A
female
age
30-35,
*imepieceheidi
writes:well where do I start... Hmmm I know well let's start off by saying Im 20 years old and 5 months pregnant with triplets. Thats right 3 kids all at once. Don't get me wrong I am excited for my little ones to get here but.... I'm going through alot. The other day I was using my fiancés iPhone when he got a text message I wasn't trying to snoop into his text but as I was going to close the text thing I noticed it said my younger cousins name and had a heart next to it. Me still trying to mind my own buisness read no more but the sender name again and closed the screen. Today I was once again using his phone when he missed a call from. My cousin. I screened the call and waited for the voicemail. This time I couldn't turn away from it I just had to listen so I did. She called him baby and asked when he was going to visit her and everything so then I was curious about the text messages. It broke my heart into a million pieces. Apparetly my finace/baby daddy is having a house built down in GA, has asked his job for transfer sheets, everything. The "plan" is to leave me about a month of two after the babies are born so I won't be so "stressed out" ... Well I guess my question is... Should I confront my fiancé about this or should I just let him go...?
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (9 May 2012):
dump him immediately. what a scumbag! and dont ever forgive him or your cousin, its his loss on a massive scale not yours. take him for all you can get off him, your cousin should have known better too. I can only imagine you are feeling even worse now, after the shock has worn off. I hope you get all the support and care you will need. good luck and hope you get on ok x
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Dear OP
THREE boys could still be fraternal. how many SACS are there one two or three?
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female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 Oh Dear god.... some humans should be shot!
This is terrible, you poor darling. Please make sure you have friends and family around you to support you and help you and make sure you take care of yourself and your babies.
You are better off without this idiot!
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 April 2012):
 I'm glad you can get the help you need. Please take care of yourself.
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female
reader, Dimepieceheidi +, writes (11 April 2012):
Dimepieceheidi is verified as being by the original poster of the question@So_Very_Confused.
They are all three baby boys. :)
Just as an update to everyone I haven't yet made any daring moves but while he was at work today I found another engagement ring in one of his drawers that he mentioned in some of his texts, logged onto his facebook to find disturbing pictures and statutes he had hidden from me and all sorts of stuff. I've let my grandmother know about my situation and tomorrow we will be working to find me a good lawyer and hopefully get everything situated before my babies get here. Thank you all for the help! :( I really need it
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 April 2012):
Wow are they fraternal or identical or mixed? Do you know yet? Triplet births are very rare.. about one in 500,000 births that’s TWO in a million… WOW… and to be so young… I hope you are getting awesome specialized HIGH RISK care…
I would help him leave. I would have his bags packed and by the front door when he gets home tonight.
Best of luck to you. And yes get a great lawyer for the CS you are going to get from him.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 April 2012):
Throw him out. Where is his humanity? What kind of monster would leave his pregnant wife for her own cousin? Sick.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (10 April 2012):
 First of all you need to take care of your health and your future. And keep calm. And keep stress to a minimum. So I would rule out a confrontation at this stage. If it is inevitable that he is leaving at least he is showing you his character sooner rather than later. And it is not a pretty sight. His behaviour is appalling.
Do not bother confronting him yet. Instead consult the Child Support people. QUIETLY. No doubt he might try later, to deny paternity so if you can play happy families for a little longer no doubt his ego will want his name as the father on the birth certificates. That is a good thing – it will make it a little easier to collect child support which you will need
See the right authorities about the paper work to get the child support organised if he is planning to bail out soon after the births take place.
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You are losing a man who is a coward and a dead-beat as a potential father. Your cousin is a snake in the grass too. But not as low as the Daddy of the babies.
I really hope you have a wonderful Mom or other relative who can stay with you for the first six weeks after the babies are born. Because trust me you will be very very tired after the babies are born.
If a miracle happens and your cousin retreats and he decides to stay then I would have very low trust in him. If he decides to stay then tell him not without some long term counselling as he has a lot of growing up to do before I would consider him partner/father material.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): Firstly congratulations on the triplets you're very lucky and i hope the pregnancy goes well!
Now for one thing i would definitely confront your fiancee and your cousin, both of them should know better! Not only that but if i were you i would kick him out of the house and maybe stay with your family for a while or get them to see you. The last thing you need is too much stress with the babies coming along and family and friends will be a good comfort.
Either way he has to go and the sooner the better, you will be stronger for it!
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 Throw him out now, and never look back. What an awful, awful man he is - actually I dont even think you can call him a man, he is not worthy of that word.
You are going to be more stressed out when the babies arrive because 3 little ones to look after at the same time is going to be so much hard work - so the best thing to do is get rid of your fiance now, you are only 5 months pregnant so at least you will have another 3-4 months to get over the break up before the babies arrive.
If you let him carry on with his plan, he will be with you for another 5-6 months pretending to be a happy little family - that is just sick and will not do you any good because you will know it is all lies.
You need to tell him you know everything and you want nothing more to do with him, that he has to leave immediately and you will be in touch when the babies are born to arrange child maintenace payments and visitation. Get him out of your life now, before these babies have the chance to see the pain you will go through when he finally decides to up and leave. The babies will need a happy, calm environment rather than a situation where mom is broken hearted because dad has just ran away with another woman.
Dont let him carry on getting away with this - dump his sorry ass and focus on yourself now, he is just an awful awful person and you deserve a lot better.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): Firstly I am so sorry to hear this is happening to you but congratulations on your triplets! Wow!
Now if I were in your situation I would be very, very tempted to bag up his things and leave them on the garden ready for when he finished work! A part of me would also like to erect a massive sign above the belongings saying" free to collector courtesy of my cheating, scumbag of a partner who is moving out TODAY to be with my cousin"
As much as that would be a big option I think I would be able to control myself and hopefully deal with it with a bit more dignity! (although please go for the above method of it appeals to you as it may bring more satisfaction) But being pregnant I feel I should suggest another way for you. Please do not it ignore what you know, I would tell him you need to talk, now, and say exactly what you told us here. If he accuses you of snooping, well he's the cheat so even if you had snooped thank god you did! But once you've told him what you know hopefully he will come clean and just admit it. That makes things simple and you can tell him to go now and you will ring him once the babies are born to arrange times you will let him come round to visit and in the meantime he can arrange the child maintenance payments.
If he makes things difficult then hopefully he will get out anyway, but here in the UK you can get free legal aid and if you can in your state then you should ASAP and begin proceedings to get the child maintenance payments you are entitled to so you are able to support your children and also you can set up supervised access to your children because then you will always be able to tell your kids that you did all you can for him to form a relationship with him and it is his responsibility to accept your offer.
Best of luck to you and I wish you all the best when your little ones arrive x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2012): Tell everyone. Tell your mother dad and aunt . Shame them.
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