A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I started internet dating and first person I spoke to was really nice, we spoke for a long time and he said wasn't looking for just bed buddy but a relationship. Ended up sleeping together, thing is he seems to be treating me like a casual :* and ^ buddy, so stupidly I thought he was telling the truth and it hurts when he doesnt text for ages. When we do get together we have amazing sex.... he is affectionate too I dont get it, we get on so well? please give your views x
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (3 January 2013):
tennistar88 tells it like it is
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 January 2013):
 I agree with tennisstar88 100%
you are FWB with this guy nothing more. He likes you but not enough to have a real relationship with you.
If you want more, stop sleeping with him but accept that he's probably not going to step up and be the boyfriend you want.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Hello,
How quickly did you sleep with him after meeting in real life?
No matter what someone says online and how long you've talked for, it's no replacement for getting to know them in real life.
He could have been being honest when he said he is looking for a relationship (or he could have been lying), but how does he know he wants a relationship with you before he actually knows you? And vice versa.
With this guy I'd suggest you go on some dates together that don't end up in the bedroom. Get to know each other . If he's not interested in doing that then he's a goner. Meet new people and take it slower, don't try and fast forward into a relationship with a man you don't know. Judge people on their actions rather than their words.
Good luck. Internet dating is hard work, you need skin as tough as a rhino but you may find the right one :)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Just about any and every guy will say whatever is necessary to get a woman to believe how wonderful he is... so that he can cajole her in to putting out for him...
Tennisstar told you the truth.......
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): I'm not sure he fed you a line. Depending on how willing you are to just put yourself out there, I'd ask to see him in person. Sit him down and tell him that you're looking for a relationship and not just someone to sleep with occasionally. Ask him if he still wants a relationship. If he says yes, ask him what that means to him. Mention that what's happening doesn't feel like a relationship to you.
To most people, that means dating and calling on a regular basis. He could just be taking things slowly. Establish expectations. He could just not be a texter or a caller and just want to see you in person.
You need to make sure YOUR needs match up with his. You're half the relationship and that's very important. If he doesn't seem to want the same thing, tell him that you're not interested in just sex and that you don't want to keep doing this.
If your goals don't match up, it'll hurt but you'll have managed it in a mature way. You'll have tried instead of just having a miscommunication occur. You're not the one in the wrong here and you haven't lied. If he does just want sex, then at least you're ridding yourself of him early.
I hope things work out for you.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 He fed you a line that you fell for. Just because he is passionate during sex doesn't mean that it is anything deeper than JUST sex. Some people are just that way inclined.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 He isn't just treating you like a casual f* buddy, you two are a friends with benefits. You're not in a relationship!
This guy gave you lip service about wanting a relationship, just to get you in the sheets. Unfortunately, you fell for it.
If you want a relationship, then stop having sex with him..and tell him off. This man isn't going to give you a relationship.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 Maybe he said that so you feel secure enough to have sex with him. Probably what happend was he had been straight forward and honest at first and no woman replied him, so he had to lie. Awful I know. Glad to know that this is also happening on the other side of the world. When a person does that you can just ignore him and not reply if you don't feel like it. If you accidentally picked up the phone then just tell him you don't remember who he is, then say bye.
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