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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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So afraid my feelings for this man are obsessive
Q. Long story. I have been with my bf for 11 years now. We have 2 children, beautiful and healthy, lights of my life. Our relationship has never been ideal, I have my flaws, and he has his. But in the past 3 years things have happened that have l...
A. 19 September 2010: You have nothing to worry about. You are simply recovering from a bad relationship and you want someone better than your old boyfriend. Just see how things go and if he does not feel that way about you then accept his friendship and try to move on. ... (read in full...)
I do not like him like that! Now what do I do?
Q. Sorry, this might be a little long but I need help! So there's this guy that does marching band with me and has made it quite clear he's interested in me. The other night on the way home from a competition I sat next to him. The section that we ...
A. 19 September 2010: If you date him without any sort of love in your heart it will end up tearing him up inside. At this point, heartbreak is not something he can avoid. He just has to learn to deal with it. It is not your burden to bear, your heart simply isn't in ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, promised to get back together, but I'm worried..
Q. Me and my boyfriend had been going out with each other for atleast 2 weeks and a half. When, he brought up the question "Should we break up?" I was shocked he would ask that. I was hurt and was about to break down in tears. He told me, he was only ...
A. 19 September 2010: I do not see why you two broke up in the first place. All the emotions are there, there is still flirting, you two are practically together in all but name. If he is really willing to ask you out again he will ignore his ex's advances, he will ... (read in full...)
I want to allow my boyfriend a three way but want to hear feedback on how it will affect the relationship
Q. Sex with my boyfriend has been lackluster. I love him deeply and would never cheat or leave him. I think he feels the same way about me but the sex is not the reason we are together. We both agree that our bond is deeper. The reason I'm writing is ...
A. 19 September 2010: You are mistaken. I don't think being up front about would make a difference. Allowing him to fantasize about other girls would only lead him to believe that it would be okay for him to be with them, he will likely persuade himself that it'd be ... (read in full...)
I am trapped in this marriage!
Q. i am married for 3 n half years and hv a 7mnth old son. On several occassions my husband beat me up and forced on me. B4 having baby he made me undergo pregnancy termination twice and md me pregnant recently by forcing sex without protection bt i ...
A. 18 September 2010: There has to be someone you can turn to. A friend? The police? You cannot raise a child with this man and you do not deserve this kind of humiliating torture. Take all the money you can and run, if you can, try and find a friend or turn to your ... (read in full...)
I'm too old to get pregnant at 39, right?
Q. I thought i already post last 2 days ago and i cant find my post so here i am again writing again. Hello to all, i just wanna ask something. I am 39 years old. 4 days after my days i took a pills. But then i realize i am already old so i stop my...
A. 17 September 2010: My grandmother still got pregnant at 59-ish. She reached menopause really late. The children had no birth defects whatsoever.
If you're healthy, your baby will be as well.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do I help raise her daughter knowing she isn't my child?
Q. So, my girlfriend and I broke up when she moved away to go to college. While she was there, Her then boyfriend got her pregnant and turned out to be a deadbeat. She came back, and we're together again and engaged. Recently, she decided she didn't ...
A. 17 September 2010: By blood she wouldn't be your daughter but rest assured, should you show care and a willingness to nurture her the way a parent should, you would be her father in every other way possible. A father does not have to be blood-related to take care of a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend left after her mum died...
Q. hello i am 25 and been with my girlfriend for 3 years, i love her so much but on august 17th her mother passed away, her father died when she was young so now she only has me, she was telling me how much she loved me and never wants me to leave her ...
A. 16 September 2010: In times of pain, it is necessary for the mind to retreat from the world. It needs something to blame, something to hate. They turn against the world around them. Being cold may bring her some peace of mind because she may view life as being cold. ... (read in full...)
I am wanting to know if my son's father and I will ever get back together???
Q. I am wanting to know if my son's father and I will ever get back together. Last year we had a physical altercation and he is now being charged with agravated menancing. I am not looking to press charges against him, the state is pressing charges....
A. 16 September 2010: You have to be sure that he is the man you want. Are you sure that this man is the man you want in your life and your son's life?
Let the law run it's course and if you are still confident that things will be alright, then by all means, ask him ... (read in full...)
Disturbing boy in my class
Q. There is a guy in my class who iz always rubbing me.!!!! Rubbing my back legs chest hips butt and trys for my other part also. He trys to put my hand in his pants. He acutualy one stuck his hand down his pants then when I was not paying attentio...
A. 15 September 2010: Well you need to tell someone! He is sexually molesting you! Do not let it happen! Tell the teachers, tell your friends, whether or not they believe you, they will start watching him carefully. Stay out of his reach whenever you can. There is no ... (read in full...)
Does she want to be more than friends?
Q. Okay, so my best friend for the past year and a half is a girl. I have always liked her. I see her everyday. We carpool after school and do all the same clubs. Sometimes she will grab my arm and drag me places. Sometimes she will do it when her ...
A. 15 September 2010: Either that or she just really likes being your best friend. Just tell her how you feel and see where it goes from there. I'm pretty sure she's just being a good friend though.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Why was this man staring at me?
Q. When out to eat the other day with my daughter. We were at aa table in a sandwich shop. This guy sits there and stares at me the whole time never takes his eyes off me. Then he leaves before I do. Then when he gets ready to leave he walks by my ...
A. 15 September 2010: I can't judge unless I see a description of his stare. Was it a friendly stare or a hostile one? Whatever it was, I can tell it unnerved you so, I think it best that you try and ignore him should he continue this prolonged and pointless stare.
... (read in full...)
My sister in law doesn't mind being naked with me!
Q. My sister-in-law (single and attractive) graduated college and recently took a job near where my wife and I live. My wife told her to stay with us in the spare bedroom until she found a place of her own. Initially, she wore a robe over her ni...
A. 14 September 2010: I had to read through all the answers. Whatever Anonymous 123 said is wrong. Learn that EVERYTHING in psychology is based on unproven theories. Accept that the human psyche is far too complex to ever fully understand.
My own family feels comforta... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to keep the stress and the guy or try and shed both!
Q. I think I treat my boyfriend bad, and my mood changes are hard for anyone to keep up with. He's not that happy either but says I treat him well. A part of me wants to break up with him, and get rid of some of the stress for both of us. I know it ...
A. 14 September 2010: Well neither is good for your age is it? Should you not be focusing on your studies? In this case I would suggest you leave your boyfriend, else you would be hindering both your progress and his. Having a boyfriend whilst going through school is ... (read in full...)
My heart says not to end this buy my head says I should? interracial relationship
Q. I am a white male, live and have lived in a mainly white suburb all my life, and most of my associations have been with others of my race. We are a pretty liberal family and I have always been raised that everyone is equal, but that being said our ...
A. 14 September 2010: You have found a woman you love and you are considering throwing it all away because of the colour of your skin? Does it matter what anyone else thinks? They are not kissing her, they are not making her happy and they obviously are not making you ... (read in full...)
Liking someone vs thinking that you do?
Q. This may come off as an odd question, but.. how can you tell the difference between actually liking/loving someone, verses just thinking that you like/love them? Also, there is a guy that I am sort of dating, but we aren't "official" (my c...
A. 13 September 2010: It's the SAME THING!
You either like/love someone or you don't, there is no middle ground with relationships. If you like him and you WANT to be with him, then take a leap of faith and stop fearing what MIGHT happen, if he feels the same way abou... (read in full...)
I don't want to eat but I have to. How to lose weight?
Q. I want to lose weight. I exercise every day but I eat a lot. I don't want to eat but I just have to. I don't know what to do! Help!...
A. 13 September 2010: Starving yourself is never a good choice, do not even think of it as an option. If you want to lose weight, make sure your nutrients are balanced and do lots of anaerobic exercises, skipping rope, running, climbing stairs, anything that makes your ... (read in full...)
Question for the guys about middle-aged women
Q. I'm just wondering... With all the young, hot, semi-nude, perfect female bodies constantly paraded on TV, ads, etc.(not even considering porn... let's not go there), can a middle-aged, post menopausal women still look attractive to a middle a...
A. 13 September 2010: I'm not a middle-aged man but I felt I needed to say something. Personality goes a long way. All my friends keep saying that Megan Fox is the hottest thing alive or whatever...I used to think so, but then I heard she insulted Michael Bay, the... (read in full...)
Why does he ignore me sometimes?
Q. hi, i'm 15 and i have a friend who i have a crush on. i've been told by one of my other friends that him and his friends think i'm pretty and have a bit of a thing for me, and we were getting quite close before the summer holidays, we'd talk nearly ...
A. 13 September 2010: It is possible that he may feel differently about you now, he might actually feel something more for you, I highly doubt it's come to the point where his feelings have suddenly faded so much as to actually turn into any sort of hate. So just talk to ... (read in full...)
How can I be intimate with my wife without being selfish?
Q. My wife has been battling vaginal issues for about a year. First, they thought it was yeast, now they think it is bacterial vaginosis, the dr's think she may be allergic to her own estrogen, etc. It's very complicated - and I have read the ...
A. 13 September 2010: There are more than one ways of touching a woman to show affection and desire. Whisper into her ear, caress her skin, show her you love her and she'll know you aren't being selfish. Kiss her neck, there are many ways to make a woman feel things ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to get a girlfriend!
Q. question dear cupid, will i ever find love i've been lonely all my life. i just can't attract women doesn't matter what i try. i've run out of ideas my life lonely and empty. even when i was at school girls avoid me they never talked to me. all my ...
A. 13 September 2010: How about you try and talk to them? Physical attraction isn't all a woman is looking for in a man. You want to get a girlfriend, go out and meet people, start a conversation and just go with it. Try and be charming in your own way but don't be ... (read in full...)
I got caught by my manager kissing a co-worker!
Q. I need help I just got caught by my manager kissing a work mate of mine we been together for just under 3months omg I have no idea what to do! i'm so embarrassed. does anyone know any laws or anything that state we can't do this? I don't know... He ...
A. 12 September 2010: It depends on your company policies. Some companies allow employee relationships, some don't. If they allow it, your manager can't really do anything about it.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I want to be more than FWB! how can I tell him?
Q. so me and this guy have been friends for about a yr. but recently this past week and a half we have decided to be fwb. this all started during the trip with some of his family and i told him we couldn't talk to each other when we got back to school ...
A. 12 September 2010: Just tell him how you feel and see where it goes from there. When he kisses you, tell him that you like it when he kisses you, when he holds your hand and you actually want to be with him. Good Luck
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Whilst I was on holiday a random boy tried to split me and my boyfriend up. I'm so angry.
Q. Hey everyone some adivce would be greatly appreciated. Im 18 and my boyfriends 19, ive been with him for a year and a half, im going to say i would like to think where the perfect match and that we will be together for a very long time, but these ...
A. 11 September 2010: Find comfort in the fact that you and your boyfriend stood through the blackness of a deranged boy and emerged from the fire of pain standing strong.
Instead of hating this bored little man, you should be thanking him for showing you how strong y... (read in full...)
Why won't he say 'I Love You'?
Q. My boyfriend won't say "I love you". We've been together almost 2 years now. He's 20 and I'm 18. We're even planning on moving in together next summer. When we started going out he just got out of a long relationship about a year ago. ...
A. 11 September 2010: You could try saying it first. To be honest, I think he is waiting to be sure that it truly is love. Was his past relationship a bad one? Did it affect him strongly?
He probably wants to say it, he just isn't sure OR maybe he is in a similar ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to get over someone?
Q. How soon is too soon to get over someone? I *just* got out of my first serious relationship (and we almost made it to our 1 year anniversary). Right now I'm feeling hurt and confused, but I'm wondering how long is it okay to be mopey? And when is it ...
A. 11 September 2010: There is no right answer to this. Take as long as you need to in order to get over him. Just don't dwell on him, tell yourself that it is time to move on and find someone who'll treat you well.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Is this a mid life crisis or should I leave my wife for her?
Q. Hi, I have been married to a wonderful woman for 20 years who I still think I love. Back in January I reconnected with an old girlfriend (who is unhappily married) on Facebook. We've been emailing one another and even have met for lunch a couple o...
A. 11 September 2010: You don't do anything. Stay with your wife. Love your wife. You can still be there for your old girlfriend but only as a friend, nothing more. If the urge to cheat it too strong to resist, I suggest you stay away from that old girlfriend.
You a... (read in full...)
I woke up naked in bed with my girlfriend's sister and I had not even been drinking! Should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. i woke up naked in bed with my girlfriend's sister.i got no memories on how this happened.all can remember is that i was invited to her birtday party.by her sister i had two soft drinks and thats it.should i tell my girlfriend about it or should i ...
A. 10 September 2010: I saw your previous post from a couple of days ago. Now you have gone too far by no fault of your own, assuming your claim is true. Yes, you should tell your girlfriend.
And what has your girlfriend's sister done? How did she react when she saw ... (read in full...)
(asker's original title) The One Who Got Away ..........
Q. When I was 18yrs old I started college. I met a guy who I thought was great; through mutal friends. At first he acted like he really wanted to get to know me. He would message me all the time and we would always chat online. He messaged me more ...
A. 10 September 2010: Perhaps he has been feeling the same way about you. Perhaps he too has been thinking about you almost everyday.
Does he have any pictures of him and his new girlfriend/fiancee? I feel that he may still want to be with you, he may still be remem... (read in full...)
We flirted, we had sex and now .... nothing!
Q. so this guy has been flirting with me all summer and we have this intimate connection that i cant say i have had with other people. We like mesh in a way that makes it like nobody else is in the room. He tickles me to have an excuse to hold me an we ...
A. 10 September 2010: If you want to, you can try and knock on his door, if he turns you down, you'll know to move on but, now, since you say that you and he had this amazing connection, I think it would be worth a shot. Don't you? Just try and visit him and talk through ... (read in full...)
Should I give it all up to be with her?
Q. Simply put, I starting chatting in a forum about a topic unrelated to dating, we talked, there was attraction, 7 months after chatting everyday i fly over there and spent 2.5 weeks with her, everything was magic. Its crunch time now and I have t...
A. 10 September 2010: Well how much do you love her? And what power does the father of her children have over her? She doesn't love him anymore does she? Are they married? If they are married, you should move on. If not, then tell me why she cannot move to be with you.
... (read in full...)
He says he not "100%" committed to me... should I move on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for the past 3 months. We're both in our late twenties, he was very into me initially and then we agreed to be exclusive to each other after we started becoming intimate. We've had a lot of problems as I had caught him ...
A. 10 September 2010: I think you should leave him. He just isn't ready to be in a relationship. I'm afraid giving him more time would just hurt you even more.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Is dating my mom's new boyfriend's son wrong (even though we started crushing before our parents hooked up)?
Q. ok i sort of have the a dilemma, my mom and "step" dad were secretly dating when i started high school, well i met this guy and he was so amazing! he was cute and knew just what to say to make me laugh but one noght my dad said he was bringing his ...
A. 10 September 2010: Personally, I don't see anything wrong with you feeling this way about him. I don't see anything wrong with him feeling that way about you. I can also see why your parents might be getting uncomfortable with this but if you are absolutely SURE that ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my ex from ruining this friendship?
Q. how can I stop my ex from ruining my friendship? The other day I was hanging out with my ex boyfriend and I mentioned this fight I had with my friend of 17 years, it was important to me and I was just venting, I want to keep that friendship and w...
A. 10 September 2010: Are you sure all his feelings for you have disappeared? Perhaps he views this as a chance for him to prove how he can take care of you?
Perhaps he has anger issues and he views this as his chance to vent his stress from your break-up.
There a... (read in full...)
Was this really cheap, or am I being too hard on myself?
Q. I'm married and met a guy few months back at a party and we danced together while drunk.We flirted a little, he gave me compliments and said your husband is lucky man etc.Later that night we hungout with a group of people.I was drunk and asked him ...
A. 10 September 2010: You are being hard on yourself. You should be proud of the fact that you kept that from escalating into an affair. Simply learn from your mistakes and move on. Nothing happened.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Can a man love 2 women at the same time?
Q. can a man fall in love with two women,cause there is a man who says that he's got two girlfriends,he love's them both,but he says he feels like he is in heaven when he is around the new girl.is it possible 2 love two women?...
A. 10 September 2010: You can't help how you feel. So technically, it is possible to love two women but how does he act on it? Is he trying to make a choice? A heart must be wholly devoted to one person, love must be given but once devoted, a heart should not be shared, ... (read in full...)
Might be pregnant, scared, what should I do?
Q. Hi I'm thirteen and on July 31,2010 we had unprotected sex after three days I started bleeding I had bad cramps and it didn't last as long as it usually does and it was extremely heavy.I'm seeing the signs of being pregnant but I haven't taken a ...
A. 10 September 2010: I think the father of your child is right. It wouldn't be fair to anyone, not your parents, not the father, not the growing child inside you, not even you, ESPECIALLY you. How are you planning on raising it anyway whilst still handling your ed... (read in full...)
Dating a couple of months and want to marry soon. Rushing things?
Q. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a couple months. We are very much in love and we have great chemistry, both sexual and emotional. We have spent so much time together this summer, because we have lived together at his parents ...
A. 9 September 2010: I would suggest waiting until you two reach a more stable situation. The problems you have stated may just harm your relationship. Be patient and in a year or two when things have settled and he has a steady flow of income, you may get married. Stay ... (read in full...)
I don't want to start mothering him
Q. What should I do with an absent minded boyfriend? He's never forgetful about anything important or anything to do with our relationship, it's just little things - like this morning we made sandwiches to take to work because we're both really low on ...
A. 9 September 2010: I don't really see a problem here. I don't think that the whole 'mothering' issue is a likely outcome of your care for him. But it is up to you. If you feel more like his mother than his girlfriend, by all means, stop and look back to see how you ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for her, but wondering if she's just being nice because I'm helping her out
Q. I know a girl who is 25, and a very sweet girl, with a tough set of issues (she drinks too much and is in her own words,a "beautiful mess"). She is very kind and thoughtful also. Well, I'm older, and she and i met at a restaurant where she worked ...
A. 9 September 2010: Tell her! If she doesn't feel the same way, then things don't have to be awkward, just carry on as usual, just with the knowledge you two will just have to stay as friends.
Although, I'm almost certain that she feels the same way, from what you... (read in full...)
Love hate relationship, we fight all day then go to bed loving each other?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together 4 years off and on we live together n we have love hate relationship we fight all day about who does more, leaving messes, people comming over, dishes, money, and groceries. he also thinks that i pick on him ...
A. 9 September 2010: Well there is love somewhere in your relationship so there is hope if both of you are willing. If you are constantly being a nag, that has to stop, no one responds well to that but, he does need to understand that you cannot support both of you ... (read in full...)
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