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Did he ask me out or was it just a joke?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2016) 10 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2016)
A female Norway age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I got asked out today, or at least I think so. So I want to ask you guys on here if you think he said it as a joke, or meant business.

We work at the same building, but not the same job/office. So we typically meet and just talk for 5-10 minutes. I am on an online dating site, and a some days ago (maybe a week or so ago) I saw that he was also on that site, and he had visited my profile.

I just thought of it as amusing, and didn't bring it up. But since then he's sort of been extra attentive to me, or I could be imagining it? Like extra smiles and stuff. He didn't mention anything until today, and I didn't either, because there were always someone else around. But today we met and no one else was around, and then he just said in passing by: "I saw you on that dating site", and I laughed at it and said I noticed him there too. And that's when he said "So we should go out on a date sometime then!", and I just laughed it away and instead asked him how long he's been on there and if he'd been on any dates yet.

I at first didn't think he actually meant it, but then in retrospect I wonder if he did? What do you guys think?

BTW, he informed me that he hadn't been going on any dates yet, just joined the site, and he asked me if I had any success there, to which I answered that I had some dates, but nothing more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2016):

After additional details added, I have to agree with your other co-workers. If you are so close in proximity as far as your work-place goes; it might be best to err on the side of caution. You can't predict how people react to rejection or how they will behave during a serious disagreement.

So far, it was only a suggestion. He didn't actually set a date. So, follow your gut feeling. It's okay to know that he would if you wanted to. From your posts, I think you'd rather not; but just wanted to be sure you weren't jumping to any conclusions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We work different hours and his work is out of the office, so we see each other just when he gets back to get his stuff at the end of the day. But occacionally I trade shifts with another girl and that shift is the same hours as his and we would see each other a lot more. Then there is company outings etc. So all in all it would be hard to avoid one another in case it didnt work out.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntFrom what you wrote you aren't really co-workers, you just work in the same building. Correct?

So yes, it can still be awkward if it doesn't work out and it IS something to consider.

And dating a brother's friend? Yes, that can be iffy too. But it doesn't mean it's doomed. I dated my one of my brother's friends and well, he MARRIED and is till WITH one my MY good friend.. they have been together for 30 years.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your feedback, I kind of suspected that he was sincere. But at the time he said it I didn't know how to respond. First off we work together, and I have been recommended so many times, and even recommended others, to not date co-workers. Because things get awkward if it doesn't work out. And I really like my job, I wouldn't want to risk it becoming awkward.

Second, he's the brother of a friend of mine. And I have been recommended to never date a friends sibling. Apparently it's a no-no.

Although, he is a handsome man, I can't deny that. I had in fact thought of asking him out myself, because there have been occasions where I could have done it without any awkwardness. But I didn't jump on those opportunities because of the above stated reasons.

Also, people at my work often joke around, just yesterday I got proposed to. This guy walked straight up to my desk and asked me to marry him! Maybe I get a bit desensitized by all these proposals and people asking me out as a joke (we often have pensioners come by the work and they always ask me out, lol).

But thanks again everyone, I will just have to think about this some more and weigh the pro's and con's.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2016):

N91 agony auntDefinitely not a joke, if he wasn't interested he wouldn't ask. Simple as that.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntPoor guy probably spent ages waiting for an opportunity when nobody else was around to mention the dating site and casually test the ground to see if you would be interested in dating him.

Next time you are chatting with him, ask casually "so, when are we going on this date?" and see what he says.

Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2016):

YES, he almost certainly would like to go on a date with you. It is unlikely that he was joking. He just doesn't want to make things awkward (in case you are not interested) and so he said it in a jovial, light-hearted way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2016):

"So we should go out on a date sometime then!"

Translation: "we should go on a date sometime then!"

He has tentatively asked you out; yet to be scheduled.

Continue the friendly chats and it is likely an actual date, place, and time will be set-up.

Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntIf he wasn't interested in going out with you, he wouldn't have brought up your profile and he wouldn't have asked you out.

So yes, I think he was sincere.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2016):

D'oh

He spends several minutes talking to you on a regular basis... he is actively looking for a relationship,, he appears to be being extra attentive and he asks you on a date... and you suspect he may be joking?

em... I would thouroughly suggest that, no he is not joking...

If you are interested dont waste time doubting..

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