| A
age
51-59,
*
writes: I'm just wondering...With all the young, hot, semi-nude, perfect female bodies constantly paraded on TV, ads, etc.(not even considering porn... let's not go there), can a middle-aged, post menopausal women still look attractive to a middle aged man?I seriously want to know. I judge myself harshly, I know, but it's very difficult to feel attractive when I look at myself in the mirror and see the "laugh lines", the grey streaks in my hair and my not so perky breasts. I realize I cannot compete (and that's not my issue). I just want to know if the bar has been raised so high that men no longer want to look at anything less than the best.
View related questions:
breasts, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am so delighted! I cannot tell you guys/gals what reading your posts has done for my mood this evening.
I have a wonderful BF, he's my age--he thinks I'm fabulous. I just start feeling like... when the newness of the relationship wears off, I'll look old and plain to him.
You guys/gals did make me think about doing a little more with my hair. I have to count my pennies these days and that's one area I tend to scrimp on. My job requires me to wear scrubs, get dirty and sweaty, and hang out with dogs and cats--they don't care about hair, so I get complacent about it and tend to let it go a little too long between cuts and colors! NO MORE!!
Thankfully (or maybe sadly) my state of depression (which ended a little over a year ago-but had gone on for over 5 years) caused me to lose weight and, with my job being very physical, I was able to uncover some muscles and toned areas I didn't know existed. I've made a special effort to keep the weight off by eating healthy foods and avoiding the junk food--it really helped my complexion, too. When I'm happy, I gain weight--go figure.
WOW, I feel like a million bucks--and that's after a 12 hour shift with only a 15 minute lunch break.
Thanks, everyone, for restoring my faith in humanity (lol) and helping me believe there's more to life than how high my boobs sit!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010):
Hello, I'm so glad you posted this!
I was you 'exactly' two years ago, getting through the end of the menopause which for me started earlier than most, I am now 48.
I changed jobs around the same time and gained two stone in weight as well.
For a while, I carried on as though it didn't matter to me.
I soon started seeing this 'other' woman in the mirror and thought 'who the hell is that' I felt miserable.
I had always kept myself trim, trendy, and was always popular and outgoing before.
After being on a beach holiday and feeling fat, ugly and deflated, I decided to get myself back to how I used to be.
I started eating healthily, started excercising and toning up a little, changed my hair colour back to being lighter, etc.
Before long, and without really noticing, I had lost a stone in weight and that made me determined to carry on and lose the other stone, and one day I actually looked in the mirror and saw the younger me staring back.It felt fantastic!
I can't tell you how much my confidence soared back into my life!
I smile back at men when I notice them watching me, even on escalators!
Oh yes, I will say that I am not perfect, my breasts are softer than a younger woman's, I have laughter lines and a few crows feet around my eyes, but I will say that doesn't bother me at all.
It's all about the way you feel yourself, if you feel unattractive, there is only you who can do something about it. If you feel good, you give out good feelings.
You need to change your image a little, maybe diet a little if you feel frumpy, when you go shopping for clothes, do not stick to things which you believe a forty something should wear.
Get measured properly for a bra, this made a massive change to me, a proper fitting bra changes your shape a lot.
Fashions do not have an age limit so much these days, but of course don't over do it!
Apply make up every day.
Watch people around you, I mean really take more notice!
You will see that men do look at you, and if they do, just smile!
If you are not feeling good about yourself, it will show in your body language and men will not want to approach you anyway.
It is really tough going through the menopause and there is a saying 'it either makes or breaks you'
Don't be one of those ladies who lets the menopause turn you into an old lady before your time. 40s in not old these days.
In answer to your question.
Yes lots of men find women in their 40s attractive, especially women who take care of themselves and make an effort to look their best.
Good look and have a great time finding you!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010): I'm a 26-year-old man, and I often sleep with women in their 40s.
I'm actually quite good looking (marathon runner+soccer player) with a great sense of fashion. Younger women go after me constantly, but I end up going for the women in their 40s. The reason why:
Being sexy isn't just about physical appearance. It also has to do with the way a woman acts. A middle-aged woman knows what she wants from me. The sex ends up being amazing because she isn't shy about telling/showing me exactly what she wants. Also, a middle-aged woman has been having sex for 20, 30+ years. She's got a lot more experience than a woman in her late teens or early 20s.
Personality wise, an older woman isn't gonna be insecure or unsure about who she is and what she wants in life. This mental maturity is also stimulating to many men.
So can a middle-aged woman be attractive? Absolutely! Be confident and don't let those advertisements get to you. ^_^
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Oh sure.
First of all, it's not like any average middle aged man can actually get the eye candy that they feast their eyes on. Men get older too, they get receding hairlines and man boobs and love handles. They need glasses to read their newspaper. It's not like ANY middle aged man can just snap his fingers and have a flock of hot bodied nymphettes at his feet .
So, the most sensible of them , at least, will be realistic in their choices and expectations.
Second, a middle aged man who is still interested only in tits and ass ,as he was at 15, is someone whom you don't want to meet , so you are not missing anything if he does not look at you . A decent, intelligent mature man will be attracted by personality ,charme,wit,wisdom,tenderness,warmth etc.etc.
all things that have no age limit. Of course,he will prefer all these things wrapped up in a decent looking package - but that does not mean that if you don't look like
a pornstar he will ignore you !
Third, if you are not happy with your self image - change it. Gray hairs ? Why ? There's no shortage of beauty salons. Nowadays no woman has an excuse for looking frumpy. Even without going under the knife of a plastic surgeon, there are tons of things you can do to feel better about yourself and get back some self confidence, and some sense of your personal style and attractiveness.
Hit the gym. Do Pilates. Or take a dance class. Get a new haircut, tasteful makeup, cool clothes. Take care of your teeth and nails. The list goes on forever , - just do something that makes YOU happy to look at yourself in the mirror. Male glances will follow accordingly.
the list goes on and on,
...............................
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Are you talking about a photo shoot or a relationship?
I'm a middle-aged man, and I recognize that there's all sorts of eye candy around -- more all the time it seems. Sure it's nice to look. But wanting to do more than look? No thanks.
If I'm going to spend time with someone I need to be able to relate to them. And I relate far better to someone who has been around the block a couple of times, as I have. Your laugh lines are proof.
My wife is around your age, and I'm thrilled to look at her any chance I get. I find her tremendously desirable, grey hairs, sags and all.
Yes, there are middle-aged guys who do want a tight 20 year old. Personally I think that's a sign of mid-life crisis, or worse, immaturity. I'd be far more interested in someone closer to my age. Time has started to have its way with me -- I have no problem with others similarly affected. The life experience makes up for any perkiness lost elsewhere.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 I'm not a middle-aged man but I felt I needed to say something.Personality goes a long way. All my friends keep saying that Megan Fox is the hottest thing alive or whatever...I used to think so, but then I heard she insulted Michael Bay, the guy who made her famous and he's a great director! After that point, I was never attracted to her, I don't know why exactly but I'm assuming it's because I think she's a dumb b****.I was once attracted to my English teacher because she was intelligent and poetic at times. She wasn't the prettiest, she was the funniest but there was this one time when I found myself wildly attracted to her after hearing her opinion on 'Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress'. Trust me, just because there are skinny women on television who cover up less than half their body...doesn't make them attractive, it makes them cheap and tasteless. Just be confident and work out, do things with your hair, dye it, curl it or straighten it, whatever works and before you know it, you'll have guys both old and young, drooling over you. I hope that helps.
...............................
|
