A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been financially double crossed by friends and I need advice on what to do now.Some background: in september I was apart in a project for a film festival where you make a short film in 2 days and enter it before the deadline ends. The team was led by two friends of mine (which I'll refer to as B and C), who in preparation of the project asked me to attend. I happily accepted and the whole thing went great. They had rustled up a budged of $500 bucks from sponsors and because we had been very careful not to spend much we had a lot left at the end of the run (according to them). Because I was the only one with cash money in my pocket I paid for pizza deliveries and other minor stuff, which according to them I would get back from the budget as long as I kept the receipts for proof. No problem. After the whole festival was over I got an e-mail asking how much I'd exactly spent, and I told them the amount $110 plus I referred to the collection of receipts I'd given to them. I never got a reply to that e-mail, so I sent it again a week later. I figured they were busy with the budget so I waited a couple of weeks before I brought it up again. They didn't pick up the phone, didn't reply to my text messages or my e-mails. They live in an apartment with video at the door so they can verify who it is before they decide to open, so whenever I went there there it seemed like no-one was home. In short, I suddenly could not reach them anymore. So I asked another friend also involved in the project to contact them. She managed to get ahold of B and C and they assured her they would contact me immediately. They never did. Then C hosted a big Birthday party for B in the beginning of January. Everyone was invited, except me. I honestly don't know what to do now. I'm very hurt and disappointed they would suddenly ignore me and keep my money, even though they know I need it. If there was a problem with the sponsor or some other issue that would prevent them from paying me back, all they would have to do is tell me and we'd work something out. I'm a very understanding and reasonable person. I don't throw hissy fits, I don't get upset easily and I'm always happy to help. This has never happened to me before because I only loan money to those I trust, but I really made an error in judgment on this one. I don't know why I deserve this and I don't know where to go from here.Sorry for the long post but I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 Yeah!!! I am so happy for you OP! It feels like a personal victory! :)
I am really happy you went for it and just goes to show that you should give as good as you get when the situation demands it. Whether or nor she keeps in touch with you is not our concern, most importantly you got the money back, that's what matters!
Good for you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood news, I got my money back!
Only one hour after I posted the fb message I got one in the chatbox thingy asking for my bank account number so she could transfer the money. I made it really clear how disappointed I was and basically we talked about all the stuff that bothered me about the situation. She apologized and apologized, insisting she wasn't normally like this.
At least she seemed sorry about it all. At the end of the conversation she even suggested we stay in contact and hang out sometime. I told her that if she genuinely meant that, it was up to her to initiate it. I don't hold high hopes (and at this point I don't really consider this a 'friendship' anymore) but if she wants to make it right I'm open to the idea. Checked my account today and the money was on there. So I'm happy this is solved now, after so many months.
Anyway, thanks for the advice, anonymous123. You gave me that nudge to go after what's mine and I got it back thanks to that. Proves that persistence really does get the job done.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (15 March 2012):
You did the right thing. I know its not something you wanted to do, but you have to take the bull by the horns, if the damn bull doesn't pay up! Just don't budge till the money is paid. Your friends are really insolent and this is the only way to deal with them. Please dont care about what anyone might think of you, its your money, dont give in till you get it. It takes two to play a game, if they thought they could get away with it, now they know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAn update. It's been a few weeks and contact has fallen silent again. I sent a few personal messages through fb and haven't had a reaction to them.
My patience is running thin so I put the entire situation on B's fb page for everyone to read. I know it's not the nicest move, but I don't know what else I can do to get their attention.
What I put up is this: "It's been weeks since I've heard from you concerning the money you still owe me. If it was $10 I'd let it go, but $110 is just too much for that. You have all the receipts you need, and you've had them since september. I'm really disappointed and I'd appreciate it if we could settle this asap. I don't like putting it up like this, but because you have not replied to my personal messages, I had to."
I plan to continue tainting their page if they do not react. By now I've reached the point I no longer care what they may think of me, as long as I get my money back. I have learned my lesson though...
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (17 February 2012):
Good for you OP!! I'm so glad you didn't give in! Never, ever let such people get the better of you and always give as good as you get.
Now keep pursuing her, remind her that you have already given her the receipts and she should not act funny anymore. Its time to give you back what is due. Please do not let go till you get the amount, and trust me OP, you will feel so much better about yourself if you can stand up for what is right. There are a few billion people on this planet who will trick you when it comes to money. The sympathy card, the babe-in-the-woods tactic, the "I'm broke" card, the "I'm depressed card", the "oh I forgot" scheme...the list is endless. Don't ever be naive enough to get drawn into all this.
Its YOUR money and you should ask for it back because any shame or guilt because its yours!! Just don't let go till you have it back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have decided not to let it go, but to give it one last try. I joined Facebook and dropped a bunch of messages on theirs. The first was a neutral, "please contact me asap" one. I gave them a week before I sent the next one, which consisted of: "please contact me about the $110 you still owe me since september."
I promised myself I would harassing them each week until I got a message from B this evening, saying she was sorry and if I send her all the receipts she will make it right. Now of course I don't have the receipts anymore I gave them to her in september, but it's a step towards getting this issue resolved.
Thanks for weighing in, especially Anonymous123 :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Yes, learn form your mistake and move on. Never loan anyone money that you intend to get back, you won't.......
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (7 February 2012):
You shouldnt just let this go. These cheapskates do not have an iota of decency left in them, and when you do get your money back, make sure that's the last you see of them.
Your silence has been taken as your weakness and they feel that since you are the kinds who is easy going and happy to help and not a drama queen, you will soon let this go too. Please dont let that happen. Your money is your own, even if it is $5. And in your case, $110 is a lot of money.
As of now, get other friends involved and ask them to intervene. Get the message across loud and clear that you are not leaving till you get what is due.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 February 2012):
 My advice is to kiss off the money (repayment) and learn the lesson of not loaning money to "friends" unless you have decided, to yourself, that: 1. It may strain the friendship, and, 2. You may not get re-paid....
Good luck....
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