway through the relation...
A. 28 December 2012: "And yet I still care about her and miss her to this day. Now I'm 19 years old, unable to get a job and I don't have a single friend to my name."
You credit her with far too much, and give her far too much meaning. Rumours would be just rumours,... (read in full...)
We are both 18. He's a virgin. But his technique needs work. How do I teach him without offending him?
Q. I'm a 18 y/o female, not a virgin. I've only had one sexual partner but he was a lot older and more experienced guy, so the sex was great! He taught me a lot... However I'm now going out with an 18 year old virgin, who hasn't done Anything sexual.....
A. 27 December 2012: Patience. Teach him how to kiss. But you can't teach him to last longer. Take it as a copliment that he didn't last long, it was probably the first time a girl touched him like that, and the feeling can be overwhelming. You need to be patient. He ... (read in full...)
Feeling bruised but not broken. How do I move on? And why is moving on so hard after a breakup?
Q. Why is moving on so hard? My ex and I broke up in November and now I found out he has a brand new girlfriend. Even though our romance was short-lived,I'm still heartbroken. I'm doing all that I can to move on. I even unfriended a mutual friend of...
A. 27 December 2012: I just let time pass. That's basically it. Cut contact down to a minimum, and not get informed about what they do or who they see. These feelings can last for years, I don't know anyone who actually got over someone in a month. Not when they cared ... (read in full...)
Is pursuing a masters degree with a baby realistic?
Q. Hi Everyone! I'm looking to hear from people (especially women) that have raised a family while pursuing their post-secondary education. I'm currently 25 years old and a full-time university student working toward two degrees (simultaneously)...
A. 27 December 2012: You wont be able to be a stay at home mum and finish your masters at the same time, unless you're one of the special super women I've seen out there who can do unbelievable things.
However, if your lovely husband stays home with the baby I don't ... (read in full...)
I packed my bags and left after he hid me from his mother.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2years going into our 3rd. We have been living together for 2years straight. Last year he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend and i forgave him. Earlier this year we went for an HIV test and discovered he was HIV+...
A. 27 December 2012: I think you did what is right for you. You know if you are unhappy or happy. Yes, this man could make you happy, if only this or that. If only he hadn't cheated, if only he wouldn't hide you from his mother, if only he would propose. But he is who ... (read in full...)
How do people so young achieve so much in a short time?
Q. I know i'm going by television here, but i'm sure this is a reality for some people. But i've always wondered how is it that people in Los Angeles for example, live in these massive houses and always have these parties with so many people!! But the ...
A. 27 December 2012: Rich parents. That's the only way, unless you're ridiculously lucky. But everyone I know who are wealthy at a young age actually don't have any money of their own, it's all thanks to their parents. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend let me touch him?
Q. I don't understand, but my boyfriend will touch me anywhere,(lying on my bed with clothes on!) but when I try to touch him, he moves my hand. I've mentioned it a couple of times: why don't you let me touch you and he says that he will "but not yet " ...
A. 23 December 2012: I'm betting he's just shy and embarassed. Some guys mature late, and at 15 many don't have pubic hair, or facial hair. Maybe don't have a low voice. They feel awkward about themselves. Maybe he gets a hard on when he touches you (most probably) and ... (read in full...)
So is this guy straight and just super comfortable with his sexuality, or is he sending me signals that he wants more?
Q. So a little background first. I am a 29 year old closeted at work Gay man that works as a Paramedic. Recently I was assigned a new partner whom is 20 years old and quite good looking. I immediately took notice and began to develop an innocent crush ...
A. 20 December 2012: I think you should follow what your gut tells you. I think if your gut tells you he might be curious, or maybe even closetes gay, or on his way to being homosexual, then your gut is right. I don't think it's wishful thinking. But, there are a few ... (read in full...)
Pregnant? Condom slipped a bit and I'm worried about the chances of pregnancy. Any advice?
Q. I was having sex with a condom on and the i were on top.I ejaculated into the condom while still inside of her and we continued for few minutes. Condom doesn't break and slipped down maybe 0,2 -0,5 inch . Is there higher chance of pregnancy?...
A. 16 December 2012: If there was no semen at the sides of the condom, and none at the base of the condom, then nothing to worry about. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant? Condom slipped a bit and I'm worried about the chances of pregnancy. Any advice?
Q. I was having sex with a condom on and the i were on top.I ejaculated into the condom while still inside of her and we continued for few minutes. Condom doesn't break and slipped down maybe 0,2 -0,5 inch . Is there higher chance of pregnancy?...
A. 15 December 2012: No higher risk unless the condom slipped off inside of her. As long as it stayed on the outside then it's ok. The condom will naturally move up and down during intercourse as well, although you might not have noticed it. ... (read in full...)
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