A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are both 24 and we're serious about each other. We want to marry soon and can't imagine life without each other but there is one issue that is distressing me. I've actually saved myself for marriage....I haven't kissed or had sex with anyone because I believe that is only for my husband. Now my boyfriend is still a virgin but he has kissed a girl in his teenage years. I feel heartbroken when I think about it and reading things online makes it worse because people have written things like the first kiss butterflies are the best and you can't get them ever again. That upsets me and makes me feel that perhaps I won't be able to give him that feeling again because he's already done it....If I can't be his first kiss then I want to at least be his best kiss but it doesn't seem possible. This is affecting me so much and I can't seem to let go of it. What can I do? :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): I know it's scary but you don't need to worry! Yes, he may have kissed someone before. Maybe more than one someone. But that person wasn't YOU. YOU are the one he loves. His very first kiss may have been filled with butterflies and the anticipation of a high school crush, but assuming that he wants to marry you his feelings for you are so much deeper. This will make your kiss so much more special, in a way that he hasn't experienced before.
As for what everyone always says about that first kiss, as someone said in a response before me, they are not usually referring to your first kiss ever but rather every first kiss you have with a new person.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 August 2014):
 You already got answers to this. You have misunderstood it all! What people write/say is about your first kiss with a new partner! Not first kiss ever. And besides, thats just how some people feel about it, definitely not everyone. Its NOT a fact, so stop treating it like one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2014): Wow you really good waited that long. That's really sweet. I had my first KIIS when I was 14. And trust me not all first kisses are magical. I thought it was supposed to feel different then it did. So I didn't like kissing for a while because of it.and come on girl I'm sure your beautiful. Awesome person. I don't think you should reminisce about a girl he kissed when he was a teenager having a better kiss then you. He's gonna marry you not her. He loves you enough to be respect that you want your first kiss to be on your wedding day that is the cutest thing I've ever heard. Trust me on this once you say I do none of this will matter you will have your first kiss and you will knock his socks off girl. Not too many people get to say my first kiss was with my soulmate. So cherish the moment don't let annoying thoughts get to you .
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A
female
reader, Behavioural Analysis +, writes (23 August 2014):
 Please see a counsellor. You realise that his best kiss will ultimately be with whomever he chooses to marry, just like yours will be. You may not marry this guy, so you will love your future husband enough to feel like your best ever kiss emotionally is with him because you love him so much. Technically, it may not be the best, but it really isn't a competition because you are who he's with.
Now, I'm not against people staying a virgin until marriage, if they wish to do so, but I do think it's a little silly to only kiss whomever you marry because there really is nothing wrong with kissing a man you are in love with. Imagine you marry him, kiss, have sex - then get divorced. Will you never kiss or have sex again because you're no longer with the husband you saved yourself for? Kissing can be passionate without being full on sexual enough to tempt you to go further. I'm not saying have sex, but kissing is a big part of what distinguishes a relationship from a close friendship.
I seem to remember a post from you a day or two ago about this kissing situation? You really need a counsellor to talk it over with if you can't move on from the insecurity on your own.
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