| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 18 October 2012: Haha, well that was a bit sexist... But it is a good description of one perspective, and one way to analyse it. ... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 7 October 2012: " sex is when I want to make love and masturbation is when I want to feel good. Am I wrong?"
Somewhat right. Can't speak for all women, and we aren't machines, sometimes there are different reasons behind an action. But I guess you could say so. ... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 6 October 2012: Then I suggest you improve your skills at oral sex. If you want to give "better" orgasms. But really.. like I said before, it is two different things.
Don't you ever touch yourself and get an orgasm on your own? You talk as if you aren't aware of... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's outgoing personality is causing some trust issues with me. How can I deal with this, or should I even deal with this?
Q. Hi there, I am in a big mess and I need some good advice! My boyfriend and I have been together for around 7 months now. He has a very friendly nature and is able to have conversations with almost anyone and everyone. He makes friends with fem...
A. 4 October 2012: It sounds like you never trusted him to begin with. He used to let you check his phone? A girlfriend doesn't get access to a boyfriends phone... That's an invasion of privacy. You shouldn't have ever done that, especially if you had trust in him and ... (read in full...)
Should I take a risk and move to Sweden??
Q. I'm thinking about moving to Sweden for a couple of years to live or study...it's something that's been in my mind for about three years now. Even though i don't NEED to study further because i'm 26 and already have two degrees, i would just lik...
A. 4 October 2012: Pick up a class at some university or private school, perhaps? Just to get connections and have some footing? Or start looking for a part time job once you get there. Volunteer some place, that's always a fast way to get to know others and build up ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 4 October 2012: My trick is to always make a point out of how you treat EVERYONE this way. Treat others that way right in front of your male friends, or talk about a crush you have on some other guy, loud and obviously. Make a point out of how interested/in love ... (read in full...)
We recently gave our virginity to each other but my boyfriend wants to wait before having sex again
Q. Hello everyone, My boyfriend and I (we are both 24) recently lost our virginity to each other. We talked about it together vaguely for about 2 months before, and seriously for about a month before we had sex. We have been seeing each other for a...
A. 4 October 2012: "he felt a little foolish for not making sure the condom stayed on him as he pulled out, and quite frankly, it should have been something I was aware of too"
No, that's his job. Not yours. You can't feel when the condom slips off, nor can you see ... (read in full...)
Is it because she has already done it all? She's been wild sexually in the past with others. Now she is happy with if fortnightly.
Q. I have a question and I was hoping I could get some insight from the females on here. I will try to keep it short, but I feel I have to give a little background so you guys know the full story. Both my girlfriend and I are pretty close to getting...
A. 3 October 2012: "when does the average female reach their full sexuality? "
I heard it happens when she's in her 40's.
"What I don’t understand is she would do all this crazy stuff with guys she never cared for, but now that she has found me her sexuality ha... (read in full...)
Should I take a risk and move to Sweden??
Q. I'm thinking about moving to Sweden for a couple of years to live or study...it's something that's been in my mind for about three years now. Even though i don't NEED to study further because i'm 26 and already have two degrees, i would just lik...
A. 3 October 2012: Swedish men are gorgeous. What more is there to think about?
Go. It's a lot cheaper in Sweden than in Norway, so I think you'll do just fine money-wise. It's also an easy trip to Finland, where things are even cheaper (the further east you go t... (read in full...)
Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 3 October 2012: Welcome to the club of women who can not be friends with guys. I saved you a seat!
I can't be friends with guys either. First off all they tend to fall in love with me, because they think I'm interested in them or what not. I'm just friendly... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this? My Bf is constantly implying how much better things would be when we go all the way
Q. hello everybody. i'm in a great relationship for about eight months now - thing is, i'm a virgin, and my boyfriend, who is older and more experienced is not exactly sensitive about it. i mean, he doesn't do anything i'm uncomfortable with, but he's...
A. 3 October 2012: I don't think you can make someone more understanding, more considerate, or less interested in his own pleasure above yours. Either he is that way or he isn't. He sounds selfish, only interested in his own pleasure and above all: manipulating. ... (read in full...)
Is a 6-7 year age gap really that big of a deal in dating?
Q. I've recently started dating this girl. She's really nice, I get along with her really well. But there's a slight age difference. I'm 22 (23 soon), she's recently turned 30. I've only told a few of my friends about her (we've only been on a ...
A. 3 October 2012: When both people are over 20 I don't see a problem with it. In cases where one is a teenager I think it is creepy and disturbing, unless there's only 2-3 years age difference.
You're both over 20, so you're both adults. Nothing weird about it... (read in full...)
I stripped down to my boxers on a webcam. Now I'm afraid I'm on a porn site!
Q. Hello, Please help me, I can't get this out of my mind. I guess I did something very stupid. About a year ago I went to a chatbox and chatted with a girl. We continued on msn-messenger and then she asked me if I wanted to use the webcam. I agreed...
A. 3 October 2012: Don't do it again.
I doubt anyone would be interested in seeing a man stripping down to his boxers though. Online porn needs to be.. porn, in order for people to bother clicking it. And a guy stripping down to his boxers isn't porn. Hence I ... (read in full...)
This guy calls me a lesbian. He says he does it for a joke. What should I do?
Q. I have this friend who likes to joke around and call me a lesbian. I have asked a numbers of times not to call me a lesbian and he keeps saying, "oh lighten up i am only Joking". I have told him please stop it. he always says "I am Joking". Ye...
A. 3 October 2012: He doesn't sound like much of a friend. Maybe it's time you stop hanging out with him.
"I told him if he does that i have him charged and he said that they can't do anything cause it's the truth so I cant be charged for. " Yes, he can be charged ... (read in full...)
My younger girlfriend suddenly left me and I cant get over it. What do I do?
Q. She is 27 and I am 44. We met at work and were together 5 years through good and tough times. Just as it seems everything is finally settling down, as we can finally move on together,she dumps me saying its not working, a week before she moves into ...
A. 3 October 2012: "She says she still loves me and that splitting up is still hurting her just as much as me. But if that was the case, if it was hurting her as much, then why are we still split up?"
Because being in a relationship with you obviously hurts her more... (read in full...)
Will I be taken seriously in a business professional environment or in interviews because of my less-than ultra-femme appearance?
Q. okay, this isn't actually a specific relationship question, so much as it's just a general question i really need advice about. it's something that is really stressing me a great deal. i am a 28-year-old college grad with great interpersonal re...
A. 3 October 2012: "i guess i'm just curious if i will ever be given the opportunities feminine, straight women are given just because they are the norm and the business world is still male dominated. "
I'm heading for a job interview on Thursday and I wouldn't... (read in full...)
Attracted to my fiancee's older brother.
Q. My fiancee and I have been together for almost three years now, and we have a 1 1/2 year old daughter together. I'm about to be 20, and he just turned 19 in August. We're going to get married here in the next month or so. Now, my problem is, I've...
A. 2 October 2012: If you can't keep your crushes under control then you're bound to cheat at one point or another in life. Knwoing you have a crush on his brother, or an attraction towards him, you shoudl distance yourself and nip it in the bud. Kill off that crush. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to show anger like a normal person?
Q. My girlfriend never gets mad. She just never gets impatient or annoyed or frazzled or frustrated. It's come to the point when I just want to instigate fights to get a reaction out of her. I push her, and push and push, but she nevers gets angry. W...
A. 2 October 2012: Instead of trying to "break" her (you sound like a horrible boyfriend when you say that btw), try to COMMUNICATE with her. Tell her how you feel, that it is bothering you, and you aren't used to her form of reactions. It makes you unsure about what ... (read in full...)
Need to tell him I've got feelings for some-one else, but how? What should I say? I feel terrible.
Q. How the hell do you tell a guy you've been on a few dates with that you have feelings for someone else? I've been out with this guy a few times and I do like him so much, but the problem is that this guy who I met much before the one i'm seeing now, ...
A. 2 October 2012: Don't tell him you like someone else. Simply say:
"It's been great getting to know you, but I don't feel like this can go any further. I don't have the right feelings for you, the chemistry just isn't there for me. You're a great person, and I ho... (read in full...)
He suggested this game, but I don't know what will work. How am I supposed to convince my boyfriend to have sex?!
Q. my boyfriend wants me to convince him to have sex to see how convincing I can be. He wants it to be a game. I know he does, because he told me he wants to see if i can convince him to as well. I need help I've tried different things, but no luck....
A. 2 October 2012: Dress up looking nice, and then ignore him. That's what seems to work. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suggested I get a sex toy for when he is away. But I'm not sure. Are there any that are better than most that you would recommend?
Q. I have quite a high sex drive, and my boyfriend has suggested that I think about buying a toy for when I'm 'in the mood' but he isn't around. I've never used toys before and although I've thought about it, I'm a bit hesitant. Sure it'd be nice to ...
A. 2 October 2012: Plastic doesn't compare. But that's not the point, it's not meant to be a fulfilling substitute. It isn't, and can't ever be.
But, unless you're one of the lucky few women who can bring herself to an orgasm using no help other than your own body... (read in full...)
Should I treat the anniversary of the day his brother died the same as any other day? Or should I try to do something special for him?
Q. this week marks the anniversary of my boyfriend's little brother's death. which happen a few years ago. We've talked about it very few times during the last year we've been together. he doesn't mention his brother much either. he didn't tell me ...
A. 2 October 2012: Just thought about it a little. If I was to pay special attention to the times people have died I'd not be able to get through the year...
Had a Christmas holiday once were I attended 3 funerals. So that would ruin Christmas and New Years ev... (read in full...)
Should I treat the anniversary of the day his brother died the same as any other day? Or should I try to do something special for him?
Q. this week marks the anniversary of my boyfriend's little brother's death. which happen a few years ago. We've talked about it very few times during the last year we've been together. he doesn't mention his brother much either. he didn't tell me ...
A. 2 October 2012: Don't make a big deal out of it. It's not likea day you want to celebrate! Go about it as any other day. If he wants to do something special then he'll tell you. I've had several family members and friends die. I don't go mark the dates in my ... (read in full...)
She masturbates in a less usual way, crossing her legs. Which is better? Her way or sex with a partner?
Q. Hey all I appreciate any advice. I have been with my gf for 10 months I'm 21. So this is why I'm posting: Basically she masturbates using the method of crossing her leg and squeezing. She never masturbates with fingers. When I ask what she prefe...
A. 2 October 2012: Isn't this exactly the same as asking which do guys prefer, masturbation or sex?
They're two different things, for different occasions. The one isn't better than the other, each thing is good in it's own way. It's like asking what is better, ... (read in full...)
I love her so much that I'm scared to death to lose her
Q. i've been dating my gf for two years now, and so far everything's been pretty great. really great. it seems to me like she is my first true relationship. i just entered my 30s and i feel like before that i was just drifting through the dating world ...
A. 1 October 2012: Two years of dating, just hit your thirties... You've matured since you were in your twenties, hence why you argue less and sort things out rather than bail. But what was I getting at? Yes, time for the next step my friend. Propose that you... (read in full...)
My g/f is so mature that I feel like I need a "wilder" girlfriend!
Q. my gf is just 22, so am i, and she's very mature for her age. maybe too mature sometimes. she's very responsible and she once told me she's had to be from an early age because her parents worked a lot and she's the eldest of her four little sisters. ...
A. 1 October 2012: You'll grow older in time as well. You don't have to break up with her just because you don't get along with every single part of her personality. It's okay. As long as you and her are happy together, and as long as the good outweighs the bad, then ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Fiance I made-out with another women?
Q. Hello, feeling like a piece of crap and could use some advice. I've been with my fiance for 10yrs and we are planning our marriage here soon, and actually just had our engagement party with our friends last week. I love her dearly, we are m...
A. 1 October 2012: The fact that it was meaningless could be more hurtful for her to hear than you think. I mean how would you feel if she told you she threw away the purity of yoru relationship, and threw away honesty, and threw away loyalty to you.. over something ... (read in full...)
If a man in a relationship had a choice of sex or a blow job, then why does he so often prefer the latter?
Q. I'm trying to better understand men. Psychologically, what makes them more in the mood for a blow job over sex in the context of a relationship?...
A. 1 October 2012: Your question is invalid. Men are not all the same, not all will want one or the other more.
Maybe YOUR boyfriend prefers blow jobs over sex. But that's just him. He does not represent all men. My boyfriend prefers sex over blow-jobs. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Fiance I made-out with another women?
Q. Hello, feeling like a piece of crap and could use some advice. I've been with my fiance for 10yrs and we are planning our marriage here soon, and actually just had our engagement party with our friends last week. I love her dearly, we are m...
A. 1 October 2012: "I don't want to hurt my fiance, if I tell her it will cause her much pain for a meaningless moment."
Telling her isn't what is hurtful, it is the cheating that is hurtful. Separate those two. If you didn't want to hurt her you shouldn't have got... (read in full...)
Is a 13 year gap for dating really such a big deal.
Q. I've recently started casually dating a guy who is 13 years older than me, I'm 24. We're having lots of fun, i enjoy his company and its not serious. I get annoyed when we go out because people stare and comment, with one girl actually saying it ...
A. 1 October 2012: There's nothing to do with it other than be a good example for others and never "point and stare" yourself. Then again, it's human nature. Whenever we see something that is outside of the norm, or meet people who are different, we all go into this ... (read in full...)
Do good looking people stay single for longer because people are afraid to approach them?
Q. Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway? I read this in an article a ...
A. 1 October 2012: "Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway?"
Semi-true. People wont app... (read in full...)
Will the man get the yeast infection too?
Q. if a female has a yeast infection and has intercourse with a man, does the man gets it?!...
A. 30 September 2012: Yes.... (read in full...)
If you won money, how much would you give your guardian?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, it's a "what if" question. Ok, let's say you are 17 years old and you've been living with somebody like a guardian since you were 16, you don't have any parents, and you pay the person $300 ever...
A. 30 September 2012: Sorry, I apparently skipped the part where you wrote you already pay for food and shelter. In that case, I wouldn't do anyting different once I turned 18 at all, except for maybe moving out and live on my own unless I really got along with my ... (read in full...)
If you won money, how much would you give your guardian?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a relationship question, it's a "what if" question. Ok, let's say you are 17 years old and you've been living with somebody like a guardian since you were 16, you don't have any parents, and you pay the person $300 ever...
A. 30 September 2012: I'd not give the guardian anything, but keep my winning private, and put the money away in a savings account.
If there comes a rainy day, then I might give some money to keep the roof over our heads.
Then again, once I turn 18 and am offici... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's behaviour normal?
Q. I just wanted opinions to see if my boyfriends behaviour is normal or not. so I left his house around 12 this morning to meet my best girlfriend for a coffee and I told him that i MIGHT go to a shop to look for bridesmaid shoes as my friend a...
A. 30 September 2012: Depends. Did you have plans to meet him later? If so then you could have been more considerate and informed him of your change in plans. All it takes is a small text message to let him know.
However, 17 missed calls is exessive. Sounds like the... (read in full...)
Why is he lying to me if he isn't doing anything wrong?
Q. I am in a new relationship, have been with the guy for about ten months now. It has recently turned into a long distance thing which is fine as I have done it before. I trust him.. or at least I did. He is gud friends with a girl, which is fine, ex...
A. 30 September 2012: "If he hasn't got anything to lie about why is he lying?" Because he has got something to lie about. What exactly do you think, that he and her are platonic friends? Whatever it is they've got going, it is something he doesn't want you to... (read in full...)
An overprotective mother, how can I get her to be reasonable?
Q. Hello. My question deals with an overprotective mother. I am 22, going on 23 in 3 months. I never dated in high school because of how she over reacts about boys. It was just easier to not date then to constantly argue with her. So yesterday, I ...
A. 30 September 2012: Why are you living with your mother? Financial reasons? You are an adult now, why can you not live on your own?
My father is over-protective as well, I never told him I have boys for friends, and never told him about a boyfriend until I moved in... (read in full...)
How can I be sexy to the opposite sex?
Q. So I guess I can illustrate my issue with an example. I'm standing in this hip dive bar I like with some friends, and as we sit at a table cracking jokes and making pop culture references, as is the way with most of my social engagements, I see a ...
A. 30 September 2012: Ditch your friends next time, go out alone. Being in a group limits you and you wont get to know others. The more people you're hanging out with at the club, the less new ones you'll meet. Unless you're willing to arrive with friends, and then leave ... (read in full...)
Can't believe he spoke to me this way! Should I forgive him?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were having a disagreement tonight, and it ended with him saying 'f**k you you little piece of s**it' then he hung up on me - in the 2 years we've been together hes never spoken to me like that, I can't get it out of my head he ...
A. 30 September 2012: Forgive him.
If he does it again then don't forgive him. ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Do you wear stockings underneath your clothing?
Q. Just a quick question to all those ladies out there. Does anyone actually ever wear stockings underneath their clothes (like on t.v and in movies) or do people just wear leggings? The reason I ask is because if true then... ;-). But anyone I've ever ...
A. 30 September 2012: Read some of the other answers... I guess what I mean by stockings is what the others mean by "tights". But when I say thights I mean a much thicker, closer to pants-like, type of undergarment (without feet).
This again comes from it being co... (read in full...)
Ladies: Do you wear stockings underneath your clothing?
Q. Just a quick question to all those ladies out there. Does anyone actually ever wear stockings underneath their clothes (like on t.v and in movies) or do people just wear leggings? The reason I ask is because if true then... ;-). But anyone I've ever ...
A. 30 September 2012: Stockings? Like on TV? I'm not sure what you mean actually. But in the general meaning of the word stockings: yes, I do wear them. I wear thick woolen stockings in winter-time, underneath my clothes. And, some times in summer too, but I live above ... (read in full...)
Does he want more than FWB?
Q. About a year ago I started uni and met a whole lot of new people, I got in an awesome friend group and everything was good. One of the guys from the group was a bit of a slag and hooked up with tonnes of girls, but he was still a great guy. After ...
A. 30 September 2012: "I was fine with just being another one of his hook-ups. "
Correction *he was one of YOUR hook-ups.
Do YOU want more than a random hook-up? No? Then tell him so and stop flirting with him or leading him on. Want more? Then tell him so and ... (read in full...)
I have an athletic body, but no boobs. Are my friends right about the comments, I'm now self conscious guys will be put off!!?
Q. I feel really self conscious about my body after the comments from people I live with at uni, now I think they're right that a guy wont like my body or maybe I should get surgery, or gain weight, anything to change myself. I'm not that tall, only ...
A. 29 September 2012: "my friends says looks weird, it's like the smallest gap but they said it's weird that my thighs don't touch"
They're not your friends. Really. Friends don't say their friends look weird. Friends got each others back. I have a huge gap between ... (read in full...)
My very serious boyfriend has a 4 year old daughter he never told me about...
Q. Ive been dating my current boyfriend for 10 months now. Although ive had a couple of boyfriends in the past, this is the first time that I know ive fallen in love (im 23, boyfriend is 26). A couple of months into our relationship, my...
A. 28 September 2012: To answer your last question though:
You being so concerned and worried about this, and experiencing this moral dilemma, is because you do love him. If you didn't love him you wouldn't care much, really. But you love the idea you had of him, and... (read in full...)
My very serious boyfriend has a 4 year old daughter he never told me about...
Q. Ive been dating my current boyfriend for 10 months now. Although ive had a couple of boyfriends in the past, this is the first time that I know ive fallen in love (im 23, boyfriend is 26). A couple of months into our relationship, my...
A. 28 September 2012: "He says he didnt tell me because our relationship was magical"
In oher words: your relationship wasn't real, he didn't take your seriously, and you had no future.
There's no excuse, he's been pretending to be something he isn't, keeping t... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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