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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I told him this was just for fun but he has fallen in love with me, how do I end the relationship?
Q. I have been with this guy for the past 5 months, (please do not judge me), I have always been upfront with him and told him that I do not love him but cared about him. I have told him about my childhood abuse and previous bad relationships fa...
A. 25 March 2013: "I have told him about my childhood abuse and previous bad relationships failures, some of them due to me or 50/50 blame on both sides for breakups."
If it's only for fun, you shouldn't open up like that to him. So for the future: if it's just for... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable for me to tell my wife to stop kissing other men on the lips?
Q. I really do not like it when other men kiss my wife on the lips. These are friends - just 2 or so. They do it as a greeting, when, for example, we first meet up for the night, and then again when we say good bye. I am fairly certain it has nothing ...
A. 25 March 2013: I have one close female friend who I just on the rare occasion kiss on the lips as a greeting or good-bye. But I know several mothers who kiss their children on the lips... So a simple peck on the lips isn't sexual really. I also like to keep thi... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny guys?
Q. I'm a skinny lad and I was wondering is this a turn-off? I mean I know some girls like guys to be teddy bears but is there really any market for us skinny guys? I'm 5'11"/180 cm and 143 pounds/64 kg and feel as though I'm not bulky enough for women ...
A. 24 March 2013: Btw my boyfriend is 178 cm or so, and just hit 70 kg a few months ago. He was thrilled to finally have gained some weight. ... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny guys?
Q. I'm a skinny lad and I was wondering is this a turn-off? I mean I know some girls like guys to be teddy bears but is there really any market for us skinny guys? I'm 5'11"/180 cm and 143 pounds/64 kg and feel as though I'm not bulky enough for women ...
A. 24 March 2013: I don't need a man to protect me, but I do need him to be able to lift more weight than I do.
Work out. I don't mind thin men, but skinny is a sign that you're not taking care of your health. Same as if a man is fat, it's also a sign he's not... (read in full...)
What's the difference between your "one true love" and your "first love"? Does everyone have a "one true love"?
Q. Everyone talks about their one true love and things like that, so is it common that most people? Will most people have a true love and a first love? What's the difference? Is it like (not the best simile I know) your first car say? You reme...
A. 24 March 2013: The only people who judge you for being in the same relationship for 5 years are those who envy you. Believe me, most would love to find an amazing partner to have a long ter, loving relationship with on first try. Most have to go through years and ... (read in full...)
I want a healthy relationship, so why am I attracted to unattainable or unavailable older or married men? How can I stop doing this?
Q. I have a major problem and I have no idea how to fix this. I am only attracted to older men I can't have. For example, people in authority or married men. I don't express this to them and I end up beating myself up about it. I haven't been in a re...
A. 24 March 2013:
You are attracted to taken and unavailable men because by turning to them you never have to take the risk of actually having a real relationship. You're scared of finding a decent, available man who you will love, who you will have a happy rela... (read in full...)
Will you let go of your cat you love if your mate has a terrifying phobia?
Q. I am interested in pursuing a relationship with a good friend of mine. We were once in a romantic relationship that ended because of the distance but now we realize we can't do without each other. He is planning to move down here with me so we ca...
A. 24 March 2013: You need to compromise.
You can get rid of the cat if he enters therapy to deal with his phobia.
Then perhaps give the cat away to someone you know will take good care of it. People do come over animals. But ridiculous requests do not ... (read in full...)
My Mom only wanted to help. Now my Dad has been diagnosed with sleep apnoea she feels she's ruined his life. What can be done to make this better?
Q. Help my dad has been diagnosed with border line sleep apnoea. My mom made him get checked out as he would stop breathing in the night. Now he has to wear a mask in bed for the rest of his life. My mom is upset and feels my dad hates her for it....
A. 24 March 2013: ... There's a reason why he has to wear the mask. How about you read up on why he has to wear it, and then remind your mother about this?
Also, how about asking your father how he feels about it all? Your mother couldn't FORCE your father go go ge... (read in full...)
What's the difference between your "one true love" and your "first love"? Does everyone have a "one true love"?
Q. Everyone talks about their one true love and things like that, so is it common that most people? Will most people have a true love and a first love? What's the difference? Is it like (not the best simile I know) your first car say? You reme...
A. 24 March 2013: I don't think these are universal terms, I've never heard talk of any of these. Perhaps they're just popular ways to describe the person you're with?
To me, when someone says "true love" it sounds like they want to justify their past. Such as.... (read in full...)
My body doesn't even get ready for sex anymore, I can't orgasm!
Q. Basically i have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, hes wonderful and i love him very much, we live together and we plan to get engaged soon. We lost our virginity to eachother and for the first few times we had sex i orgasmed (both clitorus ...
A. 23 March 2013: If you're not able to bring yourself to an orgasm then that's what you need to focus on and practice. You said you can make yourself cum, but not orgasm? What does it mean? Either you can make yourself orgasm or you can't, there's no half orgasms. ... (read in full...)
Pre-occupied with the fear that I might have HPV
Q. Hi there, Hmm I don’t know how to start this off it is probably going to sound crazy, but anyway when I was younger I went off of the rails I suppose and was incredibly naïve, so much so I ended up having unprotected sex with two rather questiona...
A. 22 March 2013: You had unprotected sex with two guys? Oh jeez, well let me tell you, that's nothing at all. You're far far far far (you get my point) away from being anywhere near stupid or naive. Tons of people have unprotected sex, and if thats a mistake then ... (read in full...)
How do I confess to my wife and my children that I have had countless affairs and 3 children came from these affairs?
Q. im not in the best of health and im trying to find the lord and confess my sins. just not sure how to tell my wife who im separated from that i wasnt as innocent as she thought. we got married in the military had a son and daughter and i let her ...
A. 22 March 2013: I gave this some thought. You need to decide how you want to tell them, but my thoughts are that whatever way you tell them... you should tell them. I don't care so much for telling your ex wife, perhaps ignorance will be bliss for her. But your ... (read in full...)
What is it going to be like when I have sex? Do men get more pleasure out of it than women?
Q. i feel really strange asking this and a bit odd, but i dont know were else i can get the answers im looking for. so im 18 and ive never had sex. i do masterbate ( sorry if this is uncomfortable for you, you dont have to read all the way through)...
A. 22 March 2013: It's just as pleasurable for men as it is for women. And masturbating is nice and pleasurable, but it is very different from having sex with someone you love.
When you masturbate, don't do things that hurt you! It's not like you're "suppose... (read in full...)
Don't want a serious relationship, but is casual so bad?
Q. Over my last break up but no longer want anything serious as its not the right time in my life. Is wanting something casual a bad thing? Like a sort of friends with benefit thing? ...
A. 21 March 2013: Btw, I've casually dates so I know what you mean and how this works. A good tip is to go for guys who are only staying temporarily, like on holiday or for study. Then you know they will leave and you both know it will not be anything serious, just ... (read in full...)
Don't want a serious relationship, but is casual so bad?
Q. Over my last break up but no longer want anything serious as its not the right time in my life. Is wanting something casual a bad thing? Like a sort of friends with benefit thing? ...
A. 21 March 2013: Casual dating is NOT friends with benefits. Avoid sleeping with any of your friends, unless you want to no longer be their friend. Friends + sex = no longer friends. But you can do casual dating, and it's not a bad thing at all. You just go alon... (read in full...)
Why won't my partner give me blowjobs?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 8 years and she has never giving me a proper blowjob, and by proper I mean that she has never gotten me off while doing it. She rarely goes down on me, and I mean rarely, I'm taking once every year or two. And ...
A. 21 March 2013: Leave her then. She obviously doesn't want to give you blowjobs, for whatever reason. It isn't your fault, but some people dislike oral sex. Either way, it's an issue SHE has, and not something you did. The reasons she "makes up" might very well be ... (read in full...)
My body doesn't even get ready for sex anymore, I can't orgasm!
Q. Basically i have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, hes wonderful and i love him very much, we live together and we plan to get engaged soon. We lost our virginity to eachother and for the first few times we had sex i orgasmed (both clitorus ...
A. 21 March 2013: "..I am completely numb to what's going on, I can kiss him but feel nothing different to the kisses we give each other throughout the day"
Sounds to me like you're not in love with him any longer, to be honest. You're just going through the moti... (read in full...)
My body doesn't even get ready for sex anymore, I can't orgasm!
Q. Basically i have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, hes wonderful and i love him very much, we live together and we plan to get engaged soon. We lost our virginity to eachother and for the first few times we had sex i orgasmed (both clitorus ...
A. 20 March 2013: Some women just have a hard time getting there. You got lucky the first few times I guess, things were new an exciting and something you did worked. Why it suddenly didn't work any longer? Have no idea. But that's not really something to worry ... (read in full...)
I am 3 months pregnant but my boyfriend pulled that "I am scared" crap. What's the next step?
Q. I am confused wether I am being lied to or not by the guy Ive been seeing for 6 mnths and am now 3 mnths pregnant too. When i told him i was pregnant he was happy but we had an argument after being in each others company for too long as we have both ...
A. 20 March 2013: You might not end up happily ever after with this man, but should that really play a part in it? The child you will give birth to wont be him, it'll be part of him yes, but it'll also be part of you and is it's own unique person. You left your ... (read in full...)
I am 3 months pregnant but my boyfriend pulled that "I am scared" crap. What's the next step?
Q. I am confused wether I am being lied to or not by the guy Ive been seeing for 6 mnths and am now 3 mnths pregnant too. When i told him i was pregnant he was happy but we had an argument after being in each others company for too long as we have both ...
A. 19 March 2013: Isn't he allowed to be scared? I'm sure you're scared too. You've just been in a relationship for 6 months and are practically strangers. It's natural to feel overwhelmed, and scared. How he chooses to deal with his fear might not be ideal, bu... (read in full...)
I'm confused...am I a virgin or not?
Q. I was in a relationship 1year back but that guy ditched me very badly. We once tried to have sex. That time he didnt enter me compltely but I was having some pain when he started entring me therefore I ask him to stop and remove from inside me. ...
A. 19 March 2013: Btw, @ Ilifton: "what if the guy was only three inches (small, i know) and wasn't long enough to even break your hymen during intercourse?" The hymen isn't that far in. And a 3.5 inches long penis is an average penis size. In case you didn't know.... (read in full...)
I'm confused...am I a virgin or not?
Q. I was in a relationship 1year back but that guy ditched me very badly. We once tried to have sex. That time he didnt enter me compltely but I was having some pain when he started entring me therefore I ask him to stop and remove from inside me. ...
A. 19 March 2013: You're not a virgin. You had sex, whether he completely entered you or not is not so relevant. You were naked in bed with another man and his penis was pushing into your vagina. How far he got doesn't matter, you're not a virgin. That said, it ... (read in full...)
How do I get someone I care about to stop smoking?
Q. I need some serious help. I feel like such a terrible person because I can't control my own emotions. Recently my friend started smoking and its crushed me, I've cried everyday since, just knowing he does it upsets me and I'd give anything in...
A. 19 March 2013: You got to let people make their own mistakes. If he suddenly wanted to start up a hobby with some extreme sport or other he'd also be risking his life. But people do what they do.. it's just that when people are young they think they are immortal. ... (read in full...)
Army girlfriend problems...should I stay or should I go?
Q. H everyone! So I'm dating someone in the army for almost a year although we've known each other for years. He's based in Hawaii while I live in Illinois. We're vey much in love and I know this is the man I'm going to marry. He has three years left ...
A. 19 March 2013: Let me start by telling you something you don't want to hear. You do not know that this is the man you are going to marry. All you know is that right now, you want to marry him. You don't know how he feels about the matter when it all comes down to ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my girlfriend about my past?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months now and it has been going great. I work in a different state but travel often to see her and will be seeing her in a month. In one of our recent conversations a topic i am not comfortable with ...
A. 18 March 2013: Of course now that you avoid the question she's more intrigued. Curiosity did kill the cat though, something she doesn't seem to remember.
I think, instead of telling her some line such as "the past doesn't matter, only the future does", you try ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about our cuddling while we slept in the same bed?
Q. I have a friend that I have known for 3 years we almost dated once, but chose to be friends and its made our friendship pretty strong. The other night I was visiting him at his house and he told me I could sleep over if I want. I made the choice to ...
A. 18 March 2013: She isn't saying you're judging her IamHereToHelpYou. She's saying she thinks people who know her will judge if she was to go to them. ... (read in full...)
How to deal with being completely alone...?
Q. That's basically my situation. I feel like I pretty much have nobody. I'm sure it's partly my fault, but there are other factors that make it difficult for me to really get out there and socialize. For one, I don't even have a car right now (and ...
A. 17 March 2013: Can't go anywhere? No busses, no nothing to transport you except for getting rides from people (btw if you get rides from people, aren't they your friends?)
Look around for options to socialize in the immediate proximity. Go online to socializ... (read in full...)
I should marry him, yes? or marry him not?
Q. Should I marry my boyfriend? Reasons for I love him and know he loves me He is willing to take on my thirteen year old daughter He loves my family He cooks well, haha He loves my cooking He is warm and loving in his ways generally Reasons ...
A. 17 March 2013: Can you live without him? Yes? Then don't marry.
When it's right you'll feel it. When in doubt.. it isn't right. ... (read in full...)
Is it me or him? I am sick of begging for sex. How can he be 23 and have such a low sex drive?
Q. I’m older than him. He is 23 and I am older. So if you are the kind of person who doesn’t understand the older woman, younger man relationship doesn't respond I’m looking for help and information. Not “advice” that’s not going to help me, at a...
A. 17 March 2013: It's not you, some people do have a low sex drive. And when two partners have different sex drives it always becomes a problem. Some are able to solve that problem, but most aren't, because in order to solve it you need to compromise, and few people ... (read in full...)
I know I have to move on, alone with my child. Because I stayed with him before and my child was taken away. How Do I find the strength to move on?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years and I have had more hurtful situation occur than any one couple ever should. At 2 months our daughter was removed from our custody. It was caused from him drinking and my choosing to stay with him. We together tried to get...
A. 17 March 2013: I wouldn't know the best approach for you, as the situation is different in your country than in mine. I don't know what places you can turn to in USA to get help. But one place in universal, and that is family and friends. Turn to your family. Ask ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has bipolar disorder and his behavior is very disturbing and violent...and I might be pregnant with his child!
Q. My boyfriend and I had an argument last night. I feel bad , because he had cooked us a meal. We didnt get to eat the meal together. He has bipolar disorder, and i cant handle it when he is too hyper. He was very hyper yesterday, and had had a bit of ...
A. 16 March 2013: Of course your mother doesn't like your boyfriend, and she'll be very supportive if you leave him I think. Also don't underestimate your mother. If you are pregnant, IF, then I believe she will help you out as best as she can. There was no point in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has bipolar disorder and his behavior is very disturbing and violent...and I might be pregnant with his child!
Q. My boyfriend and I had an argument last night. I feel bad , because he had cooked us a meal. We didnt get to eat the meal together. He has bipolar disorder, and i cant handle it when he is too hyper. He was very hyper yesterday, and had had a bit of ...
A. 16 March 2013: "I also wouldnt want my child to grow up without it's father."
Your child will always have a father. But your future child is MUCH better off with a father with visitation rights with adult supervision, than a father who smashes the house down and... (read in full...)
It's not what she did, it's that she lied about it
Q. My gf and I have been together for two years now. She is known to lie now and again. A few weeks back we got into a big fight because I was getting an apartment but didn't think it was best for her to move in. I told her we could still hang out as ...
A. 16 March 2013: Look... she's known to lie, so what did you expect? Honesty? You can't expect honesty from a girl who is known to lie. If you want to be mad at anyone be mad at yourself for going back to her. You broke up for a reason, and that reason is still ... (read in full...)
We invitied my friend to join in a threesome and haven't heard from him since
Q. Me and my fiance have openly discussed how we share the fantasy of a threesome and its always been known that my friend has a fantasy about my fiance So me, my fiance, my friend and my fiances sister were drinking one night having a good ti...
A. 16 March 2013: --- Where to start? There's so many things wrong with this. You have a friend, who's got a crush on your fiancée. Highly inappropriate, but okay. Except for the part where you think this is some hilarious joke and you should just play with your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has bipolar disorder and his behavior is very disturbing and violent...and I might be pregnant with his child!
Q. My boyfriend and I had an argument last night. I feel bad , because he had cooked us a meal. We didnt get to eat the meal together. He has bipolar disorder, and i cant handle it when he is too hyper. He was very hyper yesterday, and had had a bit of ...
A. 16 March 2013: PS. In case it wasn't obvious enough: my dad is bipolar. And although he never smashed things around, he was verbally and physically abusive. He would scream and shout like your bf does, he would put his hands on us, he tried to choke my mother ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has bipolar disorder and his behavior is very disturbing and violent...and I might be pregnant with his child!
Q. My boyfriend and I had an argument last night. I feel bad , because he had cooked us a meal. We didnt get to eat the meal together. He has bipolar disorder, and i cant handle it when he is too hyper. He was very hyper yesterday, and had had a bit of ...
A. 16 March 2013: Okay, you're not pregnant. At least not that you know of. You can't go around basing decisions on the "possibility of being pregnant". You took the home test, it was negative. You're about to get your period soon, but stress can make it late or not ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of her crying and am losing patience!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years, and we live together. This has been a gradual process, of me losing my patience. She cries a lot, for many reasons. Not a ridiculous amount, but at least a once, maybe a few times a week. Often, it is ...
A. 16 March 2013: SVC, I don't think the OP's girlfriend is like you, and who just need a cry every now and then. I also need to cry ever now and then, I tear up easily because I'm emotional, but I don't always need support. It's a way to show emotion, sometimes I ... (read in full...)
Negative responses about breast implants have me questioning what I should do about my body!
Q. I've asked this question before and had some good responses, but I just read another reply to another post and this involved the respondent saying that "as long as she doesn't have breast implants"...in relation to her partner finding another women ...
A. 15 March 2013: So your query is .. what do other people think of your breasts and implants?
Answer: IT DOESN'T FRIGGING MATTER! Who cares what OTHERS think or find attractive? The point isn't for you to walk around and turn every male on and be the dream-wo... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to remain single for life and not believe in love?
Q. I'm a 20 year old female who has resorted to wanting to remain a virgin and stay single for life. Although I've never been in a relationship, they just do not appeal to me. Because of my slight insecurities with myself (naturally lanky, no curves ...
A. 14 March 2013: PS. My boyfriend also thought relationships weren't for him. He was 24 and never had a relationship, a virgin and unkissed (except for a childhood peck), and had decided to spend his life alone. He wasn't seeking relationships, and he didn't think ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to remain single for life and not believe in love?
Q. I'm a 20 year old female who has resorted to wanting to remain a virgin and stay single for life. Although I've never been in a relationship, they just do not appeal to me. Because of my slight insecurities with myself (naturally lanky, no curves ...
A. 14 March 2013: Look, you're free to do what you want. It's probably just your parents who will be disappointed that they wont get grandchildren, but they will get over it.
However, don't be too strict with yourself. So you don't feel like entering any relation... (read in full...)
Are there guys that wait till marriage?
Q. Are there virgin guys out there that want to wait till marriage with someone they really love? I feel very disappointed and alone when all I see is jerky guys and pregnant teens. People are so slutty and cold hearted these days. ...
A. 14 March 2013: Pretty sure there are tons of people who wait, but mostly if they are religious. There might be those who are virgins just because they happened to not find someone they wanted to sleep with yet, but they wouldn't necessarily be willing to wait ... (read in full...)
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