A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a while now and I dread having sex! Previously sex consisted of him pushing my head between his legs. He would lie there groaning while I gave him oral. He would rub his hand up and down my back, eventually when my jaw was hurting I would get on top and ride him until he came. It was the same thing everyday. He never touched my body like a woman wants to be touched or like it was a two way thing and wasn't interested in giving me oral. Rubbing his hand up and down my back and groaning just didnt turn me on. I started to refuse to give him oral so now when he wants sex he pulls me on top of him, he expects me to be instantly horny and desperate to jump on and ride away. I have tried everything to get him to touch me, but he's just not really into it. I bought sexy revealing underwear, he pulled me on top of him to ride again, Sometimes I feel like I'm the man and he's the woman!
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (12 April 2012):
You don't say how old your bf is and if he is really young he probably doesn't really know what he is doing. If you can't talk with him closely and intimately about each of your feelings then why are you having sex it the first place? 2 strangers just having sex is little more than mutual masterbation. Talk to him.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 You need to directly tell him what's wrong and how to fix it. If he still won't listen, he is just a selfish jerk who thinks you are, as Tisha said, a sex toy and isn't worth of your time.
Sex isn't about you pleasuring him, it's about you both pleasuring each other.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Tell him !
Quite a few guys aren't that good at picking up hints or guessing stuff, and with them romance has to take a backside to precision, you have to pretend you are reading him an Ikea instructions booklet " Insert piece A into cavity B, while you let piece C slide over surface D ..."etc.
If you have already told him, to no avail, because he's too lazy, selfish or stubborn to comply, I am afraid it's time to shop for a new boyfriend. Sex is a like a dance, BOTH dancers must be willing to learn the steps.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (11 April 2012):
Tell him !
Quite a few guys aren't that good at picking up hints or guessing stuff, and with them romance has to take a backside to precision, you have to pretend you are reading him an Ikea instructions booklet " Insert piece A into cavity B, while you let piece C slide over surface D ..."etc.
If you have already told him, to no avail, because he's too lazy, selfish or stubborn to comply, I am afraid it's time to shop for a new boyfriend. Sex is a like a dance, BOTH dancers must be willing to learn the steps.
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A
male
reader, confusedcollegekid +, writes (11 April 2012):
You should talk to him about it. As extreme as your situation sounds I can relate in a way. I lost my virginity to my girlfriend who had had other partners. I did not feel like I was very good but I was not selfish. The way I got better was just asking and finding out what she wants. And our sex lives only get better. It takes getting comfortable with a person to be able to express your needs but if it is frustrating you then that is exactly what you need to do. Express to him that you want him to spend as much time on you as you do on him. Try different positions, and use foreplay! Foreplay is very important and I think you could tell him that too. Girls take longer to heat up and I don't see any problem with him doing that for you! It is not fair but I feel like you are giving in to him too easily! If I ever grabbed my girlfriends head and pushed it down there she would be fuming!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 April 2012):
 You're his sex toy.
Express to him what you would like in bed. If he can't provide it, um, well, then he's not the boyfriend for you.
If you have already told him and he's not paying any attention, he's selfish and you may as well end it now. It's not worth trying to retrain him if he's that pig-headed or thick on top of being selfish.
You are perfectly entitled to tell him what you like and dislike in bed and if he's not pleasing you and is showing no signs of even trying, well, he's treating you like a sex toy. Dump him!
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