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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 2 December 2012: I think this entire thread has just inspired me to write an article on a "short introduction to feminism", so that we can straighten this out. There are differences in feminism, not double standards per se, but different perceptions. Just like there ... (read in full...)
Boyfriends best friend is constantly with us and it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't know what to do!
Q. Afternoon. :) I have a little situation with my boyfriend, we live in halls (college halls) and because of this, we live together all the time, we share the same room etc. We have literally no issue with this, we get on so well and everything i...
A. 2 December 2012: I was about to ask if you've even opened your mouth and told your boyfriend. But then you write you haven't. Out of fear of sounding like a nag. This isn't nagging, it's being HONEST. Your boyfriend can not read your mind, and men highly apprechiate ... (read in full...)
He thinks it's a date but I just want to be friends. How do I let him down without hurting him?
Q. Hi I've kinda ended up agreeing to a date that I didn't know was a date. A friend of mine has been chatting to me for a while and being really friendly etc. I thought at first he might be flirting but I said I wasn't looking for anything so presumed ...
A. 2 December 2012: Bring a friend with you to the cinema. ... (read in full...)
Would you consider an internet romance to be cheating?
Q. Would it be cheating if my girlfriend went on internet and talked to some guy and they had a little romance over the internet for not a long time before i cought her. She then told me they did nothing. But I read the email and they were flirting and ...
A. 2 December 2012: Cheating. ... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 2 December 2012:
"Feminism has never been about equality. It's just a process that promiscuous women use to rationalize their behavior."
What is your field of education? You do not sound like you know much if anything about feminism, and if so, should you r... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship, but my high sex drive has caused me to have feelings for someone I shouldn't. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, Just a little background on my problem. I am in a LDR of two and a half years. I see my boyfriend several times a year, and we are completely and totally in love. I have a remarkably high sex drive, but our sexual relationship bar...
A. 1 December 2012: You need to cut contact with your best friend. If you are sexually attracted to him, then it's not a platonic relationship anyway, alas, not a pure friendship. A slight attraction such as, acknowleding that he is attractive, that's okay. But laying ... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 30 November 2012: "Sex and the City" is the one and only show that highlights womens sexuality. It was more or less one of a kind, and a starting point to make women and men equal. The existence of this show does however not mean the stereotypes aren't still alive ... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 30 November 2012: Male anon, your logic says it's "unfair" that some are prettier than others. Your logic is not at all relevant to this discussion. Equality between sexes is not about men getting laid less than women. World wide women do not have the same ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, am I ready for sex?
Q. I am a 14 year old girl...i am from india...the question i want to ask is that am i ready for sex?...i know this guy since 8 months..we are pretty much good friends...we share everything with eachother..no secrets...he wants to have sex with me...so ...
A. 29 November 2012: If you have sex now you will regret it. 14 year old girls ALWAYS regret having sex at such a young age. ... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 29 November 2012: "The result is inequality. The more casual/sexual the relationship, the more women will flock to the most attractive men at the expense of all the others. All women do better, the top 10% of men do a whole lot better, and 90% of men do worse."
... (read in full...)
Is my behavior my fault, or the fault of the person who caused me to behave this way?
Q. SIMPLE QUESTION: if i tell someone (in this case a family member) not to do or say a certain thing b/c it'll get me really angry, and then they go ahead and say or do what gets me angry anyways, and i blow up and get mad, am i at fault, or ...
A. 29 November 2012: I'll make it very simple for you. In the adult world, YOU are ALWAYS responsible for YOUR actions.
If you're ever uncertan about this again, read the laws in yoru country. A provoked attack can LOWER your sentence, but you will still be on trial... (read in full...)
Has he crossed boundaries, should I make something of his behavior?
Q. I was at a meeting last night and the usual innuendo was going on. After the meeting I went down the pub with two of the men one of which I know quite well being my partner's friend. The other guy had gone outside for a cigarette so when we sat d...
A. 29 November 2012: He put his arm around you, by the sounds of it. Claiming you as his territory. It's disrespectful to your relationship and to you. ... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 28 November 2012: I also want to say that it comes down to birth control really. A man never gets pregnant, and doesn't have to deal with any consequences of having casual sex (well, not unless you can track him down). His life does not change by having casual sex, ... (read in full...)
Any advice on ways other then oral sex or girl on top, to get my girlfriend to orgasm?
Q. I am in a loving an monogamous long-distance relationship. It's been going swimmingly even though we're both in college. When we do get to see each other (about 5 out of every 30 days) we generally have a lot of sex and its been amazing. The only ...
A. 28 November 2012: There is no issue. You can bring her to an orgasm in two different ways, thats two ways more than most other men can. If she wants more variety she can masturbate. It isn't all about the orgasm you know, a woman, and men too, enjoy sex without ... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 28 November 2012: "Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?"
Because women don't have the same value as men just yet. There's not equality between the sexes yet. Just look at the politicians, how many of them are women? We've ju... (read in full...)
I showed my online boyfriend a fake picture. Now I'm afraid he wont accept the real me.
Q. 3 years back i met this sweet guy through online.Hes very sweet, after 3 years of chatting i never expect i will fall in love with him and he told me he fall for me too. he always say im the sweetest gal he ever met he has my number and we talk and ...
A. 28 November 2012: How long ago did you show him the fake picture? If it was at the beginning of getting to know one another, such as 3 years ago, then don't worry about it. When you first meet a stranger online you don't always want to show a real picture of ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friends fiancee she's being cheated on?
Q. I've recently found out that my friend is cheating on his fiancee. It wasn't a drunken one night stand either. He's been meeting up with this girl for quite some time now behind her back. I don't know his fiancee, but since i've found out, should I ...
A. 27 November 2012: No, you don't tell her. It is not your business, and she is not your friend. However, you have leverage over your friend. Tell him that his actions are crossing with your moral standpoint. That either he tells his girl that he is cheating, or you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly brings up my past, how do I get him to see I've changed and help us move on together?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 11 months. 16 months ago I split up from my husband and went a little crazy, craving attention from absolutely any guy I met. I slept with a few guys but would also get guys numbers and constantly text them and email ...
A. 27 November 2012: Counceling for couples. That would be my best advice. If he can not trust you, then you can not have a relationship. And at this point, it isn't up to you alone to "prove" that you are to be trusted, it is also up to him to GIVE you trust. He needs ... (read in full...)
How did I get HPV if I have had only 1 sexual partner?
Q. So I got a Pap smear recently and my doctor told me I had abnormal results and needed a colposcopy. The results from that showed that I'm HPV + ! However I have only been with 1 person sexually my whole life, my current boyfriend. He on the ...
A. 27 November 2012: HPV isn't tested for, and unless you have a strain of the virus that causes an abnormality, then it wont be detected. Everyone who ever had sex has HPV, as it spreads from just a mere touch. Don't even need to have sex, just touching is enough. As ... (read in full...)
I'm a nice guy is that why I get friendzoned?
Q. I'm what you could call a nice guy. I hold doors open for girls, always treat them with the respect they deserve, and my friends that are girls say that I'm sweet, ask why more guys aren't like me, and why I'm not dating anyone. Yet, even when I ...
A. 27 November 2012: It's your age. Just keep doing what you're doing and girls will be flocking around you in a few years time. Teenagers don't think for themselves you know, they only want to be like everyone else, and they want to be popular. So they date the ones ... (read in full...)
What were his motives? Why did my ex ask me out, thinking I had a new Bf? But then get all upset after he realised I wasn't dating?
Q. My ex boyfriend started texting me last week. He thought I was still seeing someone but when he mentioned it I replied saying that I wasn't. Well it turns out he never got that text and asked me out anyway thinking I still had a boyfriend. Wel...
A. 26 November 2012: Your ex is a douchebag, you should remember this before talking to him ever again. He just said all these things because he wanted to sleep with you, and yes, it's incredibly selfish of him. But at the same time, you need to protect yourself from ... (read in full...)
With holding of sex
Q. why is it when my girlfiend with holds sex its okay but when i do she gets mad about it?...
A. 25 November 2012: Why is it you are having sex when you're not legal yet? You should both be witholding sex, unless you want to wind up preggers at 16.... (read in full...)
Trying to strengthen our relationship has hurt her, what should I do?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 7 months. My previous relationship ended 4 months prior. (At the time prior to meeting my current girlfriend, I had already made up my mind to move on and get back in the dating world.) Unfortunately I found ...
A. 25 November 2012: " From my perspective I was only trying to make things better because my goal was to be able to focus completely on my new girlfriend"
You should be able to get on with your life without having to meet your ex, or talk about your ex. She should b... (read in full...)
Should I believe that my bf is not attracted to this young woman who is going to be his room-mate soon?
Q. My bf and I have lived together for the last year or so, and our roommate split suddenly and we needed someone who could move in asap and afford to pay rent. Unfortunately, this wound up being my high school friend (this was honestly the only opt...
A. 25 November 2012: "I know that living in close quarters can either inspire or totally stop attraction."
Being in a relationship with someone else and having several years pass by also effectively stops attraction to past loves...
I think you're worrying over no... (read in full...)
How do I deal or forget her past sexual experience? Because I really love this girl and don't want to lose her
Q. Okay well I have been dating this girl for 2 months and i have really started to love her she is the first girl i have ever wanted to say i love you to but when i start to think about her past with all of the men she has slept with it really ...
A. 25 November 2012: How old is she? How many partners can she possibly have had at such a young age? It sounds like something is going on here, and you wont like what I'm about to say. Having had multiple sex partners at such a young age tends to indicate a history of ... (read in full...)
Should I propose for a second time? Thoughts please!!
Q. What a god damn cliche I'm about to spew, but it's the truth and I need guidance. Girl moves next door in 5th grade, boy befriends girl. They become best friends by the summer before 6th grade and continue this sexually frustrating relationship ...
A. 25 November 2012: I don't think she sounds selfish either, you gave a very objective walkthrough of the events. I don't understand why she wouldn't be engaged to you while taking her Ph.D, but I do know that traditionally you should be married within a year after ... (read in full...)
My crush only thinks of me as his little sister's friend
Q. I have a crush on my best friends's brother. I cant stop thinking about him. I want to tell her that I like her brother, but I don't know how to. Ususally I just say it but in this case should I tell her slowly. I just turned 13 and he's going to be ...
A. 24 November 2012: Maybe you should ask your friend if she can ask her brother if he likes you? You should prepare yourself for your best friend not wanting you to like her brother. Maybe she wouldn't be okay with it. So maybe you should not tell her completely how ... (read in full...)
Why did the evening start out date like and at the end she made it clear we were just friends?
Q. I met this girl in August and we hit it off straight away. So we started going out on dates, going to the cinema, meals out ect, which would always end up with us passionately kissing and cuddling till the early hours. We even performed oral sex on ...
A. 23 November 2012: Maybe she didn't realize how she felt about you until after the cinema. Maybe she wanted to see you one last time to make sure there wasn't anything there? Who knows, you need to ask her this. But most likely she didn't plan it. It's like with one ... (read in full...)
Why did the evening start out date like and at the end she made it clear we were just friends?
Q. I met this girl in August and we hit it off straight away. So we started going out on dates, going to the cinema, meals out ect, which would always end up with us passionately kissing and cuddling till the early hours. We even performed oral sex on ...
A. 22 November 2012: Just goes to show guys shouldn't put out either. Don't do sexual stuff with a girl who's not youe official girlfriend. Sounds like she was never into you, but just took advantage of a casual fling, since you were good at oral. Sorry. If she had real ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar?
Q. Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar? I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, and in my googling I have read many, many warnings from people who have dated bipolar people to steer clear of us. I have al...
A. 22 November 2012: "Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar?"
My initial response is NO. My father is biploar, or so he's said, but who knows these days it seems everyone is getting that diagnosis.
But then I'm thinking, if you... (read in full...)
We dated a week, he went to afghanistan for 8 months and I don't know what will happen in that space of time!
Q. So I have this dilemma.. I recently met a guy that I have fallen completely head over heals for, and from my understanding, he has completely fallen for me too. The problem is, he is in the army, and was deployed to Afghanistan a couple days ago. ...
A. 22 November 2012: Just go ahead with things and see what happens. You aren't in a relationship, so you shouldn't sit around and wait for him, or cut out your social life just so you can stay on hold for him.
He's in the army, he'll travel away several times. S... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 22 November 2012: I guarantee you, this will be a funny memory. And you're not later than other teenagers, they all tend to go through this at this age. They just make sure to keep it a secret so no one knows how awkward they truly feel. ... (read in full...)
What am I? Is what I am feeling a normal part of going through puberty?
Q. ok im 13 going through puberty and i don't know what im going through. I like girls ( I HAVE A GF) but i look at boys sometimes, girls too. Though I only look when im horny. When I'm horny a lot i do masturbate. I look some gay porn pics Now I need...
A. 21 November 2012: It's common for both boys anf girls in their teens, and it's just called being a teenagers. You're figuring out who you are and what you want, no harm in that. When you hit your 20-ties you will have a clearer idea about what you want, although you ... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 21 November 2012: You've tried and failed with 4 girls. I've tried and failed numerous times before I got the hang of it. I don't keep count, I have no idea how many times I've been rejected. I'll still get rejections, mind you. But my scoring rate now can easily be ... (read in full...)
Not for revenge but for my own pleasure I'm thinking of cheating, nothing serious just a one night thing. Opinions please!
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5 years up until recently we were engaged, have 2 children and were trying for a 3rd. During this time he has cheated on me twice that I know of. The first was for the first 12 months we were together...
A. 20 November 2012: "It's not always cheating but his hole life when things were going well he has done something to screw it up."
He's an adult, if he's been doing this all his life you'd think he would LEARN from his mistakes, rather than just continue doing th... (read in full...)
Not for revenge but for my own pleasure I'm thinking of cheating, nothing serious just a one night thing. Opinions please!
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5 years up until recently we were engaged, have 2 children and were trying for a 3rd. During this time he has cheated on me twice that I know of. The first was for the first 12 months we were together...
A. 20 November 2012: "I'm going to come back into this and give it all I have as long as I get the same back from him."
You're not getting anything from him. You're missing the point. The only reason he is "tryingt to be better" is because he's already at the lowest p... (read in full...)
What would you do if your significant other said their ex's name during sex?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 3 years. The other night we were in the middle of sex and she said another man's name. More importantly it was her ex's name. She tried to play it off like it didn't happen. Has anyone been in this situation ...
A. 20 November 2012: If anyone think it "means" something then they're reading too much into it. My grandmother also used to call me by the wrong name. Does it mean she didn't know who I was? Of course not. Does it mean she liked the person who's name she called, better ... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 20 November 2012: "by the time we get together, all thoughts of a fulfilling sex life and adventure with her would be gon e since she would want kids soon."
Don't worry, most women I know of don't want children with a man they barely know, so you'll get to have at ... (read in full...)
What would you do if your significant other said their ex's name during sex?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 3 years. The other night we were in the middle of sex and she said another man's name. More importantly it was her ex's name. She tried to play it off like it didn't happen. Has anyone been in this situation ...
A. 19 November 2012: It's been 3 years... Did she recently meet him? That was random. I think I'd be upset for a bit, but then try to talk some sense into myself. After all, people say the wrong name/word all the time. In any other context you wouldn't have been ... (read in full...)
Girls: What is more important, penetrative sex or oral sex?
Q. Hi This question is for ladies. I just hear how much girls like oral sex, so I want to ask you(girls) if oral sex is more important and more enjoyable for you then intercourse/penetration? Thanks a lot....
A. 19 November 2012: I prefer intercourse, but I wouldn't want a sex life with no cunnilingus. I still haven't figured out how to get there with a man, but I know the best way would be through oral sex, as that is the only way a man has ever made me orgasm. I would love ... (read in full...)
My room mate doesn't understand why I don't want her to walk around naked in front of my boyfriend
Q. I asked a question awhile back, and now things have progressed and I need HELP! This is the link to my first question... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/our-female-room-mate-who-has-a-crush.html (RECAP: My female roommate has, on multipl...
A. 19 November 2012: You're not the crazy one, she is. This is basic manners, she isn't living out in the jugle like some Tarzan and Jane after all. If she wants to "go native" she can live outside. If she wants the comfort of a civilized home then... be civil. Simple ... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 19 November 2012: And btw, my boyfriend is a nice guy and super sexy as well, yet was a virgin until he was 24 and didn't think anyone would be interested in him. He thought all the girls went for his "good looking" friends, who in reality are.. well, fat and below ... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 19 November 2012: At 19 you really haven't lived long enough for the phrase "all my life" to bear any meaning. "All your life" in this context is a matter of 3-4 years. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 18, but I didn't go around saying "Men have ignored ... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 16 November 2012: You're not a car. As people mature they stop thinking of humans as objects. That's my response to your follow-up. Give it a few years, and you will mature as well and stop seeing yourself as a second class car, and instead see yourself as the unique ... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 15 November 2012: You don't need to be "better" than him. It is not a competition. Give it another 2-3 years and you'll have a good nose for your own type of girls, the girls that will solely go for guys like you, while ignoring guys like him. They exist. But you ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
