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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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When your dream turns into a nightmare
Q. A while back I posted a message stating that I was looking forward to immigrate with my son to start a new life in the caribbean where my mother now lives. I had intended to pursue a business but I can tell you it has certainly turned out to ...
A. 30 August 2010: That's certainly no way for a mother to act. Where there is a will, there is a way. Look for a job, earn money, put it all into a bank account and when it's large enough, you could try investment, sooner or later, your dream will come true. I KNOW ... (read in full...)
I am so insecure I beleive no matter what I do I am going to fail
Q. WARNING: long post! How should I begin? I'm a very insecure person. I lack self-confidence, I'm suspicious about things (almost paranoid), I feel ugly (even if people around me tells me I'm cute or hot), I feel clumsy, I feel like no matter wh...
A. 30 August 2010: I'm sure everyone's been through something like that. Childhood builds us into the people we become until we decide that it proves useless, until we decide that we want to build ourselves.
Whoever you were before, that isn't the girl you are now.... (read in full...)
Does not sleeping at the same place while on vacation mean that he is sneaking out and about?
Q. My bf and I visit our parents once in a couple of months.. The thing is that every time we come down to visit our parents we go apart. Right now we came for 10 days and I am staying at my parents and he is staying at his parents. My bf says that ...
A. 30 August 2010: It doesn't mean he's sneaking about. What about his parents. How much do they know about you? Are they accepting? If not, this could be a reason for not proposing.
Marriage is something you shouldn't rush into. Pleasing parents is not a reason t... (read in full...)
I can't stop fantasising about my wife having sex with another man!
Q. I can't stop fantasizing about my wife having sex with another man.I've asked Her but She's afraid it might ruin our marriage.I think about this everyday. How do I move on ,or better still how do I convince My Wife?...
A. 30 August 2010: Don't EVER say something like that again! "Better still how can I convince her?". Never act upon a lustful whim. This is not something you want out of love or compassion, it's something selfish, for your own sort of satisfaction. What about your ... (read in full...)
I ain't playing games with her. I want answers from her!
Q. Hey, I'm 27 and have a 20 year old gal who it appears that only I refer to 'girlfriend', I never actually heard her saying in front of other people that I'm her boyfriend and we've been dating for like 5 months, and she's Danish. We really clicked, ...
A. 30 August 2010: I don't think anyone here did anything wrong. You both reacted naturally, you were both (in a way) being honest with each other. Would you rather have had her keep this from you? Accept that she can't help how she feels. She didn't CHOOSE to feel ... (read in full...)
How can he know he likes me THAT quickly?
Q. I'd love some advice, please. So I've been single for 9 months after breaking up with my bf of 8 years after he cheated on me. I have not been interested in dating anyone else in that time. Last night, my best friend (f) invited me to dinner with ...
A. 30 August 2010: Have you ever heard an old Greek saying from the philosopher Plato? "You can learn more about a person in an hour of play, than in a year of conversation". Don't think it impossible that he knows he likes you after such a short time.
If you're i... (read in full...)
I want to help him out but I don't know how to.
Q. well theres this guy i have always been pretty close to, we have always been good mates but i never thought it was anything more... That was until one night at a mates house we slept together(he was my first), he was really nice and made me feel...
A. 30 August 2010: Have you tried telling him how you feel about him? I'm pretty sure he didn't try to commit suicide because he regretted sleeping with you.
When you tell him, he'll remember that there are people who love him. Talk to him, let him tell you what he'... (read in full...)
A twisted relationship!
Q. Ok so i do not know what to do so i thought i would come here for some help. I am 18 years old and in a very confused state of mind. It is really a long story but i will shorten it and please any feedback to this is great because i need som...
A. 30 August 2010: Don't be hurt. By all means cry. Cry until you can't anymore. The wounds will heal and the sadness will fade. Especially since you'll rarely be seeing him.
The child will have your love. There's nothing stronger than the bond between a mother a... (read in full...)
Should I make a move on my best friend?
Q. i love my guy-friend like a brother, hes always been the ONLY guy i have that i can depend on. i've had a little crush on him since we met, and he liked me too but i never acted on it b/c my on/off bf of 3years.(i've known my b-g-f just as long)...
A. 29 August 2010: Tell him how you feel about him otherwise. I've tried to keep things like this a secret, never told anyone at all and it drove me insane.
You are his closest friend yes? Then you can just be honest with him. I'm sure you'll make a much better g... (read in full...)
We are both 14, had a miscarriage. Should we try again to have a baby?
Q. Me and my girlfriend are both 14 and are madly in love. weve been together for about a year now and had protected sex a few months ago. she ended up having a miscarriage and that made us both completely sad. :( We love eachother alot and wanna have ...
A. 29 August 2010: You're only fourteen years old! That's too young to have a baby. I know this isn't what you want to hear but you really don't know what love is. You're still going through adolescence, you're going to be host to a flurry of emotions before you can ... (read in full...)
Should I consider marriage to a woman if I'm probably gay?
Q. Hi I am a 23 year old guy and most probably gay. I am predominately attracted physically to men (like 90 %) with the rest for feelings for women :s I have not come out yet, and live in an indian, religous household where being gay is for...
A. 29 August 2010: You shouldn't have to hide who you are. No creed should ever force someone to hide a part of themselves, no religion should ever force someone to hide a part of them from their own families.
I don't want to offend you by saying all of this, I ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my clingy girlfriend?
Q. So, I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years now and I'm starting to wonder if i want to be with her anymore. When we first started dating we would spend every single day together and I eventually started staying at her house every night. I ...
A. 29 August 2010: Well, what about her do you like? Do you want to give that up? Before you do anything, talk to her about it. Make sure that you've exhausted every other option before breaking someone's heart. I say that because she seems to really like you.
... (read in full...)
How do I dump my violent boyfriend?
Q. Hi, my boyfriend is a farm boy. He is stuborn very traditional with diffent backgrounds. He knows that a man is a man no one can stand before him. He is aggressive with high temper, when ever we have an argument he will start beating me up. When ...
A. 29 August 2010: Run away from him and go to the police or the local authorities. A man has no right to hurt a woman. Run away to a friend's place or to your family.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do I forget?
Q. Is there a way, i can block the memories of my dead lover? It hurts too bad to think of him. I remember his beautiful face and sweet, funny personality. And I miss him painfully. My heart aches so much for him. It's only been 2 months now. It's the ...
A. 29 August 2010: I'm sorry for your loss.
I don't know of any way you can block memories of your dead lover. Do you really want to forget him?
You don't need to forget, you don't need to stop loving him to exist and function. Remember him fondly.
Talk ... (read in full...)
He said to wait for him. Should I?
Q. My boyfriend of one and a half are not together anymore but he told me that he can't say this is really the end but for now it is that he needs a couple of days for only him and if I wanted I could wait and of course I said I will. what should I do? ...
A. 29 August 2010: Do you WANT to wait for him? Is he worth it? How long does he think it'll take for him to make a decision? Does he want to be with you or not?
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
A twisted relationship!
Q. Ok so i do not know what to do so i thought i would come here for some help. I am 18 years old and in a very confused state of mind. It is really a long story but i will shorten it and please any feedback to this is great because i need som...
A. 29 August 2010: Think about it for a minute. Is this the kind of man you want as the father of your child? A man who leads you to believe that he loves you before breaking your heart over the phone?
He has a moral and (depending on the laws there) a legal ob... (read in full...)
How much space do I give her while she leaves her marriage?
Q. I am in love with a married woman for the last 2 years. I love her and we had talked about a future together. She had almost left once but couldn’t decide to leave…she was too scared. She always said stuff like, I don’t know if I can keep you ...
A. 29 August 2010: From the way you described it, it almost seems as though she might be regretting her decision. Just give her time to think. You have already let her know that you're there. Just wait until she's ready.
Start eating, get some sleep. You'll need to ... (read in full...)
Knowing that he won't let go of this female friend, hurts me a lot. What should I do?
Q. I started dating my boyfriend when I was 19. At the time, still a virgin, and not wanting to deal again with losing a man or constantly fighting over having sex... I agreed to a stupid arrangement. He was able to have sex with other women, so long ...
A. 29 August 2010: Sex is more meaningful then he allows himself to believe. From the first time he suggested it, it was inevitable that he would become attached to one of them and that isn't fair to you, it's not fair to talk about them to you, the woman who he knows ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my 3 year old..that my husband isn't her biological father?
Q. hi! I'm 22 years old and married to an amazing man! We have two children together but one is only biologically his! What i want to know is how do i tell my 3 yr old daughter that she has another father, while still making it clear that my husband ...
A. 29 August 2010: A three year old isn't ready yet. Wait until she's a little older, when she can form a closer bond to her step-father that way, you know that she'll still see him as her father.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a boy, who's taken. Help?
Q. Basically, I've known this boy for a while. I like him, he likes me, but the only problem is he has a girlfriend. We only started out as friends, but then I dunno, I started liking him more than a friend. I never told him this, because I was scared ...
A. 29 August 2010: Same as with other relationships. Does he still like his girlfriend? It wouldn't be fair to her if he doesn't feel the same way she does about him.
Don't feel guilty if/when they break up and he wants to be with you. It wasn't anyone's fault. Y... (read in full...)
Surely its up to me if I watch porn! Isn't it?
Q. Men are visual when it comes to sex! Its a fact..so if your girlfriend will not do sertin things in bed then is it really that rong to watch porn? Insted of tryin to make her do sertin things that she don't wanna do I think she should be fine with ...
A. 29 August 2010: Does it matter whether or not she's asking or telling you to stop watching porn? The fact of the matter is that she's on the verge of being emotionally wounded like so many other women because of this.
Have you in fact, asked her if she is willi... (read in full...)
He does not want a relationship but still wants to see me
Q. I met my boyfriend online 3 months everything was going great and we still get on well. I realised he recentley was acting weird and asked him what was wrong, he then told me that he did not want to be in a relationship at the moment but still wants ...
A. 28 August 2010: Just because he wants some space and privacy, doesn't mean something's up. Sometimes people need to deal with things on their own, by themselves. It means no disrespect, it's just something they might just want to keep to themselves because they ... (read in full...)
Am I lost in this heartbreak?
Q. About 5 years ago I fell in love with this girl. We had the most amazing conversations. We had great chemistry. We were pratically the same despite being opposite. ( She's latin, preppy, and a dancer. I'm jewish, a metal head and a artist.) An...
A. 28 August 2010: Heartbreak is a twisting crossroad full of maps. You know where you are but you are lost all the same.
Know that there was a point. Everything has a purpose, every object, event, person, whatever. Everything has it's purpose. I was in a similar ... (read in full...)
In love with my aunt..
Q. hi. i am in love with my aunt. im 21 and shes 34. my uncle passed away 3 years ago and shes been single since. it happen one night when we drank and kissed. we both realise it might not be acceptable by somebody, but i dont feel any guilt out of it. ...
A. 28 August 2010: I'd like to start by advising you to place the info in brackets FIRST before you say anything else. I was worried for a minute.
If you're not related, there should be no problem, it doesn't matter what the rest of you're family thinks because ... (read in full...)
I want to CHANGE for her - how?
Q. I've been with a girl for about five months now and she's very special to me. We dated for one month in school, 3 months during the summer and one month while SHE'S in college. I've always had issues and I've been clingy but I've been trying t...
A. 28 August 2010: It is admirable that you wish to change for this girl. It will be very difficult, fighting your own mind for change but it is entirely possible.
What makes you so clingy? No one clings to another thing/person for no reason. Is it paranoia... (read in full...)
How do I forgive her and trust her again?
Q. My lesbian girlfriend of three years cheated on me with my male friend who was staying with us. I will never talk to him again, but i'm still with her. I understand why she did it and i want to forgive her and trust her again but I'm really ...
A. 28 August 2010: You can't force yourself to trust her again. She's the one who should be trying to earn your trust back, she's supposed to be earning your forgiveness, it's not something you can force. Sorry I can't offer something more.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I'd do anything for my child but no one seems to appreciate that or understand!
Q. I really am not sure if this is the right place for this. So I am sorry if not. I have been having problems lately holding down a job. I am scared that sooner or later things will start to get pretty bad. I have been lucky in missing bullets...
A. 27 August 2010: It isn't bad that you are willing to do this. One of the truly amazing mothers, you have my respect for your devotion.
The boyfriend is useless and you are right to throw him out. Like Dirtball said, please don't sell your body.
Your family w... (read in full...)
Boyfriend never lets me know where is when late and I'm always afraid of something bad happening!
Q. My fiance and myself have been together for more than 3 years, lived together for more than 2 and have a toddler and an infant together. He has a full time job, half day on fridays and I am a stay at home mom. he is a good person but really incon...
A. 27 August 2010: It's not right that he's getting upset with you, especially if you've had an incident happen to you before involving an accident.
He says that he always forgets, perhaps you should call him to ask whether he will be late or not. He should u... (read in full...)
This is a train that has gone round and round for far too long
Q. Really In need of help. I have been with my girlfriend for four years, through this she has cheated multiple times, and ive still stayed. Now shes pregnant and about five months in, ive been there for the entire pregnancy and Im always sad. I re...
A. 27 August 2010: Her pregnancy might have something to do with the way she's acting. It's a primal instinct needed for protection, security, a way to ensure that the baby is cared for I suppose. In a way, it's not unfair if you tell her how you feel about all o... (read in full...)
Role playing for sex, I don't know what to say!
Q. My boyfriend and have been together for nearly 2 years now and although we have a wonderful sex life we have decided that we want to try a little bit of role play. The scenario that we have decided on is boss/secretary (he's the boss and I'm the...
A. 27 August 2010: If you can stay in character, you can turn anything into a phallic device. Anything long, anything large...you get the idea right? "Promotions", "giving you a raise" etc...Inspired yet?
Good luck
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do you make up after a fight when you still think the other person is wrong?
Q. I'm stuck in a horrible horrible place. I am on the verge of tears -- again, just having to right this out. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months TODAY! Should be exciting.. but it's not, because we've been in a not so good place for a couple ...
A. 27 August 2010: Accept that once in a while everyone is wrong. EVERYONE is wrong. Thomas Edison was wrong about the light bulb 1000 times before he was right. Logic and Reason often conflict with the heart. You can't hate someone for being wrong and you can't lo... (read in full...)
Is a single 16 yr old who kisses 2 or 3 guys at different times considered easy?
Q. Dear Cupid.! Is a single 16 yr old who kisses 2 or 3 guys at different times considered easy? i personally think not but alot of people disagree with me so i want your opinion please. Remember she's single but she messes around with ALOT of guys. ...
A. 27 August 2010: If she keeps doing that, she might lose respect and then people might start talking trash about her. Have you ever though she might actually want something? Perhaps it's a self-esteem booster for her. I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Marriage is an endless circles of selfishness and lies
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost ten years on and off. We separated 10 months ago and we've been back together for almost a year now.however; It seems like a endless cycle of selfishness and lies. When we got back together we decided ...
A. 27 August 2010: So break the circle. You are his wife, the mother of his child. If he refuses to play his part as your husband or his part as the father of his own children, leave him and find someone who will. There are plenty of good men out there.
I hope tha... (read in full...)
I feel like I've ruined my life for good!
Q. I feel like ive ruined my life at such a young age :/ ive done soo many stupid things and its only hit me now how messed up i am.... this year alone, ive had drug issues, stds, abortion and got myself into loads of debt, and ive just realised ho...
A. 27 August 2010: You have an opportunity now to learn from your mistakes. Now that you realized what your mistakes were, now that you regret them, you can grow and grow stronger, you can grow wiser. I don't think you've ruined your life. I think that in realizing ... (read in full...)
I feel I need revenge on him!
Q. Hey guys i just got heart broken and im happy that im moving on but i still cant understand y he would leave me FOR HIS FEMALE FRIEND when i was there for him , I PUT UP WITH LOT HIS CRAP AND LIES ! SOMETIMES I FEEL K NEXT MIN IM HURT! I need ...
A. 27 August 2010: You don't need revenge. You need to keep moving on. Buddha said that revenge is like throwing a hot piece of coal at someone, you're the one getting burned. I suppose in this case, you'd be getting burned by showing him how much he meant to you. You ... (read in full...)
Am I an idiot?
Q. All right, here goes... [before I begin, let me say...excuse my novel. ;]] I've actually been debating doing something like this for the last month or so. This isn't exactly something I want to discuss with the people around me who know both ...
A. 27 August 2010: I don't think you're an idiot. Never think yourself stupid for feeling things. What you chose to do was influenced by what you felt.
People change. You CAN give him a chance to be with you and show you that he won't make a mistake like that aga... (read in full...)
Why do all the men in my life turn to porn?
Q. LONG story short: My boyfriend is great and I love him dearly. But (there's always a but, right?) I found porn on my computer and now I'm having trust issues. I confronted him and he has stopped (for 8 months now). I just can't quit thinking ab...
A. 27 August 2010: Of course they comprehend how much it hurts their wives/girlfriends. But you're saying your husband is a porn addict, would any addict of any sort whether it be drugs or porn or food give up just because someone says so? NO! It takes time, it takes ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend hates me..so why wont he let me leave?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. we have gone through some really really hard things together. i have forgivin him for cheating on me...and lying about it and he forgave me for hitting him. which i feel bad for but in the moment i...
A. 27 August 2010: Just leave him. Read back on what you said, there's absolutely no reason for you to still be with him. He cheats on you? You've given him many chances and he's betrayed you multiple times. A boyfriend isn't supposed to spark hatred against his ... (read in full...)
How can I Improve my posture? does it show a bad impact on my personality?
Q. how can i improve my posture?walk with bent shoulder just like olders...it shows a bad impect for my personality ?...
A. 27 August 2010: I used to walk like that, I used to have one of those haircuts shaped like a bowl. Everyone said I was a nice guy and funny and stuff but that's only when they got to know me. The people who didn't know me said I looked angry, ahteful, creepy and ... (read in full...)
Why is he choosing to apologize after so long?
Q. Ok, this is going to be kind of a long one...Sorry. Basically I go to college and i was at our student bar one night where i noticed this guy. We started chatting and walked home the same way a few times and really got on and i really liked him...
A. 27 August 2010: He was probably thinking the situation over in his head. Maybe it took him this long to figure out how it affected you. The fact of the matter is, he did apologize and that means he cares. It MIGHT mean he wants something more, assuming he'd been ... (read in full...)
Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with girls alone?
Q. Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with his friends that are girls by there self,is it a big deal,an should I be worrying. I want replys from both male an female points of view thank you! ...
A. 26 August 2010: Do you trust him to be around girls alone? If you do, then there's no problem but right now, you don't. If they're just friends, there's no problem. I'm sure you have friends that are guys right? Does that mean you'll forget everything and jump them ... (read in full...)
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