A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm curious about FWB and FB relationships. What exactly are they? I know what the terms stand for just need to know the differences. In a FWB relationship is there really friendship?In a FB relationship is it just do the deed and leave?Who is the one that mainly "controls" when the hookups happen? I'm finding that these relationships seem to be "controlled" more by the man. Is it normal for someone to have more than one FWB or FB? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): I think FWB has more friendship than FB. ..FB is basically just like one night stands but more than once with the same person. whereas FWB can actually be friends who are attracted to each other and have some emotional attachment but for whatever reason do not have an all-out openly committed relationship.
someone below wrote: "Women naturally tend to develop feelings for men they have sex with, whereas men are much better at keeping sex and feelings seperate, "
can someone explain this to me? I thought it's men who NEED to have sex in a relationship/marriage in order to feel loved by their partner, and who are the ones who become very miserable in a sexless marriage whereas the women can be fine without it and give their man sex out of obligation.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 January 2013):
 I agree wholeheartedly with SVC
*** For me FWB is a nice way of saying FB***
People don't seem to grasp that you do NOT FUCK your friends. So most people think that because they DO fuck a friend they have a great FWB situation, what they have is SEX with someone they know. Simple as that.
There are no strict rules when it comes to FWB/FB/NSA so sure, some people will have sex with anything with a pulse.
As for who controls them, I DO think you are right, often the guy is more in change for 1 simple reason. The girl "lets" him. She hopes that by "pleasing" him (having sex whenever), it might become more then just casual FB, from what I have seen MANY MANY females believe because they were "friends" or Friendly with a guy before HE (usually) suggested sex, that it will become more. That rarely works out.
The thing is though. If a girl wants to be in control, all she HAS to do is take control of her OWN actions and her own life.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 January 2013):
 They are basically the same. There is no real friendship in fwb, as friends as platonic. If the friendship is not platonic, then it isnt really a friendship... Besides, once you mix sex into it, whatever friendship you started with will be gone. Sexual relationships with friendship are relationships. Anything else is FB, or the more classy term "lovers".
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (4 January 2013):
On the basis of 2 years writing for this site, I don’t think there’s much actual difference. I think you’re right that there is more of an expectation of friendship alongside no-strings sex with FWB but in reality what you often get is something for which either term would be appropriate. The problem with FWB is that one person either starts out with an emotional attachment to the other partner, or develops one, and it isn’t reciprocated. That’s why they’re a bad idea as they frequently lead to hurt, upset, disappointment and rejection. People in an FWB often seem to fool themselves that they’re something other than a FB, and often the realisation that they’re not, and that like the FB set-up the relationship centres on no-strings sex is devastating. I don’t know if you’re just asking out of interest but my advice is avoid both. In either case feelings and attachments develop and somebody ends up getting hurt. Even if this doesn’t happen people tend to tire of being used like this.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2013):
 For me FWB is a nice way of saying FB
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 January 2013):
 My understanding was that the FWB normally starts with 2 friends who are attracted to each other but dont want a relationship start hooking up and add the 'benefits' part. However if you search 'FWB' on this site you will see that this isnt often the case, that 2 people will meet and become FWB often with one party hoping that the FWB will turn into a relationship. But if we are going back to the original idea of FWB, I think it is just 2 people that are already friends hooking up with no intention of having a relationship together.
As for FB, I think it is more simple at this can be between 2 people that dont know each other well, and as you said, it is just do the deed and leave, then come back for more as and when they want it. But again, the boundaries between FWB and FB are often blurred, sometimes people think they are in a FWB when really they are just FB etc etc.
As for the control side of things, it is normally the person who desires sex the most, and often that is the man. I think the main issue with FWB and FB is that women go into them thinking there is a chance the man will fall in love with her the more she gives him sex and then eventually there will be a relationship. Whereas the man goes into it knowing it is pure sex and nothing else. Women naturally tend to develop feelings for men they have sex with, whereas men are much better at keeping sex and feelings seperate, so hence why the men tend to have more control over the situation - because they are more in control of their own feelings.
Is it normal for someone to have more than one FWB or FB? Well that would depend on the individual. I personally wouldnt want to have sex with more than 1 person at a time simply because it gets complicated and you are putting your health at risk also. Plus I see no need really, the whole point of FWB and FB is when you are a bit horny you can have sex with someone easily without feelings involved. So if you have 1 FWB/FB you can satisfy your urges with them, there is no need to be going to another person to have sex with when you have already satisfied your urges with someone else.
But I'm sure people do have more than one FWB/FB, it is all down to the person.
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