A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend very much, we have a wonderful life together and typically a wonderful sex life to boot. But lately sex has been more of a chore for me and i dont enjoy it nor do i orgasm. We have sex usually once a day give or take somedays as he works full time and goes to school and we have young children. Our positions arent extremely creative, very normal and consist of cowgirl reverse cowgirl doggy and missonary. I used to enjoy them all but now i only orgasm from doggy and i dont like missionary. There isnt much foreplay and he doesnt like giving oral. I personally am apprehensive about being fingered although ive done it. I dont really know what to do except take care of myself. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 April 2012):
 "Ive been considering asking him for a vibrator, so after hes done, i can do my own thing... But that may really hurt him."
What if you pick it out together and he uses it on you? A vibrator can be a great addition. It's a good way to "even the playing field" a bit. Sex drive is very tied to orgasm capabilities. Not just if you have them every time, but also how easy they are to have. So if you know you won't have them or it will be a lot of work to have them, of course sex won't be exciting. A vibrator simply allows you the same ability for a quick and easy orgasm as he has. You should go for it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): I am the poster. My problem is that i have told him. He knows what i like and what i dont. He says he likes me to use him and by that he means be on top and well take complete advantage which i do most days. But while im doing it i just want him to hurry up and finnish. Most of the time im not horny before we have sex and when i am the sex turns me off. I do ask him after he finishes if we can switch to doggy but usually he doesnt want to. I do enjoy oral sex he does not like giving it. I guess thats why i feel stuck. Ive been considering asking him for a vibrator, so after hes done, i can do my own thing... But that may really hurt him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 April 2012):
 YES! my suggestion is that you TALK to him. VERBALIZE what you DO like and what you don't and most of all what you would LIKE.
Best way to have a good sex life is being able to tell your partner WHAT you want.
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