A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I don't understand, but my boyfriend will touch me anywhere,(lying on my bed with clothes on!) but when I try to touch him, he moves my hand. I've mentioned it a couple of times: why don't you let me touch you and he says that he will "but not yet " I know, we are young but its harmless petting around certain areas and we ar'nt doing anything else like sex but we have recently stared doing this and its his first proper relationship and its my kind of second... Has anyone had an experience like this before? or what should I do?Please helps thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlook stop telling me not to do things its fine just back off and give me a break I am not immature and none of you know me so stay out of it not every one is a bad person just because you have had 'bad expiriences' I really wished I had never have asked for advice now because really its up to me and no one else so stop trying to 'protect me' and get on with your own lives!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhatever anyway thanks chigirl and bye :D x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell Chigirl is amazing she has answered the question without judging me and told me why he might not let me touch him without asking any irrelavant questions and with that.Thankyou Chigirl and knowing my bf he might just be shy and embarressed and I am being paranoidNow at least I feel reassured and less like some mental slag and yes I understand he is trying to keep us from ending up doing something we regret but we won't because we know what we are doing!!!!!But thankyou Chigirl!!!xx
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 December 2012):
 I'm betting he's just shy and embarassed. Some guys mature late, and at 15 many don't have pubic hair, or facial hair. Maybe don't have a low voice. They feel awkward about themselves. Maybe he gets a hard on when he touches you (most probably) and is so embarassed, and doesn't want you to feel it, so doesn't want you to touch him. Or maybe his penis is small, and he is scared to death that you will laugh of him.
All of this are normal teenage boy insecurities. It just shows that he is a young teenager, and not yet a man. He'll let you touch him once he feels he can trust you. Just give him time.
Btw, I once dated a man whos right chest muscle was smaller than his left. He was so embarassed about it that I at first wasn't allowed to touch his chest, even with clothes on. I couldn't feel or the any difference, only when he pointed it out could I see it. So even adults can be embarassed about their bodies sometimes.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 December 2012):
 He is trying to keep the "petting" from escalating into something you two can't take back. Not many teenage boy have the ability to maintain such a level of self-control when the hormones are rampant.
RESPECT him and stop goading him. He is just being a gentleman and respecting what YOUR/HIS parents set as rules.
No means no. Whether to boy says it or the girl.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, maybe I was a tad out of line about what I said... okay I get it you are all experienced but you can't go through life avoiding all possible mistakes and end up living a life not knowing whether something was a mistake or not and as everyone is asking me and my bf are both turning 15 soon me in feb and him in march, and yes I have friends and my parents are fine with whats going on aslong as we arnt having sex! which we arnt so give me a break seriously but this time I'm not going to stop things completely so don't be so over protective because you don't kniw anything about me or where I live and the people I am around, everyone is respectable and we live in a good stable place and go to a decent school at the moment its about having fun and getting to know things not awkwardly dodging scary sittuations because some poeple don't approve!
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reader, Miamine +, writes (22 December 2012):
 Has anyone experienced this? Yes of course, but most women at your age aren't so hungry. They find kissing is enough, and it's usually the man that is begging, not the woman. It does make me wonder what else in your life is lacking. Do you have friends? What about parents, do they make you feel loved and special?What should you? Follow what your guy is doing. He sounds nice, he sounds sensible and mature. He sounds like he actually wants a relationship, not some quick meaningless sex so he can boast to his buddies at school.13-15.. I hope your nearer to 15... In any case, I suggest you contact planned parenthood, because with this guy (doubtful, he's too nice) or the next guy, you'll be getting everything you want and more real soon. Not nice to bring a baby into the world just because it's mother has a itchy vagina.For some reason, you think the answer to everything is sex.. it isn't, and therefore you don't understand a nice, respectful guy who has control over his sex impulse. My prediction is you leave him, to find a guy who has "nasty sexy" with you, you will end up feeling dirty and cheap and regret it with all of your heart for as long as you live. Your guy don't want you to touch him, because he will lose control and things will go to far. He can easily touch you, because he wants to make you happy, he also loves your body, but when you touch him, his defences will break and before you know it, you'll be doing the sex thing with the problem of disease a pregnancy. As I've said, you've managed to catch yourself a very decent sensible guy.Leave this young guy alone, listen to him... otherwise leave him and go to where all the sex hungry women go to have cheap sex and a lifetime of regrets.Nope, we don't understand how you think.. but we is 40, 50, 60's, we have been there, got the tee-shirt, shed the tears and regret and regret forever.Go slow with this guy, he's a good one. He cares for you more than most men will.If you really need more, experiment with oral sex... that is lips and kisses on body parts... guaranteed satisfaction without babies.. should make your heart glad and protect you from irresponsible actions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): Here is your first lesson in maturity. If you are getting this upset over advice that "older" people are giving you, clearly you're not ready for anything serious. No one on here disrespected you or called you crazy. They simply gave you advice because we all in here have been you're age and learned from experience that obviously you don't have. If your mind is made up and we don't have a clue what we're talking about, don't ask for any advice. You do have that right. When things backfire as we all know it will. The only person responsible is you! For the record, I'm thirty six. Yes I am way older than you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): So what, is a long time, like a three weeks? Three months? Three years? Thirty years?
What do your parents teach you about dating and sexual realtionships?
Would they support you with your games of sexual exploration?
Or would they, like us adults that are loving and wise and want what is best for you both, say you are both too young?
Will you be honest about your response to us?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 December 2012):
 WHY can't you stop something that's already happenong just instantly ?
What do you mean ? Of course you can . Unless the other person is armed and dangerous.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
 Oh please I lost my virginity at 14 do you think I don't know how you feel?
since you clarified that you want to know if it's NORMAL for him to touch you as you want him to but not let you touch him the way you want or he wants?
I'm gonna be honest... no it's not normal. how old is he?
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male
reader, TheHelper96 +, writes (21 December 2012):
 We do no better. You are to young! keep to the hugs and kisses. mo more.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 December 2012):
 Yes it's a little weird that he wants to touch you but not him. However, you can't push him, you can only decide whether you are OK with being touched but not touching. You can either stop letting him touch you, or continue letting him touch you. You should also talk about it. You don't mention bringing this up with him. Have you asked him why the double standard?
"but once again everyone is 'older' and think they know better."
Why do you put in "older" in scare quotes like "allegedly" we are "older." We ARE older than you and we've all been your age and been through school and dating boys and making out and difficult and weird situations.
"you can't just STOP something thats already happening just instantly"
Actually you can. If you WANT him to touch you, keep letting him. If you are just doing it because you think you should or he wants to, them don't keep doing it. You can just stop something that's been happening. Why do you think you can't?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI give up you are all making me sound like a bad person do any of you have no grip on reality you can't just STOP something thats already happening just instantly and yes WE are BOTH keeping LEVELHEADED! I asked is this normal or has anyone experienced this, not tell me to stop everything and just HUG and KISS, that does'nt get anyone anywhere we both love each other and we want to be with each other for a long time as we have both discussed this, I know how to socialise thankyou and so does he we are not racing into things we are going step by step but once again everyone is 'older' and think they know better.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
are you LETTING him do things to you or do you WANT him to do things to you?
big difference.
don't let him do things you don't want.
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reader, Serpico +, writes (21 December 2012):
He is young yet acting responsibly. You should respect his decision.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionokayy... I'm not pressuring him and I don't keep doing it for him to move my hand (should of made that clearer) I tried it twice and I am respecting his boundaries fair enough and I don't want to rush into things I meant is this fair?... that I let him do things to me but he does not let me do things with him...? and Is this normal or not?
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
He's said NO and that's not a reflection on YOU, but you must respect his boundaries.
he's not ready.
and to be honest honey for a boy it's NOT harmless petting... he will get aroused and he may want to do things that neither of you are ready for.
He sounds mature for his age with a good head on his shoulders.
Teen relationships are for practicing social skills not sexual skills.
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reader, person12345 +, writes (21 December 2012):
Not all guys are sex maniacs, just relax. Respect his boundaries, stop pushing him, and enjoy your time together. Go on dates, enjoy each other's company. That's the point of dating. It's not a race to sex.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 December 2012):
 I suggest that you respect his limits... and let things "happen" more slowly..... and in keeping with his comfort levels......
Have fun...
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