A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are going on a holiday together which means that we are going to stay in the same room. He wants to shower with me but I don't know if I should as we are still virgins and I am afraid that that will lead to sex.Although, we have basically done everything except him going inside me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, selena123  +, writes (24 March 2011):
Well you are in your 20s therefore you are an adult. You & your boyfriend should have talked about if you wanted to stay a virgin.
I've been with my boyfriend since I was 14 years old. We did everything BUT have sex until I was 17 years old. We showered and everything together. Make sure he knows you don't want it to lead to sex and you'll be good.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Well, i'd ever been at that stage of relationship. We showered together when we were on the trip. Had done things but not let him inside me. The shower time is hot and yes it could lead to proper sex but as you're not ready in your mind. Nothing could happen. Well it all depends on you trust that guy or not, want to spend your first time with him or not. But believe me, as long as you have a protective sex, it's all about fun!
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female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 There's a simple answer to your problem; if you don't want it to lead to sex then don't let it.
If you feel like you can't control your desire in that situation, lthen don't let yourself get into that situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): If either of you has ever done anything else, with anyone else, barrier methods need to be employed, even when you're only doing "everything else". You or your boyfriend could get an std orally, and then "share the love". You identified yourself as a twenty something- you're old enough to shop an adult store or website. Packages come to your mailing address discreetly wrapped when you place an order. If your living arrangement involves people who would disapprove, rent yourself a post office box, or have it shipped to a trusted friend. Without getting too graphic here, I recommend checking out flavored condoms, and also find out what you might like to use as a barrier when he returns the favor. Better safe than sorry.
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 What's your real question.DO you want us to tell you NO, don't goDon't shower with himDon't lose your virginityThis is very confusing seeing as you are telling us what is going to happen.IF you DONT want to lose your virginity in a shower better get let him know or get separate rooms.IF you DONT want to lose you virginity just yet, better let him know.Seems like your asking the unique world of virtual reality how, when and if you should lose your virginity.If that's the question, I'd say NO, no way no how, not now.Why, because you had to ask a million strangers if it is ok to do this. It's not, obviously with YOU...And outside of this glass window, I and these zillion other strangers are not living your life.YOU, do what is right for YOU.. Forever...
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Doing everything is having sex, isn't it? Besides him going inside you. And having a shower together. Yes, it might lead to more sex. And it might turn you both on and then you'll have him inside you.
If you don't want to have sex then don't. Stop tempting yourself. Don't do "everything else" as that only leads to him going in you as well. You might hold it off for a while, but only for a while. And what difference does it really make if he goes inside you or not, as you are already doing everything else?
If this is important to you it is time you stop going along with everything and reminds yourself of what is important to you! Are you even bringing along protection when you have sex? In case he slips in, what are you going to do if you aren't on protection? What if you get pregnant when it wasn't planned? What then? And do you really want to take that risk?
Stop having "everything else" if you're not ready for sex. Because everything else is also sex. And it will lead to intercourse sooner or later. When that time comes I hope it is because you WANTED it, and that you were prepared, rather than accidentally doing it without protection.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 March 2011):
 I agree with the below poster, sex in the shower is very awkward and uncomfortable. It's not the romantic wonderful thing that the movies show. It can be very fun, but it absolutely doesn't have to lead to sex. It's very easy to not have sex in the shower, just don't have sex. If you've already been naked with each other doing sexual things, that's far more likely to "lead to sex" than showering.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Contrary to what you or your boyfriend may think, it is actually pretty hard and rather awkward to have sex in a shower...particularly if one of you is much taller than the other.
I know it shows up as a prelude to a sex (or murder) scene in some movies, but it doesn't usually end up quite as cinematic in real life.
But, I undertand why you feel the shower is a bit of a sacred place. I love bathrooms. For much of my childhood it was the only place I could be alone and not be harassed by siblings. I tend to think of the shower and my morning/night routine as very personal and private. Sharing that routine and particularly that space with someone else can make you feel incredibly vulnerable. It makes sense, afterall, you've be showering alone for your whole life...it's a little strange to let someone in on it and see you naked.
But, the nice thing about showering with a partner though is that you get to see them at their most vulnerable too. Being naked together and sharing a water nozzle doesn't neccessarily have to lead to sex. I would just go about your typical routine and talk about what happened that day or what you're going to do tomorrow.
If it really concerns you or you think that he has hopes to use the shower as a stepping stone to sex, then just shower in the morning before you go out for the day. He can join you, but he'll be less inclined towards sex if you are getting ready to go out for the day.
If you've been clear that you don't want to lose your virginity, then he'll likely respect it...even in the shower.
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male
reader, XXX NASTYBOY +, writes (20 March 2011):
well just let him hump you & if things get to wild tell him to stop
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 March 2011):
 If you're doing things naked together anyway, then I don't see how a shower would be more leading to sex than say, a naked 69. But if you don't feel good about showing together - don't. If you feel like it will lead places that you don't want to go - don't do it. It is as simple as that! Instead you shower, and then while you get yourself all dolled up, he can shower and then you can swap massages or something. (Massage swaps are the greatest though, I highly recommend them!)
Have fun on your holiday! Good luck!
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