A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So i've heard many times how women have to have emotion usually before they sleep with someone an men there emotions come after the sex.Is that true? The more you sleep with someone, feelings do end up getting stronger Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): If your question really means "If I sleep with him will he fall in love with me?" The answer is a huge resounding NO!
If your question is "Can I be this guys FWB without him developing feelings for me?" The answer is another massive no.
They seem contradictory don't they? But that's how it works sex is never the solution to anything. Giving sex because you want something more doesn't work and neither does having emotionless sex because more often than not feelings will develop and someone gets hurt.
A guy who only sleeps with you at the start and doesn't want more with you will never want more. Otherwise he'd be dating you and not just sleeping with you. A guy who agrees to be FWB because he wants more but will take what he can get will develop feelings and will be crushed.
OP the only way feelings get stronger is if there are feelings there in the first place. person12345 hit the nail on the head. Feelings will develop but not necessarily romantic feelings, feelings of anger can develop, feelings of rage, feelings of domination etc. Sex does not lead to love if love isn't already on the cards. A guy who wants to fall in love will date, a guy who doesn't will propose FWB's and he will not change his mind.
A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 I can only speak for myself. I have a difficult time getting adequately aroused unless I have feelings for the man concerned. I can never orgasm from sex unless I'm in love with my partner. But that's just me and it doesn't apply to most people. If it did, there would be no prostitution, no rape, no sexual violence. The world would have been a better place!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 "The more you sleep with someone, feelings do end up getting stronger" If that were true, FWB's would be the best thing ever. Are they? Do a quick search on this site and see for yourself.
Never equate casual sex with feelings. Sex in a meaningful relationship might help strengthen the bond but sex is not the only thing. Sex should follow intimacy, trust, warmth and affection but if you think its the other way around, then you're mistaken. A relationship based and built entirely upon sex is as fragile as a house of cards. Once the initial attraction dies down, what you you have to sustain it?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): "Is that true? The more you sleep with someone, feelings do end up getting stronger"
The one guy from whom you've "heard many times how women have to have emotion usually before they sleep with someone an[d] men the[ir] emotions come after the sex" is stringing you along so he can continue having on-demand casual sex without obligation or commitment strictly at his convenience.
What is true is that the more you sleep with someone, the more you are letting yourself be used by someone and the less that same someone respects you.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 No one is totally immune to having feelings. I think it's more whether the person wants to have a relationship on top of sex than having romantic feelings for the person. In fact one cause of violence against prostituted women is men assuming they won't have any feelings from sex with her and then developing the feelings and feeling rage about it. In my experience the whole men being more detached than women has not been true, I did a FWB thing once and I didn't feel much except friendliness and he wanted more.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (17 April 2012):
 I would say that the simple answer to that question is no, feelings don't automatically grow stronger when the guy sleeps with a girl even if there were already feelings there to begin with. Typically the more you sleep with someone the more time you spend with them in general which causes the feelings to build. If you were able to strickly only see someone while having sex with them the feelings would be limited. Keep in mind though that the guy may not have any feelings there to begin with except for the desire to have sex and although I don't like to reinforce the stereotype but it is true that men are more known for being able to keep feelings out of a sex situation.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 April 2012):
 Is this a question meant for men? I don't have to have emotion to get turned on and to have sex although I don't enjoy having meaningless relationships. We are not robots so even the stubbornest FWB partner would develop feelings, but those feelings would not motivate that person to act upon long term goals with the other partner. It would be more like an on and off relationship when one suffocated partner hit the reset button.
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