| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I'm 22 and hopeless with girls!
Q. I'm 22, I am hopeless with girls. I have never been with one and now I am too scared to even try. I am a male model (physique, underwear etc) so objectively I am pretty good looking at the very least, very hot at the most... which almost compounds ...
A. 9 April 2013: There is definitely no point in not trying.
Rejection is part of the game, and not a personal offense. A girl rejecting you, well maybe you weren't what she looked for. Just like not every girl is what you look for. You like the looks of maybe 3 ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and hopeless with girls!
Q. I'm 22, I am hopeless with girls. I have never been with one and now I am too scared to even try. I am a male model (physique, underwear etc) so objectively I am pretty good looking at the very least, very hot at the most... which almost compounds ...
A. 9 April 2013: I know this is beginning to sounds like a therapy session, but if you don't mind me continuing this conversation: Why is your pride invested) Or, in what way is your pride invested?
What is the difference between 1. asking a girl out, and poss... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and hopeless with girls!
Q. I'm 22, I am hopeless with girls. I have never been with one and now I am too scared to even try. I am a male model (physique, underwear etc) so objectively I am pretty good looking at the very least, very hot at the most... which almost compounds ...
A. 8 April 2013: Would it be fair to say you are afraid of rejection?
What episodes in your life may have caused you to fear rejection? Have you been rejected before?
When you aspired to become a model, were you not afraid to be rejected? Or were you head hu... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and hopeless with girls!
Q. I'm 22, I am hopeless with girls. I have never been with one and now I am too scared to even try. I am a male model (physique, underwear etc) so objectively I am pretty good looking at the very least, very hot at the most... which almost compounds ...
A. 8 April 2013: No, you said you were terrified to talking to girls. Afraid to go up and speak to them. They will not know your skills in bed just by you talking to them. A woman will not know you are a virgin just by looking at you, she will not think you "tried ... (read in full...)
After sex, liquid came out of me. Was it from me? Or him?
Q. Ok, so me and my ex messed around again and we did it 2 times in one day. The first time he was going really fast before he pulled out, and when I stood up and seat back down I felt some warm, liquid come out of me. Then the second time we did it ...
A. 8 April 2013: But if you are ready for a child then why haven't you found a man to marry, or be in a steady relationship with?
Do you WANT to be a single mother, and were you actively trying for a baby?... (read in full...)
My fiance seems to have no goals or ambition
Q. I'm 24 and my fiance just turned 30. He lives at home with his parents, going to community college for the last 10 years now trying to get his bachelors, and has no work or real relationship experience. His 'income' comes from his parents by working ...
A. 8 April 2013: I have yet another thing to say that I forgot earlier. If you want to know how a man will treat you in the future, look at how he treats his family. This for me has always been correct, yet I have tried to deny it several times. Yet it is so true. ... (read in full...)
My fiance seems to have no goals or ambition
Q. I'm 24 and my fiance just turned 30. He lives at home with his parents, going to community college for the last 10 years now trying to get his bachelors, and has no work or real relationship experience. His 'income' comes from his parents by working ...
A. 8 April 2013: Say what? His parents pay him 20 bucks an hour to do "work around the house"? What exactly do you think this means? If he is supposed to study at the same time, my guess is that this "work around the house" is him sitting on the couch and ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and hopeless with girls!
Q. I'm 22, I am hopeless with girls. I have never been with one and now I am too scared to even try. I am a male model (physique, underwear etc) so objectively I am pretty good looking at the very least, very hot at the most... which almost compounds ...
A. 8 April 2013: Sounds like you are getting closer to the core of your problem here. Why does this terrify you?... (read in full...)
Possible move from nyc to cali without boyfriend
Q. I am looking for some advice... I have been a new yorker for 6 years and have loved my experience here and all the city has to offer. I moved here from graduate school from the south and left all of my friends and family behind. After 6 years of...
A. 7 April 2013: He's not the man for you. After three years together, if he wanted to marry you he'd know by now. Yes, things need to go at their own pace, and I'm not saying he doesn't love you. But if marriage was his goal when it comes to relationships he would ... (read in full...)
Online guy said he loved me and then he was just gone. I haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks!
Q. i'm 27 and i met a guy with the same age in a dating site. we had been talking in skype/ym or fb for almost every night for a month only, seeing each other's pictures and seeing each other in camera. well, he was always saying that he loved me so ...
A. 7 April 2013: Yeah, people who want a fantasy relationship are not uncommon. I've had a man online propose to me without even meeting me, claiming to love me. I told him he can't possibly love me, he doesn't even know who I am. Some people aren't serious, and ... (read in full...)
Should I make my partner be checked for STD before having sex?
Q. Okay, so I'm 15 years old and I was thinking about the future. I'm not planning to have sex anytime soon, but when I am ready, I wanna make sure I'm being safe. I was wondering if it would be weird if I make my future partner have an STD check ...
A. 7 April 2013: Totally appropriate to ask for a STD test. In fact it shows responsibility and that you care for your health AND his.
Any responsible person should ask for a test. I always ask my partners if they have been tested since their last partner.... (read in full...)
What is the best and worst pickup line you've ever heard?
Q. Pickup lines have been used on both men and women. Some are good, some are very, very bad, but we can all agree that they’re pretty funny. Share with us any good or bad ones you've heard. Feel free to list more than one!...
A. 7 April 2013: Worst pick up line ever:
What bra size do you have? (He was 18, and his next line was "I have a car"...)
Most romantic line:
I was visiting this man, and he sat me down on the couch. Then he stroke my chin with his hand, looked me in the e... (read in full...)
Online guy said he loved me and then he was just gone. I haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks!
Q. i'm 27 and i met a guy with the same age in a dating site. we had been talking in skype/ym or fb for almost every night for a month only, seeing each other's pictures and seeing each other in camera. well, he was always saying that he loved me so ...
A. 7 April 2013: I don't think this was real love. Like you said, you can not love someone you never met. I was online dating myself one time, and met a man online. I thought I loved him, but it is true that you only love who you believe they are... You never know ... (read in full...)
The first time sex for me, should I take pain killers?
Q. A guy that I've known since elementary school (we've long since graduated high school)and I started talking again and came to realize we both live in the same neighborhood. So long story short, we've gone out for quite a few months and we'll be ...
A. 7 April 2013: @IamHereToHelpYou, pain killers do not interfere with birth control pills. Antibiotics can interfere with birth control pills (make them less effective), but not pain killers.
I also recommend birth control pills, as long as you've been tested f... (read in full...)
The first time sex for me, should I take pain killers?
Q. A guy that I've known since elementary school (we've long since graduated high school)and I started talking again and came to realize we both live in the same neighborhood. So long story short, we've gone out for quite a few months and we'll be ...
A. 7 April 2013: Oh yeah, and buy a bottle of lubricant. In case you can't get wet enough by yourself. Not all women have enough natural lubricant, which will mean you need to add some store bought. That said, with the right touch I think you will be wet enough.
... (read in full...)
The first time sex for me, should I take pain killers?
Q. A guy that I've known since elementary school (we've long since graduated high school)and I started talking again and came to realize we both live in the same neighborhood. So long story short, we've gone out for quite a few months and we'll be ...
A. 7 April 2013: Don't take pain killes. Take some afterwards if you feel unwell, but I don't see the point in taking them in advance. You might not need them. However I have a friend who got belly aches after having had sex for the first time, and that is a normal ... (read in full...)
It seems anniversaries and her birth day are for her, but my birthday is not a day for me!
Q. This one goes to the ladies out there. To what point should you be considerate of your man? Let's assume it is your man's birthday, how far is a man worth going for? Like I understand in modern day societies it is expected for the man to go above ...
A. 7 April 2013: "Like I understand in modern day societies"
I feel that what you describe here is specific for the USA, not necessarily the rest of the world. Americans have some very.. distinct ideas about gender roles. They aren't into equal rights at all, in ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and hopeless with girls!
Q. I'm 22, I am hopeless with girls. I have never been with one and now I am too scared to even try. I am a male model (physique, underwear etc) so objectively I am pretty good looking at the very least, very hot at the most... which almost compounds ...
A. 7 April 2013: Maybe it helps to tell you then that my boyfriend is quite the male stereotype, yet he was a virgin at 25. He is a handy man who fixes everything. He likes to go hunting. Hes been working as an officer in the army and is now taking higher education ... (read in full...)
After sex, liquid came out of me. Was it from me? Or him?
Q. Ok, so me and my ex messed around again and we did it 2 times in one day. The first time he was going really fast before he pulled out, and when I stood up and seat back down I felt some warm, liquid come out of me. Then the second time we did it ...
A. 7 April 2013: He came inside of you. That was semen. Are you on any form of birth control? You are probably pregnant if you arent on birth control... This is how baabies are made.... (read in full...)
What guy wants an insecure fat girl when he can have a beautiful skinny girl?
Q. So I am quite embarrassed to post my situation here, but I would like to get opinions about my problem. I am 19 years old and being completely honest here, I have never had a boyfriend or even a good guy friend for that matter. I am also overweig...
A. 6 April 2013: What guy wants an insecure fat girl when he can have a beautiful skinny girl?
A man who is in love will take his girl no matter what she looks like. He might like them round and curvy, but if he falls in love with a stick he'll want that stick. H... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and hopeless with girls!
Q. I'm 22, I am hopeless with girls. I have never been with one and now I am too scared to even try. I am a male model (physique, underwear etc) so objectively I am pretty good looking at the very least, very hot at the most... which almost compounds ...
A. 6 April 2013:
If you were the type of person to have sex with a random girl in school then you would have done it and been that person. The fact that you haven't proves that you're NOT that type of person. Yet you think this somehow is not normal, and appa... (read in full...)
Why do people stay such good friends with their ex's?
Q. Hey guys, so I just wanted to kind of share my problem here and see what opinions I get. I'm a young female and have been in about 5 relationships in my life. Weird thing is is that every guy I have ever been involved with seem to still have ...
A. 6 April 2013: Do like me, date men with no previous relationship experience... Hah, or maybe not. They might not have exes lingering around, but they need patience and some "breaking in" to the routine. So having previous relationships might not be a bad thing at ... (read in full...)
Before I grew up I did wild stuff; he wants a threesome
Q. So I was telling my boyfriend of 7 months about my semi-wild past. I've had one night stands and threesoms before, even hooked up with a hand full of girls. Those days are gone, I've grown up and gained self respect for myself. He, on the other ...
A. 6 April 2013: You don't convince him, he ought to know already. But a threesome is not cheating if you agreed to it. Sex with another woman is cheating if he does it behind your back.
Just say no and tell him why. I'm thinking it's not that big of a deal to ... (read in full...)
I need help feeling better about my Almost flat chest! Sometimes it gets me down!
Q. (Btw, I'm in a relationship and I'm happy with my relationship, it's great, and I'm confident and comfortable with my body most days, but some days I'm not) Now that I've got that out of the way... Sometimes I feel confident, but other tim...
A. 5 April 2013: Oh yeah. Get a good bra. I was fine with my boobs, until I discovered I was wearing the wrong size. Then when I got a bra that was the right size I just couldn't stop looking at my boobs in admiration. It was amazing.
Get a good bra. Get someone ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of ending my 2 years relationship. I think its just time to let go.
Q. Hi everyone. Lately I have been thinking about ending my two year relationship with a really amazing guy. I just feel like at this point in life he will be better off without me and could be happier. I don't want to break up with him because I love ...
A. 5 April 2013: There's nothing insulting about suggesting therapy. I suggest therapy quite often to people, because I know it helps. I've been in therapy myself on two different occasions. Not that therapy in itself is a fix for anything, but it helps. You are ... (read in full...)
I'm Atheist and dating a Christian man. Are we likely incompatible?
Q. I've been friends with this guy since I was 17 (We are both 22 now). Although we lost touch after high school graduation, we recently met again for dinner and coffee. Surprisingly it wasn't awkward like I thought it might be. We had a wonderful ...
A. 5 April 2013: Does he know you are atheist? There's a difference between being non-religious/on the fence/agnostic and being atheist. Being atheist means you reject all the things he believe in... Yes, to me that would be a big problem. If he truly is religious ... (read in full...)
I'm a struggling army girlfriend who feels like I'm giving 80 percent and he's giving 20!
Q. My boyfriend of 2and a half years is in his advance infantry training in the army right now it's been 4 months since he left and i have only got to see him 2 days out of all of that and I still have 4 months to go. This is the hardest thing I have ...
A. 5 April 2013: Hang in there, and stop giving 80% when he's not there to receive more than 4% anyway. You talk briefly on the phone, well it is good you keep the contact. But how much lovey dovey and relationship chit chatter can you really squize out of a few ... (read in full...)
I need help feeling better about my Almost flat chest! Sometimes it gets me down!
Q. (Btw, I'm in a relationship and I'm happy with my relationship, it's great, and I'm confident and comfortable with my body most days, but some days I'm not) Now that I've got that out of the way... Sometimes I feel confident, but other tim...
A. 5 April 2013: Do you know that when you look at yourself in the mirror you don't look at yourself objectively?
Do you also know that when others look at you, they most certainly do not see the same that you see?
I was one of the few "lucky" girls to... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my penis size and it's getting in the way of my relationship
Q. I dont wanna write an essay but i feel as though i need to fill you guys in all the details. I've been dating my girl for over a year now. We've known eachother for 13 years. She says shes the happiest shes ever been and so am I. We are very muc...
A. 5 April 2013: Now you're crossing into different territory and this isn't about concern for your penis size any longer.
To me this sounds like a classic case of putting a girl on a pedestal. You knew her as a friend for 13 years, so thought you knew who she ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend got me a job where he works but tells me I am not to acknowledge him in any way
Q. Dear Cupid I was in a layoff situation, and my bf (of 3 years) told me he can find some position in his company and he did and i got a job there through his recommandation. His work collegues does not know im his gf which is fine with me. Bu...
A. 4 April 2013: He probably had to lie about why he recommended you. It's not a great recommendation if he said "give her a job because she's my girlfriend". He probably worked you up and said a lot of great things about you, and my guess is that if he said you ... (read in full...)
I introduced my boyfriend to porn. Boy am I ever sorry!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together over a year we are both very serious about each other. Our Sex is phenomenal and no matter what we are going through Sex is always that one thing that we have that just made everything better. until about three ...
A. 4 April 2013: What does he say when you point out that he keeps doing it? Is he unaware of what it is that bothers you? Does he not know you want him to stop?
Sometimes we think we have told someone how we feel, but if the message isn't crystal clear there wi... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, we're engaged and yet I feel like we are hitting rock bottom
Q. I'm twenty, and my fiance is 24 now. We've been living together and been together for two years plus. The first six months we've been living together, things were amazing. He wasn't afraid of PDA, kissing, hugging, he wanted to cuddle a lot, we had ...
A. 4 April 2013: I think I need to leave you a more positive ending, or else things will just look too dark.
You'll still have your boat, and there's still going to be loads of water to float on. And your end goal is still there. The only thing that needs to... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, we're engaged and yet I feel like we are hitting rock bottom
Q. I'm twenty, and my fiance is 24 now. We've been living together and been together for two years plus. The first six months we've been living together, things were amazing. He wasn't afraid of PDA, kissing, hugging, he wanted to cuddle a lot, we had ...
A. 4 April 2013: You're not willing to lose him, that is evident. Because no matter how hard he pushes you away, you just cling to him even more tightly. It's like he's air, and you feel you can't breathe without him.
I worry that your need to be with him is c... (read in full...)
I introduced my boyfriend to porn. Boy am I ever sorry!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together over a year we are both very serious about each other. Our Sex is phenomenal and no matter what we are going through Sex is always that one thing that we have that just made everything better. until about three ...
A. 4 April 2013: Unless your man lived on an isolated island with no electricity before he met you.. you hardly introduced him to porn. So don't blame yourself. You suggested to try it, and he thinks it's a great idea to masturbate before sex.
Forget about th... (read in full...)
I have always been conscious of how my vagina looks, and now my boyfriend has insulted the way it looks! How do I overcome this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year now, we've had sex, taken part in oral sex on both parts. But the other day we had just had penetrative sex, so I was just led on the bed naked my legs slightly apart on my front, dozing slightly. ...
A. 3 April 2013: Don't take what he says seriously. Men often put their foot in their mouth. What would the world come to if every woman took a mans every word seriously?
He was just thinking out loud and not thinking at all. Happens all the time.
Women d... (read in full...)
Everyone tells me I'm a good catch but girls wont come near me! What am I doing wrong?
Q. I am a good looking, successful and nice guy. I dress nice, smell nice and act confident. I am a college soccer player, run by own business and I'm in pretty good shape from playing soccer. Im not extremely good looking but im not ugly either. I ...
A. 3 April 2013: What are you doing wrong? You stand around as wall decoration at parties and expect girls to hit on you, that's what you do wrong. Don't you know that guys are supposed to chat up the girls? Yes yes, I know about equality and all that, but still. To ... (read in full...)
Is it a mistake to become friends with a girl you like instead of making a move on her?
Q. Just a quick question. If you like this girl and you suspect she likes you back, you don't make a move for romance and instead become friends. Can that take away any feelings she might have had for me and does it ruin any chance I'd ever have to get ...
A. 3 April 2013: Yes, you made a mistake. If you like her as more than friends don't be a fake and pretend you want just friendship. Instead be honest and make a move on her for a relationship.
However, becoming friends doesn't ruin your chances at a relation... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my penis size and it's getting in the way of my relationship
Q. I dont wanna write an essay but i feel as though i need to fill you guys in all the details. I've been dating my girl for over a year now. We've known eachother for 13 years. She says shes the happiest shes ever been and so am I. We are very muc...
A. 3 April 2013: "I'd do or give anything to fix these feelings of insecurity or judgement or what ever u wanna call it."
Then you need to stop prying into her past sexlife. If knowing makes you feel bad, don't ask!
It is crazy to think you should have the ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my penis size and it's getting in the way of my relationship
Q. I dont wanna write an essay but i feel as though i need to fill you guys in all the details. I've been dating my girl for over a year now. We've known eachother for 13 years. She says shes the happiest shes ever been and so am I. We are very muc...
A. 3 April 2013: I have good news for you, and bad news. Lets start with the bad news, which is that it was a terrible idea to be "open" about sexual past. You're not being open at all, the two of you are sharing intimate details that are veryspecific and personal, ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to allow my boyfriend to sleep with other girls while I'm away at College?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm eighteen years old and about to go to college. The problem is that my boyfriend doesn't want me to go, because he hasn't finished high school yet. I think it will take him three years to finish, and I don't want to go to a communit...
A. 1 April 2013: Its a terrible idea. Either you stay together 100% and no affairs, or you break up. I think it would be best for you two to break up, since you expect that neither of you are capable or interested in being faithful. Either you are together or you ... (read in full...)
Bleeding after sex an she is no virgin and neither is her periods due?
Q. My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time last night. It was my first time ever, not so much hers. After maybe 10 minutes, I pulled out cuz I felt myself slipping, and I wanted to change positions. When I pulled out, the condom brushed a...
A. 26 March 2013: Time for a check-up!... (read in full...)
Do I study something I love or do I study something more pragmatic?
Q. Hey, I have a question. I have been a bar manager for years and right now I am studying by correspondence for two qualifications in management, one of them is a BTS (French qualification equivalent to the first two years of a bachelor's degree) and ...
A. 26 March 2013: Pragmatic. You can always study what you love in your spare time. And you might even tire from it, and find it uninteresting in the future. So go with something more down to earth. Perhaps the two can be combined in the future somehow.... (read in full...)
My husband won't allow my son to move in with us!
Q. I am just one year and half in marriage. I actually told my husband that I had 2 kids for different men before we married. But now one of my kids dad has ask me to come and take my son to leave with me because his wife is maltreating my son. I told ...
A. 25 March 2013: Divorce.
You know what you need to do, you can't live like this. As sad as it is, your husband is not a man you can live with and share your life with.
I also think the father of your son needs to take a grip on his relationship too... (read in full...)
Bleeding after sex an she is no virgin and neither is her periods due?
Q. My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time last night. It was my first time ever, not so much hers. After maybe 10 minutes, I pulled out cuz I felt myself slipping, and I wanted to change positions. When I pulled out, the condom brushed a...
A. 25 March 2013: Instead of fantasizing about how big your penis is, how about you tell us if she was in pain or not? If she didn't feel pain then no.. your penis didn't cause this. If she WAS in pain, then it is likely she could have bled from it, but hardly enough ... (read in full...)
How can you tell if your 16 year old daughter is having sex?
Q. How do you know if your 16 old is having sex she say she not but how can you tall? ...
A. 25 March 2013: Take the to the gynecologist? But that seems really harsh and quite frankly crossing some borders. Why do you need to know? If you want to make sure she doesn't get pregnant make an agreement for her to use birth control. Don't be a parent wh... (read in full...)
I told him this was just for fun but he has fallen in love with me, how do I end the relationship?
Q. I have been with this guy for the past 5 months, (please do not judge me), I have always been upfront with him and told him that I do not love him but cared about him. I have told him about my childhood abuse and previous bad relationships fa...
A. 25 March 2013: "I have told him about my childhood abuse and previous bad relationships failures, some of them due to me or 50/50 blame on both sides for breakups."
If it's only for fun, you shouldn't open up like that to him. So for the future: if it's just for... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
