A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm so embarrassed about this situation. Here's the story. Not too long ago I accidentally came across my boyfriend's pornography on his laptop. I swear it was an accident although some people may not believe me. Anyway, I don't care about that stuff, it's whatever guys look and watch porn. Well then today I added his dad on Facebook and there was two pictures of my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend going to prom...no biggy it was like four years ago. Honestly I thought it would bother me more to see this girl, but it really didn't. Anyway, her name was captioned under the pic, let's call her Sam. It took me like an hour but it dawned on me that he had a folder in his porn stash titled Sam with a bunch of pics of a naked girl. And I thought 'omg what if that folder is pics of his Ex'. So I went over to his house and secretly looked on his computer. It's hard to be absolutely sure cuz her face is kinda covered, but I'm pretty positive that the naked pictures are of his ex girlfriend. I mean what are the odds that it's not. Same name, same hair color. I compared the prom pics to the naked ones and it looks like the same girl.What do I do? Like why? Why would he keep pics of his ex girlfriend, let alone naked ones? Do I confront him about this? I feel kind of like a psycho because it's like us was creeping on his stuff, but I'm really hurt by this. Why wouldn't he just delete them? These pics are on a new computer of his which means he carried the folder from his old laptop to his new one. I dunno...what do I do? I feel too embarrassed to ask anyone I know about this.
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male
reader, millerch3 +, writes (2 January 2015):
I had a girlfriend and nothing like that happened with us but I will just give you the advice I'm supposed to give you if he get more proof that it's his ex girlfriend naked if it is then talk to him about it if it isn't and he finds out what you did tell him it was an accident and if you two break up talk to your best friend and don't let that stop you from dating other people that's what I did then again she wanted me back a day after but still
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Honestly, confront him and sort this out. You'll never know his reasoning and/or EXCUSE if you don't confront him. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): Yeah, I found the same pics and text messages to old gf's and a potential gf while we were fairly new in a relationship. Also, was referred to as " a little bit of fun" to one the new ones he was trying to get in bed with at the beginning. Had my suspicions and just things he said you know. I lost my shit and felt sooo stupid for believing him and anything he had said up until then. He did delete them and we had many talks about the whole thing, you should 100% talk to him and set your boundaries. If he is a good person he will not get mad and be more concerned about you and your feelings. Talk to him!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): "I'm pretty positive" is not enough to go on when this could turn into a big deal for you.
OP he's your boyfriend, unless he's fairly new then you'll have a good idea whether he's the type that has these with some kind of bad intention.
I doubt he masturbates to them at all unless he's not over her which you'd know.
OP calm down and relax. Just tell him you came across pics that look like his ex and if they are you'd like him to delete them. It's that simple. Unless you catch him wanking to those pictures then there's no reason to think the worst here. Better to just assume he kept as a novelty and the reason he didn't delete them is because they're irrelevant and he never goes near them.
I'm sure he'll delete them if you ask, and he'll be even more inclined to if you don't make a big emotional deal about it.
Just casually ask him about them and tell him that for you that's not, he'll most likely just offer to delete them without being asked and if he doesn't, well he's your boyfriend, you can ask him anything you want.
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A
male
reader, lifesgreat  +, writes (14 August 2014):
I would be shocked if he actually kept them to masturbate too , for one he can easily get porn and he is with you.
I sometimes keep pictures like that from relationships but I don't go back to them every so often to remind myself of anything its just something to have .
Maybe because as a bloke we don't keep the sentimental things Ie teddy bears and that , and this is a reminder .
If it bothers you ask him about it
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Naked pics of the ex should be deleted. This speaks of his character. Never let him take naked pictures of you, never send him any, because now you know he keeps hanging on to them. And for what purpose? Well, to masturbate to them, of coursr. Or worse, use them to be vindictive. Neither option is good, hes not a decent man... I would confront him with it. Or, do Sam a favour and delete the pics. They were taken for the relationship, not because Sam secretly wants to be a porn star. I am sure if she knew about it shed be mortified and disgusted that he kept the photos. Shed want them to be deleted just as much as you do. Pretty sure your bf has backups though... So confront him.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Sometimes couples do take intimate / naked pictures of each other. You have to understand that these photos were taken while they were together and they are NOT together now. Why he didn't dispose of them or why he left it stored in his computer, we don't know why. Is it wrong to keep photos of ex's.. I personally believe it's not. I suspect that since you are quite tech savvy in knowing how to get into his computer to access those photos, you can check to see when was the last time he viewed those photos. That should give you some insight as to his feelings for his ex and pictures. I suspect what bothers you most is that you think he must be constantly going into the folder to view the photos and using them to pleasure himself etc.My best advice to you is just to ask him. Tell him you saw some naked pics of his ex and you don't like it.. if he acknowledges your feelings he will explain or opt to delete them.Good luck!
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