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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Do relationships go into a lull? Or is something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We stay in contact everyday and see eachother once or twice a week. Lately though, I don't hear from him as much during the day, and I'm the one asking to make plans. He's been supe...
A. 16 February 2013: "He's been busy and just felt somewhat distant. Is it normal for relationships to go into lulls like this?"
I guess this depends on the person? I mean things aren't that way for you, it's just him that's gotten "calmer" and less proactiv... (read in full...)
I cheated after he lied, and then I found out he cheated first. He won't forgive me. Help!
Q. So long story as short as possible: Last month I found out (through snooping) that my boyfriend of three years was using cocaine last year, and I found a bag of prescription drugs in his belongings. When I found the cocaine he called me a nosy ...
A. 16 February 2013: Take a deep breath. Ask yourself: what type of relationship do I want? How do I want to be treated in a relationship, and how do I want to treat a boyfriend of mine? How do I want to feel in my ideal relationship? Do I want to feel happy, calm, and ... (read in full...)
What makes for a successful relationship?
Q. What are the attributes you look in a relationship that it will work. What make relationships successful and what things to look as traits that make it worthy and long lasting?? I am hurt and being cheated upon so I need help to find the ri...
A. 16 February 2013: Traits to look for (basic essential foundations):
-someone who fights fair
-someone who knows what they want and can express themselves
-someone who doesn't lie (not even about small things, because people who lie about small things also lie ... (read in full...)
After all these years should I try to apologize for my behavior?
Q. I would appreciate some advice regarding an ex 'girlfriend', over whom I have some feelings of guilt. She was the first girl I ever kissed, when I was 15 and she was 14. We went to the same school and although we didn't know each other there, I'd...
A. 16 February 2013: It's been so long I really don't think there's any need to apologize. You were young, she was young, it's how young folks are. You didn't do anything particularly bad either, you were scared and you didn't know better. You didn't intend to hurt her, ... (read in full...)
What happened here on Dear Cupid, guys? What's so bad about trying to fix a relationship rather than just jumping immediately to divorce?
Q. I've been coming on this site since I was 16 and used to get great, friendly advice on how I should handle my relationship problems. I came here looking first solution to fix things. I don't know what happened in the past three years, but friendly ...
A. 16 February 2013: People get judged. It's not something that has started to happen recently, it's in human behaviour to judge those who we think are different, or to judge those who have it better than ourselves so we can feel better by dragging them down.
There... (read in full...)
Why is he being so distant after having sex?
Q. So my best friend told me over the Christmas holidays that he has liked me for a long time but never had the courage which was fantastic because I really liked him too. We started hanging out more at school and going to the movies. I was still sort ...
A. 16 February 2013: Oh man.. You've been fooled big time. This guy, I guess he's the same age as you? He basically doesn't respect you, because if he did he would NEVER tell you to have a "relationship without being a girlfriend". A man who actually cares for you, and ... (read in full...)
How much time should you know a person before taking a move for dating/relationship?
Q. Hello, I am 21 studying at university. I wanted to ask about how much time you should know a person before taking a move for dating/relationship?? And how do you show you are interested and take the move?? please share your views and ex...
A. 13 February 2013: I wanted to ask about how much time you should know a person before taking a move for dating/relationship??
-This varies a lot. Depending on what type of person you are on what type of person she is, and on what type of connection you have. Yo... (read in full...)
He's married. We're strongly attracted. I even told his wife nothing was 'going on'. I want to have sex with him, should I?
Q. Hi...this is my first time seeking advice through the internet. I'm almost 20 years old. I applied for a job at a restaurant and I got the job and the general manager is 37. During the interview we made deeply eye contact and then once he...
A. 11 February 2013: Never mind the fact that he is married. He is your boss. This is sexual harassment. It never occurred to you that the reason he hired you might have been because he WANTED to have sex with you? And that from that moment on he's been seducing you and ... (read in full...)
My husband respects my bisexuality. How can I repair the rift, now that my daughter knows the truth?
Q. I'm bisexual and have been married to an amazing man for 19 years. My husband respects my sexuality and has always been supportive of my need to also have a significant woman friend. It is never a threesome situation. We have kept this private from...
A. 10 February 2013: One solution might be to let her dad talk to her and explain things, so she knows he approves of this. Otherwise there's a high chance she'll resent you for not being faithful to her father. Her idea of loyalty will be different from your idea of ... (read in full...)
My husband respects my bisexuality. How can I repair the rift, now that my daughter knows the truth?
Q. I'm bisexual and have been married to an amazing man for 19 years. My husband respects my sexuality and has always been supportive of my need to also have a significant woman friend. It is never a threesome situation. We have kept this private from...
A. 10 February 2013: "am I selfish for having been bisexual while married?"
You're not selfish for being bisexual, but you have been in an open marriage where you've had partners outside of marriage. Your husband knows and approves, so it's not cheating, but there's ... (read in full...)
Do I break my heart and never know? Or tell my crush my feelings for him on Valentine's day?
Q. I have been stuck with this for over a year and a half now. I have developed strong emotions towards a guyfriend I've known for nearly 10 years. Never thought itd turn out this way. I don't know if he shares those same feelings. I've always heard ...
A. 6 February 2013: In either case... You got to let him know how you feel.... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 6 February 2013: Real people dont play games. Only fakes do that. ... (read in full...)
My experience of an LDR has been flawed by his need for a FWB as well. I refused the latter. Can LDR partners stay faithful?
Q. can people mix up long distance friends with benefits relationship with a committed faithful long distance relationship meaning? I was in a long distance relationship and thought he was faithful for the year prior to my trip to meet him. He ke...
A. 6 February 2013: You seem to assume quite a lot, rather than ask direct questions and get direct answers. You assume he wanted a friends with benefits situation, you assumed he was asking you for permission to be in one, you assume he took your reply to mean you ... (read in full...)
He re-arranged my furniture because his kids wanted it that way! They were guests, surely they should have left it alone?
Q. Please help. I have stayed over at boyfriends place before, when his two kids of 9 and 7 were visiting as well. (They live with their mum.) There were no real problems. He had some time off to look after them when they had a couple of days off ...
A. 5 February 2013: Hmm, guess the OP needs to decide what's more important to her, keeping the peace in the relationship, or keeping her furniture in their firm place. Guess that depends on how much this man means to her and how much she wants him to be part of her ... (read in full...)
He re-arranged my furniture because his kids wanted it that way! They were guests, surely they should have left it alone?
Q. Please help. I have stayed over at boyfriends place before, when his two kids of 9 and 7 were visiting as well. (They live with their mum.) There were no real problems. He had some time off to look after them when they had a couple of days off ...
A. 5 February 2013: @ Cindy, wouldn't such an argument just create MORE trouble? I mean you'd basically be telling him he's not going a good job raising his children. And that, I believe, ranks on the top of worst things you can tell a parent. If the OP disagrees with ... (read in full...)
He re-arranged my furniture because his kids wanted it that way! They were guests, surely they should have left it alone?
Q. Please help. I have stayed over at boyfriends place before, when his two kids of 9 and 7 were visiting as well. (They live with their mum.) There were no real problems. He had some time off to look after them when they had a couple of days off ...
A. 5 February 2013: "They were guests, shouldn't they leave things as they are?"
Your house isn't a hotel-room, and even there you can still move the furniture around without meaning the staff will scream and yell at you.
It's just furniture in a spare room. You ... (read in full...)
Scared of raising a child alone and not giving him/her what they deserve...
Q. Im 24 pregnant, one year left to finish my bachelor degree. The father and I are not together he is 27 and assured me that he will be here 100% with whatever I choose to do. Im scared because Im afraid of raising my child alone and not having that ...
A. 5 February 2013: Are you religious? You could talk to a priest for guidance.
If abortion is an option for you, then there are contact centers around in most countries. I would suggest you contact your doctor first to have a talk, and your doctor will be able to ... (read in full...)
If the Past is the Past with regards to Sexual History, why do some keep in touch
Q. Hello, this site has been great for me and my relationship over the past months. Been reading many other post over many months and one thing seems to stick out or contradict each other. So just wanted to hear some thoughts on this. My ques...
A. 4 February 2013: The reason you don't discuss your previous sex life with your new partner is .. who wants to know?? Really? Who wants to picture the person they recently fell head over heels for, going down on someone else? Just the thought makes us sick and feel ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 4 February 2013: If you put your future child above yourself you'd see that having a child at your age is being nothing but selfish. The child will be so much better off if you wait until you can afford to give it a good upbringing. Children need more than love and ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 3 February 2013: Yes.
If you want to have children you need to be an adult. If you are an adult you will be living on your own, making your own money, and getting by on your own. Unless you are an adult you can not have children. Children can not have children... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lies to me about masturbating
Q. Well i will just hop into it. My boyfriend of 4 years likes to masturbate , which what guy and girl doesnt. I dont mind it, Im actually turned on by it. I dont like that he lies to me and says he never,not even once a year, does it. Idk why he lies ...
A. 3 February 2013: It sounds like he's got some mental thing wrapped up about his masturbation. It's not good to lie about it (sign that he is ashamed of it). To be so ashamed of it.. well.. it is a hint that there might be deeper psychological factors playing into ... (read in full...)
Are relationships that exist with absolutely NO violence towards one another?
Q. Aunts and Uncles... Have any of you (honest answers please) had a physical fight with your current spouse? I just want to know if there are relationships that exist with absolutely NO violence towards one another. Again, please be honest. Th...
A. 3 February 2013: Non-violent relationships exist! Yes! I assure you they do! Peaceful and calm relationships exist.
You did slap him, but when it comes down it it doesn't matter who hit first, because being hit is still never an excuse to hit back. And his size... (read in full...)
Are relationships that exist with absolutely NO violence towards one another?
Q. Aunts and Uncles... Have any of you (honest answers please) had a physical fight with your current spouse? I just want to know if there are relationships that exist with absolutely NO violence towards one another. Again, please be honest. Th...
A. 3 February 2013: Yes, there are relationships with no violence. My first relationship had no violence in it (although we were fighting ugly, we fought with words). My current relationship doesn't have violence of any sort. No name calling, no aggression. The worst ... (read in full...)
Am I bi or straight?
Q. I feel a bit puzzle about my sexual orientation. I am attracted to guys, I have crushes on a lot of guys. But at the same time, I do have crushes on girls. I think i am sexually aroused by guys. But when I see girls who are pretty, I will be become ...
A. 3 February 2013: You do want to have sex with her, I'm guessing you actually DON'T think two women having sex is disgusting, you just say that because you've been taught to think that (your parents are conservative I guess).
Try have sex with a woman and THEN you... (read in full...)
Is looking at porn the morning after you've slept with your girlfriend, a bit odd and uncalled for?
Q. Would anyone else agree with this? Looking at porn the morning after you've slept with your girlfriend is a bit odd and uncalled for? Why would they want to look at someone else that soon?...
A. 2 February 2013: It's not weird.. I'm not sure what you're aiming at. You think that after having had sex, one should not feel any sexual desire for the next.. oh say.. 72 hours?
People have different sexual drives, some want it several times a day, some want it ... (read in full...)
how can one person think your soul mates and the other not?
Q. hi, ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months. Over the last few months ive been doubting as to whether we are right for eachother or not. We don't have a lot in common an have very different opinions on things. And I dont feel my personality is at ...
A. 2 February 2013: "He tells me i'm his soulmate and he doesnt care what happens in his life as long as we're together. "
Insecurity. He confesses profound love in the hopes that this will make you stay, because he is not sure he himself will be enough to keep you... (read in full...)
My ex is asking me to give him another chance but he won't finish with his girlfriend. What should I do?
Q. I need some advise. Me and my ex bf of 6 years broke up about 2 years ago due to arguments. He has a new gf who he has been with for the 2 years, but throughout the 2 years he has been emailing me, texting me asking me to meet him saying he is th...
A. 2 February 2013: "My ex is asking me to give him another chance but he won't finish with his girlfriend. What should I do?"
You say no and stop contacting him. There's a reason you broke up, and now you have yet another reason to never date him again: he's a t... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable still living at home at 27 but its a necessity right now. Any advice?
Q. I am currently 27 and living with my parents. I am doing it while I sort out my finances which are a mess (long story short, I took out a loan with my ex fiancé to help him clear his massive debts but he committed suicide shortly afterwards leaving ...
A. 1 February 2013: " I'm still living like a teenager while all my friends are moving into lovely houses and living as adults"
You're not living like a teenager. You've gone thorugh something terrible, and that is how you live.. as a person who is dealing, and actu... (read in full...)
Now that her mom is sick, she only has time for her friends. Should I end things?
Q. Hi I've been seeing a girl for nearly 2 years,she is great and everything but recently her mother has become ill, so she has to look after her. Now i ask to see her but she always says shes busy looking after mum, but she goes to the cinema once ...
A. 1 February 2013: Look to her actions. She obviously does have time, she just chooses to spend it with friends. Have you seriously talked to her about this? You need to talk to her before you end things and at least ask her why she is not prioritizing the ... (read in full...)
How do I handle girls flirting with my boyfriend in front of me?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles! My question is : how to hande girls flirting with my boyfriend in front of me? See, today I went to a bank with my boyfriend, we are very serious, and he really wants to be married and wants me to meet his parents. He i...
A. 31 January 2013: You're not supposed to do anything. You ignore it. If it bothers you so much you should talk to your boyfriend and say you were bothered by it. So maybe next time, he shouldn't respond with anything.
I actually think you are reading too much int... (read in full...)
I hate that my boyfriend said his best vacation was with his ex! Should I be mad?
Q. Hi everyone, we talked with my bf the other day about spending some summer vacation together. We want to go to the sea, because we haven´t been by the sea for a long time. My BF told me he was by the sea few years ago and it was the best, most ama...
A. 31 January 2013: "And now it will be a lot of pressure at me to make the vacation amazing,,because if it´s not, the one with his ex will remain still the best..(author)"
It is NOT a competition, and you need to stop thinking it is. Or else your competit... (read in full...)
How can I stop torturing myself thinking about the night my b/f had sex with another girl
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. A year into our relationship we had some bad problems, mainly that my boyfriend hated the fact that I was friends with my ex and he became convinced I was going to cheat on him with him. (I never did not ...
A. 31 January 2013: "Technically - not cheating since we were "broken up"" No, not "technically not cheating". It wasn't cheating. You were broken up. He was devastated. First thing he did was go to a bar and hook up because he was heartbroken and down, thinking t... (read in full...)
How can people have sex with the same person and not get bored?
Q. I am still a virgin so I have no knowledge of such things, but it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring, kind of like watching the same movie over and over and over again. Assuming that ...
A. 31 January 2013: Well, if you think of it as purely mechanical it IS the same thing over and over. But the same problem occurs if you change partner. It would still be yet another vagina, and yet another girl. If you focus purely on the sexual aspect, and not the ... (read in full...)
How can I help my husband have better communication skills?
Q. I post this question if anione know of any service s that help with communication skills. My husband is a very nice man, and most of the time we get alone. The way he communicates with people around him and his customers needs improvement. He is a ...
A. 31 January 2013: "It embarrasses me, but when I try to point it out to him, he refuses to believe me." The manner in which he speaks to other people is HIS problem. Stop making it your problem. If he wants to be detailed, and if he bores people, then it is up to... (read in full...)
I hate that my boyfriend said his best vacation was with his ex! Should I be mad?
Q. Hi everyone, we talked with my bf the other day about spending some summer vacation together. We want to go to the sea, because we haven´t been by the sea for a long time. My BF told me he was by the sea few years ago and it was the best, most ama...
A. 30 January 2013: He didn't spend his "best vacation with his ex", he spent his best vacation by the sea, and now he wants to return to.. :the sea. If it was the ex that made it so great he'd want to return to.. :the ex.
You don't have a right to be mad, and btw ... (read in full...)
How long should you wait in the ambiguous friends/dating zone, before you give up on the idea of a relationship?
Q. So I meet a guy by chance at a coffee shop a few months ago, he gives me his number and we start dating. We date for a month, and then he just stops calling for no reason. I’m a bit bummed, because I really liked him… but it was still early in the ...
A. 30 January 2013: "How long should you wait in the ambiguous friends/dating zone, before you give up on the idea of a relationship?"
Wait? Yo ushouldn't WAIT. You either pursue, or you give up and walk away. You never sit around and wait. Wait for what? For a mi... (read in full...)
Why do people have to make comments that are hurtful?
Q. Dear Cupid, The other night I was talking to this guy that I know fairly well but is still considered an acquaintance. We were texting and he asked "why do you wear so much makeup? Not to say you look bad but i'm sure you're pretty naturally...
A. 30 January 2013: "But when I get that once in a blue moon negative comment it just puts me off and hurts me. "
It wasn't a negative comment. He was giving you a compliment. I think the reason why you took it as something negative is because you yourself, deep dow... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 30 January 2013: I think maybe you'd need to have been on a real bad first date, in order to get some perspective. So I will share with you that one date I was on, the man didn't speak to me at all. He sat in silence. Didn't utter a word. Granted, it was a blind ... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 30 January 2013: In my opinion, farting is something you do in private at the toilet, and not in front of others. No matter how long you've been married/living together. But some people have bad habits, some people have upset stomachs, some people just ate something ... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 30 January 2013: In my opinion, farting is something you do in private at the toilet, and not in front of others. No matter how long you've been married/living together. But some people have bad habits, some people have upset stomachs, some people just ate something ... (read in full...)
1st date--he chewed gum with his mouth open and has small hands. Should I move on?
Q. I went on a first date with a man last night, he seemed alright, ok looking, we got on well, he sent me a nice message saying how nice I was after. But he chewed gym with his mouth open, not nice. And I noticed he had small hands - could this mea...
A. 29 January 2013: "And I noticed he had small hands - could this mean a small penis??!"
You're too old to be buying into that "small hands, small feet, small penis" theory. No... the size of hands and feet say absolutely nothing about the size of the penis. ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
