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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Confusing on again, off again relationship, any ideas where his head is??
Q. Hello. I've found myself in a muddle with a guy and would like some advice. I've known him for eight months, and in that time I've seen him on and off for three times, each time ending with a fight because he 'wasn't sure what he wanted'. We ...
A. 1 October 2010: That depends on what you want. Do you want to be friends with benefits? If not, I suggest you avoid sex completely until you're both sure of what you want out of this. I think you should go to dinner with him and see what happens.
I hope that hel... (read in full...)
I cheated on my gf who cared deeply, I hurt her, I have such remorse, now what??
Q. *Sighs*...Here it goes. I am 20 years old and my girlfriend is 30 and we have been together for 2 years. She is from another country and I moved there to be with her. I became confused and just obsessively negative about the relationship upo...
A. 1 October 2010: Make it up to her by showing her how much you love her, make her happy everyday so you can both forget about it and so you can remind yourself about how much you love her. and stop drinking so heavily.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Parents say he doesn't deserve me
Q. in this period of time in my life, i have a really big problem!! im 19 years old, and my boyfriend is 25 years old, we have started this relationship before 3 years ago, and we are still madly in love with each other!!the problem is that my parents ...
A. 1 October 2010: It is not so complicated. Your family should respect your choices. They are not the ones dating him, you are and so only you can decide whether or not he deserves you. If he treats you well and if you are happy with him, your family need not ... (read in full...)
How can you justify looking at violent or rape porn?
Q. I don't just mean like being beaten and screaming, I mean the stuff where the woman gets her head shoved in a toilet, where the guy does anything until she cries or gags, etc... Why is that OK to get off on so long as it's not child porn or ...
A. 1 October 2010: I must fully disagree with the anonymous reader who compared rape porn to a movie in a theatre. Scenes in theatre are done for dramatic effect to show the audience just how cruel the world can be. Rape porn is not done for the same thing. Rape porn ... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend ever stray or get bored of me?
Q. hello. will my boyfriend ever stray? were together a year now we see each other nearly every day. will he get bored of me? i dont want him to i love him to bits it just worries me sometimes. is it just me been paranoid? we get on great were always l...
A. 30 September 2010: Does the progression of your relationship make either of you uncomfortable? Only you two know whether or not this relationship is moving too fast for you.
You have nothing to worry about. Remember that there are couples out there that stay lov... (read in full...)
Still Broken Over Break-Up
Q. Last May (2010), my boyfriend of a little over a year broke up with me. It came out of nowhere, and completely destroyed me. He broke up with me right before we both Graduated, and said that he was tired of not being able to do what he wanted. ...
A. 30 September 2010: This sort of emotional trauma is common. What's done is done and there is nothing you can do to change it. What you can do is think about how you two are now. Is he good to you? Does he make you feel loved or is his very touch a poisonous reminder ... (read in full...)
I just want my Mom back the way she used to be! Help me!
Q. Hi! I've already sent in a plea for help a few months back. I got wonderful feedback, but I'm still having trouble. This has something to do with my mom. This is a really hard topic for me, and I apologize in advance if I write a lot. I just want to ...
A. 30 September 2010: You do not need to cry. Your mother still loves you and your siblings very much. I know how much it tears you apart inside when you remember your mother acting unfairly and cruelly towards you. You almost feel betrayed because she is your mother, ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex boyfriend delaying meeting up with me?
Q. My ex boyfriend and i have been broken up for about a month and during this period, he has called me a couple of times, sent me his vacation pictures, even called me the names he gave me when we were going out, "peach" and "beautiful". After about ...
A. 30 September 2010: I have two theories. The first is quite simple, he is still quite busy and cannot see an opening in his schedule, unless you know otherwise.
The second theory is that he is thinking it over in his head. You have to remember that he is your ex ... (read in full...)
When we were together he seemed interested.. but now is not making an effort to talk to me.
Q. I met a guy at a college party and he ended up giving me a ride home.. turns out we lived really close so he invited me to his place before taking me home and we ended up watching a movie. He slowly did the whole putting his arm around me and was ...
A. 29 September 2010: It has only been a short while. Do not worry just yet, he probably is still very interested in you. If he does not contact you today, perhaps you can contact him a while later to check up on him.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Could this be a sign of a mental illness?
Q. I am married to a man that can never see his own flaws, but yet he can always point out my flaws. It's like he has to be right because he is the head of the household. I am aware that he may know he is wrong, and just have so much pride to actually ...
A. 29 September 2010: It is more likely to be simple arrogance than a mental disorder.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Why is my ex boyfriend delaying meeting up with me?
Q. My ex boyfriend and i have been broken up for about a month and during this period, he has called me a couple of times, sent me his vacation pictures, even called me the names he gave me when we were going out, "peach" and "beautiful". After about ...
A. 29 September 2010: You should bring it up first just to see if he has any free time. Besides, if he has not brought it up it probably means he is still busy doesn't it? It's only been a week.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Why do family members and relatives interrogate me just because I don't want kids?
Q. Hi everyone. I've noticed that when someone does not want to have kids, everyone interrogates them. They demand answers. But when someone does want to have kids, no-one interrogates them! How does that work? It sounds like discrimination to me...
A. 28 September 2010: Well, you must first consider what it means to bring a child into this world. For a family, it means you are extending the bloodline, ensuring that your family strives. It also shows what kind of a person you are. Either you are afraid to commit to ... (read in full...)
Should I keep holding out until I've worked out his intentions a little better? Or should I sleep with him?
Q. Hi, I'm hoping for some advice, esp. from any male readers, about sex in a new relationship. I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks, he's arranged a few amazing dates for us and seems really nice. BUT his friends are players, and despite him ...
A. 28 September 2010: You will get your answer either way. If he loses interest in you if you hold out a little longer (say a month more or so) then you will know that he mainly wanted sex. When you are in his bed, if he makes any moves, just tell him that you are not ... (read in full...)
How do I find the strength to leave him?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles I really hope you can help me. I have been in a relationship for close to three years now and for the duration of it I believe my partner has been cheating on me with different women. Back in March something wasnt right so b...
A. 28 September 2010: He is wrong to tell you that all men cheat. You deserve a man who will love you with all his heart, so much so that he would not even look at another woman with the thought of cheating lingering in the overflowing hollow of his heart. There are good ... (read in full...)
I lied about my age when we first started talking, and now I need to tell him the truth but I don't know how....
Q. I'm 16 years old, I've been meeting up with someone who I like very much for about a year now, and it's just been meeting and hanging out a bit in the past but now it's starting to be more like it could really go somewhere despite obstacles. which ...
A. 28 September 2010: You know WHAT to do. You have to tell him. As for the how, the only way I know how is to sit him down and talk to him about what you did and the lack of reason behind why you did it. You are only a year older than you truly are to him so it should ... (read in full...)
My husband can't decide if he loves me or not
Q. When i met my husband six years ago, he was the love of my life, and I knew it right away. In our first conversation, he told me he would marry me. I thought he was crazy, but he was right. Except, two weeks after the beginning of our ...
A. 28 September 2010: Are you sure he is not bipolar?
You may want to wait to have children. You cannot raise children while situations such as these are happening. It is all up to him. But it seems as though he is playing you for a fool, using you to express his ange... (read in full...)
I can't cope with my wife's mood swings!
Q. i've been married for a month. its so very very hard. She is on medication for depression and she sometimes has described her self as bi-polar - in which case, if that is the case, is the prozac she is on appropriate? How things go is that thi...
A. 28 September 2010: If it is a mental condition such as being bipolar or having depression, that would account for all her aggressive behavior. She seems to love you well enough though from what you described. It is up to you though. Ask yourself two very large, very ... (read in full...)
He says she's just a friend!
Q. My husband has been sending texts to his "friend" at work that says things like - only if you caddy for me while topless and nice ass! He says that she is just a friend and that he's sorry and didn't mean to disrespect me, but what should I think?...
A. 28 September 2010: He should have known that such things would have been disrespectful anyway. I would not believe him when he says "I didn't mean to disrespect you". It sounds more like a pathetic lie. Those are not the sort of things I would text to my friends ... (read in full...)
What is this? I don't know if he likes me or just wants a FWB.
Q. This past summer I started talking to a guy at my college. He didn't intially say he liked me when we first meet but I knew he did. Prior to us talking he would text me all day asking me questions about myself and vice versa. So he finally asked me ...
A. 28 September 2010: It actually sounds as though he might want a relationship, otherwise, you would always ask him what he sees this as. I think the whole situation would be a lot clearer if you opened up a little more, that is to say, a lot less standoffish.
I hop... (read in full...)
Boyfriend being cold and distant, is it related to stress?
Q. Hi everyone, thanks for taking time to read my question. Ok, so um I need help like urgently. The best relationship I ever had is about to collapse and I want to do something before it's too late. Here's the situation, I've been seeing this gu...
A. 27 September 2010: You need to ask him why he's with you. He may say that it is because he loves you and that is where you may start telling him how you feel about his attitude towards you lately. He will then have to prove it somehow. I doubt it is stress. He'd have ... (read in full...)
Gf wanting to get married to use my gi bill
Q. ok so ill just get straight to the point im 19 and in the Marine Corps my mos is mp and im also working on my bachelor degree in criminal justice my gf is still in highschool and she lives in a small town in the country and the only way kids that ...
A. 27 September 2010: Marriage is a sacred bond and should be treated as such. A couple should only marry out of love and for no other reason.
It is good that you want her to go to school and there are ways to help her with that without rushing into marriage. Talk to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend beating me--is there any safe way out of this?
Q. Ok, so I've been with this guy for 3 years, and he's been hitting me for a while now. A long time actually. After we were together for only 6 months he started to hit and it has continued these past three years. I had the option of course, like ...
A. 27 September 2010: I know you don't want to but your family should have been the FIRST to know. This neighbor of yours is a good man and I suspect he knows what it is he's getting into. Do not let your boyfriend near you. You do not deserve this sort of treatment, ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and dying inside, please help me save my marriage!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 17 years (we've been best friends for 26) and have 2 teen children. For the most part, we are very close. He seems to have issues though about hiding things from me and lying about them. We used to fight almost ...
A. 26 September 2010: I can almost feel the marriage tearing apart at the seams from the description you have just given. I must first ask that you not seek to continue this marriage solely for the sake of time spent in it. Yes, you both have spent most of your liv... (read in full...)
Does having a low IQ affect people's ability to have sex?
Q. I've got to be honest...I scored below average on an IQ test, and I have made a lot of bad decisions with my life. But the question is...Does having a low IQ affect people's ability to have sex? I mean, it would obviously cloud their judgement. ...
A. 26 September 2010: You are not dumb. Have faith in yourself and know that ALL IQ tests are faulty. There is no accurate way of determining ones IQ so do not think yourself dumb just yet. Everyone makes bad choices at least once in their life, doing so does not make ... (read in full...)
I am dating a man 37 yrs older than me
Q. i am dating a guy that is 37 yrs older than me. i love him like i never loved anyone else and he loves me the same way or even more. my question is: Is it okay that i am dating a guy 37 yrs older than me? we have plans on moving in together but idk ...
A. 25 September 2010: You are really the only person whose opinion matters on this subject. Are you comfortable with it? Nowadays, these types of relationships occur more and more. You are not alone and I don't think anyone really cares or should care as long as YOU are ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cries all the time
Q. My girlfriend likes to cry... a lot. When I first met her, she wasn't overly emotional at all, I mean, she still showed emotion, but she never really cried. But when we started going out and became more serious, she just became more and more em...
A. 25 September 2010: This one piece of advice is directed more at you than her...do not bottle your feelings up. Chances are that will only come back to bite you in the ass.
As for your girlfriend, she is going to have to learn to deal with her own emotions. I am wil... (read in full...)
Husband had an affair wants to work it out but says he can't get over her!
Q. My husband had an affair and I recently found out. I still love him and am willing to work it out. He says he still loves me but can't get over her. I told him if he wants our relationship to work, he needs to get over her, but he can't. At this ...
A. 25 September 2010: Well no one can blame either of you for feeling the way you do. He can only be blamed for acting on those feelings he had and now, he has only emphasized those feelings he had for her.
The most you can do is spend time with each other and if h... (read in full...)
I don't want an abortion but my boyfriend does
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years, we moved in together on our 1 year anniversary and our relationship is great! He is 27 and he has 3 kids and I am 21 and I have 1 child that is 3, I've recently found out that I am pregnant ...
A. 25 September 2010: This is quite a complex dilemma. I suggest you talk things over with your boyfriend. If you love each other, one day you may end up caring for five children. My mother took care of myself and my three siblings by herself. Both of you are completely ... (read in full...)
I found hidden in the closet sex video with wife and her boyfriends...
Q. Please help! So my wife told me I needed to do more around the house. Help her clean mostly. I had never really done it and I felt I should help...wish I never had. I started cleaning out our bedroom. Under the bed, behind dressers, etc......
A. 25 September 2010: Generally everyone has told you that your marriage would be sour from now on. But that will only happen if you want it to, otherwise, you can still move on from this. Your wife is still the same person before you found out about this. Truly, what ... (read in full...)
She said I insulted her and she felt cheap after we had sex
Q. Hi! I will try to make this as short as possible :-) I am 27 she's 19. We've been dating for about year and a half. I love her very much but... in the last couple of months she had become distant toward me and we have been fighting a lot. A week ago...
A. 25 September 2010: I can see why you might think she is seeing someone else, still, that assumption is somewhat premature and drastic unless you have more evidence to support such a claim.
Perhaps she feels cheap because you did insult her and she has forgiven... (read in full...)
Does my brother need help?
Q. my brother says people are talking about him and that there are cameras everywhere and saying people are recording him does this mean he is ill and needs help...
A. 24 September 2010: Such paranoia CAN be a sign of skitzophrenia or any number of alternative psychological disorders but I am not a professional psychiatrist. I suggest you seek professional help for your brother.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Changing her mind about having an abortion
Q. We found out at monday that my girlfriend is 3 weeks pregnant. She wants a abortion how can i change her mind not to do that? ...
A. 24 September 2010: That really is not your choice to make. Your girlfriend is the one carrying the child not you and right now she knows that she is not ready for a child. If you want, you can try and assure her that you will be there for her but that is only if you ... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for him but I'm struggling to get over his sleeping around while we were not together
Q. First of all thank you for any advice you can give me. I have a 3mth old baby and her dad and i arent together.but recently we started talking again after sooooo many downs and i think were cool now. But he told me he slept with different girls all ...
A. 24 September 2010: Do not get back together with him. Seperated or not, he should have still been there for you for the sake of the child but he was busy with other women. So save yourself a heartache and move on from him.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I think she's the one for me ...
Q. My girlfriend and I recently broke up and it has been tough. The hardest part is knowing that I think she's the one for me. I know that she loves me too, is there anything I can do to convince her that she and I belong together?...
A. 24 September 2010: You tell her and you discuss what went wrong with your relationship. Avoid getting too focused on who's fault it was. Just try and make it work.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend have a midlife crisis or was it that he just couldn't keep it in his pants?
Q. I have been going out with a guy for 7yrs and we were blissfully happy up until last November. He is 3yrs older than me. We bought a house last November which he probably pushed for more than I did but we both knew it was the right decision deep ...
A. 23 September 2010: In this case, ignorance would have been bliss. You were happy and yet you chose to text this woman anyway? Were there trust issues?
I honestly would ignore everything this woman says. You got your message across to her and that is all that mat... (read in full...)
No sex...no job
Q. Hi, iam a convicted felon that was released from prison december,2008. i jus recently landed a job about 3weeks ago. she gave me sex when i first got out for about a week then she started putin me on pussy probation becuz i didnt have a job. now ...
A. 23 September 2010: Has it ever occured to you that it may be because you view her as little more than a sex object? The way you describe it all is demeaning and I imagine it would make her think she is nothing more to you? Do you love her or is your motive for working ... (read in full...)
Torn between my brother and the man I love
Q. I am a 28 year old female. I live in the same house as my 24 year old brother, and have fallen in love with one of his closest friends. I tried talking to my brother about dating his friend, but he says its weird and stops talking about it. ...
A. 23 September 2010: Your brother should not be a factor, he does not govern who you give your heart to, nor does he dictate who his friend falls in love with. You are free to love whomever you chose and if your brother has a problem with that, it's his own burden to ... (read in full...)
I'm very attached to my boyfriend! how can I get over this?
Q. Thanks for taking the time to read my question! Well, there's a somewhat emotional issue I've been trying to deal with over the last couple months that has been bugging me quite a bit...and it's gotten better, but I thought maybe some of you guys...
A. 23 September 2010: It depends on what sort of urges you get. If you have an urge to hold him when he's near, there really isn't much of a problem. If you have an urge to constantly call him and know where he is, I suggest you limit yourself to a certain amount of ... (read in full...)
I hate my mom's family! Am I a bad person?
Q. Hi, I have more of a health question than a love question but it does pertain to my relationship. Agony Aunts please help! I'm a young woman who's been having periods for almost three years and they've been so irregular lately, with terrible...
A. 22 September 2010: You are not a bad person to feel this way. You cannot help feeling what you feel and the hatred and anger you feel inside is caused by two things. The first is that your mother's family go against everything you believe to be good. You said they ... (read in full...)
"Friends" don't say I love you... do they???
Q. A close-ish guy friend of mine just said 'I love you' to me on MSN. I'm pretty sure it was sincere, as he's that sort of guy and he's been being very complimentary and sort of overly lovey the last few months. Thing is, I really don't feel that way ...
A. 21 September 2010: Things will only be awkward if you let them become awkward. You can still maintain the same freindly relationship you had with him before you knew about how he felt about you. Nothing will have to change, I think he just wants to let you know how he ... (read in full...)
So afraid my feelings for this man are obsessive
Q. Long story. I have been with my bf for 11 years now. We have 2 children, beautiful and healthy, lights of my life. Our relationship has never been ideal, I have my flaws, and he has his. But in the past 3 years things have happened that have l...
A. 19 September 2010: You have nothing to worry about. You are simply recovering from a bad relationship and you want someone better than your old boyfriend. Just see how things go and if he does not feel that way about you then accept his friendship and try to move on. ... (read in full...)
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