A
female
age
30-35,
*nne_L
writes:I just recently got out of a relationship with a man I was with for a year. He didn't break up with me formally. We had our last date then he ignored me and gave me the silent treatment until I realized (a month later) that this was his cowardly way of telling me it's over. He is dating some one else now, making his sappy adoration for her public on social media. During the heartache of the sudden rejection I laid with a friend of mine that I know for some years from college and have laid with in the past during my bouts of singlehood loneliness. Almost two weeks ago we met up and had sex but his condom slipped without me knowing or feeling it and although he knew, he kept on going and basically ejaculated into me completely unprotected.Two hours later he texts me stating that he's sorry for handling things poorly. Yet jokes about emptying his baby maker after being "backed up" for ages and to boot very non chalantly asks me if I'm in for another meet up. I become irate and he offers to buy me Plan B. About 19 hours later I meet him at a drugstore where he buys me the plan b and I take it immediately. He then grabs his wallet and empties the content of cash he had and gives it to me as if he had just withdrawn a lump sum for this purpose.. the "least he could do" he said. He attempted to hug me but I walked away to my car.It's well over a week since I took plan b and I still haven't gotten my mense. I'm officially several days late. I realize plan b can make a woman's cycle out of whack and I'm hoping it's that but with this and the pregnancy like symptoms I'm experiencing I'm worried I may have just gotten pregnant within those 19 hours prior to plan b.With this said, I'm going to wait a week to start testing. I hope I am not pregnant. But if in the case I am pregnant how do I go about addressing this to a man that was no more than an accessible penis to me? Who I was just using for an hour or so to do something else other than think about this other moron?I guess I should mention to make matters worse, that plan b friend with benefits has a girlfriend who quite ironically has been trying to get pregnant and married with him for over a year to which he says no and to which is their source of conflict. Take in mind, they both cheat on each other.I'm willing to own up to child baring with or without him. I have a job that can support the child. Of course under these circumstances, things are not at all ideal. How to break it out to every one I've gotten pregnant by a friend with benefits? How to tell my family who I've kept my sexual life under wraps from this when as far as they know I'm a 26 year old virgin? I have been living freely with no qualms up until now. I'm one of the few I know that hasn't had a child or hasn't had a failed marriage or both. I'm open to advice, I'm open to criticisms, I'm even open to no responses because I realize you readers probably got lost or stopped by the 3 sentence. At least I let it out.
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a break, be pregnant, condom, drugs, ejaculate, friend with benefits, has a girlfriend, might be pregnant, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bellax +, writes (12 September 2014):
 first of all im not judging you but that wasnt really smart
sleeping with a guy who has a gf is not right he will never
care if you have a baby or not besides that even if you are
pergnant he can easily say that the kid isnt mine shes a
hoe ive seen cases like this it happen to 3 of my girlfriends
im a girl myself still a virgin thankfully ;o
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 August 2014):
 You're not pregnant. You're jumping waaaaay ahead of the game here. You think you have pregnancy symptoms after what.. possibly being pregnant for a week or two? Symptoms of pregnancy don't show that early, if at all. You're just stressing yourself out, and stress is the far more common reason for a delayed period, than a pregnancy is. Besides, like you already know, plan B will mess up your cycle.
Don't fret out about possibly being pregnant. For now, for all you know, you are not pregnant. Then take the test once you can, and deal with it from then on.
As for what to do IF you are pregnant? If I were you I'd deal with that once it's confirmed that I was pregnant or not. Worrying about it prior to even knowing if you are pregnant will just cause you more headache than necessary. Although, whether you are pregnant or not, if I were you I'd completely stop contacting this man or have anything more to do with him. He's a cheating and irresponsible idiot whos idea of a "good time" is to knock you up. Sheeezes, what a dickhead. If I found myself pregnant by such a man, the option is pretty obvious: single motherhood. Under no circumstance would I EVER enter a relationship, or even have a booty call again, with this man. The kid would be much better off without having such a man around (yet of course I'd get all the money I could out of him as ordered by the court...)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 August 2014):
 You're open to advice and criticisms and that's good, because I'm going to give you a hefty dose of both.
1. Why are you not on birth control? Never ever rely on someone else to take care of birth control in a casual sex setting, and a FWB *is* a casual setting.
The guy may be a complete jerk, and for what he did with the condom, he deserves to never get to touch you again for any reason, ever. However, you alone must protect yourself.
2. Also, what the hell?? Put yourself in his GIRLFRIEND's position right now. He's "backed up", yet he has a girlfriend who he's obviously sexually active with if she's trying to get pregnant?! You're an accomplice to a selfish cheater. No wonder he didn't care if the condom slipped. He has no respect for any woman he is with. And you being with this cheater means you have no respect for yourself either or relationships in general.
3. GO TO YOUR DOCTOR. Don't cower in fear - get a pregnancy test and see your DR to confirm as early as possible. The sooner you know, the sooner your future lies.
4. Your old boyfriend is a cowardly f*ck. What does that have to do with you? Stop pining for him, stop looking up his adoration for the next girl unfortunate enough to be infected with his stench. No more self-destructive sexual behavior. That is NOT healing. That is NOT smart.
5. If you are pregnant, then if you keep this baby, you have to do the mature thing and tell your family. You may *think* they think you're a 26 year old virgin, but they're not dumb. You're an adult now, so acting like one means owning up to and not being ashamed for the way you live. You may be making awful decisions, but they're YOURS, and that is what adults do. By 26, fear of your family should be exponentially less than when you're 14.
6. Finally, and yes I read your entire post - twice - never compare your morality with others. You say you've never had a child or a failed marriage? Very nice, but so what?? Those aren't the only self-destructive things out there. FWB's are self-destructive. So is cheating or being an accomplice to cheating. So is not being honest in how you live. So is not getting over a boyfriend who emotionally abused you before running off like a scared little two-year old. Having feelings for him at this time is like having feelings for the excrement you had yesterday. Time to sh&t him out of your life and be done with it...no more looking for how he is now. No more looking at his social media or keeping an ear to the ground to bludgeon yourself with his stupid drivel on another unsuspecting woman who is about to see in his actions how different words are to them.
In short, whether you're pregnant or not, it's time to finally move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): Let's start off by taking a couple deep breaths! Seems like your going through a lot and are over analyzing everything. Relax, you are only human. We've all been there done that with the first available person, it makes us feel better. Even if it's only temporary. Plan B will throw your menstrual cycle for a loop so don't freak out about it, it's normal. Be patient with your body and let it adjust back to normal, after all you did give it hormones to create a period. Try taking your mind off things by doing something new, don't sit around and contemplate being a single mother with a baby. Why make yourself stressed out over a "what if"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): I don't have a lot of time right now to give advice, but I just wanted to say one thing:
The POINT of Plan B is to delay ovulation. So then your period would be late, too. That's how it works.
There is a chance you are pregnant…Plan B doesn't work if you ovulated before taking it. So, basically, if you happened to ovulate on THE DAY you had sex, Plan B won't do anything for you. Unless you chart your cycles, there is no way for you to know what day you ovulated on. (Yes, the average is Day 14, but it usually ranges between Day 12 and Day 20). Your best bet now is to hope for the best, but take a pregnancy test if you don't menstruate within the next week.
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