| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
Is it normal to have fantasies about being anally raped?
Q. I'm just your normal, every day 17 year old girl. Sometimes I like to read erotic stories online. About two months ago, I stumbled upon this story where a teenage boy forced himself onto his sister, anally. I don't know why, but this turned me on ...
A. 3 September 2013: Interesting to hear back from you after so long, and glad you found the advice helpful. I feel like I have to defend HOneypie a little though. Everyone needs to assume a bit when giving answers online, just because there is too little information to ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have fantasies about being anally raped?
Q. I'm just your normal, every day 17 year old girl. Sometimes I like to read erotic stories online. About two months ago, I stumbled upon this story where a teenage boy forced himself onto his sister, anally. I don't know why, but this turned me on ...
A. 28 February 2013: Yes, you're normal. It is totally normal to have sexual fantasies. Everyone has sexual fantasies. Not everyone fantasize about the same thing, we each have our preferences. But in general, people do like to think about non-realistic fantasies. It's ... (read in full...)
I need help overcoming my addiction to prostitutes
Q. Hi I've been seeing prostitutes for 15 years. It started off out of boredom. I have always had a strong sexual appetite, I started masturbating from a young age. Every time I use a prostitute I beat myself up about it. At first I had protecte...
A. 28 February 2013: Then get help. Go talk to your doctor. Talking to strangers online wont do you any good. If you actually want help then take action and take that big step and talk to your doctor. Be honest about how the situation is, that you are putting yourself ... (read in full...)
Her awful childhood has led her to a lot of problems, I don't know whether I should try to help her and stick around. Help?
Q. This is a long winded story but I'm going to try to keep this as brief as possible. I've known my girlfriend for 4 yrs and we have been dating for about 2 months but we started really talking a month before that. Word around town was she was a easy ...
A. 27 February 2013: It's very typical, sadly. When girls are raped at a young age, the majority of them get "lose". It's a mental thing, because if they say "yes" to everyone they can't be raped again. Because if they said yes then they agreed to it (even though they ... (read in full...)
Can one waste so much time thinking about the ex that one could miss out on what could be true love? how can one stop dwelling on the ex?
Q. Bit of a general question here, but if you are trying to get over an ex, how are you supposed to know when to give up wondering and hoping? What if you decide to give up and then you never rrally find true love because you were meant to be with the...
A. 26 February 2013: Although, I must add. If it was "meant to be", then circumstances wouldn't have caused a need to break-up. People have long distance relationships all the time, so , for example, moving away isn't reason to end a relationship if you truly love one ... (read in full...)
Can one waste so much time thinking about the ex that one could miss out on what could be true love? how can one stop dwelling on the ex?
Q. Bit of a general question here, but if you are trying to get over an ex, how are you supposed to know when to give up wondering and hoping? What if you decide to give up and then you never rrally find true love because you were meant to be with the...
A. 26 February 2013: "What if you decide to give up and then you never rrally find true love because you were meant to be with the person you gave up on? "
If you're someone to believe this type of superstitiousness then I can reassure you: if you were "meant to be" y... (read in full...)
Has a partner ever said they wouldn't watch porn but then do it anyways?
Q. Has anyone ever had a relationship where they have told their partner at the beginning they don't want porn in the relationship and their partner has accepted but done it anyway? I am worried this is going happen to me, I don't want to give myself ...
A. 26 February 2013: I don't think there's a problem in asking for a porn-free relationship. That comes down to a personal choice.
However, it is absolutely ridiculous to not "permit" your parter speaking to other humans, if you happened to find them attracti... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind after a breakup? Can they really feel nothing?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend, of 2.5 years, a week ago today. I'm struggling to even make it through the day. I'm truly heartbroken. He was the first man I'd ever fallen in love with. He's 34 and I'm 30. The reason I broke it off was because after ...
A. 26 February 2013: Your ex sending your brother a message on facebook means nothing and has nothing to do with you. You feel awful because everything that reminds you of him hurts you, but instead of thinking he does things to intentionally hurt you you should rather ... (read in full...)
What goes through a man's mind after a breakup? Can they really feel nothing?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend, of 2.5 years, a week ago today. I'm struggling to even make it through the day. I'm truly heartbroken. He was the first man I'd ever fallen in love with. He's 34 and I'm 30. The reason I broke it off was because after ...
A. 26 February 2013: He's feeling just as miserable as you, I believe, although everyone reacts differently. He probably acts out his misery in a different way than you, but that doesn't mean he's not suffering too. Men have emotions just like women, they just show them ... (read in full...)
Has a partner ever said they wouldn't watch porn but then do it anyways?
Q. Has anyone ever had a relationship where they have told their partner at the beginning they don't want porn in the relationship and their partner has accepted but done it anyway? I am worried this is going happen to me, I don't want to give myself ...
A. 26 February 2013: Let me put it to you differently.
Have I ever been in a relationship where a partner told me he'd never do (insert action) and then he did it anyway? Yes! And every failed relationship I've been with has been because of this. Expectat... (read in full...)
He needs some foot hygiene help! How do I do that without embarrassing him?
Q. My 28 year old boyfriend and I were hanging out at my place. He was exhausted from work, so I offer to give him a foot massage. His skin is a little hard and dry but the feet don't smell. At a certain point I notice that he has some white cotta...
A. 25 February 2013: If you're intimate enough with him to rub his feet then you're intimate enough with him to tell him he's probably got fungus between his toes. Being clean doesn't help much if he uses public showers, or walks around barefoot a lot. Easy to catch the ... (read in full...)
I thought he was the one. How could I have been so wrong?
Q. We were together for a year. We connected on so many levels (emotionally, intellectually, physical intimacy). I've had many relationships before. I've even been married once. Never have I been so happy as I was with him. He broke up with me on the ...
A. 25 February 2013: I think you did make him happy, too happy. Some people are just chickens. Scaredy-cats. Commitment-phobes is a popular term. Scared, basically. Insecure I think. Afraid of failure.
He'll never end up in a long term happy relationship, because ... (read in full...)
Arguments over dinner ingredients resulting in mom not talking to me.
Q. Hi there, I'm having problems with my mom, she often shout t me for things sometimes I see why others are not so clear. One of the more recent occasions she asked me to vacuum the dining room which I did along with cooking lunch and washing up a...
A. 25 February 2013: You're not giving facts, you're just presenting your view of things. And what do you expect when you ask for opinions? You expect opinions... yet you dislike it when someone has an opinion that differs from yours. You asked why we think your mother ... (read in full...)
Is he the right Bf for me? He prefers vanilla sex. I want threesome,s sex toys, bondage, role plays, sex outdoors and dressing up
Q. I'm 24 and my partner is 28 and we have been together for a year and a half. Although we love each other the chemistry in the bedroom isn't sizzling... We keep fighting and getting frustrated with each other about whether we are having sex or n...
A. 25 February 2013: And I want to add, that my previous boyfriend was like yours. Almost anyway. He was boring in bed, although when I look back he did introduce me to a new position or two. However, it was still so vanilla, because no matter what I made him do, even ... (read in full...)
Is he the right Bf for me? He prefers vanilla sex. I want threesome,s sex toys, bondage, role plays, sex outdoors and dressing up
Q. I'm 24 and my partner is 28 and we have been together for a year and a half. Although we love each other the chemistry in the bedroom isn't sizzling... We keep fighting and getting frustrated with each other about whether we are having sex or n...
A. 25 February 2013: No, this isn't the guy for you. I can say that right away, because when things are "blah" in the bedroom and the chemistry isn't there... all you have is a friendship/room-mate situation. Without passion and chemistry it's just boring mechanisms, ... (read in full...)
Are we Platonic or not? While telling me he's a "Player", now he wants me to meet his sister.Why?
Q. If your guy friend wants you to meet his sister(after 9 months) is my relationship with my guy friend platonic or not? Why am I confused? It's because he has been saying that she wants to meet me, and now he's actually putting something to...
A. 25 February 2013: ... Is there a rule against friends meeting siblings? I wasn't aware such things were reserved for romantic relationships? I've introduced all my friends to my brother, sure hope they didn't think I was in love with them because of it!... (read in full...)
Arguments over dinner ingredients resulting in mom not talking to me.
Q. Hi there, I'm having problems with my mom, she often shout t me for things sometimes I see why others are not so clear. One of the more recent occasions she asked me to vacuum the dining room which I did along with cooking lunch and washing up a...
A. 25 February 2013: Hmm, that's interesting. Your boyfriend lives with you, yet you don't expect him to help out around the house, you're just angry that the foster-siblings aren't expected to do as much. Wonder why.
And you didn't answer any of my question... (read in full...)
Arguments over dinner ingredients resulting in mom not talking to me.
Q. Hi there, I'm having problems with my mom, she often shout t me for things sometimes I see why others are not so clear. One of the more recent occasions she asked me to vacuum the dining room which I did along with cooking lunch and washing up a...
A. 24 February 2013: Stop talking back to your mother, and stop arguing about small stuff.
If she said she normally has the fresh cheese, and you thought it was otherwise, why bother arguing about it? Why even mention it? There is no point, it's only you looking ... (read in full...)
Will he ever believe me?
Q. Hi my bf and I have been together for 10 months. From the beginning hes had control, jealousy,.and trust issues. They seem to be getting worse. He had my fb and hotmail passwords and yes he gave me his I looked maybe twice he was on my lots daily...
A. 24 February 2013: No. He will never believe you. He never believed you to begin with. And it will only get worse. He has no right to look at your facebook or e-mail or look you up at the gps to track you down like some criminal. He has no right. Yet there he sits and ... (read in full...)
52 year old male with 3 late teen daughters seeing a 20 year old woman?
Q. I'm 52 and divorced with three daughters ages 21, 18, 17. I have been seeing a 20 year old woman. My daughters think this is very bad. The 20 year old wants me to choose her over my daughters. I broke it off with the 20 year old because of my ...
A. 24 February 2013: It was bound to be a problem anyway. Your daughters and the 20-year old would always be competing with one another, as they were so close in age. You're expecting too much if you think everyone should "get along". If you want people to get along you ... (read in full...)
The guy that I've been dating for 3 years has done the disappearing act!
Q. So the guy that I've been dating for 3 years.. has done the disappearing act.. No contact or communication whatsoever..lately.. There was no arguments nothing of that nature.. I feel like he's either one of two things.. Has a fear of taking our ...
A. 24 February 2013: Haha, well I had this happen to me on a couple of occasions. The first time it happened the guy had just taken off with some friends to another city. Didn't tell me. Forgot to bring the cell-phone charger. Came back a week later and rang my doorbell ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my soulmate that I can't be with her?
Q. There is really only one question that I have, how do I tell the woman I love, the woman I feel is my soulmate, that I cannot be with her?...
A. 24 February 2013: That would depend on the reason why you can't be with her. If it's a matter of fact thing then she'll understand. If it's a BS reason that you have made up because you actually don't really love her, then she'll get angry with you, but eventually ... (read in full...)
Received advice before, but still feeling bad . . .
Q. I have posted a couple of questions on this site and I received a lot of good answers that built me up. However, I am still in the same place I was when I started posting because for every kind answer I received here there were others on the ...
A. 24 February 2013: Look, it's this simple. You CHOOSE to listen to what you WANT to listen to. If you hear many negative comments, and feel bad because of them, then that is a CHOICE you make. So yes, in that manner, you do choose to be miserable. If it's because you ... (read in full...)
Since our first date he's tried to get me back to his place. Is he just in it for sex?
Q. Hi I've gone on 2 dates with a guy. We got along very well, spent the whole date laughing and talking about how much we had in common. He invited me back to his house both times but I declined. While we were at dinner talking he told me tha...
A. 24 February 2013: If he keeps wanting you to go to his place then yes.. it's all sex.
"He's invited me back to his place since day one but I also don't see why he'd mention thinking hed like to be married by now if he was just trying to have sex?"
Oh that's eas... (read in full...)
Personality disorder? Or am I looking too far into the way he behaves?
Q. Hi, I think my partner has some sort of personality disorder. We have know each other yrs and have a couple of kids together. We have had a volatile relationship in the past as he was a bit of a mummy's boy. He is 44 and we only started living p...
A. 24 February 2013: Lets see if I got this right.
"he had a 27 yr old son who has disowned him and still hangs around on the odd weekends with guys who drink all day. "
So your husband has a 27 year old drunkard of a son who you keep around your kids. A 27 year ... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this unhappy situation? He says a divorce will be worse on the kids than us being unhappy.
Q. I have been married for 14 years and have 3 kids under 10. My husband and I dated for 6 years before getting married. I am absolutely miserable in my marriage. My husband is emotionally abusive...a true narcissist. It has taken me too long and ...
A. 24 February 2013: If he cares so little for his own children that he openly admits to not want to support them... Well then, he obviously does not care much for his children now when he lives in the same house as them either.
Your children probably hurt from his... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to make close friendships? I seem to be left out.
Q. I am 27, have never really had a close group of friends and it upsets me that that's the case. I've had friends over the years of course, but only ever one or two at a time and often they have been born out of convenience, ie we were the only 2 ...
A. 23 February 2013: Some friendships are meant to drift away, some friendships have their season. Meant to enrich your life for a short while, and then go away. So, it's not like you're doing anything wrong if not everyone you meet stay life-long friends.
I have two... (read in full...)
I think my guy is still hung up on his ex. There are too many rules about sex because of how he did things with her!
Q. I think my partner is still hung up on his ex. The reasons I think this are: 1) he won't kiss me properly (tongues are a definite no-no) as he says when he used to kiss her she wanted more than just kissing. I have assured him I am not the...
A. 23 February 2013: Poster.. this is the first time here on dearcupid that I actually 100% agrees with the poster. Yes. Your man is too hung up on his ex, and all these rules about sex are ridiculous! He's punishing you for things SHE used to do! You're not allowed to ... (read in full...)
Oral sex? No I don't like giving it. So should I tell him I don't like doing it?
Q. I’m a young man and I’m gay and I’ve a boyfriend, we’re together for 3 years. But there is a problem. The thing is that I don’t like giving oral sex. I know how that might sound like, but I really don’t like it. Hard to explain why, my boyfrien...
A. 23 February 2013: "He doesn’t have any idea how awful it is for me, I haven’t said anything."
Why? How many times have I not told people, or read, or talked about how important communication is in a relationship. Communication, communication, communic... (read in full...)
That are some good opening words to start a conversation with a girl?
Q. So I know their are a few threads out here, but I really need some help or steps I like a couple of girls at my school, and one girl was from my highschool who I'm fond of. I'm a short guy 5'3" and I have a Hispanic accent I've erased my Faceboo...
A. 23 February 2013: "Hi".
That's how you start a conversation. You might also follow up with a "How are you today?". And then perhaps tell a little something about what you've been up to today that might be amusing.
It wont always get you anywhere, but if... (read in full...)
My LDR wants sexy pictures from me. But I have put on weight. I've tried sending him fake pictures.What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time now. He is in the marines in one state, while I am in another state. We've hung out a lot before he left, and I was pretty thin then. I have Gained some weight since ive last seen him. He asks...
A. 23 February 2013: Do you think the only reason he is with you is because of your body?
And if it is... then is he really someone you want to be with?
Give your guy some faith and trust him. You're being very rude to your boyfriend not only through lying to... (read in full...)
My girlfriend snores really loudly. How can I raise this sensitive subject, and not hurt her feelings? Because I can't get proper sleep myself in this situation.
Q. Yikes! I've got a bit of a small problem, but it's still causing me some issues. My girlfriend snores really loudly. It makes it almost impossible for me to sleep. I toss and turn. It's not pleasant, and is getting to the point where I don't wa...
A. 23 February 2013: Earplugs. You can also flip her over on the side. All of my boyfriends have snored. I can't seem to catch a break on that one. And I'm a VERY light sleeper. But I'm also a very grumpy person when someone wakes me up in the middle of the night... (read in full...)
What should I do about this baby Dad Drama, caused by his new GF? I need help.
Q. My child's father and I have been really going through the drama. His new girlfriend is the cause of it. She does things to influence our arguing I'm honestly tired out of fighting and I'm tired of her causing problems I talked to him about ...
A. 23 February 2013: I think his new gf probably senses that you want him back. So for her it becomes about marking territory. The more you try to get close to your ex, the further she wants to push you away.
As it happens, the way to "win him back" is also the way ... (read in full...)
I want us to be a family but I'm tired of doing everything all for nothing!
Q. I am in a bondle. I have been with this person about 3 years now on and off and we have a son together. Its our first kid for the both of us and when we first started dating everything was great and we spent lots of time together. I found out I was ...
A. 23 February 2013: You are focusing on having a dream. He wont become your dream man just because you want him to, or just because you try so hard. You are probably right, he couldn't care less. So you doing so much is pointless, and only works to take away your ... (read in full...)
I resent my girlfriend because she's hot and I'm not!
Q. I'm a horrible person. I have a really great friend. She is by far the kindest and most sincere and loyal friend I have ever had. She's such a true friend that I truley.think if it came down to it she would throw herself in front of a car to save my ...
A. 23 February 2013: I agree with YouWish, and want to tell you that this is really true. It is your jealousy that makes you ugly, and it is her inner beauty that makes her beautiful on the outside too.
If you start to love yourself for who you are, respect yourself... (read in full...)
Do I go out with my former FWB who no longer has a girlfriend?
Q. Ok, last year I was seeing a guy who had a gf (please no judgement) for about 2 and a half months. It was strictly sexual, I told him I didn't want it to blossom into anything more than that. However, he finally told me that he would break up with ...
A. 22 February 2013: If you don't want a relationship with him then definitely no drinks or meeting up. What do you think, he just wants to catch up and be friends all of a sudden? This man wants more, you know it, and there is absolutely no reason for you to meet him ... (read in full...)
Is it really true? Once a cheater always a cheater?
Q. Can people be truly sorry for cheating and never go on to do it again? Or is it a case of once a cheater always a cheater? I've cheated in the past knew it was wrong and never done it again. My boyfriend of four years cheated in the b...
A. 22 February 2013: Yes, people can change. But people never change for others, and others can't make them change. They only change when and if they want to, for their own sake. And, it happens rarely that people change. It's more like.. learning impulse control rather ... (read in full...)
I loved her since 6th grade. Now is my shot, should I take it?
Q. Okay, so here is my story. Back in 7th grade (we are sophomores in college now) my best friend and I had huge crushes on one another. We talked 24/7 and couldn't get enough of each other. Out of me being a scared little kid, I missed my shot with ...
A. 21 February 2013: Go for it before it's too late. I don't know what you've been waiting for all this time. If you don't make your move someone else will, and next time she might actually get married and have more children.
If you want to be the man in her life, th... (read in full...)
Do I go out with my former FWB who no longer has a girlfriend?
Q. Ok, last year I was seeing a guy who had a gf (please no judgement) for about 2 and a half months. It was strictly sexual, I told him I didn't want it to blossom into anything more than that. However, he finally told me that he would break up with ...
A. 21 February 2013: I think it would be a bad idea to go out with him for several reasons.
1. he's a cheater. And really, no judgment, you weren't the one who were committed, but he was, and that makes him a cheater. And that speaks of his character. Don't think it... (read in full...)
I Proposed to My Pregnant Girlfriend, She Accepted!
Q. hi Aunts ahd Uncles... im the man who orginally posted about my pregnant girlfriend. the title was she posts everything on facebook. you all wanted me to come back and prove you wrong. well guess what? my baby BOY is due in june, i proposed to her ...
A. 21 February 2013: Hmm, well who is the biggest fool, the fool.. or the one who asks the fool for advice?
Just goes to show.. people often need someone to talk to so they can figure out what they should do. The advice given is only one side to it, the greatest... (read in full...)
Why was I ignored on Valentine's Day?
Q. My girlfriend and I currently having a long distance relationship , it transitioned to long distance only a few months ago . There is a guy where she lives that she sees often at the gym and i know they text often . Yesterday valentines day she ...
A. 16 February 2013: You do jump the gun when you assume she ignores you, just because she didn't immediately reply to your texts. And her replies aren't good enough for you, because they're apparently short. This tells me you aren't good at communicating with her. You ... (read in full...)
Do relationships go into a lull? Or is something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We stay in contact everyday and see eachother once or twice a week. Lately though, I don't hear from him as much during the day, and I'm the one asking to make plans. He's been supe...
A. 16 February 2013: "He's been busy and just felt somewhat distant. Is it normal for relationships to go into lulls like this?"
I guess this depends on the person? I mean things aren't that way for you, it's just him that's gotten "calmer" and less proactiv... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
