A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now and I don't like the way things are going. We haven't had sex in the last 30 days, and before that it was once every two weeks. Also every time I hug her I feel like she doesn't really mean it, and every time I try to french kiss her i feel like she is doing it for me and not because she actually enjoys it. I've talked to her about this things many times and nothing has changed so I'm thinking about breaking up with her.Of course this is not a simple choice to make, but I think our physical connection is lost and this is not what I want out of a relationship.What do you think? Should I break it up? Is it selfish of me to have a craving for intimacy? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): How can you continue in a relationship if intimacy has been lost? You can't. It is part of what holds a couple together. Be honest with her, there is nothing wrong in wanting a healthy relationship. Sooner or later you will find problems emerge if you press on in a relationship which does not feel complete.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 April 2012):
 if you are not feeling it you are not feeling it.
if you have talked about it and cannot resolve the problem then I think it's best to leave.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 April 2012):
 There's a saying -- the body doesn't lie.
I'm guessing that it wasn't always the case? When you first started together, the physical intimacy was a lot more than it was now, and not just the frequency?
How's your emotional connection? Have there been any fights? Do you feel her distancing herself emotionally from you? Is there resentment? Have there been trust issues?
I'm not saying that you're to blame for this. It could very well be that someone else has her interest, (I said interest, not necessarily cheating) or that she's not feeling emotionally connected with you.
If you're not happy, and you feel that this can't be worked out, and you've tried talking with her about it and she's not caring, then yes, you should break up. But keep in mind, while you're focused on the result (you want more and passionate sex), that may only be a symptom of the real problem.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 April 2012):
 "Is it selfish of me to have a craving for intimacy?"
No of course not. Intimacy/a physical connection is a huge part of a relationship. If you feel like it's gone away completely and she isn't working on it, it may be time to move on.
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