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Does anyone else have to pay board to their parents?

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Question - (27 January 2013) 25 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2013)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, just a quick question!

I am 20 years old, and have just moved back home. My parents have asked me to contribute $100 a week, for rent/bills/food.

I work full-time, making about $600 (aus) a week. I also have my phone bill to pay, as well as small installments for my car, along with petrol/insurance/rego etc..

My parents earn a below average income.. so would you say this is fair, or is the price a little high? Does anyone else have to pay board to parents?

Thanks :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013):

It appears a bit high because they are your parents but in reality, could you get accomodation and food and bils all for the same price? I doubt it.

Could you strike a deal to lower the rent a bit by by helping out mum? washing, cleaning, shopping, cooking etc?

Could you reduce it by providing your own food and cooking it?

Do you have your own broadband etc?

Electric be very careful with.

There is another point of view you could take.

Parents you wanted me, goo goo goo! I never even asked to be born so you take care of me.

All depends if you want to be a young independant woman, who can take care of herself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013):

$100 is extremely reasonable and quite cheap in my opinion.

I'm your age and I don't pay board, however I do not have as much freedom as my friends that do pay board. Paying board aknowledges your freedom and responsibility as an adult. I don't pay board, which doesn't mean I'm irresponsible, but I certainly do need to follow my parents rules as long as I'm living under their house. You on the other hand have more freedom despite more responsibility. There's pros and cons to both. Best wishes!

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (30 January 2013):

If you dont think its "fair," then you have every right to go out into the free market and pay the "fair" market price.

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A male reader, justaguy71 Australia +, writes (30 January 2013):

If you don't like paying board there are plenty of share houses on gumtree for like $150 with bills included! I think $100 is a bit high in my opinion, tell then you can only afford $50 )

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013):

Yes of course they do! I pay £60 (British) per week and I earn about £250 per week. It would be unfair in any situation to have 3 adults living in a house and working full time, while only 2 of them paid towards it. Particularly when the two paying are struggling to do so. I am personally happy to help my parents out. Not only is it fair, it's also a thank you for all of the things they have done for me over the years.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013):

"My parents earn a below average income.. so would you say this is fair, or is the price a little high?"

I would think you would want to help pull your own weight given your parents' income, yet I'm guessing they're charging rent more to instill a sense of financial discipline and responsibility as well as give you an incentive to begin making long-term plans, including eventually finding your own place.

"Does anyone else have to pay board to parents?"

I didn't, and in retrospect my well-intentioned late parents didn't do me any favors by allowing me to live like a teenage slacker well into my twenties. My parents didn't need me to contribute financially for their benefit, but looking back I needed to make a contribution to them for my benefit.

Believe me, in a very short time you'll realize your parents are doing you a big favor and that they are showing they really do love you because they genuinely want what's best for you, and their responsibility is to prepare you to live independently as a contributing, productive member of society.

I will be absolutely stunned, shocked and surprised if you don't do the same with your young adult children in about in twenty-five or thirty years or so.

As my mother so often said many years ago, "I wish that was my biggest problem when I was your age. Your father and I had to live through the Depression and World War II!" She was absolutely right, I didn't know how good I had it then but I do now. Hopefully you won't need as much time as I did to appreciate your parents' sacrifices for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013):

I dont think you should pay at all. Would you charge your parents if they lived in your house if you already paid for it? Thats whats families are for, to be kind to each other and not charge their children for a room. If you buy food for you and themsometimes, or a detegrent for the whole family once a month, just contribute a little, that should be enough.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (27 January 2013):

chigirl agony auntA lot of people point out that if you work full time you'd be expected to pay, so I wanted to point out that I was studying full time (finishing high school), and I STILL paid rent.

Where did I get the money? I got my child care money from my dad sent directly to me instead of to my mother, and support from the government. I did however look for part time work in addition (didn't find a job at 16, but I intended to work).

My boyfriend gets stuff for free from his parents, and where has that got him? He's uncapable of managing his finances, always runs short at the end of the month because he doesn't know how to budget, and the worst thing that happens to him if he runs short is that his parents give him more money. They're not exacly doing him any favours. Funny thing is he earns the exact same as me, yet I live comfortably and can save up money to eventually buy a house, whereas he's always short. At the end of the month he just scrapes by, living on the contributions of others or thin air. During my studying I saved up twice as much as he did, when he was working full time and earning more than I was. Financially, I kick his butt.

And you know what, it's all because I learned how to be an adult real fast, whereas he's still being treated as a child by his parents. You choose, who would you rather be (financially speaking)?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (27 January 2013):

chigirl agony auntPardon me but how spoiled are the kids in your neighborhood? Yes, everyone I know who is above 18 and is still living with their parents pay rent, and usually a lot more than what you're currently paying. When I first moved out of home at 16 I had about 6000 NOK a month, and paid 2000 NOK to my aunt where I rented a room. That was not at all outrageous, and I still paid for my own food on top of that. You are paying squat. In addition I guess you're getting free food, free internet, free electricity too? And your mother does the laundry and cooking perhaps?

If your bills are too hight then you need to get on a budget and stop using so much money. There's no where else where you'd be getting a lower rent. So if you are an adult, and after 18 you ARE by the law in almost every country on the globe... then you need to pay your rent. Lucky you, you've got parents who can let you live with them, and for so little every month as well.

As an adult YOU are responsible for yourself. If your parents do you any favours now, once you're an adult, then they are being nice. They are not expected to do things for you just because they are your parents. Imagine if you were 40 years old, would you still expect things from them that you expect now? No? Well, you are an adult now, so you shouldn't expect the same as when you were a child. If your parents charge you rent they are doing you a favour, teaching you about responsibility and how to budget. Without this knowledge you will be screwed later on.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIf you are working full time I think you should be paying rent.

I also know if I had a child living at home working full time paying rent I would take that rent and put it away for them so when they did move out I could give them a lovely nest egg to start their adult life with.

In addition, if they lived at home at age 20 opting not to attend school full time, but would rather work full time, they would have to pay rent. It's what adults do.

IF your parents need the help then I doubt they can do that for you. So don't count on it.

How much would an apartment with a roommate run? How much would utilities run? how about food and transportation?

oh do you have to clean your bathroom and do all the laundry or just your own clothes?

Lots of kids who work full time live at home... what they seem to forget is that it costs parents (who to be honest once they are over 18 owe them nothing) money to feed, and house you....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (27 January 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI moved out when I was 18 and spend a year abroad, when I got home I paid rent/food while I was working, when I started back in college I didn't. Then a year after I got home I met my first BF and we moved in together 4 1/2 years later we broke up and I temporarily moved back in with my parents, and YES I paid for room and food.

Why shouldn't you help pay? You are old enough to find a place of your own if you don't like it. How many places can you go find where you can get rent & food for $100?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 January 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntYour parents sound like rational people to me and your alternative is? 1.) mooching?, 2.) living on the street?,lving off of someone else?) Growing up is hard to do and it costs money.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2013):

It’s very fair, you’re an adult so they aren’t now responsible for your upkeep anymore and if you choose to live at home you should expect to contribute some of your earnings to the people that are putting you up. As others have said, you’re saving a fortune paying this rent to your parents as commercially it would cost you a lot more.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2013):

oldbag agony auntHi

If you had your own place it would cost you alot more so your gaining here.

They don't have to subsidise your living arrangements,they raised you,their jobs done, time to accept thats what it costs to live there.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013):

Yeah thats about what i pay because it counts for heating and electricity aswell so it doesnt sound that unreasonable.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (27 January 2013):

CindyCares agony auntIn euros it would be around 70 -75 euros a week. Extremely cheap. More like a symbolic contribution than a real help- just so you don't get too comfy and don't take everything for granted and as due to you.

As for " having " to pay board when it's not a technically necessity, i.e. when parents could easily afford to do without your help, well I would not put it this way. I think that most adult children living at home and earning a decent salary, as in your case, would WANT , even would insist for, making a contribution toward their upkeep.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013):

I kind of disagree with many answers here. It depends in what country we can talk about fairness. There are traditions and different cultures.

Of course in States, you would need to pay, everyone here charging everyone. A boyfriend fixing his girlfriends car, and she is paying for it. I heard that too.

In "normal" families to my understanding, parents would want their child to have more money and to help their child out, doesn't matter how much money they make. At least they wouldn't make their child to pay for something they are already paying, like a house or apartment. They would still pay it, no matter what, whether you live with them or not.they would still pay utilities with or without you.

Of course you probably would pay more ,if you lived separately, but why even mention that? There is a reason why you moved back, and I m pretty sure it's finances.

At 20 you are doing very good with your job at such a young age. Your parent are obviously proud of you, they need to be. How many 20 years old make so much money? Not many. And here is a good chance for you to save a bit for the future by moving back with your parents.

You are taking care of your bills, that should be enough for your parents.

Frankly, I I would never charge my daughter for living expences. I would be very happy that she is being 20 years, not asking me for money, and I would be very happy if she chosen to live with me.

Lots of answers here indicated that it will build a character in you. You alreAdy have a character by working and making good money and paying your car.

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A female reader, Patches242 United States +, writes (27 January 2013):

Patches242 agony auntThis is more than fair, super cheap compared to managing on ur own!! My kids always paid about the same when living at home after 18 yo - and out of high school.

Please don't assume this is because your parents income is below average, $100 a week? You can't do better or you would be! And to boot ur at home where the management of getting the food and paying of bills is being done by them!

I helped my kids when really necessary, as I would have when they didn't live with me. If they were Working and college made no difference...tough choices make you more mature.

Paying your dues. You'll appreciate it..all of my kids have come back and thanked me for having expectations from them...as in real life!

Good luck!

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2013):

k_c100 agony auntMost children who have full time jobs who choose to move back with their parents have to pay board, and what your parents are asking for is very cheap.

Imagine if you were living on your own, paying rent - that would be WAY more than $100 per week, so think yourself very lucky that your parents are kind enough to a) let you stay at home and b) are letting you stay so cheaply.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (27 January 2013):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI always paid board, and my kids. Daughter was with me recently for 2 years, studying, paid $100 per week and bought her own toileries .... shared cooking and other household chores.

A friend rents out a room in her house, her lodger pays $175, room only, included utilities except internet connection.

$100 out of $600 per week for full board is extremely cheap, you need to recognise your parents are still subsidising you quite heavily.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013):

A$ is about equal to US$ so...not sure of rental prices down under, but that is less than half of what you would pay for rent of a studio apt here in America. Hell yes that's fair. Man up!

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntSounds like they can't afford to subsidise your food, water, electricity, etc. so yes, you should expect to pay board.

How does the price compare to if you rented a room in a house/ apartment in your area?

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A male reader, Hennessy1989 United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2013):

Hennessy1989 agony auntSince I left school at 16 I've paid 50/60 pounds a week for about 4 years when I was earning an average of 200/250 pounds a week, now I'm older I pay a bit more. I think it sounds like you've got an average/ok deal, could be better but could be a lot worse.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (27 January 2013):

Illithid agony auntI'd say it's fair. When I finished full-time school, I started paying rent to my parents. While making about $500 / week, I paid them $200 / month, so if anything you've got a good deal going.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013):

That is a fair amount to pay. The fact that you have car/rego/insurance does not matter in regards to what you pay for board, and a phone bill even less so. $100 a week is very fair.

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