A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, basically my ex boyfriend died in december, we had been broken up a couple months before he died but he was my first true love and never got over it and when he died it just tore me up even more. I feel like I've lost apart of me. I really want his name tattooed on me somewhere, my friends say I shouldn't because we weren't even together when he passed but I love him more than anything and really want it. Should I get the tattoo? X
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): Heyy don't do the Tattoo, i have a tattoo on my shoulder, tattoo was done by my first boyfriend's best friend 2001, he did it because my first BF was miles away to do it himself, the tattoo still look awesome, my first BF died 2008 Dec, now this tattoo is killing me, everytime I look at it I cry, because I miss my babe, we broke before he died, but now that I know he is late, this tattoo is always bringing all the memories miss him everyday, and this tattoo is me now and I see it everyday it is really painful, but the tattoo is the first letter of my name so I don't tell the truth when ppl ask how I got it. If I were you I wouldn't do it, I still love mine more and more, but it killing me inside cause I miss my bby
A
male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (11 April 2012):
You're a young, single woman... so please think about this for a very, very long time before you actually go and do it. I can tell you that many men will be turned off by the idea and it is likely something you'll regret later in life. If you go and do this, it will send the message to guys that you're still "hung up" on your dead ex. No man, no matter how confident he is, wants to be in a serious relationship with a woman who is still pining for a memory.I advise people against getting their husband or wife's name tattooed on their body, because things can and do go wrong. If a marriage breaks down, and it happens 50% of the time statistically, then what? Getting a dead ex's name inked on your skin, or really any kind of symbol or reminder of him, is just a bad idea in my view.You're still grieving, which is why this may seem like a good idea. Give it time and I think you'll agree it is best if you don't follow through with it.Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Oh, and for what it's worth, I think there's going to be good money investing in companies who specialize in tattoo removal. There are going to be scads of customers in the years to come, as people realize they shouldn't have had certain tattoos done.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 April 2012):
Wait one full year and then revisit the idea. Mark your calendar and decide then. That will give you enough time not to make any decisions which have a permanent result based on temporary feelings of loss and grief, okay?
In the meantime, get a piece of jewelry engraved, like a pendant or ring, and wear that as a symbol of your loss.
You should never make life-altering decisions when you are freshly traumatized from such a loss. My condolences to you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 April 2012):
 HORRID IDEA... do NOT do it.
I have a tattoo that I have to have reworked... it's not my ex's name but it alludes to him and my current partner has asked me to have it removed and I will....
NEVER put anyone's name or image on your body..... just NOT a good idea.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 You're idolizing him, and having a tattoo of his name on you would only worsen it. Soon you'll start picturing him as the only true love of your life, and no other man can compare. And really, no other man will be able to compete for your love, because they are competing with a deceased and idolized man! The deceased man can do no wrong in your eyes, and with time you'll start to paint a glorified picture in your head of how he was. Having his name tattooed on you is proof of such a glorification already starting.
Any future boyfriend you have will have a big problem with this. Because by such a tattoo you are pushing his name up in their faces every single day, and they will always be reminded of him... and it will not make them happy or secure in a relationship with you. You wont allow yourself to move on if you get his name tattooed on you.
Get his name tattooed on you if you still want after 5 years. Not now while you are still heartbroken and grieving. You seriously need to reflect on the impact of such an action, and not think purely about what would be nice here and now. You got to think for the future and the rest of your life. Do you want to forever just have this man who is now dead, to be the only man you were ever with? To be the only love of your life, to be the only one you allowed near you? If so, sure, go ahead, get that tattoo. If you on the other hand want to move on, meet another man to love, maybe start a family, then NOOOOO tattoo.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): Hi. I am very sorry to hear you suffered a loss. If a tattoo would bring you some comfort it is entirely up to you if you want one. As an anon poster has suggested. Something symbolic is nice rather than a name. We lost a little one in our family a few years ago. Some of the girls decided on a little Stars and Moon tattoo. The tattoo`s look pretty on them and no one but us knows what they signify. You could try something like that maybe. And if you keep the tattoo small it can always be covered at a later date if you change your mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): Bad idea. It will prevent you moving on and it will keep other men away from you because they will think that you are refusing to move on and thus are emotionally unavailable to any new relationship
How about instead engrave his name on a ring or necklace. Then you can wear it now when your feel the need to but in the future you can also take it off when you're ready to move on and that in itself is symbolic.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): Why not get a tattoo of something symbolising your relationship rather than his name?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): yeah bad idea. cuz it will hurt you whenever you look ar the tatoo and this wont bright ur days. you will live a life full of sorrow and guilty so forget the tattoo and pray for ur ex bf to rest in peace. every ones gonna die. u r here on planet earth as temporary life the real life is coming up. iam not a registerd user i just met ur question as i was google some things and i couldnt deny the sad question thats why i gave u suggestion. if u have anything to ask me this is my email [email address blocked]
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 That's not a good idea. I am all for tattoos but if you put his name on your body then every guy you ever meet will have to hear the story. It will constantly sound like you are hung up on in and not ready to move on. I understand he will always have a place in your heart but a new guy will not see it the same way.
If you are set on getting a tattoo in his memory then you should do something symbolic. This way it has the meaning to you but you can keep that to yourself unless you choose to tell someone else.
Very few names should ever be tattoed on someone. My standing is you should never do a spouse or bf/gf, family is even a tough call. It's coming to a point where a lot of artists are refusing to tattoo names.
I hope you find something to put your mind at rest but remember that you still have the rest of your life to live.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 April 2012):
 This is a terrible idea. It's horrible he died and I'm really sorry you're struggling with it, but you have to let yourself move on. If you have a constant reminder of him for the rest of your life, you will never even have a chance. I promise you will regret doing this. What are you hoping to accomplish with this tattoo? The only thing it will accomplish are to make sure you never ever stop feeling pain around the break up and his death. And what happens when you do eventually meet someone else? You think they will be OK with their girlfriend having a tattoo of an ex?
You are letting your grief talk here, but you need to think of the rest of your life. You can't spend your whole life grieving his loss. You should consider seeing a therapist to help you deal with your loss.
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A
female
reader, Dimepieceheidi +, writes (11 April 2012):
I was once in your shoes.Except my bf commited suicide 3 years ago because of family problems and I still haven't gotten past it. Ive wanted to get his name tattooed on me somewhere but everyone told me I shouldnt. So I came up with a new idea. I decided on the title of 'our song' "You be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground" on one foot and "ill be the wings to keep your heart in the clouds" on the otherso it has more of a good happy side to it. It makes me feel more...with him. Just an idea.
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