A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend were having a disagreement tonight, and it ended with him saying 'f**k you you little piece of s**it' then he hung up on me - in the 2 years we've been together hes never spoken to me like that, I can't get it out of my head he keeps saying he's sorry and he didn't mean anything he said, but I feel so hurt and as if our relationship means nothing to him if he could speak to me that wayAm I over reacting and should I forgive him, or is it a sign of what he really thinks of me? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2012): To the last comment - in not making myself the victim what we were arguing about is a woman who was messaging him and he didn't tell me about it, I saw it in his phone - poor him! I have nothing to apologize about and he had no right to speak to me like that I've NEVER spoken to him like that or insulted him! And where did I say he was an abusive boyfriend - I said I was hurt by being spoken to like that and why shouldn't I be?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): sorry to say what i'll say next....but...maybe you drove him to talking to you that way. it isn't as though he had a dormant verbally-abusing side of him and POOF! out of nowhere it shows up and you're the victim and innocent one in all this. You made him mad enough to call you a...you know what! don't get all pissy because your bf got angry enough to insult you. people insult each other all the time and don't take it to heart and chose to let it roll off their backs.it isn't a matter of forgiving him. it's not as though he killed your cat or stripped you of your dignity. he screwed up and you obviously did too(though, you don't reveal your side of the argument, just his). you admitted to having a disagreement. i think you meant a fight, because no one would just blow up like that over a little tiff. COME ON!!! and qualifying it a disagreement only shows that you are trying to paint yourself as a victim, the hurt little angel.i don't buy it!!i'm a woman and i hate it when other women paint themselves as being victims of abusing bfs or husbands when on the flip side they have no problem with insulting and hitting the lovers. because we are the fairer sex doesn't give us the right to be abusive toward men either. no abuse from either side, period!There's no need for forgiveness. my advice, let it go. yeah, tell him you didn't appreciate the insult and the tone, blah, blah, blah. but you should also apologize to HIM for angering him. you're just as wrong as he is; your reactions may have been different, but just as wrong.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 I'm assuming that he had been drinking alcohol prior to that outburst.....
Nonetheless.... You'd be OK if you tell him that you never want to see or speak to him again.......
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 September 2012):
 It could have been a lot worse (what he said) but if this is something you don't feel you can "just" forgive then don't. You might be able to forgive it down the road. However, you need to figure out if this ONE "smack-talk" is such a no-no that you can't continue dating him or not.
Just remember, you can not hold this over his head once you decide to forgive it.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Forgive him.
If he does it again then don't forgive him.
...............................
|
