A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm not much of a fighter, and I have a question. Should I feel insecure if I happen to meet a gorgeous woman who could beat me in a fight?Is this a strange question, or is it a legitimate concern?Let's say she's a karate expert or something and we get into a physical fight (on a date), and she knocks me out? That would be pretty embarrassing, wouldn't it?I'd be a laughing stock.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): I'm guessing you don't REALLY expect a fight, you just feel, well, wimpy next to her? Natural man. My GF is a bit taller than me and even though I worked in Federal Law Enforcement and can take down just about anyone, I'd steer clear of her in a fight....or most people for that matter. Fighting is NOT cool. It is something people watch too much of on TV, and think they need to be like that. Learn to be strong with your words and expressions. Be confident. You'd be surprised how many "tough guys" will back down like little boys when you just look then dead in the eyes and mean it.
There are MANY ways a guy can impress a woman. It's not always muscle and physical strength.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Having been involved in the martial arts my whole life I can say that most individuals I know who have gone through extensive enough training to handle themselves in most situations are the individuals who are least likely to get in fights. It's because they not only learn how to fight, but how to avoid them.
I used to long for a fight. The closest I ever got was someone picking a fight. Me not backing down. His friend telling him that I taught karate down town, and him backing off and apologizing. I've actually talked down way more fights than I've seen.
So, you have little to fear unless you're dating an abuser. If you're getting into a fight on the first date, that's a bit odd unless sparring is something you both enjoy as a hobby. Then again, friendly sparring rarely involves knocking someone out. That would mean a severe lack of control.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 October 2010):
 It's just as much abuse if she beats you up as if a man beats a woman up. So unless she's a horrible abusive tyrant, I don't think you need to worry about it. Should women worry when they date men who can beat them up too? Because that's frequently the case. Do you also worry when you go hang out with guys who can beat you up? Because it would be exactly the same. Just because she can doesn't mean she will. You'll be fine. Just don't start a physical fight with her. And why is it so emasculating to be beaten up by a girl? Don't most people stop with the unrealistic and silly gender stereotypes in the third grade?
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (7 October 2010):
I've become friends with and am hoping to date a girl that I'm pretty sure could kick my butt in a fight, and it's of no concern to me. I don't feel it threatens my manhood or makes me less of a man. I think it really comes down to feeling confident and comfortable with yourself, as insecurities form when those are lacking.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Whilst there is a strong in built desire in men to be the protector, realistically that can't always be the case. Most importantly there is more than one kind of strength. True strength doesn't have to be expressed through the ability to beat people up.
Don't ever fight with girls. Don't ever fight with people that you know can take you. Really really don't ever fight with girls that you know can take you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 That's a very strange question indeed.
Why would you ever get into a physical fight with a woman, on a date too ???
Is that a habit of yours ? Beating up women,...or dating women known for beating up their partners ?... Change habits.
Anyway, for your reassurance :
my son's tae kwan doe instructor was a 10th dan black belt lady that could kick anybody's ass, I suppose. She said that she would never touch anybody - man or woman - except in self-defense.
I guess that you don't need to worry. Just maybe stay away from ,say,a heavy -drinking Marine Corps female sergeant with a notoriously short fuse :)
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (7 October 2010):
 What exactly are you proposing to do that will make her want to knock you out?
Unless you are proposing any such interesting activity, I don't see the concern.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 For starters...why on Earth would you get into a physical fight on the first date? No I do not think you should feel insecure.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (7 October 2010):
For starters...why on Earth would you get into a physical fight on the first date? No I do not think you should feel insecure.
I hope that helps.
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