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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Why can't insecure people get over they're negative experiences from the past?
Q. Hello. I'm an insecure person, I have all those symptoms, but I cannot afford professional help so I came here, because I know that you're very helpful. I kind of "discovered" the root of my insecurity, it lays in my past, I've been cheated ...
A. 17 October 2010: The problem with this is that you should ALREADY be what he wants you to be, you should not have to force yourself to be anything different.
It is good that you know to control how 'clingy' you are with him but you cannot go on like this indefini... (read in full...)
Is it true all men want to cheat?
Q. I got in a disagreement earlier with my mom and brother that really made me upset. I won't go into how we got onto this subject, but my mom and brother were telling me that all men cheat or want to cheat, and that for me to believe otherwise is ...
A. 17 October 2010: Such statements are the children of ignorance. There are some men who will definitely cheat and there are some who wish to cheat and then there are some men who would never dream of cheating. Eventually, I think most people will face a time in their ... (read in full...)
Why can't insecure people get over they're negative experiences from the past?
Q. Hello. I'm an insecure person, I have all those symptoms, but I cannot afford professional help so I came here, because I know that you're very helpful. I kind of "discovered" the root of my insecurity, it lays in my past, I've been cheated ...
A. 17 October 2010: You already know why you are insecure, the reason why you involuntarily feed these thoughts is because you are trying to protect yourself and ready yourself for something that may or may not occur.
I see how you are trying to be everythi... (read in full...)
Voice your opinion on giving 12 year old children iPhones and the access to FREE PORN that Safari browser gives them.
Q. I would just like to know what parents out there or any one for that matter thinks about the fact that in our society we protect our children from movies with inappropriate sexual content with NC-17 ratings, but we hand them and iPhone as young as ...
A. 17 October 2010: I wholeheartedly disagree with the first poster who writes as though we are helpless and it is necessary to just sit by as we watch future generations pass into a world where sex is more putrescent than it was ever meant to be. That is not true.
... (read in full...)
My family blackmailed me!
Q. My sister and my brother were blackmailing me because they found out that I was having a romantic relationship with my cousin and they treated me really bad, calling me names and everything. They blackmailed me for revennge with exposing my secret ...
A. 17 October 2010: Moving to a state where your sort of relationship is legal. I know you love you mom but you just cannot accept her trying to force you how to live your life like this. She has shown her discomfort and you are aware of it, that is all she can and ... (read in full...)
I can tell he cares but is sex all he wants?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now, we're both in high school. Even tho we both know its wrong, we have sex. But lately i wonder if thats the only reason he's with me. We got in a fight about a week ago. But we talked and fixed ...
A. 16 October 2010: I'm sorry to say this but it seems as though it was in fact all he wanted from you. He did not even show care when you left him and his friends as they went skateboarding, he seems to neglect you far too often and somehow you still believe that he ... (read in full...)
My family blackmailed me!
Q. My sister and my brother were blackmailing me because they found out that I was having a romantic relationship with my cousin and they treated me really bad, calling me names and everything. They blackmailed me for revennge with exposing my secret ...
A. 16 October 2010: Then just leave them if you can. Why should you just sit as your family shoves you through hell? You are 21 years old, is there no way for your to leave your state? You should not have to suffer through blackmail from your own family.
Thoug... (read in full...)
I can make an excuse for anything my ex does!
Q. i need to be done with my ex boyfriend, but i just can't be done. i can make an excuse for anything he does. like when my friend committed suicide, he told me it was pry my fault. i kinda figured he said that b/c i told him i was going with anoth...
A. 16 October 2010: Stop making excuses and start finding faults. He told you that your friend committed suicide, not because he was angry that you were going to the funeral with another guy but because he is selfish and malevolent and he wants to play with your ... (read in full...)
Why didn't my younger lover come to see me?
Q. Hello, I dated a guy who is 15 years younger then me. I was his very first true love (as he said). We started dating when he was 20. The relationship was wonderful as i feel myself young again and wanted him so much. I had a strong sexual at...
A. 16 October 2010: Maybe he was afraid. Maybe moving to a new city because of education started changing him, perhaps he saw himself in a new light and what he was doing, maybe he thought he was not ready for something like this. Or maybe he had found someone else in ... (read in full...)
Why don't white hot guys date black girls?
Q. I am a black, fairy attractive young female. I've always been attracted to white guys because of my background. I'm pro interracial relationships and plan to settle down with a different race (white). I want to know why is it that hot attractive w...
A. 16 October 2010: Yes they might be intimidated because of what society has taught them. So some might think "It's a black woman, she is probably from the slums" while others will know "It's a black woman...I should probably get to know her" (Obviously not literally ... (read in full...)
HELP! I'm miserable without her, but should I let her go?
Q. My girlfriend and I mutually agreed we should take “a break”. But this is not your average “take-a-break” story. We have been seeing each other 1 year. I am 41, divorced w/2 kids and she is 38, w/1 child and she has never been married. Bott...
A. 16 October 2010: First of all, you cannot break love up in percentages. From what I have read, you both gave each other "100%" of each other's love. There is just another side of her that needs to know what could have happened and you cannot blame her for that. No ... (read in full...)
Why don't white hot guys date black girls?
Q. I am a black, fairy attractive young female. I've always been attracted to white guys because of my background. I'm pro interracial relationships and plan to settle down with a different race (white). I want to know why is it that hot attractive w...
A. 16 October 2010: I have seen plenty of interracial relationships like the ones you are looking for. My maths teacher had a black wife for example. I am pretty sure she is not with him for financial gain because they live in Hong Kong.
There are lots of reasons ... (read in full...)
I realized that he was watching porn as I was cooking his dinner. Why does he hurt me this way?
Q. im with my bf 9 months now and when i got with him things werent so good as i just split up from an x things got really good and i changed everything for him how i dressed my friends and feel like a totally new person. he has accused me of looking ...
A. 16 October 2010: He should not have done that. Or at least, he should have had some sort of empathy for you, just to understand why you would feel so tarnished inside. I loved reading about how much you loved him, it was sincere and enlightening which makes me ... (read in full...)
How can I get over the guilt of my abortion?
Q. This really isn't a question but I know many of you who went through abortions are probably feeling the same way I do. I had an abortion in 2008. I was 17, and It was NOT my choice. I am not 20 and I still can't get over it, no one understands. I ...
A. 16 October 2010: You needn't feel guilt. Though you were pressured into having an abortion, you did the right thing because either way, you were not ready. Going through the abortion however, built you and now you are a stronger mother than you would have been.
... (read in full...)
Should I propose, even though I can't afford it?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for just over 2 years and we've spoken before about getting married.I know she would like to get engaged,because she told me,and i do to,she hinted about new years eve.Thing is,if we do get engaged,i wouldnt ...
A. 15 October 2010: It is just a suggestion but perhaps she will understand. Proposals are a promise, a sign of readiness for the devotion you are about to commit to. Perhaps you cannot propose to her with an engagement ring, instead, consider a promise ring. Just to ... (read in full...)
Never ending sufferings
Q. I am a 19 yr old girl and i am depressed about the things that l am suffering. Even though i am a very positive girl, still i am not able to overcome the obstacles. I was molested by my maternal uncle since childhood till now bt still i remained ...
A. 15 October 2010: I can see why you would keep quiet about something like your uncle molesting you, for the sake of your family but somebody has to know! You cannot let him do this to you, take advantage of your body like that! Forget the little good things he has ... (read in full...)
Raised my stepdaughter as my real child up until I caught her having sex
Q. I am 44 and have been happily married for 10 years. I have no children of my own, but my wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. I love her to death and raised her as my own since she was 6 years old. She is now 16, turning 17 in 2 months ...
A. 15 October 2010: I am glad you handled things the way you did with your daughter, sitting her down and talking to her calmly was a step in the right direction. I can only suggest you sit your wife down now and tell her that you need counselling, you just cannot tell ... (read in full...)
We are both married to others but love each other
Q. its been almost 3 yrs we are both married with children ...he has 4 and i have 3. We were together the first time for 10 months he broke it off and went back to his wife and kids...a month went by he contacted me we talked on and off the on what ...
A. 15 October 2010: You cannot stay in your marriage right now. I know it is a strange question but is your husband willing to pay for the children at least? Will your current lover not support you financially? Why would you have to worry about your own financial ... (read in full...)
If I marry my 3rd cousin and we have children, will they be born with birth defects?
Q. hello everyone, well i have been dating my third cousin for 7months now. My mom does not approve and my dad is like watever, he says if that makes me happy then to do what ever i want. He is 8 years older than me and im 18 so you do the math. well ...
A. 15 October 2010: You are still very much blood relatives. Any geneticist would be able to tell that you two are related therefore, the chances of genetic defects is still quite high, although not AS high as 'direct' blood relatives, it is still quite high.
I sup... (read in full...)
I'm an in-the-closet gay guy, and I really like this guy I work with.
Q. Ok, so I've asked a couple people I know about this, but I want to get an outside opinion. I'm an in-the-closet gay guy, and I really like this guy I work with. Sometimes I think that he might like me back, but I feel like its just me seeing what I ...
A. 15 October 2010: He winks at you and tells you that you have a nice smile? I don't often hear of other straight men winking at other straight men and then telling them they like their smile. I think it is safe to tell him. Just consider one other problem, are you ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to have sex with him, but I'm afraid he'll break up with me if I don't!
Q. well i'm 15 and my boyfriend wants to have sex his 16 and i kinda want to wait a year or two i love him alot and i dont want him to brake up with me if i tell him no. how do i tell him i want to wait without him braking up with me?...
A. 15 October 2010: Just tell him you are not ready. I know how afraid you are that perhaps he will leave you but, you have to realize that if he ends this relationship solely on the fact that you are not ready to have sex, he probably is not the right man for you ... (read in full...)
I've been trying to persuade my ex to come back for ten months!
Q. My ex girlfriend who I love a lot and she knows it, recently got drunk in a party and kissed one of my friend. This hurts me a lot. At first, I pretend that I am okay with it but my best friend found out that I was upset about it and told her that ...
A. 15 October 2010: There is already an improvement in your relationship, all I can say is that you need to just keep being the best man you can be.
I am partly afraid for you. She cheated on you when she was drunk, what does that say about her? Has she tried to... (read in full...)
Do I tell my in-laws their daughter cheated on me?
Q. I found out my wife been cheating on me. Do I tell her father and mother? ...
A. 15 October 2010: Well what have you done about it? Have you confronted her about it and asked her why? Or do you know why she cheated? Does she still love you? Do you love her? There really is no reason to actually tell your in-laws because right now it is between ... (read in full...)
Why did he get quiet after I asked him if he was sure if he wanted to live with me?
Q. My boyfriend and i have known each other for 6 years. We decided to get back together earlier in the year. He lives 2 counties away and have to pass my county to go to work. So i asked him did he want to live with me to make his travel better. He ...
A. 15 October 2010: He probably got the impression that you were only asking him to be nice. I suppose he does not wish to burden you. It is just a theory though. Another would be that perhaps he is just making sure that this is what he wants because moving in might ... (read in full...)
How can I break through with my partner's kids?
Q. How can I break through and become friends with my partners kids who basicly hate me. They are polite but very very stand offish. is there anyway I can reassure them being my friend doesnt equate to replacing their real parent. I just wish we could ...
A. 15 October 2010: Your partner should be supporting you on this. I would suggest perhaps a day where it was only you and your partner's kids, just getting to know each other so that they do not instantly see you as an invasive member of their family. Instead they ... (read in full...)
Be a Single mother searching or a in a false marriage?
Q. I am 19 and my fiancee is 25 we ave a 6 month old son, Our relationship began when we mt at work and at the time i was still honing over my first love whom i had been tryin to get back with for 2 years, so when he told me he loved me i think i was ...
A. 15 October 2010: Well I am glad he decided to stay with you and I am glad you told him the truth. You know that you have found a good man who loves you, something about this just does not seem right. I understand why you do not want to be alone and I understand why ... (read in full...)
Be a Single mother searching or a in a false marriage?
Q. I am 19 and my fiancee is 25 we ave a 6 month old son, Our relationship began when we mt at work and at the time i was still honing over my first love whom i had been tryin to get back with for 2 years, so when he told me he loved me i think i was ...
A. 15 October 2010: Well I am glad he decided to stay with you and I am glad you told him the truth. You know that you have found a good man who loves you, something about this just does not seem right. I understand why you do not want to be alone and I understand why ... (read in full...)
Should I dump the girl I love to go for a hotter girl?
Q. Hi I am currently in a relationship with someone I love. My friends say she is gross and ugly. A "hotter" girl likes me but I don't like her. Should I dump my current gf and go for the other one?...
A. 15 October 2010: Apparently your girlfriend is not the gross and ugly one, it is her boyfriend, who allows the insidious words of his 'friends' to even touch your relationship with a girl you claim to love. If that were true, you would not even be considering this. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant wife questions husband's fidelity after finding sex profile
Q. I'm eight months pregnant and I recently found out that my husband has a sex profile on a website that he frequently visits. I learned this from a friend who stumbled across it on her search for whatever. She sent me a link and the most recent time ...
A. 14 October 2010: Please do not be offended when I say this, but perhaps you both need to carefully consider where this relationship is going.
If what sexlessintheuk said applies to your husband, he needs to consider whether or not he has the courage to step up ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be a guy who doesn't like porn
Q. Ok here is the situation, I am visually turned on by females, and always have been. Thats important because the next part of what im about to say hinges off that fact. Porn as a whole has never done anything for me. I have always been more ...
A. 14 October 2010: I would just like to stress how utterly uneducated their statements were when they tried to tell you that watching pornography is 'natural'. Far from it.
It is not a right of passage into manhood, it is not a requirement, it is not a privilig... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to be in love with my fathers cousin?
Q. I have recently fallen in love with my dads cousin. Their mothers are sisters. She is10 yrs older than i am.(30) We crazy abt each other and dont really care what the family thinks or says. But is it wrong for us to be in love?...
A. 14 October 2010: You are still pretty much blood relatives. Yes it is wrong.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How can I win my wife back and keep our marriage alive?
Q. My wife and i are getting ready go through a divorce but were still married at this time. She is already in a realationship with a guy that she dated 5 times in the past. How could i win her back and keep our marriage alive? I told her that im sorry ...
A. 14 October 2010: She sounds as though she has already made up her mind about this marriage, otherwise it would have been a while until she started dating someone again wouldn't it?
I suppose you could always try and give her an anniversary present, somethin... (read in full...)
I think my b/f is just waiting for me to dump him
Q. Hi everyone! I checked my bf on facebook, his status says "i am separated and i am looking for dating" and the other one says " if your gf slap you what can you do?tell me then i wil tell you what i did", since we have been together(3 yrs) i never ...
A. 14 October 2010: You should dump him. The moment you realized that he didn't care about how you felt, the relationship died. Move on and find someone who will not show such disrespect.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Cheating hb treating ME badly!!!
Q. I caught my hb of 6 years cheating on me for the 2nd time... The 1st time was last year in November.. When I caught him he literally begged me to give him a 2nd chance.. And I did for our kids sake....everything was great until about august this ...
A. 14 October 2010: I think a divorce is necessary. He is obviously treating you harshly because he feels some shame that he has had to beg you to take him back, either that or he WANTS you to leave him so he is trying to push you away. Either way, you deserve someone ... (read in full...)
S it right to have it end like this... Or should we try at it?
Q. First off, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this, I really appreciate the help. Anywho, I'm pretty upset right now because my girlfriend and I just got out of yet another argument about an hour ago and I don't know what to do. W...
A. 14 October 2010: Just don't fight. You are probably thinking 'easier said than done' but it is just as easy. When you feel a conversation will escalate into an argument, ask to just stop. Reason with each other, why does she feel that way? Let her know why you feel ... (read in full...)
He doesn't feel the same as when we first started dating
Q. I'm not a person to give up easily and I believe that we are meant to be together, but he says he is no longer 'in love' with me. He still lvoes me, but doesn't feel the same as he did when we first started dating. I love him and want to be with him ...
A. 14 October 2010: Try and find the time in your busy schedules to date each other again and see if that doesn't re-ignite the fire that once burned between you. Business costs as much time as it does make money, make it a priority to have at least one date if your ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with my friend...
Q. Things have happened between me and my friend we have gotten into a to fights over a couple of months. He said he was done with me, but he's really, really special too. I've never had anyone one so special to me, I love him to death. Last year our ...
A. 14 October 2010: Your heart is telling you to hug him. I say go for it and hug him the next time you see him. That is what he wanted all along. He said "if you really wanted to hug me, you would have done it already". Just hug him and show him that there really is ... (read in full...)
My family want me to forgive my dad for sexually abusing me!
Q. I was sexually abused by my father when I was little and I kept it to myself until few months ago. I told my mother and my father's sister. My mother refused to believe me which hurt me so much. My aunt sort of believed me and spoke to my mother ...
A. 13 October 2010: You are being absolutely normal, they have no right to force forgiveness from you, especially for something that is so unforgivable. Even God would not allow for something so vile to pass, they were wrong to misuse the word of God and you cannot ... (read in full...)
She seems to put her friend before me, am I right to be worried?
Q. My girlfriend has a best friend who she is really close to. She's female. But my girlfriend goes to her whenever she is sad or whenever she is worried and talks it through with her. She speaks to her always before or sometimes instead of me. Should ...
A. 13 October 2010: All I can tell you is that you have to try and be the best boyfriend you can be. But do not worry or be offended that she confides in her best friend more than she does with you right now because that can change. Just focus on making her happy when ... (read in full...)
He's 40, I'm going to be 18..could it work?
Q. I'm about to be eighteen in November and I'm attracted to a man who's forty. I have to admit, I lied about my age. I said I was nineteen and he bought it because I look the part and use a rich vocabulary. Today, I took the liberty to tell ...
A. 13 October 2010: You were wrong to lie, but I suppose if what he finds attractive about you is your personality, then perhaps patience is the answer.
A lot of people write to the unknown angels that dare answer on this site, a lot of people fear the differen... (read in full...)
Am I destined to die alone?
Q. I am a 25 year old architect who has reached utter despair in the quest of finding that special lady to grow old together... This sentence sums up my life quite well however; the reason I am writing is due to the fact that I have not been with ...
A. 13 October 2010: Your life is not written in stone, neither is the fate of your broken soul. You are still very young and there is a woman out there waiting for a man like you, to love her and cherish her. Do not assume that in the vast populace of humanity, you are ... (read in full...)
Raised my stepdaughter as my real child up until I caught her having sex
Q. I am 44 and have been happily married for 10 years. I have no children of my own, but my wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. I love her to death and raised her as my own since she was 6 years old. She is now 16, turning 17 in 2 months ...
A. 13 October 2010: It will be hard but you have to try and push those images away. Most people see things they wish they could 'un-see' because it is so terrible. What worked for me was, I replaced the image with something else, that way, whenever I was reminded of ... (read in full...)
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