A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey all . Ive started online dating a month ago and been talking to a guy at the beginning he took his time getting to know me but suddenly he seems to want to meet fast like the world is going to end and he has to cram it in . Im careful and take some things with a pinch of salt like he says im very cute ( im not ) hes hoping theres a spark and that he seems full of nerves just talking wanting to get loads out . He came across very worried that i wasnt going to like him , he wanted to meet in 3 hours after he finished work but i said no, we have arranged and agreed to meet this weekend . He could be desperate , ive not come across men like this before. Im wondering if hes insecure and just one of those people who need to have someone in his life and a fear of being alone . if its not this anyone have an idea what it could be ?
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insecure, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2016):
 Thanks for the update, glad to hear it went well, all the best AH.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2016): hi im the op , thank you all for your advice the date went fantastic and we have another set up . thanks everyone
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (23 November 2016):
It has been a month, maybe he has just thought to himself it is time and now he wants to rush it before he or you change your mind. Go for it meet him at the weekend in a public place and see how it goes. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2016):
 It's online dating, girl. Men online usually want to meet up sooner rather than later. Same goes for women, you will get used to it. Because after experience with online dating, you soon discover that you are wasting your time just talking to one another. There can be lots of sparks and funny messages being sent back and forth, and then when you meet in person they've lied about how they look, used old photos, or they're just not as articulated as they pretended to be in messages. After having had two or three encounters like that, you soon learn to arrange dates in real life a bit faster.
You're new to online dating, which is why this seems rushed to you. But he's probably been around the block for a bit, and knows what the deal is all about. When it comes to online dating, meeting up in real life is important, and people prefer to do this as soon as possible. Otherwise they risk spending loads of time, weeks and perhaps even months, messaging someone and getting their hopes up over someone who might not be compatible at all. Most of the time, you can know within minutes after meeting whether it will work or not. It's all in the body language, the smell of the other person etc. Not just their looks, but that is important as well, of course.
People just don't want to waste their time and energy on someone if they end up not liking the person at all after having met in real life. It's better to meet first, a quick coffee (max 30 minutes first date), and then text more later.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 November 2016):
 I agree with honeypie, a month is a long time to speak to someone on a dating site so I think it's natural that he wants to meet up.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 November 2016):
 Could be that he likes talking to you and is eager to see if there is any chemistry between you. I think a month is a good amount of chat before a meeting. Why drag it out?
I think he is interested and that is a good thing. IMHO. I don't see it as a red flag that he wants to meet up. And I don't see it as desperation, not after a month of talking - a day or a week? yes. Or someone looking to hook up more than find a relationship. So, so far so good.
If YOU wish to go slower then go slow. Meeting over the weekend is fine. Good for you to take charge there. And I would keep the next few dates to public dates, for now, you the focus is on getting to know one another IN person, but NOT at each other's homes.
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