A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a couple months. We are very much in love and we have great chemistry, both sexual and emotional. We have spent so much time together this summer, because we have lived together at his parents house. My problem is, we want to get married within this year.It is a problem because I have to live on campus and we only see each other on weekends. He also has no job, no car, and he has yet to graduate high school. He is also 19, a little over a year older than me. He has newly set goals because of our relationship and seems more and more determined to complete them. I have never been happier.Am I rushing into things too soon? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Its great your both getting on so well however it may be too soon to be getting married. Your or his opinions or values may change later on down the line and if your married it makes it more complicated.
If I was in your situation enjoy what you have in each other, if you are going to get married you have a lifetime to do it so whats the rush?
Everyone is different and progresses at different rates, marriage does seem like a wonderful thought within the first months of a comitted and loving relationship, however just take on board we can also mistake infactuation and lust for love and only time will give you the answer is your love really true?
I hope it does work out for you both.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Yes, you are rushing things. Judging by your ages, the two of you still have a lot of growth to do on your own. . . If the relationship was meant to be, what's the rush in getting married so soon? The title of husband and wife won't magically give you the ability to see him more than just the weekends. Nor will a magic wand give him the means to maintain a job, get a car, and a high school diploma. Enjoy the relationship but don't get too absorbed with getting married.
As a comment, of all my friends who were married in high school or immediately after, ALL but 2 of them are divorced now. (9 years later). Many of them were very mature and had clear expectations with marriage. . . but that doesn't triumph the amount of self growth that you're still going through at that age.
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A
male
reader, gigolojone  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Do not rush into things.
Since he is determined to complete his newly set goals,let him complete some of these....finish graduating from High School and getting a job first because marriage is a responsibility,to be a man,you have to be in a better position to look after yourself and the woman in your life and shortly kids come in. So one has to be fully prepared to assume all these responsibilities.
For the time being,you can get engaged and marry after he has complete those two goals that i just mentioned above.
Being in love,loving someone and they love you back,having the right chemistry is the best thing that can happen to anyone on this planet.
The feeling it gives is sweeter than the test of honey.
Good luck to the two love birds and please do not forget the things that are making your relationship flow as smoothly as ...................
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 I would suggest waiting until you two reach a more stable situation. The problems you have stated may just harm your relationship. Be patient and in a year or two when things have settled and he has a steady flow of income, you may get married. Stay together, persevere through the difficult times.
View this stage as a test of your relationship. Hardships will flow on from seemingly out of nowhere and it is up to both of you to stick together. View this as a test of love because marriage is a life-long commitment and you both have to be absolutely sure of it.
I hope that helps.
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