| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Abstinence from masturbation before first time sex?
Q. I have visited an escort agency for first time sex and failed miserably to achieve an erection. I am 44 and have always masturbated with no problem and get erections. I have always used straight sex images and softcore porn for inspiration and ...
A. 5 September 2012: If you've been able to have an erection when on your own, you are not impotent. ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 17 August 2012: Oh, and YOU are not being rejected. It is this idea of yours that is being rejected. This idea of yours is not YOU. We are rejecting the idea of marrying a stranger. We are not rejecting you. How can we, we don't know you. ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 17 August 2012: " Evaluate yourself & me"
There is nothing to evaluate!!!! We don't know anything about you!!!
You asked if women would marry a man they don't know, you did NOT ask if we want to marry you! You asked a question, and you got answers. Maybe y... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 16 August 2012: Why do you think we're saying no? Has any of the information hit home or are you ignoring it?... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 15 August 2012: You didn't ask me to be your wife, you asked a hypothetical question. I will let you have "the last word" for all I care. But I think you need to get realistic here, because you're living in fantasy land and it's going to hit you hard.
Say y... (read in full...)
How does the drug Ecstasy affect the body?
Q. Hi, just curious... what exactly is ecstasy? I don't plan on taking it, but I'm just curious because I'll see commercials for Trojans Ecstasy condoms, and I want to know exactly what it does, not the condoms, but the actual drug. I've seen questi...
A. 15 August 2012: I had already been drinking and he only allowed me to take half a pill, so don't know if that had something to do with it. Or maybe he gave me something else, lol. I traded half the other pill for some weed later on and got high on that, so I hope ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 14 August 2012: Oh man.. you're not for real. Good luck to you, that's all I can say.
I would suggest you learn more about social conduct before you attempt getting married. When you don't even know who to sucessfully approach a woman, how do you expect to get m... (read in full...)
Is it fair to ask my boyfriend to pay the bills if he moves in and pay no rent?
Q. Would it be fair to ask for my boyfriend to pay all bills (electricity, gas and water) if he moved in with me? I have a house but have a mortgage. He is wanting us to live together but only gives me options of selling or renting mine out and get...
A. 14 August 2012: I think it would be much easier if you just charge rent, bills included. It's so much simpler that way. Charge what you want and what you think is an affordable prize. For example, you can look at the market prize for a room in your area, and cut ... (read in full...)
How does the drug Ecstasy affect the body?
Q. Hi, just curious... what exactly is ecstasy? I don't plan on taking it, but I'm just curious because I'll see commercials for Trojans Ecstasy condoms, and I want to know exactly what it does, not the condoms, but the actual drug. I've seen questi...
A. 14 August 2012: I don't know exactly what ecstasy is made out of, but a quick google search will help you with that. As for the condoms, they have absolutely nothing to do with the drug. Ecstacy is just a word to describe a feeling, after all. And that's the ... (read in full...)
Am I a fool for staying with someone who still can tell their ex they love them too when they can't say that to me?
Q. I have been with the same guy for a year and half. He has always said he had love for me but also has love for his ex. I recently discovered some text that I might not should have from his ex talking about their sexual past. They don't live in ...
A. 14 August 2012: You're not a fool, you're just looking for love in the wrong places. And you don't want to let go of the dream you have of him loving you.. even though he doesn't.
If he still loves his ex.. then ok. Let him love his ex. But that doesn't mean you... (read in full...)
Can't deal with her past - should I leave now or keep trying to deal with my issue?
Q. I used to roll my eyes when people say they had issues dealing with their partner's past; however, now I am unexpectedly on the receiving end as my partner's past is a bit beyond what I am used to, and I am at my wits end trying to stop dwelling on ...
A. 14 August 2012: I stopped reading after the first half. I know how these posts go, you start listing uo whatever "crime" she has committed and wonder how to deal with it. Sort of like "what sort of punishment should I give her according to these crimes?".
But h... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 13 August 2012: With your brilliant idea, why are you still single? You can't just assume every woman here is single just because she'd turn down a marriage proposal from a complete stranger.
Marriages FAIL, in case you haven't heard. The protestants in England ... (read in full...)
How can I make going down on my boyfriend more comfortable for myself and him?
Q. Im 18 years old and my boyfriend likes when I give him a blowjob. But he's too wide to fit in my mouth. He keeps trying to push me down farther but everytime I try my teeth hits him and I choke. So what can I do to make the situation more ...
A. 13 August 2012: First off, NO PUSHING. His hands are NOT to be on your head at any point. Make this clear. You take him in your mouth if and when YOU feel like it. There shall be no pushing.
Don't try to fit him in your mouth if it's physically impossib... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a Gf to say sexy things in her sleep? Every night!
Q. My girlfriend makes sex noises in her sleep, it used to be every now and then, now its a nightly thing that wakes me up. Her history is quite promiscuious which probably adds to the paranoia, but we do keep a regular sex life. I know people can'...
A. 13 August 2012: By ear plugs.
I had a boyfriend once who started a new job at a mini-marked. He started asking me in his sleep how much of this or that product I wanted, if I needed a bag, and that we should go here or there to buy this or that.
People ... (read in full...)
Why do certain qualities make women more attractive to men?
Q. What is most attractive in a women? - Amazing at sports - Artistic and creative - Speaks another language - Plays guitar - Someone more intelligent than them For some reason, so many of my guy friends and my brothers go on about h...
A. 13 August 2012: They offer a topic of conversation and shows a person has an interest. I think you shouldn't focus on the particular aspects of one particular thing, but instead focus on what all of these attributes have in common: an interest a person has for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend forgot about his plans with me and hung out with his friend instead
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years and he is my first love. The other day he said I could see him after my work so on my break that day I phoned him to see if he was still okay with it. Turns out he didn't remember about it and w...
A. 13 August 2012: Ignorant? How is it ignorant to respect his agreement with you? On the contrary, it is respectless to ignore the agreement he had with you. He made plans with you first. Thus, that first plan should be his priority.
You just weren't imporant... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a Gf to say sexy things in her sleep? Every night!
Q. My girlfriend makes sex noises in her sleep, it used to be every now and then, now its a nightly thing that wakes me up. Her history is quite promiscuious which probably adds to the paranoia, but we do keep a regular sex life. I know people can'...
A. 13 August 2012: I fail to see how her sexual life matters in this. She makes noises in her sleep... quite normal. Weather they are "sex noises" or not I have no idea, as any noise can be a sex noise if you're interpreting it that way.
What do you think? That she... (read in full...)
He deleted his profile after I updated our relationship anniversary, Should I take this personally?
Q. So yesterday while on facebook, I did some updates on my profile, including putting my boyfriend and I's anniversary date. We've been together since February 2012 and have always said we're "in a relationship" with one another. Well when I spoke to ...
A. 13 August 2012: I wouldn't take it personally unless your boyfriend is extremely passive agressive. Does he do things like this often, saying it's okay and then acting out on it? If not then why question him?
On facebook you can hide your status easily. No anniv... (read in full...)
How does an atheist overcome inter-faith dating challenges?
Q. Hi, I was wondering what your opinion is on inter-faith dating, specifically for atheists. How do I meet girls who are atheist or agnostic? Do you think girls care whether I’m atheist? My issue is that I really prefer to date girls who are li...
A. 13 August 2012: There's no given solution other than start wearing that sign over your head that says you're an atheist. Arrange a speed-date for atheists?
I have run into atheist through my life, and I can't say I've found them particularly more rare than nor... (read in full...)
Love, lust, and infatuation. can you really define or tell the difference between each one?
Q. Lots of people can not tell the difference between infatuation and love. The key difference is that infatuation (otherwise known as a "crush") only lasts for FOUR months. Only four. Then your feelings like do die out and you're free to look at ...
A. 13 August 2012: Infatuation period can last longer than 4 months, but I'm thinking that at 4-6 months it starts to decline.
People don't realize that infatuation has nothing at all to do with who the person is... I know that sounds so cynical, but it is true. Yo... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 13 August 2012:
This is a rare combination of being cynical and incredibly naive at the same time. I didn't think that was possible actually. On the one hand you are cynical in that you think women can be bought with a ring and should be happy with that. On... (read in full...)
Does attraction fade and attachment grow the longer you're with someone?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and I feel like the spark is gone. He means so much to me, and often tells me how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, I would love to always be with him, he is my best friend but so...
A. 13 August 2012: The spark is the feeling of being in love. This feeling comes from a chemical in your brain that tells you it is time to breed, basically. It makes you happy, crazy, feel dizzy just by looking at the one you like, makes you only think about him, ... (read in full...)
Was I right to confront him about his lying?
Q. hi everyone, for a few months now i have been sure my partner has lied to me about a few things. i tried to let it go at first but the feeling and the way he has acted persisted. so after finding some evidence i confronted him. i only asked a ...
A. 13 August 2012: You did the right thing. He was doing the wrog thing by lying, and theres no excuse.
If he can't stop lying then you shouldn't be with him. I'm sorry to be so blunt about it, but I dated a liar once and I know if they lie about one thing they lie... (read in full...)
Am I crazy? Or is this evidence strong enough that my girlfriend is indeed developing feelings for JOE?
Q. An overwhelming instinct that my girlfriend of over two years is developing feelings for a coworker has led me to snoop, and the snooping has led me to believe my suspicions are true. Help. What do I do? She's been at this new office for thre...
A. 12 August 2012: " It would be totally out of character for her to desire any real future with someone that much older, who has already been married. "
You would be surprised how much a persons taste changes once they meet someone they like who's "suppose... (read in full...)
Am I crazy? Or is this evidence strong enough that my girlfriend is indeed developing feelings for JOE?
Q. An overwhelming instinct that my girlfriend of over two years is developing feelings for a coworker has led me to snoop, and the snooping has led me to believe my suspicions are true. Help. What do I do? She's been at this new office for thre...
A. 12 August 2012: You're attacking this from the wrong angle. The way you put it it sounds as if you want her to admit to liking Joe. Then what? What would be the purpose of that? Do you think that you can force her to change jobs? How would that help you? She still ... (read in full...)
I've never been turned down for sex in the middle of the night, I feel hurt! Am I over reacting?
Q. I'm so hurt it's unbelievable. I live with my boyfriend but went away abroad with my mum and sister for a week and got back last night. everyday we called and texted a lot, he told me all the time how he missed me and couldn't wait to see me. I've ...
A. 12 August 2012: Over-reacting. He made love to you for an hour! He was happy to see you! You and him hadn't planned to have sex all night long, and either way in a relationship you got to give and take, not just take take take and then cry when you can't have it ... (read in full...)
Will using a dildo make first time sex any easier?
Q. I want to use a dildo before i have sex for the first time to avoid pain, possible bleeding and so that he'll be able will fit (and not know that i'm a virgin). Some of my friends had bad experiences with their first time- like their BF got a p...
A. 12 August 2012: I think it will be obvious that you are a virgin anyway, sorry. Being a virgin isn't about having a tight hole. Some virgins can fit a man nicely, without any pain or bleeding... So it's not about that. He'll notice in the way you are unsure about ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my psycho wife for the woman I truly love?
Q. I have no idea where to start. I am a 24 year old married man who just passed his 2 year anniversary. I am married to a somewhat sweet woman, but she isn't very open with her feelings which kills me. She has a very strong personality which throws me ...
A. 12 August 2012: One question... Why did you marry your wife? You say you never truly loved her, while you are calling your ex the "love of your life".
You made a huge mistake marrying. You lied to yourself, and you lied to your wife. I think that now you're s... (read in full...)
My mom and my ex were talking behind my back! Is this a violation of privacy or am I making a big deal out of this?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, I have this issue and I am not sure how to handle it. I am 22 and live with my parents, but I pay them rent and utilities.That said, I had a boyfriend that I recently broke up with, but my family does not know, they just kno...
A. 11 August 2012: I have to agree with BondGirl. The problem isn't that your mother "intruded" in any way. She saw flowers. She got curious. That's how people work. If you want privacy, then move out. If you don't want your mother to know about any flowers then hide ... (read in full...)
Abstinence from masturbation before first time sex?
Q. I have visited an escort agency for first time sex and failed miserably to achieve an erection. I am 44 and have always masturbated with no problem and get erections. I have always used straight sex images and softcore porn for inspiration and ...
A. 8 August 2012: I am not one to promote escorts. There have been young men who come on here and who feel they are missing out, when they are only 19-21 and have their whole life ahead of them to experiment. People like that need life experience, not paid sexual ... (read in full...)
Is it right to be jealous that they do more things together than he does with me?
Q. My bf of 2 years and never wants to go out and do things with me. All we do is sleep, really. Or hang out in his bedroom or mine, until we fall asleep. I can't remember the last time we went out and did something. I have mentioned that I would lik...
A. 7 August 2012: Stop enabling this laziness. Refuse to go to his to "hang out". Only go to his if he comes up with an offer to do something that you would actually be interested in. Play a little hard to get and keep the relationship interesting. Right now I think ... (read in full...)
Abstinence from masturbation before first time sex?
Q. I have visited an escort agency for first time sex and failed miserably to achieve an erection. I am 44 and have always masturbated with no problem and get erections. I have always used straight sex images and softcore porn for inspiration and ...
A. 7 August 2012: Try to not masturbate as you suggest. But I think you are experiencing what most virgins experience: nervousness related to their first sexual encounter. It is not uncommon that virgin men can't get an erection. They don't even need to be virgins ... (read in full...)
If a girl tells a guy that she loves him and his reply is, "You, too," what does it mean?
Q. So, with this being a question regarding the male mind (the most confusing universe in existence), I'm really looking for opinions from some guys. However, if there are any girls who have performed miracles and managed to actually understand what ...
A. 7 August 2012: Depends on the guy. If he just says "you too" it could be because he is shy, and scared to show his feelings. He probably isn't ready to tell you he loves you yet. Maybe he doesn't feel love for you yet, or isn't sure, in which case he says this to ... (read in full...)
I left contact info for one girl, but another girl contacted me! Why?
Q. I am 19 years old, a guy, a took a family holiday this month with my mum and sister. In Majorca, I totally fell for our holiday rep, who was blonde, adorable, and most likely a couple of years older. I never managed to make conversation but said hi ...
A. 5 August 2012: Probably this other rep (although i don't know what a rep is) liked you. And the blonde one who you left the letter for didn't, so she didn't add you. What's there to be confused about? If you don't want the other rep as a friend on facebook just ... (read in full...)
Should I see other guys when I know I'm not over my ex?
Q. My ex finished with me almost 6 months ago, and it broke my heart and I'm still really struggling to get over it. Without wanting to sound vain, I get a lot of male attention and so a couple of months after, I started seeing someone else, but if I'm ...
A. 4 August 2012: "I know I'm too good for him, so WHY do I still care so much about him?"
Because how much you love and care for someone isn't in proportion to how good of a person they are. It is in proportion with how much love and care you have within YOURSELF... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has mites, and still wants to be intimate!
Q. My boyfriend recently told me he had mites, or some sort of bug on his skin which he isnt sure how he got. I am rather freaked out, especially since he said it will be gone in a few days. However, I looked online and it said what hes got is highly ...
A. 4 August 2012: Has he been at his doctors? If so they you need to trust him, and not whatever you read online. Online information is often highly exaggerated. ... (read in full...)
Any advice for a 44 year old virgin? I tried an escourt but had Erectile Dysfunction so she suggested a longer visit next time.
Q. I recently visited an escort agency to have sex for the first time at 44yrs of age but was unable to obtain an erection and nothing happened. Of course i was nervous even though the lady was very attractive, i booked for an hour. She suggeste...
A. 4 August 2012: Do as the escort instructed. That's the best advice I can give you. ... (read in full...)
After having a termination I have lost my libido, any suggestions to get it back?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and in that time we have had a reletively good sex life. a couple of months ago i got pregnant even though i was taking the pill. I ended up having a terminatuion for several reasons. main reason being the ...
A. 3 August 2012: Couples therapy. Your boyfriend needs to grasp that having an abortion is a big deal, and while some women can snap right back to their old life, many women don't. Some women even fall into depression, which could be the cause of your low libido.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is incapable of being aggressive!!
Q. So we've been dating for a while- my boyfriend and I. We are at the point where we've told each other that we love one another. And I do love him dearly. I really do. But there is a problem. My boyfriend has aggressiveness issues. He is incapable ...
A. 3 August 2012: "This has become a problem when people disrespect him and he doesn't do anything. Numerous times I've protected him from it, but he always asks me not to. I think he's afraid of upsetting people or maybe he's scared I'll turn into his father if I ... (read in full...)
They say size doesn't matter but it really does!
Q. Okay so me and my fiance have been together for over three years now and I have a slight issue. To put it bluntly, i have a below average penis size. Sex was great at the start of our relationship and still is in my opinion but I'm pretty sure that ...
A. 3 August 2012: *size not sixe...... (read in full...)
They say size doesn't matter but it really does!
Q. Okay so me and my fiance have been together for over three years now and I have a slight issue. To put it bluntly, i have a below average penis size. Sex was great at the start of our relationship and still is in my opinion but I'm pretty sure that ...
A. 3 August 2012: Okay, so sixe DOESN'T matter here either. Your problems are, as you said yourself, that you have difficulties maintaining an erection. You also don't last for long. Those are your two issues, not your size.
Have you been to your doctor about yo... (read in full...)
I'm scared to be myself because I'm afraid of being talked about
Q. I'm scared to be myself. Im scared that I will be talked about and won't fit in and when this happens i get sad.... I hate being talked about so I keep myself from doing others things.....we people think I'm this or that I get sad or I'll change my ...
A. 3 August 2012: Whats so scary about being noticed? Whats so scary about people talking about you? Explore this about yourself, figure out why this scares you. You need to identify exactly why this is a problem for you.
What if they talk about you, but they are... (read in full...)
Can any bisexual women give me advice on how to make the physical side of this relationship work?
Q. Hello, I am 5 months into my first relationship, I am 21, and this relationship is with a girl. I always presumed myself to be straight, but then I never really had reason to question or doubt myself- the only time I did was when friends would tr...
A. 3 August 2012: Some women find it more difficult to orgasm than others.. that's all I can tell you. I can climax in 10-20 minutes on my own (by using toys or the shower). But there's only been one guy, several years ago, who managed to make me orgasm. And he only ... (read in full...)
What exactly does "passionate sex" mean?
Q. Hi Everyone! So im seeing this new guy who is 8 years older then me,i am in my early 20's.Were getting on great and really enjoy being in eachothers company. The only thing that i am really worried about will be when it comes to our first time s...
A. 2 August 2012: Good sex needs two partners who are into each others. Your exes didn't cheat because you were bad in bed or something. People cheat because they are cheaters, basically. Or because their relationship is already over and they are too chicken to end ... (read in full...)
B/f & I are not on the same page about things that are important to me!
Q. Hi I would just like to check with you guys, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and we enjoy being together but you get to know a bit more about a person as time passes and I have found some areas where we are not on the same page like buying ...
A. 2 August 2012: I need to ask you what you think a "time out" means. What is it? Time away from him? You can do that while still in a relationship. Time to screw around with other guys? I don't see how that would solve your problem. Time to date someone else? ... (read in full...)
Are women of just two types: girlfriends and the easy ones?
Q. I have heard a lot of times that men put women into 2 categories on spot: girlfriend/wife material AND just for fun/sex buddy etc. What are your insights on this topic?...
A. 2 August 2012: I think it's true. Well, some men have girls as platonic friends as well, but there's definitely some girls that are girlfriend/wife-material, and some that are just "for fun". A girl that has slept/been in a relationship with one of their friends ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's dad walked in on us!
Q. im 16, my girlfriend is also 16, she is 7 months older than me. i was at her house today in the garage and her dad walked in on us going at it and our pants had just pulled up before he could see anything and said to his daughter, "what are you ...
A. 2 August 2012: Your love for each other is irrelevant at this point. What's the age of conscent in your state? 18? If so then get your hands out of each others pants before someone denies you access to see each other. There's nothing you can do to make it "right", ... (read in full...)
He left to do drugs while I was making him dinner. Am I wrong for being mad?
Q. Okay so today I was hanging out with my boyfriend like normal, (we usually hang everyday) and hes a sweet heart. I really like him and maybe love him. But see the thing is he smokes weed, I don't really care about that but while I was making him ...
A. 2 August 2012: I have to ask, have you seen what drugs do to people? No? Well I have. It screws up peoples brains. Weed isn't innocent either. Sure, you can have one try at it in your life and it wont hurt you. That's weed, it's mild that way. But you get addicted ... (read in full...)
He left to do drugs while I was making him dinner. Am I wrong for being mad?
Q. Okay so today I was hanging out with my boyfriend like normal, (we usually hang everyday) and hes a sweet heart. I really like him and maybe love him. But see the thing is he smokes weed, I don't really care about that but while I was making him ...
A. 2 August 2012: You don't really care that the boyfriend, who you say you care for and perhaps even love, is smoking weed and frying his brain cells away? Really? It's one thing to accept it, but another to not mind at all. Your boyfriend is screwing up his head.. ... (read in full...)
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