A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 17-year-old Asian international student. And I'm having a crush on a guy for a few months who is 20 right now. Actually he already had done some sexual stuffs with me although we're not in a relationship. Days ago I confessed to him that I liked him. He replied that he gave me a 5 on the 1-10 love scale, but he also said that he didn't have the same feeling as I had for him. He said that I still haven't adapted to American social style, and that we don't have many things in common, and I was not quite mature enough yet. He wants to wait a little bit longer, like 2-3 more years before making a decision for this. I believe that 2-3 years doesn't really matter to me and I can wait for him. But I can't be sure about his feeling. I just afraid that he will come up not loving me and I have wasted my time for nothing. Should I wait for him or not? I'm looking forward to receiving for reply, thank you so much.
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female
reader, LoveShoudntDestroy +, writes (26 November 2016):
 No way. I promise you it's not a good idea for so many reasons. A lot of American Men (and men in general) Only want sex, and will say mean things and string you along but never give you a real relationship. Also in America, it's illegal to have sex with a minor unless your married, it depends on what state you live in but it could actually be a crime your committing. I'm just letting you know to be careful. You are young, smart and seem like a beautiful person. Don't worry about one guy when you are only 20. Have fun, meet lots of people, try new things, join clubs and just smile. Smiling and eye contact is important here. If you do like the guy a lot and none of what I'm saying mstters(when I was boy crazy and in college I pursued my crushes until they loved me back and let me tell you what I waste of time that was but if your like me, your gonna do it anyways) In that case..Start practicing the English language better.Dress body flattering clothes, workout-even if you don't need to it's great for self esteem and meeting people,-don't ever act like you like a guy and act really busy and unavailable. Don't always say yes to everything and not only pretend to be happy but eventually start doing things that make you happy and it will show to him and other people. Get a group of loyal fun friends and do fun stuff with them. It's easier for guys to approach a group of girls then one girl. Also if you do all this stuff, the 17 year old will be 18 and legal and you will be able to have him, especially if you have been putting him off for a while-it drives guys crazy when you switch it up with them and ignore them..I promise all this will help you not only get your boyfriend back but also just enjoy your time in America. Please be safe and enjoy your life and I promise you have a lot of years to focus on boys but this is also prime time to focus on you for when the perfect guy does come along. Take Care.??
A
male
reader, The unstable entrepenour +, writes (26 November 2016):
It sounds like he wasn't completely interested in you, but didn't quite know how to break it to you. If I was you, I'd move on as quickly as possible, and find yourself someone that appreciates you for who you are, either here or back home. Someone that tells you "you're a 5/10" doesn't deserve a minute of your time, much less years.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2016): If he only rated you 5 don't wait for him. Wait for someone who rates you highly. We always notice the good bits first and he hasn't recognised your qualities.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your help, I really appreciate that. Honestly I made a decision for this, that I'll move on and stop wasting time and mind for this guy, since I feel that he's too selfish and disrespectful. He judged me without understanding my feelings and thought. I'll regard this as a lesson for myself and find another that is worth my dedication. Thank you guys so much and have a good day.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 November 2016):
 No am afraid he is just with you for a bit off fun. He has rated you and average girl and he likes hooking up with you but if he wanted to be with you then he would. Am afraid this guy has no feelings for you at all. Please don't wait for him or do anything sexual with him again.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 November 2016):
 Noooo don't wait .
You cannot be sure about his feelings ?
I'd say you can be pretty sure. Pretty sure that he is not that into you :
he admitted he does not return your feelings ( at least he has been clear about this )-
a 5 on the scale of love is...lukewarm. Half way between total hatred and total love. So, more or less, indifference.
- He sees as a negative that you have not quite Americanized yourself.
- He finds that you do not have much in common.
- He thinks you are immature.
Quite a bit of negatives, it seems to me. Sure ,this is his judgement now and some times things and feelings change, still , starting from such weak premises, it would be a very risky , foolish bet to invest your time on waiting for him.
Why didn't he cut you loose frankly and openly yet ?
if he is a nice guy, because he is letting you down easy and trying to spare your feelings. If he is not so nice, because he so can keep exploiting you sexually while you wait 3 years for him to make up his mind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2016): Move on. He's planning to waste your time.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 November 2016):
 Ordinarily, I'd say waiting is a good idea because it's a fairly big gap at your ages. However, he's using it as an excuse to continue sexual acts with you, without commitment.
Stop interacting with him for good and don't give anyone sex without being in a relationship for a few months first, as most guys will only want sex from someone who gives it without a relationship.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 November 2016):
 That roughly translates to: 'I want to keep having sex with you until you realise that we're never going to date each other and move on'
If someone has to have a think whether they want to be with you then the answer is as good as no.
Find someone that feels the same way about you as this guy is not the one.
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