A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't really know how to start off my question other than just asking it plain and simple. I'm just wondering if there is a difference between a side chick and friends with benefits? And if there's a difference then how are they different? The guy I like, has a girlfriend and kids. But he knows I like him, I did have sex with him once and he says he wants to do it again. He keeps asking me when we're gonna do it again. I don't want to be a side chick or a fwb or anything like that, honestly I'd love to be his girlfriend but I doubt that will ever happen. Honestly I feel like because I gave into him and had sex with him while having a girlfriend I ruined any possibility of ever being his girlfriend and the fact that he already has a girlfriend doesn't help either
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your help
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 August 2014):
 Some people (men AND women) don't really care. They just want what they want. You are of the instant gratification generation, my guess is, so is he.
If he can get sex from you, that's fine with him whether you have feelings or not doesn't matter to him. YOU having feelings "might" even make it easier for him to manipulate you into sex.
WANT more for yourself then to be some sloppy seconds for some dude.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 August 2014):
 He does not give a f..k if you have feelings for him, if you love him, hate him or something in between. As long as you put out, he's fine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all. I wasn't logged in when I put my response but the answer that says thank you is from me with the other question too
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2014): Thank you all for your answers.
As for wanting to be his girlfriend...I know it won't ever happen because I gave in to him. He told me how he's cheated before and for some reason I still like him which I can't figure out myself.
Like I said I don't want to be a "side chick" or anything like that, but im just wondering, wouldn't you want to stay away from having sex with someone who has feelings for you? was it just because i said yes as to why he did it?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 August 2014):
If yo uwant to go "deep" with the explanations then FWB are FRIENDS who have sex. They both DO NOT want to be in a relationship but still wants sex. THEY are BOTH single btw.
What you are doing is being his booty call on the side.
Why on Earth you want to have ANYTHING to do with a guy who screws around on his family (yeah, she might "just" be his GF, but she is ALSO the mother of his children, so FAMILY) is beyond me. You might as well be his blow up doll or fleshlight, because he has as much respect for those as he does for you.
He won't want you leave his GF. He won't WANT you AS his GF either.
And he is not really the kind of guy ANY woman should want as BF, he can't KEEP it in his pants. I mean seriously, DO you think he wouldn't CHEAT on you if you DID become his GF?
Don't get involved with men who have a GF or a wife or are separated. Because all they want is to USE you for sex, attention and ego-rubs.
Find yourself a SINGLE fella. Less drama and you won't be "sharing" him with at least one other woman.
Doesn't your personal MORAL compass tells you it's NOT OK to sleep with a guy who already has a GF? Doesn't COMMON SENSE tell you that?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 August 2014):
 Your assessment of "what happened" is SPOT-on..... the details, and your part in it....
Best to forget this guy, for the time being, and get on with your life...
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2014): Why did you sleep with him when you KNEW he had a family? I don't think you should ever do it again with anyone who is taken.
Also, the whole "side chick" thing has been explained, so I'll just add that you should never have casual sex with someone you want more from, nor should you ever believe a person who is taken when they say "unhappy relationship", "no sex with partner any more", "I love you".
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 August 2014):
 Yeah, you ruined any chance of being his girlfriend by having casual sex with him. In his eyes, you are nothing more than a booty call. But, to be fair, you didn't stand much chance to begin with, because he's already taken with kids none the less. AND, he's a cheater, so he'll not ever leave his girlfriend, just cheat on her. If at least he had some morals and values he'd have left her and be available for a new relationship with someone else. But seems he prefers to string people along and cheat instead. So good luck trying to make a cheater commit to you... He can't even commit to the woman he has kids with!
The difference between a woman on the side and a FWB is that in the first one there's cheating and lying. FWB is just a practical arrangement for two SINGLE people to have sex, without the committment.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (15 August 2014):
A side chick is a mistress, the woman with whim a guy in another official r/ ship is having sex on the side ( and on the sly ).
FWB is a bit different because it refers to a relationship that is uncommitted , and mostly just for the purpose of sexual gratification , but, it could also be the only relationship for some time, or even for a long time, just there's no promise that it WILL stay the only one.
You'd start as a side chick- don't be one ( since you say you do not want to ). I am pretty sure that this is the role he has in mind for you and that yes, if you become his side chick, you'll never be the main, he 'll just juggle the two of you .
As for you wanting to be his gf, - think again... This guy seems to cheat very casually and without remorse, if you were his gf he would cheat on YOU.
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