A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am having a sexual problem.Basically I can't cum when I have sex. Condom or no condom. This is over multiple partners over about two years of being sexually active. So far I've never been able to cum with a partner.I'm not sure if it's a physical or mental one. Not sure what to do. Hopefully I can get some advice.Not sure what else to say.Thanks for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would say on average its about a month of dating and getting to know each other before sex.
Masterbating takes just as long as sex if not longer.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 August 2014):
 What is the lenght of your relationships? And how early into a new relationship do you introduce sex? If you are able to orgasm through masturbation or wet dreams, then the problem is not physical, but psychological. My bet is that you either masturbate too frequently and have "numbed" yourself, or that you need time to trust a new partner and are rushing sex in new relationships. Try to hold back and develop a bond between yourself and a new partner, before having sex. A lack of trust in a partner is often the cause for such problems. It means you just need to give it time and get to know your partner and learn to trust them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): I don't know, but I'll tell you, it makes me feel good hearing that a male is having trouble. I've also never been able to cum with a partner, but that's more common with women. For me, I just can't get in the right position or get enough of the right kind of stimulation to be cum with a partner. I've investigated whether it is psychological for me, and I have rejected that claim, as I love sex but simply cannot climax with a partner. For me, I think it is just my physiology.
If you feel the same--you can't get in the right position or get the right stimulation--then I guess it's physical for you too. If not--if you can climax in different positions or whatever when you are alone--then it is probably psychological. You didn't specify, but if you have also had problems climaxing with oral but are fine on your own, then I would say you are definitely having a psychological problem. Try masturbating in front of your partner and see if that helps you get over some kind of psychological block.
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