A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need some advice. This is something I'm getting all OCD about!For my entire life, I have always wanted a dog. My partner and I have a brand new home, we're yet to have children and it just seems like a good time to bring that special companion into our lives.I am the opposite of impulsive and I believe that when you have a pet, you are committed to that animal for life. This animal should be a part of your family - forever! I believe there are of course exceptional circumstances i.e. poor health, bankruptcy etc but overall, you have made a commitment to make that dog part of your family. Having a baby, moving house, working long hours or just claiming not to have enough time are, in my opinion, disgusting excuses for ripping a loving animal away from it's family.That's just me and a few others out there - obviously. It seems most of society disagree and think animals can just be disposed of like old furniture!Since looking into buying a dog, I've done extensive research into different breeds and their requirements. I want to be sure we find a dog that's HAPPY with us. My friends never thought with their head, only their hearts. They weren't practical. They bought the puppies they liked the look of. Never spent even a minute reading about or trying to understand the breed.Anyway, one thing I know for sure is, I will not be BUYING a dog.. not with the thousands out there needing homes. I just can't believe it! And their reasons for abandoning their pets!? Absolutely unbelievable how many psychopaths there are out there!!!My problem is and I feel like this is selfish...We have just bought a brand new house and I find myself worrying about what will happen to our home if we bring a dog in here that we know nothing about. You can do all the research into the breed etc but if you adopt from an online ad, well frankly I will never trust what any of these people tell me since they're abandoning their pet. I think they need to be lined up and shot! I'm scared of bringing a dog to my home and having him chew through everything, bark uncontrollably and being a first-time dog owner, not knowing where to start. I've never trained a puppy let alone an adult dog with behavioural issues.. and people that could give away or dump a dog, in my opinion, won't have been very dedicated owners.I think I've almost created a new mental illness. Spending my time reading these ads for all these beautiful dogs being tossed away like trash: "free to a good home".. thousands of these ads! I am worried about taking on a dog that might not fit with us and may end up being out of control, yet I'm struggling with the guilt of, because of my own selfish fears and worrying about our home, I'm leaving these dogs with these incompetent people. I feel like I want to save them all! I carry around these feelings of sadness now that because I haven't gone and picked up these dogs and brought them home, that it's MY fault this is happening to them. I don't even know what advice I'm looking for really. Have any of you adopted shelter dogs and was it a hard transition for you and the dog? Has anyone ever felt this way, just constantly heartbroken by the amount of animal abandonment and neglect out there? I've read so much it's just worn me down! Every day, there are at least 20 new ads just for one dog breed! Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated. Thank you so much.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 I didnt say rescue dogs arent great dogs too. I said that they require an experienced owner. Training an adult dog is a lot harder than training a puppy. Especially if they were not diciplined by the previous owners/are traumatized. My mom got a rescue dog a year a.nygo, that wasnt even house clean. That dog still shits on the carpet and jumps up on the tables to steal your food. With a puppy you dont have those problems. A puppy will be able to be trained much faster, and wont have these vad habits. A bad habit in an adult dog can last for lifetime and might never be corrected. Because that would require a skilled owner. And mind you, my mom is experienced with dogs and works on dicipline every single day. Her last dog behaved excellently, because she had her since she was a puppy.
An inexperienced owner should start with a puppy of an "easy" breed/mixed race.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): My first dog, a puppy of 4 months, wandered onto my property. Fortunately, I had some acreage. She was part German Shepherd and Husky. She had been running for awhile and had a lot of ticks on her and she was scared of brooms because she had been shooed away so much. She was a lot to handle because of the Husky, meaning she didn't listen and was stubborn. But, I loved her despite everything.My second dog was a German Shepherd and he was loyal and the best dog ever. Now, mind you, it was German Shepherd dogs that I was scared of the most because when I was small a big German Shepherd was running loose in my neighborhood. After having this breed, I came to love them. They are one big cuddly bear of a dog. It was a good fit for me and honestly I'm really a cat person.Yes, they will chew at the furniture when they are young. My puppy did and she chewed up all my tennis shoes, except one pair. But, you see, I loved my dogs more than my furniture or shoes. It was that simple. The same way it would be for cats. I don't believe in declawing cats, so if I had a cat, well then, I would have furniture I did not have to worry about.Animals are like children and are a life long commitment. You get more in return with their love and companionship than a piece of furniture will provide you.There are plenty of training schools for you and your puppy or dog and I would recommend going to one of those when you choose your dog. It will get the both of you started on the right foot and a strong bonding would occur between you and your dog.My dogs would give their life for me and I would do the same for them. Their loyalty is without question.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): I disagree with ChiGirl because rescues are GREAT dogs to have, but it will be like training a new puppy because you have to start from scratch. You would also probably need a dog trainer from the get-go, as well as picking a dog that the rescue centre knows is a personality match for you and what you can handle. Not all rescues are traumatised (most are, but not all); sometimes their owners truly can't afford to keep them any more, even after having them for several years because they've been laid off or one of them has died and the other can't keep up with payments, etc.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 August 2014):
As youve never had a dog before I strongly advise you to get a puppy, and absolutely do not get a grown up dog from a shelter. You are inexperienced, and dogs with behavioural problems, or who have not learned dicipline from the start, need experienced owners. Learn how to dicipline a dog from the puppy stage before you try abd take on an adult dog who you have no idea what to do with, because they will quite likely require a LOT more work. You are not experienced enough.
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (5 August 2014):
A majority part of life is unplanned. Having a pet is similar to having a child. They are unpredictable and hard to understand. But that is a beauty you can only experience when you embrace it. Of course, you don't treat a dog like a child after all, dogs are social and tend to move better in packs.
I also do not know why you are being so worked up on ads in newspapers. Put your thoughts where your OCD is, and just go find a dog. It doesnt have to be from an ad. New phases in life can be scary but these things should not stop you from accepting new challenges in life. Your anxiety sounds like the stuff teens/people get before a test, procrastination and even negligence to yourself. To overcome this form of anxiety I believe you need to start with baby steps. You must crawl before you can run.
You can do your part to help animals after crawling. Let us know how it goes when you decide to make a change. I believe a lot of us are animal lovers here :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2014): We adopted to Lhasa Apso dogs 7&8 3 years ago with no knowledge of their background from a shelter. We went for 1 and found out that these two were brought up together (but not brothers)so obviously we were not going to seperate them, so PAYED for two new dogs.
They are very expensive both in vet bills, and regular vaccinations, flea collars etc. We even bought them pet passports so that they could travel with us,travel lots of expense with vacs before and after correct micro chips.
They need brushing everyday to de-matt as we grow their coats into natural state long hair, not to save money at the groomers which would be regular. Their fur does fall out and I have to brush and hoover a lot more than normal.
Bathing and grooming takes approx 3 hours, and then it's walkies (lol)they bark and bark and bark at every single dog they see, then turn on each other and start fighting.
I have tried EVERYTHING even dog behaivourist training and we can not do anything.
The two little 'lion barks' love each other 99% of the time and I love them more than anything in the world,they are so special to me and have made me very happy. They come sailing with us, they come camping, they ride in a motorbike side car with us,it is true dogs are mans best friend.
I never ever regret having these too little beasts and would do anything for them,the dog walking is a let down but its a small price to pay for these companions.
Wet dog smell pooheeee and picking it up in the street are you able to do this? are you able to clean their bottom if they get constipated and make a mess in their fur, to stop fly strike in the summer. Does anyone have allergies to dog fur etc.
We wanted a dog not a handbag accessorie dog so be prepared to look after it.
Best thing we ever did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2014): I agree get a rescue but don't frown on people who buy dogs because those dogs need homes too as they will be bred anyway.Cesar Milan is horrible because he thinks intimidating dogs with shock collars and kicking the dog ("lightly" but I don't agree with it). It makes them "behave" but it just suppresses the behaviour, rather than teaches the dog to use other, better behaviours. Watch a video online of people testing shock collars on themselves and for some reason at least one guy said he felt it pretty bad but would still use it!!! -_- I also agree about victoria stillwell and zack george because they only use positive training while still training the dog. It's like children in the sense that intimidating them only makes them scared of you not WANT to please you and do things nicely for you.
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female
reader, Behavioural Analysis  +, writes (4 August 2014):
 Ultimately, going to a reputable rescue centre, they will do extensive checks, tell you as much as they know about the dog, even recommend a professional dog trainer, if you ask.You never give a dog OR puppy the run of the house before you can trust that they won't ruin anything. People who do allow it do it at their own risk.Visit one or two rescue centres and see the dogs. Watch how they react to people, then go and enquire about a couple that you like. You don't have to commit to adopting one right then and there, but it wouldn't hurt to look at them and ask questions :)Also, create an excel chart of monthly and annual costs for an adult dog (whichever size dog you're planning to get). That's what I'm doing. Choose 2 or 3 different alternatives and add links for you to refer back to. Watch TONS of Victoria Stilwell and Zak George training videos online (NOT Cesar Millan!). Do NOT rely on breed research; each dog is different and breed only counts for average exercise needs and potential health issues.Please message me if you'd like more advice like this because I'm doing the same thing as you.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 August 2014):
 I grew up with a lot of dogs. My mom bred them for several years, and we had dogs from the time they were little puppies until they were old and they lived long, good, lives full of love.
I don't think anyone should be shot, but I too get really angry about people treating dogs like accessories, but the "free to good home" ads don't mean the dogs are problem children. They may mean someone was laid off and needs to move into a rental that doesn't allow dogs. Or, they are ignorant of the training needs of dogs or ignorant of the brand traits.
You know, with the sadness and all that you feel for abandoned animals, have you ever considered volunteering at a no-kill shelter or the Humane Society? Give them love until their new family finds them. Work to put love into these rescue's lives if it means so much to you. You can't save all abandoned dogs, but if you have this much love and care bottled up inside you, then you can do your part! One of my mom's friends felt the same way you did (her family had 19 dogs on 50 acres...yikes!), and eventually turned that love and concern into a pet rescue that I think she might be running to this day.
You can't save the world, but you can bring love to a pet's life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2014): Hi there!I am totally with you on this, people who get rid of their dogs as if they are just a piece of unwanted furniture disgust me! A dog is a living creature with so much love to give.My grandparents have always had dogs but I've never had one of my own...until I moved into my own place.A friend of a friend wanted to get rid of her dog - a 12 week old Staffordshire Bull Terrier female....I'm from the UK and these dogs are frowned upon, devil dogs, killers, etc.... I didn't want to buy a puppy, I wanted to give this little dog a better start in life than what she was having, so I had her...I could see why they wanted to find her a new home.....she wasn't toilet trained, she chewed almost everything in sight, she bounded around my home on all of my furniture, my bed, my sofas, even tables! I found out she was kept outside chained up all day so i forgave her for her bounding around....This was two years ago and now I have the best behaved Staffordshire Bull Terrier ever...it was such hard work, the bigger she grew, the harder it was, but believe me, it was so so worth it. The love I get from my dog is amazing. Wherever I go, she's at my side. I love coming home from work to her wagging tail and her hugs, nothing in the world will beat that for me. There are websites you can go on which will give you advice on how to train your new dog...Cesar Milan is excellent! Consistency is the key....they won't pick things up straight away but the more you practice, the better they will become!I hope you do get a dog from one of the ads, however if you do decide to buy a dog, they will still need training....good luck with whatever you decide, having a dog is a wonderful gift that most of us don't deserve....I'm glad that you will give your pooch a happy and forever home! xxx
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 August 2014):
 First off you need to take a deep breath and relax. Now I've pretty much had a least one dog around all my life. I've had pure breeds and mixes from puppyhood and I've adopted older dogs as well. I know the sorrow of putting them to sleep in their old age and of finding one killed by a car. Each dog had a unique personality and quirks, and I loved each one. I currently have a rescued Lab/Hound mix and she is a darling. We figure we got her at about the age of 1 1/2 to 2 years old. She took about a week to totally settle in but she was so grateful to have a new home it was touching. My husband is now looking for a male puppy to be her BFF. I think the trick to having a well-behaved and obedient pet is to just love them. If a dog feels your love they will move Heaven and Earth to please you. Good luck.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 August 2014):
 1 )I don't agree that buying a dog is immoral, this is a bit like saying that people should not have their own kids when in the world there are so already so many abandoned kids up for adoption. First you should adopt all the abandoned ones, then you can make different choices ?.. I don't think so. A dog is a dog, purebreed or not. Also dog breeders do not always sell all the litters, particulardy in fnancially hard times, and , although hopefully these " extra" dogs won't be suppressed or sold to scientific labs, they'll lay about at the breeder's to be used for reproduction and will miss the affectionate, intimate, one-on-one experience of belonging to a family and finding their own human parents :).
Said that , reading about breeds, doing all your homework, and even buying from super reputable breeders with excellet blood lines does not necessarily protect you from unpleasant surprises. Genetics is not mathematics, a bad trait can stay latent for several generations, of which the breeder does not even know, and then crop up all of a sudden in a particular dog. Same as you can inherot the foul temper of a great - great - grandfather that nobody knows anything about, while your dad, granpa , great grandpa were the sweetest guys ever.
2) So, whether the dog comes from a shelter, a pet shop, or an A.K.A. recommended place- perhaps the best attitude is that of when you are going to have a child- you hope and expect the best, of course, - but anyway you'll just deal with the worst.
Everybody wants a happy, healthy, easy baby,... you do yor prenatal classes, you stop drinking, you eat healthy, you do everythng in your power to troubleshoot- but you can't really predict it all.
What if the baby is colicky and keeps you awake all night for one straight year ? what if he has ADHD and never gives you a moment of peace ? what if he/she inherits the ugly face of the ugliest of your ancestors :) ( and notice that on purpose I am only quoting small probelms, not major , serious health conditions ). What do you do, do you give hm / her back to the hospital, or the OB/GYN ?.
No. You deal with it. Whatever it is. You take your puppy , or baby, for what it is , and love it as it is.
It is execellent that you are getting well informed before making your choice, but you can only do your best , and nothing more. The rest ... it's up to luck, or case , or destiny- and to your ability to roll with the punches.
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