A
female
age
30-35,
*ox_love
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we are currently living together in my house. Neither of us text hardly anyone ever. We're never even on our phones while we're together. The other night I woke up randomly which I never do to find him awake texting someone. I never said a thing. It didn't bother me. I feel I can trust him. Well last night we were sleepin and I felt his phone keep going off under his pillow so I was going to turn it off when I realized he had all these texts from his ex. It wasn't my business but I read a few of them mostly her talking and asking about me. Things like if I'm prettier than her, and how serious we are and if I'm ever mean to him she's hurt me. Stuff like that. I asked him about it later in the day and he said their just good friends. I feel like she's trying to take him from me.. Can Ed's really just be good friends? Should I be worried?
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female
reader, Fox_love +, writes (31 December 2012):
Fox_love is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for all the words said. I confronted him about it today and told him it worried me and I didn't like the fact that he was up so late texting her. He told me it was always Her texting him first and he said he had asked her to stop but she has a "cutting problem" so he was always worried. He called her parents and told them about her problem and blocked her phone number (without me asking) which I really appreciated. I believe he just didn't want her to hurt herself which I'm perfectly fine with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): it's always a red flag if the ex is contacting him like crazy and asking about you, and he says they are 'good friends." No, it means that their relationship is not done yet, it's just entered a different phase where they aren't officially together but she's still trying to get him back and he's not cutting her out of his life so he's trying to keep her in his life somehow but it's going to be tough for him to keep new boundaries if she's trying to go through them.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2012):
 she's trying to be friends and he's being clueless as to her motives.
I don't believe that ex partners can be friends. FRIENDLY yes. but friends.. NO
and I think she wants him back.
IF you trust him, then it's not a problem....
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 If it's making you uncomfortable, you need to tell him. I think it's pretty inappropriate for her to be asking him those kind of things.
Does he reply to these messages? If so, what does he say?
He should be happy to stop texting her, if it's bothering you. That's if he is 100% committed to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): I think he needs to leave her in his past, if he wants a future with you. Apparently she hasn't moved on with her life. I wouldn't like the fact that he is up in the middle of the night texting her. Why does he sleep with the phone number his pillow.
Maybe he is a great guy & you have nothing to worry about, but I wouldn't like the fact she is still a part of his life and she has no business asking questions about you.
Would he like it if you had an old boyfriend sending you messages?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): If they had sustained a good friendship for the duration of your time with him, surely you would already know this, he wouldnt be having to tell you now. And surely she would already know if you are prettier than her or not because being a nosey ex, she would have asked ages ago. Infact, why would she even care whether you are or not! Or need to have contact with him in the night? Or be telling him if you are mean to him, she will hurt you! This girl has issues and your partner should not be texting her information about you in the middle of the night, while you are (as he thinks) sleeping. It all sounds a bit off and he sounds as if he is trying to play it down. The fact that she is talking about harming you is wrong and he should not be encouraging her by replying to her strange texts, especially behind your back! I would tell him that contact with ANYONE who talks about hurting you is a deal breaker and he shouldnt respond to her anymore. The pair of them sound a bit `iffy` to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): You need to relax, she is just jealous that you are with him. She is annoyed with you, but she will get over it.
Is he responding? If he is the confront him about this and see what happens!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 December 2012):
It's not appropriate for him to be having that kind of conversation with her. Keeping in touch with your ex isn't completely bad, but that wasn't a "just friends" text, at least from her side. If I was you I'd put a stop to it. Tell him that she obviously still has feelings for you and it makes you uncomfortable to have her communicating with him.
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