A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently started casually dating a guy who is 13 years older than me, I'm 24. We're having lots of fun, i enjoy his company and its not serious. I get annoyed when we go out because people stare and comment, with one girl actually saying it was disgusting. I don't really understand what the problem is. I'm not an 18 year old and the guy is only 3 years older than my brother whom i get on with like a house on fire, we're best mates and we go out drinking together all the time. He's fine with it. Also i have been through a lot in my 24 years so its not like i'm naive and don't know how to handle someone older because i know nothing about life and human nature. He's single and we're just having a bit of fun. Why can't people just let us be. I don't get why society is so down on it. Is a 13 year gap for dating really such a big deal. I must confess i was really surprised by people's reactions. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (3 October 2012):
The rule of thumb for a woman younger than a man is half his age plus seven. Since he's 37, you're right on the cusp. After he turns 40, you'll forever after be on the right side of that equation...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): Its not really a big deal unless the legal age of consent stands in the way, which in your case, it doesn't.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (1 October 2012):
 At the end of the day age is nothing but a number, there is nothing wrong with age gaps atal, provided of course it all falls within the laws of consent. If you are happy, he is happy, you both get along well and enjoy each others company then what others think should not even come into it.
all the best
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): personally, i find something appealing with relationships and age gaps like ten years, not more than fifteen though, only when it is actually legal. but you're way past the point where someone might be worried about your wellbeing from being with an older man. you're older and smarter (i hope) and should be able to make sensible decisions.
i don't believe in coincidences. and i think that if you meet someone it's for a reason and the circumstances are also there for a reason. the fact that he's older maybe means the universe is trying to teach you something, with someone older with more life experience and on the flip side, you are there to teach him something. it may bt be serious, but people get amazing results from very small and seemingly insignificant sources. you might not be together in a month, or you might find yourself falling in love with him and going the distance. whatever the outcome, i think this is a good thing.
people get put off by it because of the stereotypes attached to such a relationship. the older man, desperate for a younger woman, mid-life crisis and all. the younger woman looking for a sugar daddy. it all gets into people's heads (though, i'm saying that doesn't happen, it does, a lot) and they can't seem to look beyond that and see the relationship within.
for the people who find it disgusting, all you can do is take the high road and say, 'to each his own'. it isn't fair to judge someone so callously because of who you like and who they are and how old they are.
i'm sure the age difference isn't even that much of an issue for you.
enjoy your time with him. and who knows what will happen
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): People sneer because people would question why you're with him. $$ or love? People simply assume. That's why.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I think when you are in a relationship you have to learn NOT to care what others think. You will have someone try and judge you if you let them. Could be you are taller then the guy? or of different ethnic, nationalities or religious background and people will tell you it CAN NOT work..
If it works for you two, go for it and learn to take what people say with a grain of salt. After all, THEY are not in the relationship, you and he are in it.
Live life.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 There's nothing to do with it other than be a good example for others and never "point and stare" yourself. Then again, it's human nature. Whenever we see something that is outside of the norm, or meet people who are different, we all go into this basic "point and stare" mode. You've done it yourself Im sure, without knowing it.
If you're going outside of the norm then be prepared for people commenting. It's something that comes with the package: if you don't do what "everyone else" does, then "everyone else" are going to ask you why. Don't take it personally, it just says something about the person asking, it doesn't say anything about you or your relationship.
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A
male
reader, Tommy Crue +, writes (1 October 2012):
Enjoy your life the way you want to. It's not like you're 14 and he's 27. Don't worry about what others say. People always like to run their mouths.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I hope it's not a big deal I'm getting married saturday and my fella is 13 years younger than me.
I do know that when he was 24 and I was 37 it would not have worked as he was not mature enough yet...
now at 39 and 52 we are fine.
but you seem to not be concerned about long term and are just having a bit of fun.
have more fun... when strangers stare at you hang on him all lovey dovey and say "DADDY can we go home for my spanking now???"
it's no one's business what two consenting adults do.
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