A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I know this is wrong but iv been sleeping with this boy which has a gf. We have been meeting up now and then for the last 4 months, and I admit it is just sex, but I'm starting to like him. I know it's wrong and shouldn't have done it but at first didn't see the harm as I said it was just sex no feelings but now it's changing. I have tryed to stop meeting up with him and to avoid to meet up with him but just always seem it give in, he doesn't know how I feel and I'm not sure if I should tell him or if I should make up an excuse, can anyone suggest something please, and try nit to judge as I know it is wrng ??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2012): Well, for starters, you are having sex with someone who already has a girlfriend...wow is this going to be karma down the road....how would you feel if you were this guys' girlfriend and he was having sex with someone else? Wait he already is, and will likely do it again. You are just as responsible. If you are looking just for sex, find someone who is also just looking for sex that is unattached...don't you know about girl code? You don't mess with someone else's man and you tell the girl if her man is messing with another girl. Have some self respect.There is no emotional attachment when a man does this...often it's not the case for women. If you are looking to have a serious relationship with someone, you need to learn what that means, and find someone who also knows what that means...this guy does not and you are dilutional if you think you are going to be the one to change him....sorry, it's not going to happen, not now.For the most part, in time as you get older and mature you will come to understand this. When men and women cheat it's a sign of immaturity, insecurity, and lacking in self-esteem.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 yeah stop seeing him immediately. youre getting yourself into emotional trouble.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 Well the boy obviously has no morals so in any case its a no win situation for you. You're sleeping for him while he has a G/f, he's getting all the pleasure while you are falling for him and the risk of possible STIs', because he obviously has multiple sex partners.
Also, assuming you do tell him how you feel about him and end up with him, do you really think you can trust him? Given where you guys started from, how can you ever think he would be loyal to you? He might very well sleep with some woman behind your back, and you wont have the moral right to tell him anything, because you are the other woman today, what respect would you have in any case?
Get out of this mess while you can. As I said, its a no win situation for you all the way through.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 In your honest opinion, do you really see this progressing in the future? Do you really want someone who cheats? Even if, to him, it doesn't mean anything. Even if, to him, it is just sex.
If you do tell him, what are you expecting him to say or do? Do you trust that he will leave his girlfriend for you? Or would he begin avoiding you instead, and find someone else to meet his needs?
It is good that you know this is wrong, so stop it. That is definitely for the best. Especially since your emotions are now entangled in this situation. I would say don't tell him and stop seeing him. Unless you think he would really want to be with you. All you can do is prepare yourself for whatever outcome I suppose.
I hope that helps.
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