A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone some adivce would be greatly appreciated.Im 18 and my boyfriends 19, ive been with him for a year and a half, im going to say i would like to think where the perfect match and that we will be together for a very long time, but these days you just cant be sure.Anyway, about a month ago i went on holiday to America with my family, we booked it around the time me and my boyfriend first got together, so thats the reason he didnt come with us. When i left him, there were tears all round, i felt really low and couldnt stop crying, it was like that pretty much for the whole holiday. I missed going out for food with my family some nights so i could stay in and talk to him on skype and facebook. (We took our laptop so i could save on my phone bill.)Anyway 2 weeks into my holiday, and the friends we went with were going home so we were all going out for a meal to see them off. I was getting ready whilst speaking to my boyfriend on msn. Then a boy popped up on msn and asked me if i was (my name) and did i live in (my correct area) (not going to put my details in!) i answered yes why?, then he asked me if my boyfriend was (my boyfriends name) i answered yes why again. Then he came out with tell your boyfriend to watch out im going to kill him, and make sure that his face is so badly messed up nobody will recognise him. I started to panick and asked this boy why, whats he done to deserve that? I also sent my boyfriend what this boy had said and asked him did he know him, my boyfriend had never heard of him. He then told me the worst news ive ever heard, he said for the last 2 weeks my boyfriend had been sleeping with his sister, and had just called it off with her and left her heartbroken. (I had been on holiday for two weeks and i was due to come home in two days) so i started to panick, this boy who didnt know me or know that i was on holiday said that my boyfriend had been sleeping with his sister for the last 2 weeks, the exact time i was away and had now called it off, just before im due home. I questioned my boyfriend and he denied it, saying he hadnt done anything. I questioned the boy who was telling me, and he started to apologise for telling me the way he did, and say that he was really annoyed. He then told me something disgusting, that his sister was 15, my boyfriends 19. I asked for his sisters number so i could ask her myself, and he said he would give it to me, then i said how did he know, and he said he seen messages on his sisters facebook from him, and he didnt have facebook himself so he wouldnt of known his facebooks full name any other way. Then i told him i was going to ring the number he gave me, so dont go giving me a fake, to which he went offline, leaving me devastated.My mum rang my boyfriend to find out what was going on, to which he was sobbing his heart out on the phone to my mum, saying how am i going to get her to believe i didnt do this, i have no proof. Saying how he couldnt lose me, and he would never do something like that.Then my brains kicked in, i new this boy from ages ago, when he used my friend for sex, and left her thinking they were going to be together, but then deleted her out of his life. So i rang my friend, and asked her if he had a younger sister, if his mum and dad were divorced (he said his sister lived with his mum, and he lived with his dad) She told me he infact didnt have a younger sister, and his mum and dad were very much still together, and she was best friends with his younger brother, who also lived with him.I then asked his younger brother if he had a sister and if the boy who had told me had facebook, he told me his brother did have facebook and no they didnt have a younger sister. I went on this boys facebook and to my suprise the boys profile picture on facebook was the exact same as the one he had used on msn, and all his details were the same. Then when i emailed him on facebook asking him why he was so sick in the head to make some random girl he didnt even know so heartbroken and to try and ruin a happy relationship for no reason he denied he had even said anything.My friend also questioned him and he said i was making it up for attention. This has still left me so angry, me and my boyfriend are fine, and very much still in love and together. But i cant get over it, i often think about it and it makes my blood boil. Im so angry that someone could do that. Why would you purposly ruin it. He must of gone on my facebook and seen that me and my boyfriend had written that we were missing each other. It annoys me that he used my boyfriend in some sick joke, and was willing to see us split up over his lies all for his own amusement.How can i get over it? I feel like the only way i will is if someone does to him what he said he was going to do to my boyfriend, i want him to pay for all the pain he put me and my boyfriend through. Please help me, i hate feeling so angry.
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best friend, divorce, facebook, heartbroken, msn, on holiday, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (12 September 2010):
Whenever someone behaves in a horrible way and it makes me angry, but I can't do anything about it, I try to laugh about it instead of be angry. Here's this unstable guy, who makes up pathetic lies because he's jealous, unhappy, angry, who knows. You and your boyfriend are good, probably stronger than ever after overcoming this little problem. And he's going to get what's coming to him. Eventually, if he continues to be this way, people will know what kind of person he's like.
So just try to laugh it off, as some pathetic person being a jerk. You don't have to do anything to get back at him, him being a jerk will eventually do it for you.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Agree with the others. ALWAYS keep your identity a secret and never give away personal info on social networking sites. And dont ever chat with anyone you dont know personally. If you hadn't accepted his request for chat, none of this fiasco would have happened. Also, your facebook account clearly wasn't locked. I'm on facebook and I know that unless you enable the lock feature, everyone can see your profile and your wall and pictures. Dont ever compromise on personal safety. This is a lesson for you, and tell all your friends that is a potential threat.
There are all kinds of idiots in this planet. People will try to mess around with you in whatever way they can. Dont even try to figure out why...there's no explanation for it other than the fact that they'r all sadistic morons. Forget about all the nonsense that he said...just remember to always be safe in future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): Thanks for the advice, im the poster of the question.
Celtic tiger, i mentioned in my story he was very close to my friend at one point, before he used her. Thats how i had his msn, when your young and your friend has a 'boyfriend' everyone used to add him. I hadnt used my msn in years, i literally downloaded it on to the laptop whilst we were away because facebook chat was so crappy. Like i said i didnt have him on facebook, and i didnt accept him on msn. He was just there from all the years ago. Thanks anyways though. xx
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A
female
reader, ginaice +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Hi,
sometimes people say and do things that we necessarily don't understand and never will, people try to hurt other people for reasons unknown mainly because they are feeling some sort of pain themselves.
the main thing is that you now know the truth which means you are able to move on. your boyfriend must be feeling hurt him. the best thing to do move on easier said than done i no but with time and trust you will be able to..
anger is an emotion that will pass giving time.
i wish you the best.
G
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (11 September 2010):
 I think you are just going to have to move on from this. Yes it was unkind, stupid and cruel, but getting even more upset isnt going to change that.
This guy obviously has serious issues with his mental stability and morals. Stay well clear.
Perhaps also learn from this. Why did you accept someone on MSN you didn't know? As I understand it you have to accept someone to be able to talk to them on MSN, so why did you? If you had just ignored him this whole situation would never have happened. Perhaps think more about your own safety too, this guy could have been anyone, an internet stalker, paedophile, whatever. I would be more concerned about how he got your email in the first place. Personal saftey is no 1. Never put your email on your facebook. Make sure it is all hidden so that random strangers cannot contact you.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Find comfort in the fact that you and your boyfriend stood through the blackness of a deranged boy and emerged from the fire of pain standing strong.
Instead of hating this bored little man, you should be thanking him for showing you how strong your relationship is and for revealing to you how strongly your boyfriend feels about you.
This pathetic man deserves no attention. Pay him no heed and just enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend. He will get what he deserves in one way or another.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (11 September 2010):
 move on from this- it didn't work and by letting it upset you he is having his desired effect.
this boy is a grade A twat, and getting him back will likely only add fuel to some imaginary fire in his warped head. the best thing to do with nutcases who try to manipulate you is to ignore them and cut all contact. eventually the problem will fade in your memory.
there isn't much you can do and while it is frustrating it hasn't broken you up. focus on the good things you have going and let the negative emotions go, they are doing you more harm than good.
things are not that bad x
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (11 September 2010):
 You need to forget about this incident hun. Not so long ago someone told my ex boyfriend that i had been getting sh^gged above a chippy, by all it's employees!!! Vicious rumours that weren't true, and i stood my ground as i know i did nothing wrong.
Block this guy who made up this horrible rumour on facebook and MSN, you clearly believe that your bf did nothing wrong. Staying angry only gives the guy who made the rumour up more satisfaction (believe me, i'm still livid inside when i think about the rumour that was made up about me)
Just ignore it and carry on with your life.
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