A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm here for some advice about my sex drive/low libido whatever you want to name it. I'm 20 years old been with my boyfriend for 10 months. I'm a virgin he isn't. So our sex life isn't brilliant but our relationship is great except for the sexual part. He's very keen on doing stuff, whereas I'm not. I'm beginning to think that I have no sex drive. My boyfriend uses his fingers with me a lot but it doesn't seem to do anything much really and when he does I feel like I'm gonna fart or something lol, so I tell him to stop. Also it feels uncomfortable like it shouldn't be there or something. About 4-5 months ago I was nearly ready for sex. But he wanted me on contraceptive then something made me not want to. Don't know what it was.I'm on the contraceptive injection now and I'm beginning to blame that for it. I'm deciding that I'm not going to continue with it. So I was wondering if, there was any sort of vitamins or remedies I can take or use, to help boost my ever so low libido. I've heard certain foods help, but unfortunately I'm a fussy eater so that's out of the question.So if you can tell me of vitamins or remedies it would be a HUGE help. And if you can tell me why else my libido might be so low. Thanks!
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 January 2013):
 There are lots of reasons a woman might have a low sex drive. There are yet more reasons why she might not lubricate.
But before we send you to a doctor, do you masturbate? Ever? And then did things work as expected?
Another post a bit higher tells of a gf afraid to pee during sex. This is for a lot of women how it feels like before orgasm. I never heard about farting being a feeling as result of fingering but could it be something like that?
The easiest way to test this is on your own, do the same and then... well risk rattling the windows. On your own, there is no need to be ashamed and you can go at your own pace.
Also, vaginal stimulation isn't enough or even does anything much at all for some women. How about other parts of your body? General touching? Kissing? It is generally good advice not just to walk up to a girl and shove your fingers inside. It ain't an on switch. Unless you are ready/aroused, it doesn't do anything. This is the reason why women riding horses are not constantly having orgasms... oh wait they are...
Anyway, if you are dry and non-aroused, it is no suprise it doesn't feel good or much at all. Or women would be coming all over the doctors speculum. To say nothing of child birth.
As so4chaotic said, sounds like you are not ready and he isn't doing it right. Do you have doubts about the relationship? Your own body? Does he go to fast?
If there was a pill for boosting libido, it would be on every supermarket shelf. There isn't. Viagra just gets the penis erect and there is (not yet) a female Viagra precisely because if a woman has trouble with the physical part, she can just lube, but making people aroused with a pill is not yet possible.
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (28 January 2013):
 Any kind of hormonal contraception can alter your libido, you could talk to your doctor about different options.
I'm sure once you have sex and you and your boyfriend start to understand each others bodies more you will look forward to it and enjoy it. Takes a while to work our what you like sexually. You don't miss what you've never had.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 January 2013):
 You do have a sex drive, you're just a virgin that's all. You're not feeling ready for sex.
When my boyfriend was a virgin he'd go for months at a time without even thinking about sex, or craving it, or feeling a need for it. He spent a year and a half in the army and I asked him if it wasn't somewhat bothersome to never have any privacy, and he said he hadn't actually given it any thought. He just didn't have that "need". Now he says it's because he didn't know what he was missing out on.
I guess it's like before I learned how to bring myself to an orgasm. I didn't have a desire to masturbate because it never got me anywhere, and didn't really do anything special. So I'd masturbate about... once a year? Now, since I learned how to do it, it's several times a week.
" Also it feels uncomfortable like it shouldn't be there or something" He's doing it wrong. Don't be too hard on him though, few guys know how to finger. But you got to tell him it's not working for you.
"I'm on the contraceptive injection now and I'm beginning to blame that for it." Oh yeah the injection is to blame. When I tried the injection I had close to zero appetite for sex, I didn't even care to masturbate. Some people are fine with he injection, but it is also common for women to lose their libido. It'll come back as soon as you get the hormones out of your system. Try birth control pills instead, the hormones don't stay in you for so long, so if you have a bad reaction to them you can change pills.
Then, in general, you need to be healthy. If you've got poor health it's natural for your libido to get affected. If you are a picky eater, maybe you aren't getting enough nutriants. Basically, maybe you should take vitamins of all sorts.
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A
female
reader, so4chaotic  +, writes (28 January 2013):
It may be that you aren't ready. You don't feel comfortable with him around your body or having sex just yet? You should be on birth control. The shot is tricky if you don't get it at the right times or if you take something for this low libido as you call it could cancel out your bc. Make sure you use condomns and contraceptive. You should as your doctor to get you something that works for you.
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