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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Is it normal to have fantasies about being anally raped?
Q. I'm just your normal, every day 17 year old girl. Sometimes I like to read erotic stories online. About two months ago, I stumbled upon this story where a teenage boy forced himself onto his sister, anally. I don't know why, but this turned me on ...
A. 3 September 2013: Interesting to hear back from you after so long, and glad you found the advice helpful. I feel like I have to defend HOneypie a little though. Everyone needs to assume a bit when giving answers online, just because there is too little information to ... (read in full...)
Are there guys that wait till marriage?
Q. Are there virgin guys out there that want to wait till marriage with someone they really love? I feel very disappointed and alone when all I see is jerky guys and pregnant teens. People are so slutty and cold hearted these days. ...
A. 14 March 2013: Pretty sure there are tons of people who wait, but mostly if they are religious. There might be those who are virgins just because they happened to not find someone they wanted to sleep with yet, but they wouldn't necessarily be willing to wait ... (read in full...)
Is there some way for me to be with both of them? She is the girl of my dreams. But now I have fallen in love with a guy.
Q. I have been in a relationship with the girl of my Dreams and i love her so much. But i met a guy that i have also fallen head over heels for him. What should i do? I love them both so much. Is there some way for me to be with both of them?...
A. 13 March 2013: You can't be with both of them unless they want to share. But few people are interested in sharing.
I guess you just need to decide on who you want to be with. But, if you can't make up your mind I would say you shouldn't be with either of them.... (read in full...)
My Bf claims a supportive girlfriend would stay awake with him everytime he can't sleep, How can I best support him?
Q. Hi all, my problem is simple I need to know how to stay awake even when I'm really tired. My boyfriend has trouble sleeping and I really don't understand it because he says he can never sleep but by the time I wake up he's swaying back and forth a...
A. 13 March 2013: "He claimed a supportive girlfriend would stay awake with him everytime he can't sleep"
He's wrong. A supportive boyfriend would let his girlfriend sleep and not make his problems somehow her problems.
You're being supportive, but he's being i... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says four is too many guys to have been intimate with. He broke up with me
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. Few hours later we decided to make it a short break of 2 days or so just to take some time off. The reason why that happened? I told him that I have been intimate with four guys before we met(We are in a ...
A. 12 March 2013: Move on. This isn't the guy for you, and he'll never make you happy. Never. You're clinging to him for reasons of your own, but the reality is he doesn't want you. And how can someone who doesn't want you possibly make you happy?
There's nothing ... (read in full...)
Would you continue with a guy after he told you he has genital herpes?
Q. So if you meet a guy that your falling in love someone you can see yourself with for a long time...would you still be with him after he told you he has gental herpes? Just need your thoughts and honest answer I don't want to be shallow because he is ...
A. 11 March 2013: PS. It shows a level of maturity for him to be upfront with you about this. It tells me he takes you and his condition seriously, and is responsible. ... (read in full...)
Would you continue with a guy after he told you he has genital herpes?
Q. So if you meet a guy that your falling in love someone you can see yourself with for a long time...would you still be with him after he told you he has gental herpes? Just need your thoughts and honest answer I don't want to be shallow because he is ...
A. 11 March 2013: I think I'd continue with him. Or, actually, I know I would. I'd just wear condoms and be careful (condoms even for oral sex!). Or wait with sex until you have been dating a while and know that this is the guy for you.
Genital herpes, after al... (read in full...)
Fiance did something stupid to "intentially hurt my feelings?"
Q. I've been with my FI for 4 years, newly engaged about a month ago. Living separately with our families for now, until I finish school next month. My FI is usually very sensitive and never did anything in the past to intentially hurt my feelings...
A. 11 March 2013: "I thought we were growing, and moving forward in our relationship! If he felt hurt that I didn't call him last weekend, why would he bottle it in, and then plan a vendetta against me to get back at me? That feels so cruel, and immature!"
You'r... (read in full...)
He wants to get married this summer but I think we are moving too fast
Q. my boyfriend(26) and i(20) have been dating for about 4 months and we are engaged. why so fast? partially because of religious rules in my family where "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationships aren't allowed, yes I am well aware that I am old enough to ...
A. 11 March 2013: Sorry, didn't see your followup.
Yet you can still read my main points and the message is the same. Too many red flags, poor communication, too much baggage.. and I really don't think this man knows what he wants more than a day ahead.
Your... (read in full...)
He wants to get married this summer but I think we are moving too fast
Q. my boyfriend(26) and i(20) have been dating for about 4 months and we are engaged. why so fast? partially because of religious rules in my family where "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationships aren't allowed, yes I am well aware that I am old enough to ...
A. 11 March 2013: I think this is a bad idea. I'm sure you love him, but so far you love only what you've seen up to this point. And already big secrets are being revealed. And strange 2miscommunications". It's really difficult to misunderstand "My ex girlfriend and ... (read in full...)
Should I say hello to my ex BF's close friend? I found out he got so many hobbies and lifestyle similar to me
Q. I know this is crazy and hardly to be acceptable. He is my ex boyfriend's close friend. Should I say hello and seek acquaintance with him? I have just got broken with my ex since last week. But, here are some points to consider about my case: 1. I h...
A. 11 March 2013: WAIT! It's just been a week since you and your ex broke up. Wait a bit longer before you make contact with the best friend.
I have sort of been in your situation, and it's not impossible for this to work out. Some years ago I broke up with my ... (read in full...)
She masturbated... without me!
Q. Should I be upset about this? Basically, my girlfriend and I had not had sex for almost 5 days. While we had never really agreed to not masturbate before our next time in bed, we had talked about doing something like that before. (We have sex a ...
A. 11 March 2013: If there wasn't an agreement to withhold masturbation then why did she "confess" to you that she "gave in" as she put it? If there was no mutual agreement between the two of you to not masturbate then she wouldn't be "giving in", she'd just be ... (read in full...)
I just want to find a girl for myself. Is this not possible?
Q. I have been trying to find someone to be with for the last six years and sadly it has never worked out. I have tried dating several females during this time but it never seems to go right,I caught the first girl cheating on me with four other ...
A. 11 March 2013: Ehr.. Well, we're not magic crystal balls. We can't say if you're going to find someone or not, but obviously it's not like you NEVER found anyone. You just didn't find someone to stay with for a longer period of time. But what are you looking for? ... (read in full...)
Do you have to look like a porn star to get your boyfriend to masturbate over you?
Q. I've heard some men masturbate over their own girlfriends. Some don't. Do you have to look like a pornstar and be really hot before your boyfriend will masturbate to thoughts of you instead of porn?...
A. 10 March 2013: Define the looks of a "porn star". Then look up some porn online... do they look like your definition? Yes, your boyfriend has to be sexually attracted to you in order for him to masturbate to your image... But if he wasn't sexually attract... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has been treating me differently ever since I told her that I wear a wig
Q. Hi, I'm a very good looking guy,I'm the lead guitarist for the university,I also play for the college football ..don't juge I'm saying this because I have a secret which will make people think I'm fakee.. I always got the women I wanted and now I...
A. 10 March 2013: How long have you been with her? How many days have passed since you told her?
Give her a moment to react. Doesn't sound like she's reacting at all, nor positive nor negative. Yet you are insecure, so you interpret it as a negative reaction... (read in full...)
Do guys even like small boobs?
Q. Hi. I'm 15 and my boobs are really small. Like 34A. I get teased about it a lot and I feel really bad about how I look. ?? Do guys even like small boobs? Why do they like big ones so much anyways? ...
A. 10 March 2013: They don't like big ones any more than they like small ones. Of course, there'll always be one guy who has a general preference for one or the other, but in total, they like breast... No matter size or shape.
If you get bullied, or picked o... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's reluctance to add me to Facebook has made me suspicious
Q. I never thought I would be writing to DearCupid about this kind of question. Usually when I see questions about facebook, my advice is to just get over it because it's just facebook. Relationsips shouldn't be based on what he/she liked on someone ...
A. 10 March 2013: "Chigirl, if she wasn't hiding anything, why ANY reluctance at all? "
I explained why to you, in depth. Read my answer again, but in short: one reason may be that she doesn't want to include you in every part of her life. She wants somethin... (read in full...)
Do you think unwanted sexual fantasy can be caused by distress?
Q. Hey guys, Here's the deal. I'm 27, have always loved, adored, and fantasized about women. I've also been incredibly insecure, especially around women, and since I moved in with my woman about 1 1/2 years ago, I've been increasingly hav...
A. 10 March 2013: I think its a phase.... (read in full...)
The man I've become friendly with has custody of his traumatized niece. Where do I fit in here?
Q. Hey everyone, On the surface this may seem like another question about dating a guy with a kid. This is a bit different, however. I moved into a new place and I'm lucky to have great neighbors. One of my neighbors is a guy who's 7 years...
A. 9 March 2013: Give it more time and be patient. If you get tired and sad because things don't seem to move forward, don't show it. Be as patient as you possibly can, and when your patience is out hide it until you've gained some more patience. This will take a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's reluctance to add me to Facebook has made me suspicious
Q. I never thought I would be writing to DearCupid about this kind of question. Usually when I see questions about facebook, my advice is to just get over it because it's just facebook. Relationsips shouldn't be based on what he/she liked on someone ...
A. 9 March 2013: You've got no reason to suspect she's two-timing you. All you are concerned about now is her not wanting you on facebook. There's nothing else to incline she's hiding anything.
What could she possibly be hiding on facebook? Everyone else she's go... (read in full...)
Wanting to try a tampon for the first time.
Q. I'm going to the spring fling tomorrow and I'm on my period. I've never worn a tampon before but I feel like it would be a good idea to wear one instead of a pad. should I wear a tampon even though I'venever worn one before? I just want to do the ...
A. 9 March 2013: There's a first time for everything, and if no one ever worn tampons unless they've used them before then no one would ever wear tampons.
But do yourself a favour and try one out a day BEFORE you go to this thing. And try the smallest tampon f... (read in full...)
Do you think unwanted sexual fantasy can be caused by distress?
Q. Hey guys, Here's the deal. I'm 27, have always loved, adored, and fantasized about women. I've also been incredibly insecure, especially around women, and since I moved in with my woman about 1 1/2 years ago, I've been increasingly hav...
A. 9 March 2013: I think you should listen to your therapist.
And, listen to me on this one: if you're no gay you're not gay, no matter how many sexual fantasies you have about men. Don't let dreams or fantasies freak you out, they aren't ever meant to be taken li... (read in full...)
Did I give the impression that I was just too Easy?
Q. Did I come off as easy? I went over to the house of a guy I like and gave him oral (I was on my period) after he started making out with me. We never had any proper dates, but we had been flirting over the past couple of weeks and we hung out a fe...
A. 9 March 2013: Easy. If he's not your boyfriend you don't do favours like that. Simple and easy. Not a boyfriend = no sex. Not even a kiss. If he wants the fun he needs to sign up for the full package deal. Unless all YOU want is random fun and one night... (read in full...)
Would you attempt to ask out a shy guy like this?
Q. I have a crush on my daughter’s teacher, I have posted a question before asking how I would get him to ask me out, but with several attempts I have noticed it is going to be a lot harder because he has all the traits of a VERY shy guy. He acts like ...
A. 9 March 2013: I rather think you ought to be direct and just ask him. My experience with shy guys is that they are also hopelessly clueless, and can't take a hint. You got to be direct, or else they wont understand what you're aiming at.
Just tell him you thin... (read in full...)
Housemates being horrible. Should I confront them about the way they are behaving towards me? What would be the best way to deal with their continual disrespect towards me?
Q. I'm in my third year at university and this year I moved in with a new group of people as my female flatmates from last year went on years abroad. One of my friends from a sports club was looking for one last person to fill a really nice house he...
A. 9 March 2013: You don't. You just move out and let them continue with what they're doing, it's no longer a concern of yours. You can't get along with everyone, and it's clear that there's a negative group mentality here that decided to freeze you out. Like you ... (read in full...)
My Bf tried to make love to me for the first time. How can I help him relax better next time?
Q. Two nights ago, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was my first time ever having sex, but it wasn't his. Prior to the other night, we talked about having sex before and we basically decided that it will happen when it happens....
A. 9 March 2013: Listen, you got to stop thinking it's all about HIM. You'll never have a decent sex life if you don't start focusing on yourself.
As for him being more relaxed the next time? Don't sweat it, he'll get relaxed by himself as long as you just kee... (read in full...)
I overhear people saying 'why is she with him' because I'm just an average guy whereas she is beautiful inside and out, should I ask my girlfriend what she saw in me?
Q. I have been dating this beautiful girl for abt a year now!she's nice,kinda,a well educated woman she's working at a hospital..she's beautiful not only on the outside but also the inside and that's what attracted me to her! But the only thing that ...
A. 8 March 2013: Next time you overhear them, just say "wouldn't you want to know" with a smirk. That'll leave them wondering.
Listen, if you don't know what she sees in you after a year of being with her then maybe she's not that great at telling you. Or maybe... (read in full...)
Why am I moving so slow in our relationship?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend going on 18 months. We've had our ups and downs but at the moment the concern is lack of progression in our relationship. She feels that we should be close to moving in together by now, like all her girlfriend friend's ...
A. 6 March 2013: The parents: I don't think any of my boyfriends ever met my father. Not even the man I was engaged to once met him. But I did introduce them to my mother and my brother and my aunt and everyone else, because I was proud of them, in love, and wanted ... (read in full...)
Is there one person that would turn straight for, even if for just one date?
Q. This question was kinda inspired by my friend. She was telling me how this chick she saw was so attractive she would turn lesbian for her, and she is currently in a hetero relationship so obviously she didn't turn lol :) What I was wondering fo...
A. 5 March 2013: I had a boyfriend once who met a good friend of mine, and then afterwards told me he'd turn gay for him.
Although, I'm thinking your friend said this more of a joke, and not sincerely. But one date I'm sure she'd turn "gay" or "straight" to have,... (read in full...)
Would you marry a guy who never went to college?
Q. Currently less than 40% of men will graduate from college, that's 140 women with college degrees for ever 100 men with a degree. at best its expected to get worse, on top of that jobs traditionally held predominantly by men are evaporating at an ...
A. 5 March 2013: I'd marry a man without an education, and I'd even marry a man with a so-so job, but I'd NOT marry a man who didn't have a good work ethic. He needs to be hard working and not lazy, otherwise I can not respect him. But what he does, and whether he ... (read in full...)
Have you ever regretted your first time?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. Have you ever regretted your 'first time'? I'm a 17, soon to be 18, year old dude that is thinking about losing his virginity. When I hit puberty i never virginity or sex in particular was ever going to be a concern...
A. 5 March 2013: Listen, you've barely hit the age where you're even allowed to have sex legally. So why the worry now? Why the concern? You've just started the race, and already you are worried you'll never finish. Just sit back and chill, you're not a late ... (read in full...)
If my girlfriend was fooling around with another girl should I forgive her?
Q. Hey, really don't know what to do, so for the first time in my life am asking a message board for answers. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 and half years of bliss! I really couldn't have asked for a kinder sweeter girl, especially...
A. 4 March 2013: "she loved music, she was into working out, and she was also a bisexual (see where this is going?)"
No, not really, as tons of girls who are straight kiss each other too... In addition I have several bisexual friends and we don't all go around h... (read in full...)
Is my friend's way of dealing with a break up the right way? Or could she be making things worse for her?
Q. I know it's an odd thing to ask, but my friend is trying to deal with a really bad break up and she's going about it in a really unusual way! She said instead of thinking what she did wrong, or wondering what happened and missing him and thinking...
A. 3 March 2013: I think it's unhealthy to pine after someone you can't have. So realizing she can't have him, because he doesn't want her, is really good. It takes her two steps ahead in getting over him, because sooner or later, even after whining and crying and ... (read in full...)
I don't think I've ever had an orgasm but I make alot of noise. Is this wrong?
Q. Hey all, So whenever I have sex or fool around with my boyfriend, I moan. Alot. Soetimes I even scream I'm a very talkative person in general, so I don't know if that's part of it. Because the thing is, I moan with pleasure, but I don't have an ...
A. 2 March 2013: No, girls don't moan just to fake orgasms. Some do is as part of faking an orgasm, sure. But I'm quite sure women in general moan when they are feeling pleasure.
When you have an orgasm you feel pleasure, so you will moan and make sounds then too... (read in full...)
Acne is getting me down..does anyone have any advice?
Q. Hi. I'm an 18 year old girl who has suffered with quite severe acne since I was 11. I have dry skin, scars on my cheeks from previous acne and the majority of my acne is on my cheeks, chin and jawline. I know that wearing make-up doesn't help ata...
A. 2 March 2013: Oh, never mind that "makeup clogs up pores" crap. Yes, it clogs up pores. But so does sweat, so you might as well say no one should ever work out or break a sweat because it "clogs up pores".
Oh no, you just wear make-up without a worry. What's i... (read in full...)
Should I get the morning after pill? Or am I just being silly?
Q. I had sex on Wednsday night, I'm almost 100% certain we used a condom but I cant be certain as we had both been drinking. My period started today but I'm still worrying about being pregnant although the chances are really slim . I'm thinking of ...
A. 1 March 2013: Its too late for the pill now... And yes, you should have taken it. Consider tha alternative if youre not "just being silly", you would just be pregnant instead. Buy the morning after pill, read the leaflet, and then keep it for next time you cant ... (read in full...)
Should I accept being the messenger between my divorced parents or should I just put my foot down and refuse to get involved? And how do I deal with my fathers behavior?
Q. I'm going crazy. My parents divorced (not officially yet) a month ago, and they both expect me to be the messenger between them. When they separated, my mom told me some things that I felt were very hurtful, so I didn't feel the need to talk to ...
A. 1 March 2013: "I was shocked! I told him it was not my duty, but he told me he doesn't want to have any connection to her! "
Tell him "Too bad, you married her, you divorced her, and you have kids with her. You HAVE to have contact with her, and I certainl... (read in full...)
Can I find a virgin woman?
Q. Hai, am 27 year old virgin guy, am a christian and i do not believe in premarital sex. Many women dont believe me because am quite succesful and goodlooking, my question is, is it wrong for me to ask a woman if shes a virgin? Am looking for a ...
A. 1 March 2013: I think it's perfectly fine to ask, and no one can be offended if you explain why you ask. You have to tell them why you ask, or else it's actually offensive as it's really none of your business. But if you are intending to date, you should make it ... (read in full...)
Now that she's got a boyfriend, she doesn't shut up about him!
Q. Hello everyone I have a very good friend and she recently got into a relationship with her boyfriend but now that she's with him she doesn't shut up about him! How can I politely tell her to stop talking about him so much. Practically every time we ...
A. 28 February 2013: Oh let her be. When you first enter a relationship you wont be able to shut up about it either. It's one of the things one does when in love and it's new and fresh. They're always on your mind and you can't stop thinking about them, and you want to ... (read in full...)
My g/f blocked me on fb so her parents can't see my comments?
Q. we've been dating about one and a half years my girlfriend blocked me on facebook and told me it's because her family won't stop giving her crap about us and she's just sick of dealing with it she said it's like her parents can see things i pos...
A. 28 February 2013: It's FACEBOOK. 'Nuff said.... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin. But due to my thoughts I'm worried that I might be becoming a sex addict. Should I be concerned?
Q. Im 17 I'm a junior in high school and I have a problem. My prob is I think I might be a sex addict....so here's the catch: I'm still a virgin. I have never gone farther than making out and even that I have only done that two times. Both with t...
A. 28 February 2013: You're over thinking this.
And, reading about something is VERY different from actually doing it. You're just a young, eager, hormone ridden teenager. All teenagers think about sex. Granted, teenage girls tend to think about babies, and shown in... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have fantasies about being anally raped?
Q. I'm just your normal, every day 17 year old girl. Sometimes I like to read erotic stories online. About two months ago, I stumbled upon this story where a teenage boy forced himself onto his sister, anally. I don't know why, but this turned me on ...
A. 28 February 2013: Yes, you're normal. It is totally normal to have sexual fantasies. Everyone has sexual fantasies. Not everyone fantasize about the same thing, we each have our preferences. But in general, people do like to think about non-realistic fantasies. It's ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
