| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Married to a distant, abusive man and I'm desperate to be touched and loved and I'm wondering about how it would be with this man!
Q. Confused! I am 33 years old, been with my husband for 12 years- married for 5 years-no children. Our marriage is not good-we have not had sex for almost a year and before that is was twice a years-continually got less and less throughout the y...
A. 7 November 2017: Thank you for posting your response OP. You are an inspiration to everyone. It goes to show that no matter how dire the situation, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. So glad that you're happy and in a loving relationship and are trying ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stalks me by using fake FB accounts and it's getting creepy
Q. We've been together since 3 months. The first week we were dating I caught him writing to me from a fake Facebook profile (my friend noticed the profile's page on his Iphone). It was just a smalltalk so I asummed this is normal and wrote some stuff ...
A. 29 May 2012: OK, for now its done. We knew this was coming, the denials and everything. But it doesn't matter, because he is a creep and a liar and not someone you can trust IN THE LEAST.
Please make yourself strong, don't let your emotions get the better o... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stalks me by using fake FB accounts and it's getting creepy
Q. We've been together since 3 months. The first week we were dating I caught him writing to me from a fake Facebook profile (my friend noticed the profile's page on his Iphone). It was just a smalltalk so I asummed this is normal and wrote some stuff ...
A. 28 May 2012: Meet him in a crowded place, do not go to his house or anything. Be sure to let your mom know. I agree that he might not give up easily, chances are that he will be very difficult. Be strong, do not give in no matter what he says, and when you break ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stalks me by using fake FB accounts and it's getting creepy
Q. We've been together since 3 months. The first week we were dating I caught him writing to me from a fake Facebook profile (my friend noticed the profile's page on his Iphone). It was just a smalltalk so I asummed this is normal and wrote some stuff ...
A. 27 May 2012: OP his "pleasant" behavior is all part of the facade, that is how controlling abusers work. This man is a bit of both, with lots of crazy thrown in! I'm glad you have made the decision of breaking up with up, expect lots of tears and "please dont do ... (read in full...)
Need some info and insight about having sex on a girl's period. Help?
Q. I'm in a real pickle about this one. My current girlfriend and I trust each other enough to have unprotected sex, and of course I get that feeling that I want to cum inside of her, although I can always control that urge. Me and her were talking ...
A. 27 May 2012: There's a term that you and your girlfriend could be attached with very soon. That term is "parents".
A woman can get pregnant ANY day of the month, even while she is on her period. If you dont know that yet, you're not mature enough to be havin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stalks me by using fake FB accounts and it's getting creepy
Q. We've been together since 3 months. The first week we were dating I caught him writing to me from a fake Facebook profile (my friend noticed the profile's page on his Iphone). It was just a smalltalk so I asummed this is normal and wrote some stuff ...
A. 27 May 2012: What would you do and is this normal?
I would break up with him This Instant!! His behavior is far from normal and the first time I've heard of something this bizarre.
Do men do this often?
I've never known any guy to do this. Its ridiculous! ... (read in full...)
Is he bailing out on me?
Q. Hello, I've known this guy along time. We had a great connection and began dating. We had a lot of fun together and I found myself developing some deep feelings for him. He explained early on he was "burnt" in a relationship years ago and aft...
A. 26 May 2012: He's not bailing out on you, because to bail out on someone you need to actually have some kind of a relationship with them...any kind of a relationship actually. As regards this guy, he just uses your company to fill the odd hour when he has ... (read in full...)
What type of porn would he like?
Q. my partner and I both enjoy watching porn but we don't do it together, I know what I like but would like to know what most men would like to watch. Due to him being a tight arse and refusing to get a new phone where he could view and download ...
A. 23 May 2012: You will never know unless you ask him. Every person is different, you never know who likes what.
... (read in full...)
A boy I barely know just told me he loves me
Q. This boy at school told me in the library that he loves me. He has never even talked to me before. How can boy just blurt that out? I just froze. Didn't know what to day. I probably looked shocked. I felt shocked. Then i think i messed up because ...
A. 22 May 2012: Yes I think its a good idea to keep it quiet for now. Dont hand him any notes because you dont know him from Adam and you cant trust him. Just follow your heart and do what you think is right. And yes, it was very brave of him to come and confess ... (read in full...)
Will flowers win back my teenage, but legal ex-girlfriend?
Q. Hello everyone. Tricky and possibly a bit of a controversial situation here. Keeping it as short as possible. I love my ex girlfriend, Im 24, shes 15 (age of consent in Sweden = 15 so relax). Anyways she broke up with me almost 2 months ago, as she ...
A. 22 May 2012: OP no one is making fun of you. I realize that you are in pain and you feel you cant help it, but please try and think about it rationally for one second. You are behaving like an obsessed lover. This is not right, either for you or for her.
... (read in full...)
Will flowers win back my teenage, but legal ex-girlfriend?
Q. Hello everyone. Tricky and possibly a bit of a controversial situation here. Keeping it as short as possible. I love my ex girlfriend, Im 24, shes 15 (age of consent in Sweden = 15 so relax). Anyways she broke up with me almost 2 months ago, as she ...
A. 21 May 2012: You basically want to arm twist her into spilling the beans. One way or another, you want the parents to know because you think you have a stronger chance with her if her parents get to know you.
You know what, legal or not, 15 is way too youn... (read in full...)
A boy I barely know just told me he loves me
Q. This boy at school told me in the library that he loves me. He has never even talked to me before. How can boy just blurt that out? I just froze. Didn't know what to day. I probably looked shocked. I felt shocked. Then i think i messed up because ...
A. 21 May 2012: Hey, you share my story! The exact same thing happened to me, except for the fact that you handled it SO much better!! The guy gave me a letter proclaiming his undying love for me, I froze, got home, burst into tears and was trembling with fear, I ... (read in full...)
Am I naive in thinking that on a first date nothing more than kissing should happen?
Q. am i naive in thinking that on a first date nothing more than kissing should happen? My friends and I were discussing this today and when I said i would never sleep with someone on the first date, they all said they wouldn't rule it out... But ...
A. 21 May 2012: Do whatever YOU think is right and never, ever do anything you're not comfortable with. Who cares what others think? If you're not comfortable having sex even after a year of dating, then its your call and nobody is to say if its right or not. You ... (read in full...)
I feel like my friend is trying to get as close as she can to my b/f without being a homewrecker!
Q. This might be long so bear with me. A little background: She's my close friend, and she used to like my boyfriend a lot, but he rejected her but they're best friends. So today, I recently found out that on Saturday, my friend had called my boyfri...
A. 21 May 2012: You're not wrong, I would feel the same way too. Its clear she still likes your boyfriend and there's nothing wrong with that, I mean you cant really stop her from liking who she wants, can you? The thing is, your boyfriend needs to be aware of this ... (read in full...)
I want a girlfriend maybe but not kids. Does this mean there is something wrong with me?
Q. Is there anything wrong with wanting a girlfriend but NEVER wanting kids? Am I being too unflexible? Should I compromise my belief to some extent? How does this work?...
A. 20 May 2012: I dont want kids, never did, and I'm 29, so I'm old enough to know exactly what I want. Its a personal preference, nothing right or wrong about it. Just make sure you and your partner are on the same page, or it could lead to problems... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead with the PhD? Or not?
Q. I'm currently in a massive state of indecision about my future and I was hoping for some advice. I'm 8 or so months into a postgraduate degree in chemistry, and the option to extend it to a three year PhD course came up a few months ago. At ...
A. 18 May 2012: I'm doing a PhD in Sociology, and I've traveled, a lot. I've been to many conferences, I've seen 5 countries, I've had the best time of my life. The best thing is, I've not had to pay a dime for any travelling because its always all been paid for. ... (read in full...)
My mom is dating a 33 year old guy, who's closer in age to me than her! Its so embarrassing!!
Q. My mom who is 49 years old is now dating a guy who is 33 years old and I don't know how to feel about the whole situation. I mean he's closer in age to me than her, she's never done anything like this before so I don't know whats going on. She has ...
A. 16 May 2012: Sorry OP, you dont have much of a choice here. If he makes your mom happy, then you just have to go with it. Sometimes age differences dont matter at all, and in this case, what matters is your mom's happiness.
Accept her decision and as Tisha sa... (read in full...)
My Indian family, my Pakistani ex gf who still lives at my place, my American girlfriend who's treated like an outsider and me...its a wreck!!
Q. I'm 21 years old, turning 22 this year. My girlfriend is 20, and turning 21 this year. We've been together for 3 years, and I want to ask her to marry me within the next week or so. Here's the problem. I'm Indian, and she's American. My p...
A. 15 May 2012: There are lots of points that I would like to touch upon here.
First, you want to propose to your girlfriend. Why? Instead of resolving the mess that you are in, it seems you are just trying to mark your territory, make sure the ex gets the mess... (read in full...)
My trust in women is totally shattered because of my ex!
Q. Hello Everybody, I was with my girlfriend/fiancée for 9 years, Our relationship had ups and downs like any relationship. But overall we had a good relationship. Anyway, about a year and a half ago she fell pregnant. She said she wasn't re...
A. 15 May 2012: Don't ever let the shadow of a bad relationship fall on the subsequent relationships. Most people, at some point of time or the other, have had a bad experience in their relationships. Does that mean that they give up? Of course not. Take your time, ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a local policeman
Q. Hi. Thanks for Helping me. Anyways, I have a dilemma. There is a school police officer at school and he seems to like me. I have noticed him glancing at me. When we are outside and I'm with my friends, he goes and stands around the area where we...
A. 15 May 2012: Mature 15 year old, huh? Then why do you even ask for advice if you have it all figured out? Sure we don't know what it feels like, you're the only one that's a "mature" 15 year old. All the best. ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a local policeman
Q. Hi. Thanks for Helping me. Anyways, I have a dilemma. There is a school police officer at school and he seems to like me. I have noticed him glancing at me. When we are outside and I'm with my friends, he goes and stands around the area where we...
A. 14 May 2012: Enjoy your crush whilst it lasts. At 13 I had the weirdest crushes too and now that I look back upon them, they always bring a smile to my face! Don't ever act upon your crush, he's a grown man and you are still very young and nothing can and should ... (read in full...)
Should I share this dark secret with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months, and have a great relationship. However, I feel like a fraud... he tells me that everything about me is beautiful, and I feel ugly and empty inside. He thinks I'm beautiful and he loves me, ...
A. 14 May 2012: YouWish said it better than I ever can! Do NOT tell this guy anything because your past is your past and as long as you are free from STDs' and there are no children involved, he doesnt need to know.
You havent done anything horribly immoral ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex go above and beyond to get my attention and then just hours later shove it in my face that he's seeing someone else?
Q. So I had to work with my ex on a project. We weren't on the best of terms before this project, but we were really nice to each other. But from his end, it was more than just being amicable. He went out of his way to be around me and talk to me as ...
A. 11 May 2012: Because he knew you would be bothered, which you are. That was his only intention and he succeeded. If you were indifferent to his actions, then no matter what he did or who he went home with or came to office with, wouldn't have mattered to you in ... (read in full...)
What kind of porn do straight girls watch?
Q. What kind of porn do straight girls watch? And how often do they do it?...
A. 10 May 2012: I don't watch porn.
And no need to get nasty, if you feel your question isn't getting answered according to your liking, then pay a professional and get the statistics drawn up. You cant demand for answers to suit your terms and conditio... (read in full...)
My friend wants to leave his controlling wife but now she is pregnant
Q. My best friend marriage is a disaster, he always loved another women but still married his current wife. She know about his feelings and was sure that he will get over it. But last year it was very hard so he was going to break up with her and get ...
A. 8 May 2012: Sorry to be blunt, but you need to stop meddling in other people's lives.
First of all, basic sex ed., how do women get pregnant OP? By having sex with a man. Newsflash, your friend is having sex with his wife, and no one is pointing a gun to h... (read in full...)
Can I repair this Damaged Friendship and this Loss? would flowers help?
Q. I have had a female friend for few years, over the time we had gotten closer to each other We would go out for the day every Thursday and take her Daughter with us to the Aquarium, Zoo or even the park. I am totally in love with this girl, but sh...
A. 7 May 2012: She's a freeloader and as long as you were just a wallet, she had no problems with you. The second the wallet got a voice, she didn't want anything to do with it anymore.
She knows you will do anything for her, drive her to the end of the worl... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is marriage material yet I feel threatened by his intelligence and lash out at him
Q. My boyfriend is exceptionally intelligent. I'm a neuroscience major (4th year), and worked in a lab doing research in the summer of my second year. The study was related to IQ -- regardless, it required each participant take a standardize 30 m...
A. 6 May 2012: When in a relationship, never think of who is inferior or who is superior. He could be Brad Pitt in the looks department or Albert Einstein as far as brains are concerned, but when he is with you, he is simply your boyfriend and you are his ... (read in full...)
My possessive boyfriend said I smelled like sex!
Q. I spent a couple hours getting ready before going over to my boyfriend's house. I showered, did my hair and make up, and put on perfume. After I got there, we sat in the living room and he said, "Can I say something kind of weird?" And I said of ...
A. 5 May 2012: Well your boyfriend smells of trouble, I can tell you that.
He might be a good listener and he's not abusive and all that, but the fact that he said the things that he did, it screams of insecurity. He doubts you, there's no question about th... (read in full...)
Why are girls wearing clothes you can see their butts in?
Q. It is starting to get warm out now and why do a lot of the girls wear their shorts so short? I have seen sport shorts and cutoffs and they all seem to be extemely short, to the point that their cheeks are hanging out. I have also seen dresses that ...
A. 5 May 2012: Well I agree with you, it's getting a bit too far in the name of fashion and it could spell trouble. I don't know what the parents are doing, I mean, I had all MY clothes monitored by my mum when I was growing up. Its "cool" to be steeped in fashion ... (read in full...)
Married to a distant, abusive man and I'm desperate to be touched and loved and I'm wondering about how it would be with this man!
Q. Confused! I am 33 years old, been with my husband for 12 years- married for 5 years-no children. Our marriage is not good-we have not had sex for almost a year and before that is was twice a years-continually got less and less throughout the y...
A. 4 May 2012: An affair is NEVER a solution to any problem, it will just make things worse. I'm curious though, if your husband is all that you say and you're trapped in a loveless marriage, then why haven't you considered leaving him? Its better to be free from ... (read in full...)
Why does our friendship have to be ruined because I told him I loved him?
Q. A little less than a year ago I told my closest guy friend how I truly felt about him. It took everything I had to tell him I loved him. We both decided that it wasn't worth the risk of losing such a great friendship. Time past and we began to grow ...
A. 4 May 2012: He's immature, that's why. There's no reason to shun you just because you have feelings for him. Sometime people don't really know how to react and they start avoiding the other person, thinking that by doing so, maybe their feelings will vanish. ... (read in full...)
Would you learn a different language to be with someone?
Q. Here's the story. There's this girl that works with me. Before last week I never talked to her before. I would catch her looking at me from time to time. Always staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking. Most of the times I didn't know what to ...
A. 3 May 2012: I would most certainly do it! Not just to be with the other person but because its always nice to learn a new language, its handy and (a bit of trivia), Spanish is one of the official languages of the United Nations(UN)! It could even aid you in ... (read in full...)
How would you deal with finding out about a one night stand?
Q. Guys or Gals, please share your thoughts. What if you found out a year into your relationship that your girlfriend or boyfriend had a one night stand after being drunk at a bar with another guy/girl they barely knew only a few weeks before you both ...
A. 3 May 2012: How has she been since you got together? Any other instances of drunkenness/inebriation or cheating?
Look OP, sure it would hurt like hell, I mean technicalities apart, it will seem unforgivable at first. But you have to consider other things t... (read in full...)
I've done sexual acts on the webcam and I'm worried he might blackmail me
Q. I'm 19 this year, never had a boyfriend, never had sexual intercourse before. I have felt lonely for many years. Having been involved in zero relationships my entire life, I sometimes find it hard to suppress my sexual desires. I turn to ...
A. 2 May 2012: Stop stop STOP!! Do you even realize the implications of your actions?! You meet a 24 year old guy online, one who is into BDSM, and you are masturbating for him on camera?!!! You know it really amazes me how people are, are you seriously THAT ... (read in full...)
Scared of having sex with my FWB and worried he will compare me to his ex....
Q. i've been on and off with this guy for two years now, we've dated twice but its hard now with me being at uni and him in year 12 so we're just friends, with benefits i guess you could say. we've done everything except handjob and sex..i'm actually...
A. 30 April 2012: You do know what FWBs' mean, right? No strings attached sex without any feelings involved. Think hard about what you're about to get into; don't throw away your future and other potential proper relationships that you will eventually have, just for ... (read in full...)
Boy swapping gone wrong?
Q. Ok, last night my best friend and our boyfriends were hanging out at my moms place. She and her boyfriend are out of town for the week. Anyway, we were partying pretty hard, having a lot of fun. We started playing truth or dare, long story short we ...
A. 29 April 2012: What a mess! Break up with your boyfriend because there's nothing left to salvage. You're just making a mockery of your "relationship", if you can even call it that anymore. You cheated on him, cheated on him again, then cheated some more, had sex ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for the person you are dating to tell you that they will always love their ex?
Q. Is it normal for a guy you're seeing to tell you they'll always love their ex? This ex was actually his first real love, and I'm the first person he's dating after he's been with her. I'm wondering if it's normal because the last guy I da...
A. 28 April 2012: It's not normal but you need to at least hand out points for honesty. And then dump them, of course. If they're not over their ex, well, then Just Too Bad. You're not some sorry second in someone's life and if a guy doesnt love you with all he has, ... (read in full...)
Tired of listening to my father constantly complain
Q. I'm feeling so worn out by my father. He calls often, to carry on endless monologues and talk about himself, or his concerns. He barely knows what goes on in my life, because he doesn't ask, and he doesn't really care to know. On several occasions I ...
A. 27 April 2012: I think you should have a talk with your father about this. Tell him that while you do care about him because he's your father, his behavior is taking a toll on you. You are not his therapist, you cannot help him in any way and by calling you and ... (read in full...)
I can get past her cheating, but the cause for it is killing me...
Q. I understand this is a lot to read, but please do not answer if you do not read it. It took me quite a while to write down exactly how I feel and I would really like thoughtful answers. I do not believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater" ...
A. 25 April 2012: Of course it is possible for you to get back together, but there are no guarantees for the future, are there? Given the way that she thinks about not having any sexual partners apart from you (and the one she cheated on you with), she might want to ... (read in full...)
How do I handle the fears of my girlfriend that I will get hurt climbing to the summit? It is my dream to do this climb
Q. Ok, so next year, I am scheduled to climb to the summit of Mt Everest, the worlds tallest mountain. This has been my dream ever since I was a little boy. I am taking up a particular route to the summit. Yesterday I was watching a video of an area ...
A. 24 April 2012: You are lucky to have such a considerate and caring girlfriend. Not many people would be as concerned as her. She's a keeper OP.
What you can do is, sit her down and gently talk to her. Explain to her that climbing the Everest is undoubte... (read in full...)
What are the top reasons for cheating?
Q. hello, thanks for ansewering me... i appreciate all advices. one question. Why girls/woman cheat? What are top reasons? Thank you....
A. 24 April 2012: There are no reasons for cheating, people just cheat because they want to, there's no justification for it.
All of us have two paths to choose from; when we were younger, we were told there's a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other sh... (read in full...)
I don't want to leave my boyfriend but I don't know how we can go back to being lovers now that I've cheated on him and that we've been living as 'friends' for a year
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and half and we have been living together for a year. He started having serious back problems a year ago and we have not had sex since then. He now wants us to buy a flat together but I am scared of committing ...
A. 23 April 2012: You don't want to leave your Bf? A little too late for the realization, since you've already cheated on him. Your relationship is irreparable and you shouldn't mislead him any longer. The problem with you is that you're not sure of what you want. ... (read in full...)
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