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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: About 2 years ago i was in a very good relationship which lasted 9 months. In that relationship, the sex was absolutely unbelieveable. We could please each other any time, all the time.But when we split up i wasnt having sex so, for the first time in a long time, i watched porn and masturbated to it. I was watching and masturbating to porn quite heavily over 6 months. Now though , i have a new girlfriend. We are great together and we really get along. We have had sex a few times now and to be honest its not great. On two occasions i have stayed in to watch porn and please myself instead of going around hers. Am i a masturbation addict. Or am i masturbating because its kinda the middle between sex with my ex and sex with my current girlfriend?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 First it's important to note it sounds like a porn addiction, porn and masturbation are not interchangeable words. There are a lot of groups on forums on the internet for recovering from a porn addiction, there are also groups (sort of like alcoholics anonymous) where you can go talk with a group who have the same problem. You can find all of these just by using google. It is entirely possible to recover from this, it will just take time and effort. These programs will require that you go without porn or masturbation for some time, and that's going to be hard. But if you want to stay with this girl or with any girl or have any meaningful relationship, you have to overcome this.As for your last two sentences/questions, no it cannot be healthy to choose to stay in to look at porn and masturbate instead of spending time with a real person. I'm sure she'd be devastated to find out that you'd rather get off with other women than go out with her.
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Ok, this is a tricky question because there could many reasons why you find porn more pleasurable over sex. First of all, many times when men masturbate, they give most of there attention to the head. And, as we all know, that is one of the most sensitive areas. When you have sex with your girlfriend, your head won't get the same attention you give it on your own. This may be a factor in why you find porn more pleasurable.Secondly, when you masturbate to porn you do it for you. You don't have to worry about pleasing anyone else or how well someone else is pleasing you. If you have become accustomed to this, it may feel so different from what you're used to that you find it not as pleasurable. And lastly, you may be addicted to masturbation and maybe porn as well.How do you figure it all out and resolve the situation? First, stop looking at porn for now. No matter how much you want to watch it, don't. Use your own fantasies to masturbate. If you find it extremely hard to not watch porn, you may have an addiction. If not, that's probably not the problem. Secondly, talk to your gf about what you like in bed. Start this out by asking her what she likes best sexually and then take your turn and state what you like most. And go from there, back and forth on what you two like. Sex is extremely important in a relationship and if you're not fully happy with your sex life, you need to try to improve it. I know that sometimes it seems hard to talk about sex and what you really want with your significant other, but I can say firsthand that my fiance and I have told each other how to please one another and we give direction still. It's good to keep the lines of communication open, especially on that subject.Good luck!
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